what would you do ladies may also comment

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

I hope no one takes this the wrong way as a vent or that I am being rude, because it is not my intention, I just have a question and a personal opinion regarding this thread that I needed to write.

 

First of all, I don't understand this topic at all, or the reason it was brought up.

This thread seems so unnecessary..But I'm not invalidating your right to post what happened to you..I just think a private discussion between you and the SP would have been more appropriate.

 

What I don't understand is HOW? How does a sponge just let loose? I mean its crammed WAY up there by the cervix, I wouldn't ever guess that Daty would dis-lodge it..

 

I am sorry about your experience, and I'm sorry for the SP to have gone through that as well. As someone mentioned already, for that to happen to not only you, but it happened to her as well, and she then is further degraded (or embarrassed) by taking a donation for her TIME, NOT a service she provides and leaving a sympathy tip? eek.. :(

 

Sorry if I seem mean, or rude, not my intention...maybe I am PMSing

 

P.S. Not an afterthought, but I thought I should clarify; I will always tell my gentleman friend about my situation when it arises. Most do not care and the ones that do know I offer (or an SP CAN offer) something else!

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

My thoughts,

 

I may catch some flak for this but I think if you are offering your time AND your body, it is only proper and professional to tell the client when your monthly appears and give him the respect of choosing what he wants to do. When you do not disclose this information, you are essentially taking away that person's choice and in this manner, their informed consent to sexual services.

 

That is not a risk I am willing to take with someone for the sake of a few bucks.

 

I do wish the OP would have kept in his post the part about taking the money back. Taking that out of the original post seems a little shady in my opinion.

[roamingguy 300292]

I do think informing the client ahead of time is fair, to let him know it is "that time of the month" He will respect you for letting him know and can make an informed decision as to whether postpone the date or have the date

And for some guys, well I'll speak for myself, an encounter is not about the sum total of sexual menu items to engage in in a set period of time. It is about connecting with a lady, especially if the lady is a regular. Maybe some sexual activities get restricted, but you can engage in some others. An evening of kissing, cuddling, snuggles can be very intimate and romantic and I've had pleasurable and memorable encounters that involved snuggles only with a special lady (btw that's just how our date unfolded, not saying she had to have it unfold that way)

Think of it this way. Well I like a GFE. JMO but the best GFE happens when you do your best to offer a BFE in return (in short be a gentleman)

Well how many guys here have/had girlfriends...were they physically able for sex 24/7 365 days or did their gf's have "that time of the month" too

So consider it just another dimension of a GFE (ok sorry about that one bad joke LOL)

If a lady lets a gentleman know ahead of time, he can make an informed decision. And the gentleman needs to understand "life happens"

And btw, don't always assume letting a guy know equals a cancelled date.

You may get a guy who likes you, wants to see you, and enjoys your company for more than the sum total of menu items offered.

Just my opinion that's all

A rambling

 

RG

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Imo, a true gentleman would not bring this onto a board but that's just me despite the fact that you didn't disclose her name. This is something that is a natural occurrence and what if she happened to just get her period at that moment? Would you still treat her the same way?

 

Yes, lots of woman use the sponge while on their period and most of us can't afford to take a week off. I am fortunate not to have long heavy periods anymore. More like 3 days now. Usually during this time I will feel not in good spirits anyways and take time off because I'm not in the mood.

 

However, I've used them and if inserted correctly no one can detect it or blood for that matter. The only way for it to be noticed would be through forceful, painful fingering to the extreme which I don't allow or if not inserted properly. Nothing usually gets past that sponge. Never once did I have this happen to this degree but I did start my period while with a client and I was never treated this way.

 

What happened for this to dislodge like that? If people want to think this is dishonesty then that's their opinion. Will I punish a guy because he just urinated and wants a bj? No I wouldn't embarrass them like that. I would do what's necessary to make sure they are fresh.

 

It is your decision to either stay or leave and you have your opinion about menstural periods but I don't think there was a need for such dramatics. I think this could have been handled a lot better.

 

Did you ever think for one moment how she felt? The word humiliated comes to mind. Perhaps she has no choice but to work during this time and never intended for this to happen. Instead of solely thinking how you think she possibly tricked or betrayed you for cash, think about the other person for a moment.

 

This isn't just any unsatisfactory customer service complaint at a store, restuarant, etc. We're talking about a private intimate transaction between two people and it should be handled delicately. Not so much now.

[youngwithcash 131]

thanks for the story. I hope this dont happen to me.

