Commenting on Posts -Why do some people do what they do?

[The General 11309]

I see many comments on posts that come across like the person posting was a buffoon, as if all the rules and common sense are straight-forward, and no one could possibly have posted something/somewhere what they did.

 

Recently there was a recommendation on a lady from Ottawa, but the poster saw her in another city. He posted both in the city he saw her, and her home city. People jumped on and question the poster why he did that....really... think about it.. and not just in this case.

 

If the lady works out of a home city, why wouldn't the home city people want to see a recommendation too, why does it have to be in the city that the person was seen. I think it is perfectly acceptable what was done.

 

My question is why do people feel that they should jump on things like that and come across as extremely critical? It isn't even consistent with the principals of the board of, if you haven't got something nice to say, don't say it at all.

 

What is everyone's views? I don't think these types of responses are very helpful for anyone.

[MightyPen 67414]

Well, in that case people were just trying to point out the poster's error and remind him of the board rules. (He saw an SP in city A; he posted two recommendations from the same visit, one in City A and one in her home city, B; the B recommendation, if posted at all, should have been put into an existing thread for her in City B.)

 

It began simply enough with one comment about the error, but then the thread kind of got on a roll because people were confused. I began to find it more funny than anything else. (I hope I helped push it firmly into "absurd".)

 

So I don't have a problem with simple corrective comments like the first one in that thread. But yeah (barring confusion as in that thread), once the problem is pointed out it's not really helpful for multiple people to pile on pointing out the same thing.

[The General 11309]

Yes, you would think one comment is enough. Isn't piling on a 15 yard penalty?

 

I looked through the rules, and to me it isn't clear that you have to post in the city you saw the SP. I agree that it should be added to the existing one in the home town, but don't think it is wrong to post in the home city.

 

It just seems that people think they know the rules, when they aren't clear. As if their interpretation is the only one. I don't always find the rules totally clear.

 

Well, in that case people were just trying to point out the poster's error and remind him of the board rules. (He saw an SP in city A; he posted two recommendations from the same visit, one in City A and one in her home city, B; the B recommendation, if posted at all, should have been put into an existing thread for her in City B.)

 

It began simply enough with one comment about the error, but then the thread kind of got on a roll because people were confused. I began to find it more funny than anything else. (I hope I helped push it firmly into "absurd".)

 

So I don't have a problem with simple corrective comments like the first one in that thread. But yeah (barring confusion as in that thread), once the problem is pointed out it's not really helpful for multiple people to pile on pointing out the same thing.

[roamingguy 300292]

Yes, you would think one comment is enough. Isn't piling on a 15 yard penalty?

 

I looked through the rules, and to me it isn't clear that you have to post in the city you saw the SP. I agree that it should be added to the existing one in the home town, but don't think it is wrong to post in the home city.

 

It just seems that people think they know the rules, when they aren't clear. As if their interpretation is the only one. I don't always find the rules totally clear.

 

Well I have to disagree that it isn't clear that you post recommendations in the city you saw the SP. The recommendation forums are organized by province/city which would lead one to reasonably conclude you post your recommendation of a lady in the city you saw that lady in. Otherwise why would it have been organized as such on CERB

Second, this wasn't the first recommendation this gentleman wrote. So he had to be familiar with how recommendations are to be posted on CERB

Third, perhaps go to the rules

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_rules

GENERAL - MOST IMPORTANT TO READ RULE Some things are NOT in the rules as they are too OBVIOUS for the need to have to SPELL OUT but still some people will say "That is not in the rules" and expect to get away with doing something they know is WRONG.

 

If you are disrupting the site, being annoying, abusing the site, spamming the site or in general being rude or unpleasant to anyone you will not be welcome. It's very simple. Please read ALL the rules before posting.

Maybe the rules on where to post recommendations is not explicitly spelled out because it is seen as too obvious. Especially when the recommendation forums are organized by province/city and the poster is experienced at writing recommendations

Anyhow, my two cents

 

RG

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Personally I think that moderating and tut-tutting should be left to the moderators. When its done member-to-member it just comes off wrong and creates a less than positive environment here on the board. For those that feel compelled there is always the option of a pm instead of public admonishments. Matter of class to me.

