A few questions about safe sex..

[WearAJimmy 101]

Hello all,

 

I don't really post much on here, but I've been a member for the past 3 years and check the forum regularly. Anyway, I wanted to see what the good people of CERB (SP's and hobbyists alike) thought about safe sex?

 

How important is it? Can you still have fun and be safe?

 

I have a particular question regarding DATY/DATO.. I love giving both, but some times I'm hesitant even though it's on the menu.. I've spoken to a number of HIV Specialists who say that cunnilingus is relatively low risk, but that doesn't mean you're 100% in the clear..

 

From my understanding, when it comes to oral sex.. The receiver (SP) is at less risk then the provider (Myself) .. The receiver is exposed to saliva, while the giver is exposed to vaginal fluids etc.. etc..

 

I would love to do this more often as I really enjoy it..

 

Any thoughts on this?

[WildRose 387]

If you are looking for a safer way to perform oral (DATY/DATO), try dental dams. They are a rectangular sheet of latex that works like a condom, acting as a barrier between you and the recipient. They are sometimes available in flavors, but can be tricky to find. One way to improvise is to take a regular latex condom, unroll it so it is fully extended, and cut of the tip. Then, cut straight up the side to make a rectangular "sheet". When using either a dental dam or the improvised version, simply drape the piece of latex over the area of choice, and let it lay naturally on the body. Stretching can cause stress on the latex and make it harder for your lucky lady to feel through the barrier. As with condoms, never reuse a dental dam and be careful not to turn it over. Hope this helps :)

[Annessa 22743]

From my understanding, when it comes to oral sex.. The receiver (SP) is at less risk then the provider (Myself) .. The receiver is exposed to saliva, while the giver is exposed to vaginal fluids etc.. etc

 

bodily fluids are bodily fluids..no one is at less risk than the other. also, as the receiver, we are not only exposed to saliva but exposed to open cuts (as minimal as flossing too hard, giving off bleeding gums or open cavities for infection) giving off any other fluids saliva may decide to bring along with it.

 

if you are concearned about risk, dont weigh who is more at risk to decide you answer...in the end, everyone is. The only thing that will make you feel better is taking every precaution (ie. dental dams/female condoms etc). being informed and taking the right steps (while getting tested often) is the only thing that will ease your conscience.....not the belief that either end has the raw end of the stick STI-wise of DATY

 

the reality is, both sides are equally vulnerable

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Daty (cunnilingus) carries a theoretical risk of HIV transmission. That means unlike BBBJ, theoretically a transmission of the virus is possible but no documented case has yet been reported and considering that this sex act is performed possibly millions of time every day around the world then it is my guess that it is more likely to be hit by lightening on a sunny day lol:). The risk of other serious sexually transmitted diseases like herpes however exists with daty and HepA with dato.

[Newton 714]

From my reading of online "experts" views, co-risk factors exist because people do other sex acts or things. If a blood-borne STI got passed along, it would be difficult to say it was because of the oral. I agree other things we do are of risk too, like driving to a sp's location.

 

 

Daty (cunnilingus) carries a theoretical risk of HIV transmission. That means unlike BBBJ, theoretically a transmission of the virus is possible and no documented case has yet been reported and considering that this sex act is performed possibly millions of time every day around the world then it is more likely to be hit with lightening on a sunny day lol:). The risk of other serious sexually transmitted diseases like herpes however exists with daty.

Posted via Mobile Device

[PistolPete 61421]

I agree other things we do are of risk too, like driving to a sp's location.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

Now look out for that tree!:mrgreen: Keep your mind on the road:wink:

Agree 100% what you stated above.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Actually I was referring to those studies where the participants were engaged in Oral sex only and no other sex act during the period of investigation and therefore the stated co-risk factors did not exist.

 

http://www.avert.org/oral-sex.htm

 

Or among lesbians who engage in oral sex with another woman only

 

http://journals.lww.com/jaids/Abstract/1992/09000/No_Evidence_for_Female_to_Female_HIV_Transmission.1.aspx

 

And a number of similar studies which oral sex had been the only contributing factor.

 

It should be noted my comments on relative safety of cunnilingus was meant to be in the absence of external factors (in healthy individuals) such as bleeding gums or other sexually transmitted diseases where open or bleeding sores may exist. Neither would I opt for daty if the lady is in her period when blood may be present.

 

From my reading of online "experts" views, co-risk factors exist because people do other sex acts or things. If a blood-borne STI got passed along, it would be difficult to say it was because of the oral. I agree other things we do are of risk too, like driving to a sp's location.

 

 

 

Posted via Mobile Device

[Newton 714]

http://www.avert.org/oral-sex.htm

The first link says:

"..., according to a factsheet on oral sex produced by the CDC in 2000, there have been a few documented cases of transmission during oral sex. These have occurred in both receptive and active partners during fellatio, cunnilingus and anilingus."