[Guest]

In the end each escort is a mature adult and runs her business in the way they deem is best. It is up to each escort to make the decision on whether using sponges with or without telling clients works for them. However, an unsatisfied client *if* anything happens may be one of the risks of not informing the client first.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Periods, odor, hygiene... it's all part of sex. If you want to play you need to accept that sex can be messy as well as beautiful. I think most of us try to put our best food forward during an encounter and if something unpleasant happens, personally I don't mention it or I do so like a gentleman, fully cognizant that we all have feelings.

 

Straight observation? I think this could have been handled better. Since you chose to leave after getting naked and vulnerable, you should have at least left the cash. Taking the money is adding insult to injury.

 

I've screwed up in the past and will probably continue to so I'm not trying to humiliate you about this, but next time consider the other party and what they might be feeling.

[bcguy42 38594]

I do wish the OP would have kept in his post the part about taking the money back. Taking that out of the original post seems a little shady in my opinion.

 

The 4th post in this thread quoted the entire original post. So if someone has come to this discussion late and wonders what Jessica is talking about, go there.

 

On topic, my take is Life Happens. If you play at this for a long time, something like the OP's experience is bound to happen. Oh, and you'll get farted on mid-DATY.

 

Have a chuckle at the absurdity of life and move on.

 

And leave the donation.

[Amber Rose 19012]

Hi there, been on Cerb for a bit, but this is my first post. I'm throwing my two cents in here, since the situation that occured is not as the OP described(no, I'm not the one he is talking about).

 

While I wholeheartedly agree that you should inform the client when you are on your period, and allow them to decide whether or not to continue with the appointment. The girl in question was brand spanking new, scared out of her wits since she had never done any sort of escorting before, and to top it all off, she unexpectedly gets her period RIGHT when her client(the OP) is supposed to show up. When the OP found out about the sponge, he was angry, which is not an inappropraite response to have. What is inappropriate, however, is that he yelled at her, took all of the money back, and threw a few twenties in her face while he stormed out. This poor girl was unbelievably upset, especially since this was the first escorting experience she had ever had.

 

Yes, I do believe we should discuss this with the clients ahead of time, I think that's just being respectful to them; but it is not okay to take your money from her, after already spending a significant amount of time, and treating her in such a degrading manner.

 

All-in-all, had she been in the business for a bit, I'd absolutely say she should have known better, but the fact the it was her first day, AND first client, and she was treated so rudely, I'd say let's cut the girl some slack.

[cat 262460]

What I don't understand is HOW? How does a sponge just let loose? I mean its crammed WAY up there by the cervix, I wouldn't ever guess that Daty would dis-lodge it..

 

In my experience, the only way a sponge will dislodge is thru aggressive, deep fingering...

 

cat

[Ryan1967 1092]

...I for one, appreciate when clients post situations like this and their reaction to it as it allows me to see who they are...

 

cat

 

Useful for us hobbiests also...

[Gentleman11 10508]

I'm not trying to trivialize or overstate things here, but permit me to offer an analgous situation I had a few years ago. I met with an SP (non CERB) for a short notice redezvous for the first time. She apologized and said she had folishly got a significant sun burn on her stomach and said that certain positions and activities were going to be off limits and gave me the option of trying things out or rescheduling the appointment.

 

I very much appreciated her consideration, elected to continue with the appointment and making it a bit of a challenge to enjoy the situation and work with what we had. The "challenge" worked well aside from being rushed (I think she was new to the business). Having said that I appreciated her honesty.

 

The long and short of it is that as long as there is honestly between the SP and client about anything which could materially affect the rendezvous, it should be discussed beforehand IMHO anyways.

[fortunateone 156618]

 

All-in-all, had she been in the business for a bit, I'd absolutely say she should have known better, but the fact the it was her first day, AND first client, and she was treated so rudely, I'd say let's cut the girl some slack.

 

 

 

I think one of the first things she might want to enact is her body her rules. Just because a number of things are considered to be requirements in appts, doesn't mean that she has to do all of those things. In this situation, it would have been best to say no to digits. In many cases, men are too rough, and in some cases, women can get infections simply by offering that service.

 

It is easy to add services and activities to a more limited menu, but it is very difficult to remove them. If she had a few more restrictions, she would be able to allow those things for repeat clients or for new clients who are able to show they can be trusted to do them.

 

If you are working with her, showing her the ropes, so to speak, or on terms with her to talk about these things, this is good info for her to have. She doesn't have to do things that put her health or safety at risk just because all the cool kids are doing it, :)

 

The first thing new sps need to learn is how to say no. It is unfortunate that her first experience should have been such a scary one. But saying no is important

[roamingguy 300292]

Hi there, been on Cerb for a bit, but this is my first post. I'm throwing my two cents in here, since the situation that occured is not as the OP described(no, I'm not the one he is talking about).

