Who Knows About What You Do?

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

How many of you have ever divulged your profession or hobby to friends or family? What were some of the reactions? I have a few friends who know, but only one I feel comfortable discussing things with. I'm fairly certain that my strict Catholic family would disown me if they ever found out. I'm extremely curious to hear some other experiences. I know when I told the few people that do know, it felt like I was coming out of the closet! Would they still want to be my friend? Are they disgusted by me now? Are they going to rat me out? I anxiously await to hear some of your stories.

[Jabba 18389]

Strictly my own POV here:

I've never felt the need to disclose my little hobby to anyone, not my wife, kids, co-workers, girlfriend, mistress, Tiger Woods or even Jesse James. I've been told on a few occasions (by my MA however) that the secret ALWAYS somehow gets out.

 

I don't feel like tempting the fates by saying that will never happen to me. It happened to a buddy of mine and he got his nuts roasted for it (divorce, alimony - the whole enchilada). Do I accept the risk?....oh yeah! Why?...'cuz I love the experiences and the intrigue.

 

So, the question I had to ask myself is, would there be an up-side to "outing" myself? To me the answer is obvious.

 

Has a friend ever unintentionally made an appointment with you? What would you say or do?

Personally, if one of my lady acquaintances ever got in the business, I would see her in a drop-dead second.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

How many of you have ever divulged your profession or hobby to friends or family? .... I anxiously await to hear some of your stories.

 

Until more replies come here, there are some stories on Seymour's thread from last year which you can read while you're waiting:

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=8704

[Guest S***e]

My wife knows. She has no problem with my encounters provided they are not in our home, are done safely and discretely (only with established escorts and no street girls), and that encounters are not discussed with her out of respect. She has medical issues and we are not sexually intimate nor have we been for a number of years.

[Auralie (retired) 227]

Do you ever feel like a secret agent? I like how others talked about it like being "in the closet" too. For me personally, I have understanding friends and family who I know would love me anyway. But I also know that they would worry about me, feel guilty like they should have helped me or stopped me, and..well..it would just break my mother's heart. So I don't feel like it's worth sharing it with anyone.

Since I'm independent and don't have girls in a studio or agency to talk with, I'm very lucky to have a good friend who's also in the business so we can chat and vent and help each other out. It's one of those things that I don't think anyone can truly understand unless they're doing it too, even if they're not going to judge.

[capitalman 3861]

I have one long term buddy that is a hobbyist too, not sure how we started talking about it but we found out about each other somehow.

 

Most people I know ride the straight and narrow line and I'm already considered the wild one, so this would be the final nail in the coffin if it came out. I think my Dad would understand as he once divulged to me that he had "planted his seed into the womb of a whore" when he was overseas during WWII. :) His words, not mine!

[A***** A***** 510]

A few close family members and friends know what I do, beyond that, there is no need for everyone to know this and that, which is just the way that I like it.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Sort of like Dexter I have a dark passenger...lol

 

I'm pretty positive knows but I can never be 100% sure. And I couldn't tell any buddy since the male relationship is inherently based on ball busting and one of them would blow it for sure. I could trust a woman much more easily and I guess I do

 

Most know that I don't travel a completely conventional path but surprised would be putting it midly.

 

Another reason to be kind and appreciative of one another is we're sort of keepers of each others secret.

 

Peace

Mr Green

[Guest gagagaga]

absolutelty no one!!!

[A***** A***** 510]

 

Most know that I don't travel a completely conventional path but surprised would be putting it midly.

 

Peace

Mr Green

 

Kind of like marching to the beat of your own drum right? I am the same way here:)

[pjrd 324]

I don't brag about it but several friends and family members know I hobby. I'm single and not ashamed of it at all. Sometimes I watch unhappy friends with their families and think to myself ( boy I could really hook you up) but usually keep it to myself and don't talk about it until someone asks.

I can see it would be hard for the ladies to tell mom for fear of how mom will react. I think if my mom was still alive I would keep it from her just because that's my mom who thinks the world of me and I wouldn't want to spoil her image of me.(she's old school and would not understand that hobbying keeps me out of the bars and out of trouble with other guys women)

Mom doesn't hafta know everything but probably does.

PJ

[bucken 1479]

No one knows, and hope to keep it that way. SO would freak...

[whatsup 11893]

I have confided to a friend about my hobbying activities. I feel that it will remain between us, time will tell.

 

Some days I thought that I should of just kept it to myself but it is somewhat enlightening to be able to discuss the hobby with someone.

[hunknhot 1067]

Totally 007 here..

 

Well.. except for the rest of you (15,000 and counting?).. lol

[kih 458]

I disclosed my activities to a friend recently and convinced same to experience. The feedback I received was very positive.

[VedaSloan 119179]

My wife knows. She has no problem with my encounters provided they are not in our home, are done safely and discretely (only with established escorts and no street girls), and that encounters are not discussed with her out of respect. She has medical issues and we are not sexually intimate nor have we been for a number of years.

