By 'Popular' Demand

[SuperNewf 1394]

I figure my last words to the executioner will do for this.

 

While you are new here it's taken you no time to ruffle the feathers of a number of helpful members. Your behavior has the characteristics of an internet troll looking to stir things up and cause some drama.

 

My behavior has the characteristics of somebody trying to do everything he can to learn the ins and outs of this social arena and make his first experience with an SP as perfect as possible for both of us. I will not apologize for this. If the feathers of some people I do not know and who more importantly don't know anything about me got ruffled because I didn't immediately take their (occasionally rude) replies as gospel without even trying to understand what they were saying, then it is much better that it happen here than during an actual encounter with an SP that would ruin the date for both of us.

 

Although it is unfortunate and regrettable that some people misunderstood some things I was saying, I have attempted to clarify them and further explain at every turn; if they chose to ignore my posts and make incorrect assumptions about me, then there is unfortunately nothing more I can do about it, as I have already tried my best throughout my posts.

 

Since I have taken the time to fully explain all of my questions, detail why I was asking each of them, and address all points brought up to me as anyone would do in courteous discourse, I find flat outaccusing me of being a 'troll' with zero facts to back it up to be extremely presumptuous, dismissive, and outright offensive. Far from respectful or civil.

 

In a couple of instances you've asked questions but when provided the answers you challenge those who took the time to reply and help you.

In exactly three threads I have received replies to my questions that misunderstood the question, made incorrect assumptions that were not related to it, or flat out used an angry or combative tone to me. In those instances I have done my best to politely address the speaker, attempt to clear up the misunderstanding and explain the question more specifically to alleviate the confusion.

 

When the answer was partially relevant or brought up another question, I attempted to ask clarifying questions to ensure that I did not misunderstand the answer and could fully understand where the other person is coming from. Making assumptions or just ignoring the reply like what has been done to me would be uncourteous and disrespectful.

 

Whenever I was provided a complete, relevant answer, I replied with my understanding and thanked the person, usually both in a reply and with the thank post button.

 

Perhaps you should take some time to observe a little more about how this board works and how courteous members interact with one another in a respectful and civil manner.

I have been observing this board for quite some time, and to be frank the biggest pattern I have picked up on is a small clique of people who go around posting nearly identical one liners that don't really explain much and then all thanking each and every one of each other's posts just because they already agree with it. This isn't useful or new information. Intellectual discourse for the purpose of learning or exchanging idea is useful. Patting each other on the back while not providing anything that makes anybody else think is not.

 

It might also serve you well to make fewer assumptions when posting your questions. It's those assumptions that are keeping you from earning those rep points you seek.

I do not make assumptions, and take great care when thinking about responses and questions not to. The fact that others seem to be making assumptions about the nature of my questions or in their replies, and stick by them despite my attempts to explain otherwise, is what seems to be causing their frustration. For example, I have explained multiple times that I do not care about reputation points, once directly to you, and you continue to insist that I seek them. You are at this point blatantly calling me a liar for no discernable reason. That is a trolling and combative tone, and even when others have used a less than courteous tone against me I have still replied to them carefully and politely.

 

Trolls blindly seek to intentionally say 'inciteful', intellectually vacant things for their own amusement, like calling genuine, thought-out questions troll posts. They also do not crave 'rep points', quite the opposite. They want red pips, not green. I can tell you for a fact that I am not anything close to amused, but rather deeply upset by this, whereas a troll would have taken glee in receiving an infraction and then a ban, where somebody wasted their breath saying stuff he wouldn't bother to read. Drama is serious, actual emotional words and hurt feelings. Trolling is poorly thought, pointless puff said with minimal effort resulting in extracting large effort from others, resulting in a net emotional loss to the other person. So, with that in mind, here's the drama that you created, the combative tone that you self-fulfilling prophesied, the "QQ MOAR" that makes your day:

 

I expected more from this community; by virtue of its industry I thought that the people here would be more open-minded, understanding, and accepting of those with mental disabilities, social difficulties or who otherwise do not fit the stereotypical mold of a normal person with normal relationships. Instead, I feel like I am in high school again, and am being bullied just because I do not automatically think exactly like the exclusive, elitist group of 'cool kids' and want to try to work to understand them rather than blindly fear and worship them.

 

This community thinks itself special, in a 'business like no other' consisting of a completely unique social dynamic. However, as somebody that has spent his entire life trying to study and understand humans and their social dynamics I can tell you right now from my experiences today that it is not. It is completely identical to every other congregation of humans on this planet, its relationship dynamics just as pedictable and shallow, its self-image just as dogmatic. Unfortunately for me, it was only in hindsight.

 

Nevertheless, principles come before intimacy. Goodbye and thank you to the people who did try to understand and help me with my quest to get better at relationships. It is a shame that I won't be allowed to get to know you better by virtue of not being good enough at relationships.

 

Best regards,

Mike P.

[Guest S*rca****sid]

Well I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that's a good way to get banned.

 

 

Ref: The MODERATOR account - it is foolish to pick a fight with the mod!

[piano8950 32577]

I try to avoid assumptions, so I'm going to avoid making one of the OP's intention. Since he is suspended, this post is for mainly newcomers. This is a sort of online forum etiquette for Cerb, and for almost any other forum out there.

 

Firstly, I noticed that the OP started a fairly sizable number of threads. In theory there is nothing wrong with this, a curious person is a person open to new ideas. But there is such a thing as too soon. Get to talk to people on the forum (again this isn't only for Cerb). Let them feel you out. This matters because when someone new comes along with a sort of thread that may bring out trouble, the first thing that comes to mind is that person is simply a troll intent of pissing people off.

 

Now your questions may be genuine, but being new to any forum you don't completely get a sense of what the culture is. Speaking from experience, one of my first threads was on the matter of race and preferences - A topic that by itself requires a delicate touch, unaided by the fact that others really had no method to gauge my intentions.

 

On to Cerb specifics. If any newcomer were to go to other erb sites, they may notice a very different forum culture. From being active on one, I can see how Cerb takes a different approach towards forum behaviour. Many people seem to like it, and are wary of someone new coming in with a possible agenda to stir some trouble.