 

While I wholeheartedly agree that you should inform the client when you are on your period, and allow them to decide whether or not to continue with the appointment. The girl in question was brand spanking new, scared out of her wits since she had never done any sort of escorting before, and to top it all off, she unexpectedly gets her period RIGHT when her client(the OP) is supposed to show up. When the OP found out about the sponge, he was angry, which is not an inappropraite response to have. What is inappropriate, however, is that he yelled at her, took all of the money back, and threw a few twenties in her face while he stormed out. This poor girl was unbelievably upset, especially since this was the first escorting experience she had ever had.

 

Yes, I do believe we should discuss this with the clients ahead of time, I think that's just being respectful to them; but it is not okay to take your money from her, after already spending a significant amount of time, and treating her in such a degrading manner.

 

All-in-all, had she been in the business for a bit, I'd absolutely say she should have known better, but the fact the it was her first day, AND first client, and she was treated so rudely, I'd say let's cut the girl some slack.

 

The girl should be cut A LOT of slack.

I know how terrifying, how much of a hurdle, seeing my first SP was. So I can only imagine how terrifying this first time must have been for the lady.

To compound her already existing fear with what happened, well it must have been horrible for her.

There have been ladies in my early days of this lifestyle who gave me tips and advice on how to be a good client, and in part that's why I'm the client I am today. Clients, especially experienced clients might want to consider when they see a lady new to this lifestyle doing the same. Respectful advice given to someone new from someone experienced is always appreciated. No one's first time is perfect. But now, the memory of her first time is a bad memory, a nightmare.

Someone is owed an apology here by the sounds of it, and it doesn't seem it's the OP that's owed one

Anyhow a rambling

 

RG

[rockyandbullwinkle 527]

To those that infer that the donation is for time and not service. Lets be realistic here, nobody wants to pay any of you guys to "hang out". The donation is for services, the use of the word time is simply a legal loop hole.

 

Also if you think that it is OK to let someone go down on you when you know that there is a possibility of blood and you don't tell them about it, that's deplorable. It isn't a reasonable risk, it's unsanitary and could easily lead to the spread of infections. At least let the poor guys know so they can make the choice themselves. I think 99% of guys would not choose to go down on one of you ladies if they knew you were on your rag, sponge or not.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Rockyandbullwinkle, the phrase "donation is for time" is not a legal loophole. It's SP's paraphrasing to numbskulls that "this is my body and Nothing is guaranteed here". SP's are not commodities. They are putting themselves in vulnerable situations with strangers. They have the right to control the outcomes.

 

As for the period starting during the session, yeah, she should have said something but as I said earlier, sex can get messy. You want greek? There could be issues. Daty, same thing. None of it excuses aggressive behavior from a man, ever!

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

I am not going to comment on the main issue at hand but I will address the following:

 

To those that infer that the donation is for time and not service. Lets be realistic here, nobody wants to pay any of you guys to "hang out". The donation is for services, the use of the word time is simply a legal loop hole.

 

Nobody wants to pay "any of us" just to "hang out"? lol

 

Actually, just so you know, and speaking from experience, the so-called legal loophole you are talking about is called GFE companionship which many ladies offer, myself included; many gentlemen like to partake in experiences that involve a whole lot more than just a list of acronyms with sex acts while spending time with a lady. Some even schedule social dates that don't even included any intimacy. Imagine that ;)

[Guest]

Rockyandbullwinkle, the phrase "donation is for time" is not a legal loophole. It's SP's paraphrasing to numbskulls that "this is my body and Nothing is guaranteed here". SP's are not commodities. They are putting themselves in vulnerable situations with strangers. They have the right to control the outcomes.

 

As for the period starting during the session, yeah, she should have said something but as I said earlier, sex can get messy. You want greek? There could be issues. Daty, same thing. None of it excuses aggressive behavior from a man, ever!

 

 

I agree 100%. I think the op should have been more respectful and should have worded this thread in a more diplomatic way. However, it has encouraged a conversation about this particular topic. It's just too bad that the focus had to be on this poor girl.

 

Usually if a man is not interested in going forward with an appointment the standard is to leave 40 to 60 dollars. I think maybe in this case the full donation was warranted since some services were rendered but that's my opinion. So what is the protocol for this situation, I think that was what the op was asking? Instead of focusing on how bad the op handled the situation, how about focusing on the right way of dealing with this situation.

 

I really feel bad for this girl and this is a nightmare first day situation. However, in my case, my focus is not on this girl but on the situation and the possibility that someone can avoid this type of situation. It's always good to read about how both sides feel about this.

