What brought you to become a hobbyist?

[jdob100 110]

I am just asking for this general question for curiosity

 

To answer my own question: I am using providers as I was in a bad marriage for 19 years. After the birth of my daughter, sex was very infrequent and I mean once or twice a year. The last two years I did not have sex with her at all. That along with a there things, we finally broke up. I actually tried to get in the swing circuit, but it was very hard for me to jump in as a single male. I started to date a woman, but we lived over an hour away from each other and I still had the need to make up for lost time thus me becoming a hobbyist.

 

Whats your story?

[Ice4fun 78407]

I love Sex and the companionship of a beautiful lady (note beauty is not only a physical thing). Of course the hobby is filling a void that existed in my life... but not just a sexual void.

 

Just my opinion.

[NotchJohnson 214123]

My reason for being in this lifestyle is because of lack of intimacy. I'm a happy married man with a wife that gives me everything I need except for intimacy. The very few times we have passionate love is so far in between that I never remember when was the last time.

[Guest D***el B***e]

I'll echo Notch's comment! ... my story is very similar, making love to my SO two or three times a year just isn't enough. I need the passion, the intimacy, and the occasional wild fling ... and most providers are quite skillfull at doing that!

[Guest B*o***32]

/r/DeadBedroom

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

I am an unattached widower who has had the one important love in his life pass away. I never want to go through this again and I have no desire for a relationship. I enjoy female SP companionship greatly and the intimacy that comes from it with no strings attached. So far I have only been with one lovely lady (a CERB member) and am looking forward to meeting up with another lovely lady this week when she comes to town. That's it for me really.

[emiafish 30979]

I started in this lifestyle long before we began to call it Hobbying. As a young man in my 20's I had a raging libido. I was a two to three times a day kinda guy. Sadly, my GF at the time was a 2-3 times a week kinda girl. So I sought relief elsewhere on the streets of Montreal.

 

My current SO and I have the same mismatch. Only now, some 35+ years later! I've slowed to 2-3 times a week, while she is at 2-3 times a month. Knowing this disparity might spell trouble to our marriage, my wife approached the subject by telling me she didn't want me to cheat, but she knew that she did not satisfy me as much as I needed. She told me that if I needed to be "taken care of" then she was ok with that under a few conditions: I remain discreet, I don't bring anything home (disease or drama) and I keep it to myself.

 

We've been together for over 31 years, so it works for us. Plus I get to show her all that I've learned over the years. She really likes that part.

 

Like so many providers, I've been able to separate the physical act from the emotional connection. Hobbying keeps me at home for my wife and I get to practice in between matrimonial sexual bouts. What could be better?

[kmwq 5477]

My story is very similar to most above. In my case, we haven't been intimate in more than 6 years. At first I stayed true and try to tell myself that I was strong enough because I love my SO and she was worth the sacrifice. It took a while but I finally admit to myself that I was weak and had to take care of my needs outside of our relationship. I'm a much happier guy and we are a happier couple now. Our relationship is even better now (at least that's what I think) than before. My only regret is that this happiness has come at a huge potential cost (her trust in me, if she finds out). Sometimes, I get the feeling she knows but goes out of her way to avoid it so I've not push the intimacy issue anymore. Wow, this is sounding like a confession. Anyway, that is why I'm part of this Cerb community. I can sort of be myself and open here, it's therapeutic.

[Found7 454]

Initially a bad breakup with no desire to repeat it in the near future.

I hate the bar scene tried online dating and I just can't get into it.

Until I do find someone I can share my life with, this hobby takes care of needs that I have. I have met some really great people along the way.

[Happyjack 1090]

For me it was a way to stay sane. I love my partner but for the last 2 years she has been battling a mental illness that has put a huge strain on her, me and our relationship. Sex has dropped down to pretty much zero and everything in our lives revolves around trying to get her well. I thought I was going to go crazy with the stress and then I saw an SP. All of a sudden I had an hour that was all about me. An hour where I could relax and stop worrying. It was truly amazing.

 

Now I try and see an SP every couple of weeks. I have met some truly amazing women and i feel way better.

 

Do I feel guilty for hiding it from my partner? Yes. Am I planning to stop? No. Does that make me a shitty person? Probably. Sigh.

[Mec88 331]

I am happily married in every way but sexually. I still do have sex once a month but its never initiated by the wife, and I'm sure it would be longer if I didn't push the issue. When we do have sex it's more of a chore with no kissing or foreplay. I was slowly starting to develop a resentment for her so I finally decided after several years to contact a SP.

[loopie 15358]

I read the cartoon book 'Paying For It' by Chester Brown, which is a memoir of the cartoonist's experiences as a "john" in Toronto in the 1990s and early 2000s. I read it because I like the author's work, not because I was interested in the sex trade. But his depiction of hobbying got me thinking that seeing prostitutes could be something I would enjoy. Which got me to investigate it, which lead to me trying it, which lead to me enjoying it.

 

I was single when I first started hobbying. I had not been in a serious relationship in years and missed having sex. I was not going to settle for a bad relationship in order to obtain sex. I did not like the idea of cruising women in bars and clubs. This seemed like a very straightforward and honest arrangement.

 

Since starting hobbying, I have come and gone from this lifestyle a couple times. Sometimes it is because I am pursuing a romantic relationship and I would feel conflicted about hobbying and dating at the same time, like I wasn't giving dating its fair shake. I left hobby once because I was truly in love with someone (it didn't work out). I also left hobbying for awhile because I was living in Sweden, where it is illegal. I return to this hobby when it feels right (and when I'm in a country where it is legal).

[Fresh start 17467]

For me it was a way to stay sane. I love my partner but for the last 2 years she has been battling a mental illness that has put a huge strain on her, me and our relationship. Sex has dropped down to pretty much zero and everything in our lives revolves around trying to get her well. I thought I was going to go crazy with the stress and then I saw an SP. All of a sudden I had an hour that was all about me. An hour where I could relax and stop worrying. It was truly amazing.

 

Now I try and see an SP every couple of weeks. I have met some truly amazing women and i feel way better.

 

Do I feel guilty for hiding it from my partner? Yes. Am I planning to stop? No. Does that make me a shitty person? Probably. Sigh.

 

Your situation sounds similar to mine, and I too thought they way you did. A wise woman once told me that I got to think about myself in order to stay strong for my so.

 

I no longer feel guilty or ashamed, I do what keeps helps keep me sane cause I'm no good to my wife if I'm not. We all need certain things in life and if you need this there's no shame nor should you feel guilty.

[SeanieC 120]

Your situation sounds similar to mine, and I too thought they way you did. A wise woman once told me that I got to think about myself in order to stay strong for my so.

 

 

 

I no longer feel guilty or ashamed, I do what keeps helps keep me sane cause I'm no good to my wife if I'm not. We all need certain things in life and if you need this there's no shame nor should you feel guilty.

 

 

I absolutely agree.

My wife and I have sex only on the weekends. That is not enough for me. I found out that I was pushing her too hard for sex. I was demanding it and talking about it all the time. She was becoming nervous and telling me I was obsessing. I finally decided I was wreaking havoc to our relationship. I have finally decided to start seeing SPs and give my wife some peace. I will be happier and a better husband that way.

[punter101 666]

I'm single mates and I'm not the type to be involved in a relationship just to get sex. Also this hobby allows me to bat way out of my league (you know, kinda like Woody Harrelson's character in True Detective). So basically I got attracted to this hobby so I could have sex with hot women.