 

http://journals.lww.com/jaids/Abstract/1992/09000/No_Evidence_for_Female_to_Female_HIV_Transmission.1.aspx

The Abstract in the second link is confusing. I'm not sure what it's trying to say.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Capital Hunter 18263]

The first link:

 

Please refer to the part which describes the two studies, where oral sex was the only contributing factor where NO HIV transmission via oral sex alone was reported (in the middle of the article under the title "What is the risk of HIV transmission via oral sex?". In particular the one study in San Francisco studied 198 people mainly bisexual people and the other one In June 2002, a study conducted amongst 135 HIV negative Spanish heterosexuals, who were in a sexual relationship with a person who was HIV positive, reported that over 19,000 instances of unprotected oral sex had not led to any cases of HIV transmission). The study that you specifically referred to, have since been called into question due to the reliability of the participants' data, as stated in the article.

 

 

The second link:

 

On the second one, the article is small so I can quote the related part as is:

 

" In this large population (960,000 lesbians), we identified no woman who was infected with HIV from sexual contact with another woman."

 

And cunnilingus and oral kissing are among sex acts I can think of, for above almost a million lesbian women lol!!!.

 

 

Before I decided to switch to escorts (from SCs) two years ago I did a comprehensive research on the risk of HIV transmission and oral sex (DFK, DATY and CBJ and BBBJ) and came across many similar articles like above which I can't remember the links and based on my studies, I decided to include DATY and DFK (I assessed them as within my acceptable level of risk) and exclude BBBJ (I assessed it as above my accepted level of risk) from my hobby. I also decided on OUTCALL only policy when I read on this board that it is the only legal way of hobbying (yes I am very cautious lol, so if I include daty in my hobby, it is likely very safe :-), but everyone has her or his own level of acceptable risk or percent safe, and mine is close to 100% safe level but not exactly 100% lol as nothing in life really is).

[mod 135639]

Abstinence is the only 100% way to avoid anything being passed. Plain and simple.

 

On the other side of the scale ... Unprotected anal sex is the highest risk.

 

Your risk level goes down with every precaution you take or higher risk activity you avoid.

 

Condoms are not 100% effective so risk is always present but most of the "Escorts" online here with us get themselves tested for STI/STD's regularly to prevent spreading any.

 

Keep in mind... The last thing a reputable escort wants is to contract a STD! If she was to spread a sti/std it could damage her business, it could also force her to take time off work or could make her business end if it was a incurable std/sti.

 

HIV is one of the lowest risks when talking about BBBJ/DATY other sti/std's can be passed this way however (Some that show no signs of infection).

 

Know your risks, always use quality condoms and get yourself tested regularly.

 

We don't really get drug addicted sex workers advertising online (They tend to spend the money on drugs not computers and advertising).

 

Unfortunately all "Sex Workers" are grouped together into one BIG stereotype making a lot of men scared of sex workers in general as the media often portrays sex workers as high risk for STI/STD's.

 

We have done polls here in the past with the members - look them up the results will ease your mind some if you have concerns.

[WearAJimmy 101]

Thanks a lot for the advice/information everybody. I tend to be a little too cautious when it comes to safe sex, and some times it does get in the way of pleasure.. But, I will check out that poll MOD, thanks.

[Royalfun 55449]

Abstinence is the only 100% way to avoid anything being passed. Plain and simple.

 

On the other side of the scale ... Unprotected anal sex is the highest risk.

 

Your risk level goes down with every precaution you take or higher risk activity you avoid.

 

Condoms are not 100% effective so risk is always present but most of the "Escorts" online here with us get themselves tested for STI/STD's regularly to prevent spreading any.

 

Keep in mind... The last thing a reputable escort wants is to contract a STD! If she was to spread a sti/std it could damage her business, it could also force her to take time off work or could make her business end if it was a incurable std/sti.

 

HIV is one of the lowest risks when talking about BBBJ/DATY other sti/std's can be passed this way however (Some that show no signs of infection).

 

Know your risks, always use quality condoms and get yourself tested regularly.

 

We don't really get drug addicted sex workers advertising online (They tend to spend the money on drugs not computers and advertising).

 

Unfortunately all "Sex Workers" are grouped together into one BIG stereotype making a lot of men scared of sex workers in general as the media often portrays sex workers as high risk for STI/STD's.

 

We have done polls here in the past with the members - look them up the results will ease your mind some if you have concerns.

 

 

Thanks Mod for this common sense reflection. In these matters, each of us, SPs and Hobbiest, have to keep in mind that it is in the interest of all to play it safe. And we remains responsible for what we do and how we do things; it's not only a question of having fun, but a question of life, relationship and respect.

 

Each time I read posts on CERB about these issues, I find that this community is meaningful.

[crankshaft25 125]

wow, interesting read. I am new here and have yet to pop my SP/MP cherry and this is one of the biggest fears I have. Mostly about HPV. Since my SO and I are both HPV free it'd be very awkward for me to explain if somehow I suddenly got an outbreak.

 

I very much want to sample what Ottawa has to offer but this does scare me and I know it's frowned upon to ask the ladies about this.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

wow, interesting read. I am new here and have yet to pop my SP/MP cherry and this is one of the biggest fears I have. Mostly about HPV. Since my SO and I are both HPV free it'd be very awkward for me to explain if somehow I suddenly got an outbreak.