[The General 11309]

RG, this is my exact point. I don't think it is obvious, why one wouldn't post in the city of origin of the SP, so that if someone is searching for someone in her city of origin, that they can see a post of the lady, even though she was seen in another city.

 

The not adding to an existing recommendation aside, if you knew a lady came from a specific city, wouldn't you be happy to see any recommendation of her, regardless of whether she was seen elsewhere. And to solve the problem of which city, the poster posted in both locations, seems perfect, solves both dilemma. So, I think the logic is reasonable, yet others seem to think their way is the right way. I could support either view, rather than only see one side of the point.

 

 

 

 

 

Well I have to disagree that it isn't clear that you post recommendations in the city you saw the SP. The recommendation forums are organized by province/city which would lead one to reasonably conclude you post your recommendation of a lady in the city you saw that lady in. Otherwise why would it have been organized as such on CERB

Second, this wasn't the first recommendation this gentleman wrote. So he had to be familiar with how recommendations are to be posted on CERB

Third, perhaps go to the rules

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_rules

GENERAL - MOST IMPORTANT TO READ RULE Some things are NOT in the rules as they are too OBVIOUS for the need to have to SPELL OUT but still some people will say "That is not in the rules" and expect to get away with doing something they know is WRONG.

 

If you are disrupting the site, being annoying, abusing the site, spamming the site or in general being rude or unpleasant to anyone you will not be welcome. It's very simple. Please read ALL the rules before posting.

Maybe the rules on where to post recommendations is not explicitly spelled out because it is seen as too obvious. Especially when the recommendation forums are organized by province/city and the poster is experienced at writing recommendations

Anyhow, my two cents

 

RG

[conquistador 18487]

I think I started this whole thing lol...I was just pointing out that the reco should have been placed with the already created one... That was the whole point of my post (and it's in the rules)

 

I didn't care if he posted one in Newfoundland and Ottawa, just don't create one that's already been created... Redundant.

 

As for posting in multiple cities, no issue with that since maybe a gent won't see it in the Newfoundland section of the board. Also what if the SP hasn't had a reco yet in her home city and did a trip and received one there, this would only help her... So posting in multiple cities I think is a non issue.

 

But then it just kind of went from there....

 

Anyways, totally agree with outforfun and don't need the piling on... Doesn't help with anything.

[roamingguy 300292]

RG, this is my exact point. I don't think it is obvious, why one wouldn't post in the city of origin of the SP, so that if someone is searching for someone in her city of origin, that they can see a post of the lady, even though she was seen in another city.

 

The not adding to an existing recommendation aside, if you knew a lady came from a specific city, wouldn't you be happy to see any recommendation of her, regardless of whether she was seen elsewhere. And to solve the problem of which city, the poster posted in both locations, seems perfect, solves both dilemma. So, I think the logic is reasonable, yet others seem to think their way is the right way. I could support either view, rather than only see one side of the point.

 

I'll run a hypothetical on you then. There is one lady I see. She is well a regular. But she doesn't have a home town...well fairer way to phrase it, her home town is Canada, coast to coast

Every time I see her I have had GREAT encounters with her and I've written recommendations of our dates in the city I saw her. Now should I (and no I wouldn't) by the same logic not just post my recommendation of her in the city I saw her, but in every city she tours too. It's the same logic as yours except when applied to a touring lady who has no home town as such, the cities get multiplied even more.

That's because every city for her is her hometown

 

This is what CERB rules say

 

Some may think this is helping the SP. This is considered shill posting and against the rules

Can I advertise, help out or promote a lady here? If you are an agency then yes you can. You can only have ONE account but you can use that account to post ONE ad per day the shows who is available with your agency. All the same rules apply.

 

If you are a Customer and are "Helping" someone out (This is considered a SHILL post and is not allowed). When you post a recommendation and answer someones questions about a lady you must be a Customer and not have a connection with the lady that goes beyond the customer & sp standard arrangement. If you become friends with the lady and are posting to boost her business you are in fact SHILL posting and that is NOT permitted. If you are posting to "HELP" her out you are breaking the rules... if you are posting because you have a great time and wish to share this with other members you are welcome to post.

