Do Regulars Matter?

[JoyfulC 132299]

Just like in the civilian world, all realtionships need tending and it's incumbment on both parties not to get "lazy" and take the situation for granted. And eventhough this is a financial transaction first and foremost in my view both parties need to participate equally to maximize the experience.

 

Absolutely. One should never work less hard to ensure a repeat of the 40th visit than of the 1st.

 

And I'm glad you brought up the part about the gentlemen not taking things for granted. Over the years, I have had to take a break from seeing some regulars who were once my favourite because of precisely that. I give them some time and, in most cases, they come to realize that they value the relationship enough to do right by it -- and me.

 

Well if you hadn't f--ked me over in the first place I won't have looked else where.

 

I hope you don't mind, but I may have quoted you on that a few times over the years. ;)

 

Customer service is becoming a lost art these days and the new motto seems to be "we're not happy until you're not happy"

 

That's actually a sign on the wall at some Transport Canada aviation inspection offices.

[jman47 233]

Hello All,

 

Winnipegcub thank you for starting this thread. I have often wondered the exact same thing myself. It has been very interesting to read the replies and I have even been motivated to nominate a few of them.

 

When initially reading your question I immediately had a few thoughts from both the business side of the aisle as well as the personal or human side. It is very personally encouraging to see many of those thoughts come to light in the thread so far. As it is it will imit most of my answer to commentary on thoughts similar to mine, but here goes...

 

My regulars are what make my day in this business...My relief from the BS I have to deal with on a daily basis. It is a very big compliment to have someone want to see you again...and again for that matter.

 

Never hearing back from a regular is kind of like losing touch with an old friend...who you may feel akward by shooting off an email to asking how he's doing for fear of him thinking you were only contacting him for business means.

 

To the "collector hobbiests" I have no quams with wanting to try everything once, but in the end I will say that finding the right person (or two) and becoming a regular of theirs is the biggest honour a girl can give you, and if shes appreciative, a great compliment should you be a gentleman to her for her business and are a noble client...repeat business will definitely earn you a girl's trust and have her earn your's....from that point on it's all YMMV

 

Annessa2009,

I appreciated all of your commentary. Some of your comments though are priceless and heart warming to see. Sometimes as clients on the other side of a cash transaction, in a cash driven business we often wonder exactly how the lady feels. it's good to hear the sentiment that we are appreciated.

 

About getting in touch with an old client - I hear what you are saying...but I would never be offended if someone were to send me an email just to see how I was doing (had I been a regular). It's done all the time in the business world to attempt to reconnect.

 

And you are spot on with your comments on repeat business and cumulative time lending itself to deeper mutual trust and respect. Trust and respect are the cornerstones of any good relationship...personal, business, any relationship...;) Repeat time also leads to more satisfying experiences too, IMHO.;)8):69:

 

Oh, and being a man who is not a "collector", I truly appreciate what you said in your closing remark. Less is sometimes better, when you find a jewel why not stay with it. The "honor" you mention goes both ways...:bowdown:

 

I agree that a regular siituation is great for both the client and provider. There's the obvious comfort/safety zone and then there's the familiarity of each other that adds to the intimacy.

 

Just like in the civilian world, all realtionships need tending and it's incumbment on both parties not to get "lazy" and take the situation for granted. And eventhough this is a financial transaction first and foremost in my view both parties need to participate equally to maximize the experience.

 

Customer service is becoming a lost art these days and the new motto seems to be "we're not happy until you're not happy"

 

Peace

Mr Green

 

Mr Green,

I absolutely agree 100% that in any BTB relationship that BOTH sides need to work to keep the relationship solid, win-win, and mutually beneficial.

 

It is so true that as everyone in business wants to "feed the tiger" or grow their business that many times they are preoccupied or spend too much time or money cultivating "new" business and let the business they have fall to neglect (aka take it for granite):roll:. When that happens, and when the client feels unappreciated, and as consumers we tend to take our business elsewhere. As we say in the business world, the customer votes with his spending $.