 

I hope this girl is feeling better and isn't too shaken up about this.

[roamingguy 300292]

I am not going to comment on the main issue at hand but I will address the following:

 

 

 

Nobody wants to pay "any of us" just to "hang out"? lol

 

Actually, just so you know, and speaking from experience, the so-called legal loophole you are talking about is called GFE companionship which many ladies offer, myself included; many gentlemen like to partake in experiences that involve a whole lot more than just a list of acronyms with sex acts while spending time with a lady. Some even schedule social dates that don't even included any intimacy. Imagine that ;)

 

I can't count the number of breakfast, lunch and dinner encounters I have enjoyed since partaking on this lifestyle...although I do remember a honeymoon dinner with my virtual wife. Also more recently, and I'm still stuffed from it, a lovely dinner at a steakhouse with someone special. Where the best part of the dinner was the company. And the food so good and filling we shared desert and couldn't finish it.

Also having drinks at a bar with a lady.

Sometimes encounters unfolded with no conventional "menu" items per se, well except kissing, but turned into a snuggle only evening, and every bit as intimate and memorable as dates that were sex only

The most amazing part of the social date. Well I have no problem being seen in public with a companion. But these ladies see middle aged bald headed me and are happy to go out in public with me ;-)

Anyhow a rambling

 

RG

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

if they knew you were on your rag, sponge or not.

 

I haven't heard that term since grade 5 sex education. Except the school nurse called it the curse.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

OK well if the services were not offered and men were just purchasing time I'm afraid this entire online community would not exist...lets be honest.

 

If you're paying for a woman to go to lunch with you that's kind of depressing.

Yes, let's be honest: we're all here because we love sex and this community revolves around it BUT my point earlier was that for some people, it is not just about sex. This is where the GFE companionship comes in. Your comment about nobody wanting to pay "any of us" just to "hang out" is solely based on your own personal views and feelings and not in the least bit accurate.

 

Not to highjack this thread further, I will not even comment on the "depressing" part of a gentleman seeking companionship...

[Guest **cely***r***ne]

OK well if the services were not offered and men were just purchasing time I'm afraid this entire online community would not exist...lets be honest.

 

If you're paying for a woman to go to lunch with you that's kind of depressing.

 

Really? Lots of gentlemen take their companion to dinner because she is just as beautiful a person to be with in public as she is as an SP in bed...I found that statement rather offensive..

 

Hey, do some men get PMS too?

[roamingguy 300292]

Really? Lots of gentlemen take their companion to dinner because she is just as beautiful a person to be with in public as she is as an SP in bed...I found that statement rather offensive..

 

Hey, do some men get PMS too?

 

In my case yes the ladies are beautiful, both in public and private. That they want to be seen in public with ugly old me, well, an old (ok middle aged) man being seen with a young beautiful woman in public isn't depressing, isn't depressing at all. It's uplifting :-)

And men may not get PMS, but some of us have various forms of ED (some hit and miss)...never had a lady laugh at me because of it though, and had very many wonderful encounters irrespective

Ladies are far more than the sum total of menu items they provide. That some think that's all a lady is about, now that's depressing

 

RG

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

I think this is going off topic now. We all know it is both, companionship AND sexual services, that are the main reasons that escorts are sought after. Some enjoy a little more of one over the other, some only want one or the other but a professional in my opinion offers both in hopefully the most respectful and honest way possible.

 

I can not say what happened between the client and the lady. I was not there and while we have two sides, it is truly none of my business. I am not here to tell any companion how to run her business. I may give suggestions, but it is her business, her body.

 

I think that topics like this are helpful and if the lady in question is so new, then reading this may have helped her to know what she can and can not do while remaining professional in this industry but more importantly what she can say no to. No woman should feel they have to follow through with a date for any reason and sadly I fear some women just don't know that when they first start out.

 

Also, I think the OP has learned a value lesson on how to approach this with providers in the future. Gaining knowledge with intelligent conversation can never be a bad thing.

[piano8950 32577]

I've already said my piece, but I wanted to quote these because it echos my thoughts exactly.

 

I think this [thread] is going off topic now.

 

I So what is the protocol for this situation, I think that was what the op was asking? Instead of focusing on how bad the op handled the situation, how about focusing on the right way of dealing with this situation.

 

 

Okay, I lied, one last point. Reading what I have so far in this thread, I still don't know what I would have done in OP's situation. But as I said in a previous post, I appreciated when a lady cancelled because of her period. Nevertheless, I wouldn't have minded going forward, but with her disclosure, I'm sure we could have fun in other ways.