 

You CAN NOT post mutliple posts about the same lady and no one else!

This will appear as a SHILL and your probably doing it for other reasons but it will do MORE HARM THAN GOOD. So Don't do that please.

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_recarea

 

Posting the same recommendation more than once is not allowed and could come across as a shill posting. There is no grey area here. This is black and white in the rules. So if he wanted to post the recommendation in Ottawa then he shouldn't post in St John's forum as well.

One recommendation, one city. Not hard, especially for someone who has experience posting recommendations already

 

RG

[conquistador 18487]

i don't agree, RG, i def don't see it as a shill.

 

Yes he posted twice in the same day but far from shilling...the last thing i would class as.

 

He's not posting just on her and has posted on many other SPs and given them a reco.

 

See your interpretation is different than mine and others...the mods should decide.

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

I apologize if my comment came across as "classless", however I was merely clarifying as I was confused as to why it was posted in ottawa if he had seen her in NL? Once I figured it out, I edited my post to say "nevermind", as I didn't need to know anymore.

 

I do agree with RG however, and believe clients need to be careful as posting for a lady in more than one city when they've only seen her in one can be taken as a shill post, and end up doing harm to the lady, even if that wasn't the intention at all.

 

As for the comment about people searching for a lady in a particular city, do a search for her name. Then you can read her recommendations regardless of where they are posted. Just a suggestion!

 

Again, I apologize if I created an issue with my posting!

[roamingguy 300292]

i don't agree, RG, i def don't see it has a shill.

 

Yes he posted twice in the same day but far from shilling...the last thing i would class as.

 

He's not posting just on her and has posted on many other SPs and given them a reco.

 

See your interpretation is different than mine and others...the mods should decide.

 

I agree with you on one thing, if the rules on this aren't clear enough, you should PM the Mod and let him decide

Me, I'll write my recommendations the way I always have, one encounter recommended in the city's recommendation forum that I saw the lady in (I see a lady in Toronto, it gets reco'd in Toronto forum, if Ottawa, Ottawa's forum, and so on)...and not copied to other city's reco forums

Funny, recommendations have worked fine till this one particular case. If the rules that unclear, you'd think there would have been a problem before

now

You want the Mods to rule, feel free to PM them with your concerns

 

RG

[LeeRichards 177238]

The rules were broken, it was not a shill, and the Toronto Maple Leafs won't win the Stanley cup this year.

 

Lesson learned and life goes on.

 

Let's have a gin and tonic and enjoy the weekend or for the non drinkers a Shirley Temple or Mary Poppins or whatever you call that drink ;)

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

RG, this is my exact point. I don't think it is obvious, why one wouldn't post in the city of origin of the SP, so that if someone is searching for someone in her city of origin, that they can see a post of the lady, even though she was seen in another city.

 

The not adding to an existing recommendation aside, if you knew a lady came from a specific city, wouldn't you be happy to see any recommendation of her, regardless of whether she was seen elsewhere. And to solve the problem of which city, the poster posted in both locations, seems perfect, solves both dilemma. So, I think the logic is reasonable, yet others seem to think their way is the right way. I could support either view, rather than only see one side of the point.

 

There are many ways for ladies to provide information about themselves on Cerb, including reco links:

 

- Directly on our profile's main page

- In the "about me" tab of our profiles- there's a space called "Recommendation or URL of a page that is important to me here on cerb"

- In her ads

- Last but not least, on her website

 

I have recommendations in at least 6 cities on Cerb and my gentlemen have no issues clicking on the links I provide them with to learn more about me. Plus, they can easily search my name on Cerb to find out even more so I do not think double posting recommendations is necessary at all.

 

In the end, it's not a gentleman's responsibility to promote the ladies. It's up to the ladies to do that...

[conquistador 18487]

that's the thing, i don't have any problems with what he's done, except for posting a new reco in a section that already had an established one.