 

What's the old saying - a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush...:lol:

 

Regular/repeat clients are humbling & much appreciated for so many reasons. It speaks volumes as far as performance, attitude, chemistry, respect & trust on both sides. Building a strong foundation like this between two people in the real world, is far & few between. Negative setbacks in real relationships, naturally occur in time, such as jealousy for example. Whereas consensual arrangements, rooted from boundaries, have automatically flourished happiness between the SP & client relationship. As time goes on, this paves the way to a healthy companionship they both easily find comfort in, & that they simply haven't found anywhere else. As far as I am concerned, you can't really put a price on that. This is just my personal experience though....:grin:

 

bailey summer,

This is so beautifully said I do not know how I can add to it. I echo your sentiments on performance, attitude, chemistry, respect and trust...:grin:

 

I will add this, speaking as a repeat client...when what you expressed here is genuinely expressed to the client - it is priceless to that person.

 

Thanks again everyone and keep having fun,

 

jman47

[bailey summer of Winnipeg 262]

 

bailey summer,

This is so beautifully said I do not know how I can add to it. I echo your sentiments on performance, attitude, chemistry, respect and trust...:grin:

 

I will add this, speaking as a repeat client...when what you expressed here is genuinely expressed to the client - it is priceless to that person.

 

Thanks again everyone and keep having fun,

 

jman47

Thank you so much for the reflective sincerity of your words & thoughts, I am truly flattered! Kisses!

[Chanel Reign 28097]

Having had this thread resurrected was so time appropriate for me. I am still new and while the line between business vs relationships are still mine to draw, I see where the pitfalls and the benefits can occur.

While it is true I warm up to most clients, I still be myself and hope thats what they want to come back for. As I've said before, a client is an onion, with layers of person. Just like we are.

[Guest O***wa**W]

Regulars are great for me. Not only do we get to know each other and feel more comfortable over time, but I always know I can count on having a certain number of sessions a month from them.

[misterdynomite30 174]

Guys feel free to chime in with your views on loyalty to a given lady.

 

Loyalty to a SP has been something i've always tried once i got to know them, but made the mistake of becoming ''too cool'' with them and letting the friendship overlap the business or letting my guard down way too much... Ive been with regulars (regular being someone i was seeing over 2 years at the least) that i trusted and were with for a while and the trust was there and sometimes i would help them out with advances to help them when times were tough because i sympethised with their situation, but then they moved without notice after getting the cash and i never recieved the service that was promised. blocked my phone calls, msn, yahoo, etc.

 

Left a bad taste in my mouth to become too close to them and have that happen... but it was a lesson well learned. Never mix friendship and business. Stay professional but keep everything strictly business.

 

All the power to those who have regulars and can make it work. I tend to try one and move on which is probably better for me. As long as its professional, its all good. 8-)

[Annessa 22743]

Loyalty to a SP has been something i've always tried once i got to know them, but made the mistake of becoming ''too cool'' with them and letting the friendship overlap the business or letting my guard down way too much... Ive been with regulars (regular being someone i was seeing over 2 years at the least) that i trusted and were with for a while and the trust was there and sometimes i would help them out with advances to help them when times were tough because i sympethised with their situation, but then they moved without notice after getting the cash and i never recieved the service that was promised. blocked my phone calls, msn, yahoo, etc.

 

Left a bad taste in my mouth to become too close to them and have that happen... but it was a lesson well learned. Never mix friendship and business. Stay professional but keep everything strictly business.

 

All the power to those who have regulars and can make it work. I tend to try one and move on which is probably better for me. As long as its professional, its all good. 8-)

 

 

woah...regular girls, versus 'scammer girls" are not to be confused....the subject is about people we see often and how important they are to us....not about being ripped off by flakes and learning a hard lesson.

 

believe me, I have had my share of gents i deemed as 'regulars" who took advantage of me...many people know that while I *saw them regularily* (until the point the didnt't cough up the cash) that didnt land them in my books as trusted regulars.

 

I think everyone needs to forget the money paid per X amount of days reference as being considered a 'regular'...if in the end you are a client who ripps off a gal or a girl who scams a guy it doesnt matter how often you see them........this is not a subject of quantity, yet one of quality.

 

The true regulars are those that hobby with good intentions, not a false sense of security for writing an I.Owe.U. due to their "status"

 

Lets get real here. This thread is titled "do regulars matter?"...NOT "how much do you feel wronged after being scammed?"