 

I wish more couples were open like you are.

 

I disclosed my activities to a friend recently and convinced same to experience. The feedback I received was very positive.

 

That's so excellent! It feels good to confide in someone, eh?

 

 

 

So my story, which I've told before, but goes like this. My mother and my sister know, but my father, grandparents, etc do not. Here in Ottawa, where I live, I'm out to everyone I know and people you have random conversations with and they ask, "what do you do for a living?" I always answer that I work as an escort. So my hairdresser knows, my waxer knows, multiple classes of students at the University of Ottawa and Carleton, as well as some of my professors.

 

When you are sometimes asked to give guest lectures on the subject of sex work, you can hardly be "in the closet" about what you do.

 

Why do I put myself out there? Because I personally believe that the more of the general population that is educated as to the variety of experience and diversity of human beings who participate in this industry, the more I can change public perception of whores/hookers/escorts/courtesans/sexual healers/sex workers/service providers.

 

Oh and when I told my mom, she said, "I'm impressed that you have the courage to take advantage of such a goldmine."

 

True story.

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

You're my new hero Erin! Now that's a woman who knows who she is, makes no qualms about it, and tells anyone who asks. I aspire to be as bold as you one day. (Although I don't see it happening anytime soon.) Keep it up girl!

[Cato 160314]

I have a split existence. Sometimes I'm out of the country for as much as half a year. In the 18 months since I started this hobby, I've been to Australia a few times, and went to sp social events, hung out with mates from the board there, etc.

 

In Canada I'm more discreet; I've discussed this activity just with two good friends here. One is interested in participating but is still hesitant, the other accepts my more unconventional side, but isn't interested himself. Or not yet.

 

I've recently met hunknhot from cerb for a beer at Barb's, so I'm starting to be more public.

[Mikeyboy 27133]

I have 1 friend I confide in. He tends to live a very secretive life himself. It's nice to have someone who you can talk to about anything.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Additional Comments:

You're my new hero Erin! Now that's a woman who knows who she is, makes no qualms about it, and tells anyone who asks. I aspire to be as bold as you one day. (Although I don't see it happening anytime soon.) Keep it up girl!

 

 

Thank you miss!

[andflemcol 3975]

Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a friend to discuss my hobbying with. What am I thinking...the stakes are too high...trust no one ...no matter how close. I would always be worried that anyone I told would let my secret out.

 

Cheers

[jman47 233]

Who knows?!:lol:

For real...Me and my SP(s)...8)

 

Virtually...only about 50,000 or so anonymous fun lovers...:mrgreen:

 

Total discretion is the only way to go. Been in situations where I thought I could trust a few...lol:motion::rolleyes:.

andflemcol - I could not have said it better.;-)

 

Stay cool and Have fun,

jman47

[777flyer 1612]

Having just now started enjoying the hobby, I have decided that absolute discretion is a must....for me anyway.

 

Not everyone shares our liberal views of this hobby, nor would most ever consider it......so i choose to keep people in the dark and don't take anyone into my confidence.

 

I have far too much to lose in terms of my family, job and friends....and people just don't really 'Get' what this hobby is about and how much of an enjoyment it can bring.

 

I don't particularly feel like being judged by the narrow minded.....many of whom run our society...

 

SNK

[Andee 220524]

My siblings all know except for one because he is hard headed and his wife would like nothing better to have another excuse to hate our side of the family.

 

Most of my friends know except for a few from my "straight" office job world and some I see occasionally for social get-togethers.

 

I'm at the point now, if someone finds out and for some reason doesn't like me for who I am and what I do, too bad for them. I'm tired of trying to please others.

 

Even when I meet a new man now, I'm always upfront pretty much from the outset with them about what I do. I see no point in keeping it a secret.

 

The man I'm sort of seeing now thinks it's kind of cool and seems to gets off on it. He finds it intriguing and I feel so relieved that I can be exactly myself around him with no fear of being judged. It's great.

[spaceykca 198]

Other than those that Ive seen, no one knows. And I certainly hope it stays that way! lol... As the ladies I have seen know how freakishly spazzy and neurotic about this I am. Even though it would be such a long shot I worry about seeing someone that I already know, or knows my wife!... I think I would have a mini heart attack! Always extremely nervous when I get to that door and knock, I just have visions of it swinging open and theres my wifes best friend, or my wife! lol... and you know what if it was my wife(even though i doubt there is a chance in hell that would ever be the case) I would still be the one in trouble!

 

Would I like to talk about things to a friend? Yeah, but I wouldnt want to burden anyone with this. For me its complicated as it is and have kind of been on a journey of sexual discovery of myself, obviously without my SO knowing(which is a long story in itself), so I dont think I would want to burden any of my friends with keeping that kind of a secret. You know? Which is why Im grateful this site is around.