 

I very much want to sample what Ottawa has to offer but this does scare me and I know it's frowned upon to ask the ladies about this.

 

The only way to be 100% careful is through monogamy. This is only my opinion and perhaps my point of view, but the ladies who advertise on a site as respectful as this and other sites such as EC are not looking for a quick money making sceme to get their next "fix". They are intelligent, self motivated, confident women who enjoy what they do and take their chosen profession seriously. They are routinely tested, take all the necessary precautions and want nothing more than to provide a safe and sensual experience for both you and themselves. I would love to hear of any statistics, in this age of technology, where reputable online ladies have cause any STD's within our great community!

[crankshaft25 125]

The only way to be 100% careful is through monogamy. This is only my opinion and perhaps my point of view, but the ladies who advertise on a site as respectful as this and other sites such as EC are not looking for a quick money making sceme to get their next "fix". They are intelligent, self motivated, confident women who enjoy what they do and take their chosen profession seriously. They are routinely tested, take all the necessary precautions and want nothing more than to provide a safe and sensual experience for both you and themselves. I would love to hear of any statistics, in this age of technology, where reputable online ladies have cause any STD's within our great community!

very well put and I want to say I didn't mean to imply that any of the ladies here caused anything of the sort :)

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

very well put and I want to say I didn't mean to imply that any of the ladies here caused anything of the sort :)

 

I know hun :) Just had to put in my 2cents :)

[roamingguy 300292]

The only way to be 100% careful is through monogamy. This is only my opinion and perhaps my point of view, but the ladies who advertise on a site as respectful as this and other sites such as EC are not looking for a quick money making sceme to get their next "fix". They are intelligent, self motivated, confident women who enjoy what they do and take their chosen profession seriously. They are routinely tested, take all the necessary precautions and want nothing more than to provide a safe and sensual experience for both you and themselves. I would love to hear of any statistics, in this age of technology, where reputable online ladies have cause any STD's within our great community!

 

In theory, yes, monogamy is the only 100% safe way

But, as I found out in my past relationships, and others found out in theirs, the only person you really know is yourself...in other words monogamy works only when both partners are monogamous.

Absolute safe sex, is by yourself...well the palm sisters are invited too.

That having been said, how many guys that are nervous about seeing an SP would have no qualms about going to a bar or club, and pick up a woman who they never met before and whose inhibitions are lowered from drinking

Just some thoughts for discussion

RG

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

In theory, yes, monogamy is the only 100% safe way

But, as I found out in my past relationships, and others found out in theirs, the only person you really know is yourself...in other words monogamy works only when both partners are monogamous.

Absolute safe sex, is by yourself...well the palm sisters are invited too.

That having been said, how many guys that are nervous about seeing an SP would have no qualms about going to a bar or club, and pick up a woman who they never met before and whose inhibitions are lowered from drinking

Just some thoughts for discussion

RG

 

good point!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

If you're going to participate in this hobby, you know there risks as there are risks with anything we do in life. I could go out and get hit by a car right now. Knock on wood of course. That's a risk I take by crossing the street. If you do decide to participate, know that we are adults and it is consentual. You play by your rules, your boundaries and your limits. No one can tell you or force you otherwise.

 

However, if you feel guilty about participating or have an irrational fear and then think you "got" something even though you took all precautions and played within your limits that were very highly secure, please do not call up the SP you saw weeks ago telling her this. You know the risks and the rules and you still played anyways.

 

I can't tell you how many times customers have done this to SPs and how many times SPs have told me and myself as well. The onus is on YOU as a customer! Not just SPs. We are not forcing you to have a session with us. We don't know where you have been or who else you've been with who haven't been safe. Don't look at us like we are dirty and filthy because it is insulting and it is the risk we all take in this industry. And many of us SPs are educated on STDS more so than many hobbyists.

 

If you feel you have something, go to a doctor, not to us to give you a piece of mind. If an SP has an STD, she should not be escorting. Plain and simple. My assumption when men do this is that it's more likely guilt for playing in a playground they probably weren't prepared for or were worried about playing in but they decided to jump on the merry-go-round anyways. You took the ride and you can't blame anyone else for your own actions. Then again it is always easier to blame the other person especially an SP. Go see a doctor if you are that worried! Having said that, happy hobbying and play safe!

[roamingguy 300292]

The only safe sex is no sex, or masturbation (make sure you are wearing a condom and latex gloves though LOL) Reality is that everything in life carries a risk like Nicolette said. To live a 100% risk free life is in my opinion not living a life at all...yes take precautions to reduce risk. But a 100% risk free life (including safe sex), well that would really, if you carry it to extremes, mean living like the Boy In The Plastic Bubble, and having that bubble in a bomb shelter with no other people around...safe yes, but not much of a life

You are responsible for your own sexual health including testing. Now the only time a lady would get contacted by me in regards to STI/STD's is if I should test positive. I would, for the ladies I see sake, contact them to let them know so they can see their doctor. If you don't know who you've seen, that can be a problem. For me, I know the ladies I've seen and have their contact info since embarking on this lifestyle two years ago. Fortunately I haven't had to make such a contact.

A long winded rambling

RG