[misterdynomite30 174]

woah...regular girls, versus 'scammer girls" are not to be confused....the subject is about people we see often and how important they are to us....not about being ripped off by flakes and learning a hard lesson.

 

 

Lets get real here. This thread is titled "do regulars matter?"...NOT "how much do you feel wronged after being scammed?"

 

 

These girls were regulars who i've known for years ..not newbies.

 

 

And i am being real here and i did answer the question at the end of my post :

 

 

All the power to those who have regulars and can make it work.I tend to try one and move on which is probably better for me. As long as its professional, its all good.

 

In simpler terms, it matters if you can make it work.

[Annessa 22743]

These girls were regulars who i've known for years ..not newbies.

 

And i am being real here and i did answer the question at the end of my post :

 

In simpler terms, it matters if you can make it work.

 

perhaps this is just me but when a regular is a noble gent there is no need to "make it work"...it just works.

 

I'm sorry you were taken advantage of by girls who saw you regularily. but my initial post to your reply was to reassure you that this is not the norm nor anywhere near proffessional for anyone to do and I hope it doesn't put the idea inyour head that if you see a girl on a regular basis that she is only going to take advantage of you like the other girls before you did.

 

Regular and newbie are also not opposite sides of the spectrum, I'll add. Regular is a term near and dear to my heart which implies that I have and would see that client (or you see that girl) again....it doesnt imply their experience level. Someone can be new to the industry (a "newbie") and still have regulars so I'm not sure why that was brought up.

 

The OP was about 'do regular clients matter?'...If an SP has scammed you the answer is pretty easy that it matters enough that you would be angry about it afterwards....but there is a simple solution to that....dont see her again..in which case, she is no longer a regular SP of your choice.....same as if a client becomes unworthy of our time we stop seeing them....and stop considering them a regular.....so in both cases, both situations no longer apply to the original post of this thread.

 

xo

[Kubrickfan 12836]

I think there's something here that needs to be layered in to the discussion, especially when it comes to "regulars": some guys probably start becoming regulars because they enjoy the social relationship aspect of things just as much as, if not more so, than the sex. It could be because the guys are missing that social aspect in their personal lives. That's where things can become complicated in a hurry as I would argue that the expectations of guys in a social setting are actually higher, and that's why you can end up with hurt feelings for the guys and unmet financial promises for the ladies.

 

This situation requires some realism from the guys, but also some finesse from the ladies if they want to maintain that "regular" relationship. As to the guys, is it realistic to thing that the gorgeous brunette with the mile long legs and the great personality and brain (sorry Annessa, I couldn't resist ... smile) really wants to become my personal girlfriend? Most probably not, and its really unfair to the ladies for the guys to expect otherwise. As to the ladies, a guy that's looking to spend a lot of social time with you, and is fudging on the reimbursement for your time, is probably looking for something from you that is missing from his life. He's probably not trying to rip you off, but he may be trying to demonstrate that he can have a relationship and feel good about it, and its probably a really sensitive issue for the guy ... that's why finesse is required if the lady doesn't want to lose her "regular."

 

I guess one way around this problem is to simply maintain a rule not to see clients outside of the usual "visit." The other is, as nice as some of these ladies want to be, to insist on being paid something for that time. That can actually help, in my opinion, to avoid a social situation where the guy getting confused and feelings get hurt on both sides.

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Hey Kubrickfan I ususally agree with most of what you're saying. And may not totalling disagree with your statement this time. But rather than layer a related but different theme into this thread (seeing SPs in social settings (free or not)), I posted this thread more about the relationship of regulars within the context of the hobby. I've seen only a couple SPs, had great experiences with most and consider them/me regulars. Which means I'm at a point where when travelling to their towns my focus is on their availability and the hope we can get together....not who else among the lovely ladies might I want to visit. So was curious if the ladies and other gents find that important. The issue you bring I have many problems with but I'll wait to post them within that thread.

Cheers.

[pjrd 324]

Loyalty to a SP has been something i've always tried once i got to know them, but made the mistake of becoming ''too cool'' with them and letting the friendship overlap the business or letting my guard down way too much... Ive been with regulars (regular being someone i was seeing over 2 years at the least) that i trusted and were with for a while and the trust was there and sometimes i would help them out with advances to help them when times were tough because i sympethised with their situation, but then they moved without notice after getting the cash and i never recieved the service that was promised. blocked my phone calls, msn, yahoo, etc.