 

Everything else i'm fine with.

 

I do the same as you, post in the city i've seen the SP, but i don't think he's broken any rules.

 

if you think he has broken a rule then you should bring to the attention of the mods and let them decide.

 

i have no concerns here.

 

I agree with you on one thing, if the rules on this aren't clear enough, you should PM the Mod and let him decide

Me, I'll write my recommendations the way I always have, one encounter recommended in the city's recommendation forum that I saw the lady in (I see a lady in Toronto, it gets reco'd in Toronto forum, if Ottawa, Ottawa's forum, and so on)...and not copied to other city's reco forums

Funny, recommendations have worked fine till this one particular case. If the rules that unclear, you'd think there would have been a problem before

now

You want the Mods to rule, feel free to PM them with your concerns

 

RG

[The General 11309]

Thanks Gabrielle.

 

I don't think it is absolutely necessary to have posted in multiple cities, but I don't think it is wrong either.

 

And it is a fine line about whether guys are providing some support in promoting you or whether you have to do it yourself. If you have no recommendations anywhere, you wouldn't have any link to provide, so recommendation do provide the vehicle for ladies to promote themselves.

 

For me, I might use several search tools, but one is to look for the lady in the city I think I would see her, I don't always look in the other cities, nor use the global search tool.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Thanks GabriellA.

 

I don't think it is absolutely necessary to have posted in multiple cities, but I don't think it is wrong either.

 

And it is a fine line about whether guys are providing some support in promoting you or whether you have to do it yourself. If you have no recommendations anywhere, you wouldn't have any link to provide, so recommendation do provide the vehicle for ladies to promote themselves.

 

For me, I might use several search tools, but one is to look for the lady in the city I think I would see her, I don't always look in the other cities, nor use the global search tool.

 

Yes, I agree with you that written recommendations are a positive tool to help promote ourselves but my point was that it is not up to the gentlemen to double-triple-quadruple post recommendations in different cities to help "promote/expose" the ladies.

 

I am also positive that when you are interested in spending time with a Cerb lady that you will at least visit her profile once or twice before seeing her. Accessible information can be found in more places than just the reco section itself aka her profile.

 

If you can't find anything, a single inquiry PM can also be sent...

 

As you already know, there are many ways a gentleman can find information about a specific lady and I don't personally believe that "spamming" the site, in multiple cities, with duplicate recos, that gentlemen will have an easier time finding information.

 

Where there's a will, there's a way ;)

[Jabba 18389]

I see many comments on posts that come across like the person posting was a buffoon, as if all the rules and common sense are straight-forward, and no one could possibly have posted something/somewhere what they did.

 

Recently there was a recommendation on a lady from Ottawa, but the poster saw her in another city. He posted both in the city he saw her, and her home city. People jumped on and question the poster why he did that....really... think about it.. and not just in this case.

 

If the lady works out of a home city, why wouldn't the home city people want to see a recommendation too, why does it have to be in the city that the person was seen. I think it is perfectly acceptable what was done.

 

My question is why do people feel that they should jump on things like that and come across as extremely critical? It isn't even consistent with the principals of the board of, if you haven't got something nice to say, don't say it at all.

 

What is everyone's views? I don't think these types of responses are very helpful for anyone.

 

It seems like everyone else has a handle on this post - but I'm not sure I understand what the heck is going on. Crap - I must be getting too old for my underwear. I'm confused about a clear hypothesis or direction. If anyone can help to assemble this puzzlement in my mind I will appreciate your jizz (just not in my face ok?).

 

OP- Can you expand a little about your thoughts?

[Brad 49548]

This thread does seem to be about two questions, and though I didn't see the post that spurred this one I would like to comment on the "piling on" idea.

 

It's actually a tricky issue, I think. There are times after all when it's somewhat appropriate for everyone to have their say, even if they're repeating what's already come before. Sometimes people say or ask something where it's useful to get a clear sense of the common opinion or etiquette. Or if someone suggests something truly inappropriate, having several people all come down reinforcing the same point can be a good thing to ensure a clear message is sent. Something like a poster who suggests it's OK to haggle a lady's rates, for instance.