.. 8-)

yes I've been there for sure. It's really hard when you have been seeing someone regularly for a long time and they pull this crap. I don't know if we'll ever learn.

Annessa, don't pic on this guy for telling us about a trusted regular that screwed him over because he trusted her. It's more common than you think.

As I said before, regulars are extremely important in any business but you do need to keep you're guard up and even if you do you can get blindsided all of a sudden by someone you trust. There's no telling who's out there waiting to take advantage of you.

PJ

[Annessa 22743]

yes I've been there for sure. It's really hard when you have been seeing someone regularly for a long time and they pull this crap. I don't know if we'll ever learn.

Annessa, don't pic on this guy for telling us about a trusted regular that screwed him over because he trusted her. It's more common than you think.

As I said before, regulars are extremely important in any business but you do need to keep you're guard up and even if you do you can get blindsided all of a sudden by someone you trust. There's no telling who's out there waiting to take advantage of you.

PJ

 

I'm not picking on anybody...as I said before I just hope that his bad experience doesn't taint him from seeing a girl regularily again. I'm not saying his opinion is wrong, rather just putting it out there that it shouldnt be expected when starting a new SP relationship that you're going to get hosed, lol

 

I wont deny that there are girls out there who take advantage of clients...but I would emphasize that those gals are the exception...not the rule.

 

There are as many types of girls out there as there are working girls...and in any friendship, relationship, or SP-relation you may find a gold digger....I'm just saying that just as a guy who gets into a relationship and starts off by paying for everything...he may have a girl whos not interested in him, yet uses him. That doesnt mean that all women in a relationship with him after that point are all going to do the same.

 

Play wisely, learn when to say no, and keep it proffessional. One would argue when we're in the business of keeping someone company there can be grey areas. I dont think so, as long as the gal stays proffessional and the gent does the same. It shouldnt mean that you have to always have your guard up...how will you ever get the best out of your experience if thats the case?

[pjrd 324]

I'm not picking on anybody...as I said before I just hope that his bad experience doesn't taint him from seeing a girl regularily again. I'm not saying his opinion is wrong, rather just putting it out there that it shouldnt be expected when starting a new SP relationship that you're going to get hosed, lol

 

I wont deny that there are girls out there who take advantage of clients...but I would emphasize that those gals are the exception...not the rule.

 

There are as many types of girls out there as there are working girls...and in any friendship, relationship, or SP-relation you may find a gold digger....I'm just saying that just as a guy who gets into a relationship and starts off by paying for everything...he may have a girl whos not interested in him, yet uses him. That doesnt mean that all women in a relationship with him after that point are all going to do the same.

 

Play wisely, learn when to say no, and keep it proffessional. One would argue when we're in the business of keeping someone company there can be grey areas. I dont think so, as long as the gal stays proffessional and the gent does the same. It shouldnt mean that you have to always have your guard up...how will you ever get the best out of your experience if thats the case?

 

 

I suppose it was a poor choice of terms on my part.

There are a few wonderful women that I would call my regulars and just because I got ripped off by a favorite for several years doesn't mean I don't enjoy the others. I will just move on and be more careful that's all. That's what I meant by keeping my guard up. It's getting easier to say no I think.

[Royalfun 55449]

I'm not picking on anybody...as I said before I just hope that his bad experience doesn't taint him from seeing a girl regularily again. I'm not saying his opinion is wrong, rather just putting it out there that it shouldnt be expected when starting a new SP relationship that you're going to get hosed, lol

 

I wont deny that there are girls out there who take advantage of clients...but I would emphasize that those gals are the exception...not the rule.

 

There are as many types of girls out there as there are working girls...and in any friendship, relationship, or SP-relation you may find a gold digger....I'm just saying that just as a guy who gets into a relationship and starts off by paying for everything...he may have a girl whos not interested in him, yet uses him. That doesnt mean that all women in a relationship with him after that point are all going to do the same.

 

Play wisely, learn when to say no, and keep it proffessional. One would argue when we're in the business of keeping someone company there can be grey areas. I dont think so, as long as the gal stays proffessional and the gent does the same. It shouldnt mean that you have to always have your guard up...how will you ever get the best out of your experience if thats the case?

 

The key word here is "to keep it professionnal". And it means that the hobbiest has to be a wise customer and listen to whats happening into that specific relationship and to develop a healthy awareness that we should have for any relationship.

 

For me, to be with a SP is not only a matter of "having" a sexy beauty and put "that" on my wall as a trophy. I dont value a sexual experience without a minimum of a relationship.

 

My goal remains to have a "GFE" with the SP, but we both know that it's a temporary relationship that has it's limits. And it has to be kept that way. That doesnt mean that I cannot have a true and authentic relationship built on trust, sharing mutual interests and caring for eachother, on top of the sexual chemistry that takes a good part of the encounter. Au contraire, this gives a quality of the "GF experience", and both can benefit of it, but only for what it is.

 

I value a lot a continued relationship, and hope to become a "regular". When I find a SP where I feel that kind of experience is possible, I consider that as a gift. And for sure, I know then that my donations allow the Sp to live properly of their art, and for me to benefit of a wonderful experience.

 

That said, the mutual understanding has to be clear: the hobbiest meets a SP in the context of a professionnal service. What comes in my mind is the same kind of relationship we could have with a psychologist. We can develop a relationship of profound confidence and intimacy, but that relationship still remains a professional one ( and has to remain that way), where the client pays for the service within a specific timeframe and under some limitations into some area of the private life.

 

We have here on CERB many SPs that have that ethics; and I can see that some of them have contribute to this thread. Beautiful women, with high standards for their own lives, wanting to do their best with the services they offer. :bowdown:

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Well said Superlift. I like your full perspective on this and share your views. When you find the 'regular SP' and start to build that relationship within the context of the hobby it is pretty cool.

WC

The key word here is "to keep it professionnal".

[esoterica 624]

Regulars are important to me. It's one thing that I miss about not living in Ottawa any more.

 

I miss all of the ladies whom I had the pleasure of meeting - but especially, MichelleMA (whom I saw as regularly as I could - and still do, on those very rare occasions that I am in Ottawa), and EmmaAlexandra - who blew my mind and body in a way that I will never forget. One day, I will be in the same city as she is, and .......

 

(Emma A - I still have that special gift that you asked me to pick up for you on my travels. It's safely stowed away)

[big AL 350]

awhile back I had got in contact with an sp. I have used an sp only once, thus far in my life, but in the furture I will most defentaly be with her again. she will be my regular for sure. this way we both know each other well, and this will enhace are time together, to the fullest. the conection between the sp and I will keep growing and get better as times goes on....

[Jackie James 215]

I'm curious to hear from the SPs how valued regular clients are. In the traditional 'business world' many companies are seeing that it is greater value to retain existing clients than try and attract new ones. Does any of this apply to the hobby world? To what degree do SPs value and try and retain regulars?

 

From a client standpoint and speaking only for me I can say that I feel a huge loyalty to the SPs I've made a connection with in my short time exposed to this. I view it as a business relationship with huge personal/emotional/physical attributes and wonder if the value I place in those relationships is shared.

 

Guys feel free to chime in with your views on loyalty to a given lady.

 

Regular clients are not only an SP's bread and butter, they also become our trusted and treasured friends.

Once the connection is made, it's quite difficult to break.

[kingforday 97]

so my question is "when is it time to move on"? I am seeing a SP, has been for about a year and a half now do you get bored?:-(

and is anyone looking for a regular?

[Guest f***2f***]

so my question is "when is it time to move on"? I am seeing a SP, has been for about a year and a half now do you get bored?:-(

and is anyone looking for a regular?

 

It's time to move on when you no longer get a good experience from visiting her. I've been a regular of one particular gal for almost 2 years all together. It's like any relationship, business or personal, the reasons for repeat business are varied and sometimes complicated. In business and pleasure I spend my time and money where I'm well treated, respected and satisfied.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Regular clients make up for 50% of my business and my income. And when I say regulars, it could be those who see me every week, every 2 weeks or once a month. Then I have other clients that see me a few times a year. They are all important and I try to keep them happy and make the experience interesting every time I see them. It is always nice to be meet with someone you are already familiar with.