 

However, other times it does seem like someone asks a question in good faith, or makes an innocent breach of etiquette, and the next thing you know multiple people are responding with the exact same points. I suspect I've even been guilty of this myself, so I don't say this as if I'm somehow above it all. I can even understand why it happens. This is a forum after all. People come to share their opinion, and it's simple human nature to want to add your voice to a discussion.

 

However, I can also see the problem when this goes too far. I can think of a couple threads where the OP would post again to say they had clearly got the message and had changed their mind and thanks for the info, and yet people still keep replaying with the same answer. Again, I get why, but I also get that the OP probably starts to feel bullied after a while (even though this isn't the intention of the other posters). The effect, unfortunately, is that a person becomes reluctant to post anything or ask questions. This doesn't make for a friendly, non-static forum.

 

For my part, I'll try better in the future to keep this in mind. Often it's worth adding your own words, to share a new point or view or clarify a previous one. But in some cases it's probably more friendly and sufficient to simply use the thanks/nomination buttons to add one's support to an idea and leave it at that.

 

Again, I say all this without accusation or reference to the other thread. Just some general thoughts.

[Ice4fun 78407]

Just wondering what recommendation posts are everyone referring too in this thread?? Is this in relations to the two recommendation posts I placed yesterday in the NL and Ottawa Areas??

 

Your clarification of this would be appreciated.

 

Thanks

[The General 11309]

Jabba,

 

The main point was that why people often have strong, mostly negative views when they think someone breached edict or rules, and why once someone raises a point, it is like everyone needs to chime in on the same point.

 

And the one post in particular (and this was a relatively minor one) was a recommendation on Beautiful Delilah that was posted in both the Ottawa (generally her home city) and NL (where she was seen). It is like everyone is the rules cop, and if you read the rules carefully, it was not unreasonable judgement that they could post in both places. That said, some thought otherwise, and even when presented a perspective and rationale why it might have been a reasonable to have posted in both placed and asked if it is a reasonable interpretation, refuse to respond. To me, it was pretty clear the rules were vague enough.

 

The result can be that it basically can scare someone away from posting again for fear of the repercussions. It happens with some frequency, and often even continues after the original poster apologizes, and accepts the points.

 

Anyways, time for me to move on from this post.

 

 

 

 

OP- Can you expand a little about your thoughts?

[Ice4fun 78407]

Wow...talk about taking a minor item and making a big issue out of it....

 

Yes I posted two recommendations for the same lady one in the NL section and one in the Ottawa section.... from my perspective I see nothing wrong with that but perhaps as some have said I should only post the recommendation in the city I saw the lady and that to do otherwise is against the rules if that is the case then I apologize and would encourage the Mod to remove the offending post with all due haste before the sensibilities of any other members are further disrupted.

 

A few days ago I decided to step back from being as active here on CERB I posted a message to this effect an cleaned out my profile and made it private however I did not say I would never post again I just explained I was going to be less active so when I had my meeting with the lady in question which were booked many weeks in advance I thought nothing of returning to CERB to make the post.

 

I decided to post the recommendation in both the NL and Ottawa areas because the lady in question does not normally tour and to my knowledge was not expected to return to NL. As I have said this may have been wrong but I honestly fail to see why it has attracted all this attention.

 

To make matters worse I did not attach my Ottawa recommendation to an existing thread for the lady so when this was brought to my attention I sent a PM to the Mod asking that it be moved and noted this in the recommendation thread. (I guess if I was a shill bringing my post directly to the attention of the Mod would be a pretty stupid thing to do)

 

Then to my horror it was brought to my attention that I had inadvertently indicated in the Ottawa thread that the lady provided services which she does not. I can only assume my clumsy fingers hit that item in the list in error. Once I was aware of this mistake I corrected it and posted a public apology to the lady for my error. (This by the way was the serious issue about this thread and the one thing I feel truly sorry about).