 

 

It's time to move on when you no longer get a good experience from visiting her. I've been a regular of one particular gal for almost 2 years all together. It's like any relationship, business or personal, the reasons for repeat business are varied and sometimes complicated. In business and pleasure I spend my time and money where I'm well treated, respected and satisfied.

 

Yes and I think this works both ways as well. Many clients like variery and often see many other ladies but they always come back. However, I have had experiences where I have been seeing clients for a long time and sometimes things can become mundane or other things happen ( good or bad) and I've decided to stop seeing them. I don't believe in meeting with someone when it becomes a chore or causes me anxiety.It shouldn't be that way so I won't put myself through that as it is also unfair to the client.

 

On rare ocassions, I've been blindsided by a few longtime regulars who have done things that were unacceptable where I ended it immediately and in another case I tried to overlook it but I no longer can and have decided to stop seeing them for good. The financial aspect of it doesn't matter either as my philosophy is I won't put myself in a situation where it will make me upset or uncomfortable for the sake of the almighty dollar. This business can be stressful at times so limiting this sort of thing is always in an SP's best interest.

[JoyfulC 132299]

so my question is "when is it time to move on"? I am seeing a SP, has been for about a year and a half now do you get bored?:-(

and is anyone looking for a regular?

 

Haha! I specialize in working with older guys, and many of my regulars are in their 60s, 70s, 80s and one I see once a year who will be 90 next time (... if there is a next time). It's not uncommon for it to be "'til death do us part" with my regulars.

[Chanel Reign 28097]

Regulars are now definitely my bread and butter. It only seems to get better the more times I see these ladies, gents and couples. There is always THAT understanding that this is a relationship based on sex and friendship. Thats all.

 

My favourite new clients are outcalls to hotels when they are in town on business. I love upscale hotels and enjoy the amenities they sometimes have to spice things up a bit. One can also be pleasantly surprised by the lengths some of these folks go to, to have the most enjoyable evening.

 

But like a bartender you sometimes engage in personal chit chat as clients relax and understand that I am, above all, discrete.

 

One gent sees only me as I am conveniently located and I satisfy his non-vanilla needs. He has no time nor inclination to see anyone else. I am very flattered by that. He is a Snowbird so I may be losing him for a while, but he has vaguely suggested that he might fly me down for a week and put me up in a hotel. We'll see.

 

I value my regulars very much and rarely see new clients. It happens of course, and my respect for them is as high as my regulars unless they prove otherwise.

 

Everyone is human, everyone is special and deserves to be treated as such in my opinion.

 

Just don't cross me. I have a backbone that can make you wish you never had genitals! ;)

[shaft 100]

I dont see it as money (keep in mind I still see it as BUSINESS...just to keep in line..) My regulars are what make my day in this business...My relief from the BS I have to deal with on a daily basis. Sadly I've lost a couple in the following months for different reasons or reasons unknown and it has definitely left me a tad depressed. It is a very big compliment to have someone want to see you again...and again for that matter.

 

Never hearing back from a regular is kind of like losing touch with an old friend...who you may feel akward by shooting off an email to asking how he's doing for fear of him thinking you were only contacting him for business means.

 

The ones who I see again and again are indeed outstretching their hand to build a solid client-SP relationship (not to be confused with an actual relationship) but it makes conversation easier, catching up fun, and more than often the big hug at the door after reuniting after a few weeks that much more enjoyable.

 

Money aside, The regulars are the ones that are the gems inbetween the rude customers and harsh phonecalls and degrading texts from would-be clients. They are the ones that at the end of the night, we walk to our cars with a smile on our faces.

 

To the "collector hobbiests" I have no quams with wanting to try everything once, but in the end I will say that finding the right person (or two) and becoming a regular of theirs is the biggest honour a girl can give you, and if shes appreciative, a great compliment should you be a gentleman to her for her business and are a noble client...repeat business will definitely earn you a girl's trust and have her earn your's....from that point on it's all YMMV

 

 

Well thought out and thanks for sharing. I think most of us guys like variety, but after being disappointed time and again the regular SP that takes a bit of time to connect with you and makes you feel like a man is the one I always remember, year after year.