 

So as you can see the last couple of days have not been my finest and if there are members here who have nothing better to do than beat a dead horse then feel free to beat away. But might i suggest that an equally beneficial way in the future might be to speak directly to the original poster if you have a question or a concern rather than rant away..... but than again maybe that ranting is for your own personal agenda hidden in the disguise of a discussion of CERB rules.

 

Finally Thank You to the one friend who brought this ongoing issue to my attention.

 

Just My Opinion

[Andee 220524]

I personally have recos listed under Ottawa and Nova Scotia (Halifax). I put links to them in my ad. And if a lady has recos from multiple cities and is diligent in her advertising, she will do the same. Even though I am based in Ottawa, if I was to return to Halifax, I would expect a potential client might appreciate the fact that a client from that city posted a reco previously.

 

Reading this thread made me dizzy. I may be missing the point, but ladies often have recos in multiple cities. Why is it a big deal all of a sudden?

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

I will always post in my Home Area in regards to Recommendations.

[cinelli 22184]

Most guys I know are on other boards as well.

This is by far the tamest board I have ever seen. It is very different posting here than on other boards and sometimes people forget that. I do all the time.

If you think people here are rude you should go to some biker boards or political forums.

 

Edit...Re buffoons.

The 'biker' board I am on had a thread about a certain tool, very very expensive and desirable. The Op described it in great detail and mentioned that some bits are interchangable.

Very first response...'can the bits be changed with other bits?'

Then there's a volley of well deserved abuse and neg repping.

Same thing happens here. A poster will describe an encounter in detail. He mentions a lady is 5'6". Soon someone posts "how tall is she?"

This is pure laziness and buffonery. Not bothering to read a post completely and then asking questions that muddy up the thread. Some people want to be spoon fed all their information instead of spending a minute or two reading carefully.

I suppose it is similar to Sps getting asked redundant questions that are answered on their website or ad.

 

Sorry about the rant.

[piano8950 32577]

Well this thread has gone quite off topic.

 

1. I'm going to see if I get this right. OP has brought up an observation:

 

I see many comments on posts that come across like the person posting was a buffoon, as if all the rules and common sense are straight-forward, and no one could possibly have posted something/somewhere what they did.

 

 

2. Provides an example of said observation:

 

Recently there was a recommendation on a lady from Ottawa, but the poster saw her in another city. He posted both in the city he saw her, and her home city. People jumped on and question the poster why he did that....really... think about it.. and not just in this case.

 

 

3. Says something to try to explain his example further, I think may have caused confusion for those reading. (This particular issue isn't the point of the thread)

 

If the lady works out of a home city, why wouldn't the home city people want to see a recommendation too, why does it have to be in the city that the person was seen. I think it is perfectly acceptable what was done.

 

 

4. From what I gather, he was getting to this point

 

My question is why do people feel that they should jump on things like that and come across as extremely critical? It isn't even consistent with the principals of the board of, if you haven't got something nice to say, don't say it at all.

 

What is everyone's views? I don't think these types of responses are very helpful for anyone.

 

 

And to his specific question, or one of them: Why do people feel that they should jump on things like that...? Personally, I agree. I've noticed that on occasion, someone new will come up, ask a question that probably due to naivety (or some other reason) that is taboo.

 

I did this once when I was new. I posed a question on race and sex preferences (longer question in my thread history if you care to check). I know now that was a Cerb inappropriate question to ask, for a number of reasons. But fresh to Cerb me was clueless. Thankfully, as I was venturing into this world, the replies were short, and to the point, that it was inappropriate. And the thread died quickly. No multi-page thread of many many different members telling me the same thing, about how absurd the question even was, etc. (I did have an SP to quickly vouch for me which probably helped).

 

 

My point being is that what I imagine The General is getting to is that some times, I've noticed responses are needless and harsh. Someone has opened up a thread on negotiating for rates, instead of simply pointing the OP to a number of previous threads on the topic, some members seem to go on full rant mode. While Cerb is generally friendly and a better alternative to other forums of the same nature, I feel it's trending towards a more hostile environment towards newcomers for this reason.

 

Okay, I may have done a bit of a rant there.