what would you do ladies may also comment

[kmwq 5477]

I'm in the same boat as piano, don't know what I would do but hope that I would react in the same manner that many if the ladies have treated me during our time together.

 

I'm a middle age man with a little guy that most can DT without gagging and not one lady has ever laugh, stare or snicker when they see me naked (can't say that my high-school buddies treated me with the same level of respect during shower time after gym class). On top of that, I've had some crazy shit happen such as loosing the erection between positions, having to run and urinate (yes, I gave junior a shower before returning), getting too excited and shooting prematurely and even a condom break. None of the ladies have ever lost it or overreacted, in fact they just went with it. For me, it was embarrassing when these things happened but got over it quickly because of the ladies' reaction.

 

As for the money, I will not take the money back without consent. As soon as I decide to stay, I've committed to taking up the agreed amount of time and that is what I need to pay for. Therefore the money belongs to the lady at that point and taking any of it back without consent is theft in my mind.

 

PS I added the words 'without consent' because shit happens and she may decided to offer money back. I still wouldn't take the money back unless it was a long multi hour session but cut short dramatically by her.

[Cute0aza0Button 21399]

I wasn't going to comment but I started thinking that SP might be reading this.

 

So, to that lady I just want to say this, I'm sorry. I don't know how you feel right now but I would be embarrassed and insulted - even more so now that this thread has taken hold. If it is any consolation, this is the exception. Most men on here are sweet and understanding and kind (as you may know), I'm sorry that this experience wasnt a positive one. Nobody should ever treat a person in such an insulting manner. If you ever need to talk please know that there are so many of us that want to listen and help whenever we can.

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

I've been an escort for 10years and had the misfortune to start my period twice during a session..I've been extremely embarrassed but those 2 people were extremely understanding..while I can understand some men not been comfortable meeting an escort during her period and using sponge I can't help myself to think of a reverse situation where I had guys coming to an app knowing they would request pegging and remotely didn't bother to clean himself and had shit all over(this situation happened far more often you would think)

A man walking in in my first years of escorting requesting rimming (which I no longer do because of this experience)going in shower to than me finding shit on his ass

Never I embarrassed them but each time I have been disgusted

Should I assume if it's only fair to notify the client of something that is happening monthly because we are women that men will notify me that I would be playing with shit..that I will taste pee when he expect a bbbj ...Walking in app knowingly know we will have intimate time?

Is it because I get compensate for my time that a notification isn't happening on my end?

If you feel it's only fair for you to know and decide I think it would be fair that same get disclose to me to help me decide if I want to book?

We are humans on both end and some mishap can happen on both ends

[Guest C*****tte]

This thread makes me wonder about what is the appropriate response for when a client leaves skid marks on our sheets. When this has happened I have not said anything because I do not feel it is my job to teach a grown man how to clean himself before an intimate encounter. I also am on my guard for fear of violence for 'embarrassing' him which has happened to a friend.

 

As for the sponge incident, like Cat mentioned, getting those things out requires MAJOR exertion and deep fingering while being in odd squatting positions. It sounds like it must have been a total freak incident for it to happen during oral sex.

 

Like the time I was pooped on my 3 pigeons in one week! (true but also me attempting to lighten up the mood)

[VedaSloan 119179]

How is this any different than a man doing DATY and the SP starting her period unexpectedly?

 

Would you react the same way? She didn't know her period was starting (not all women have regular periods, FYI). This has happened before and honestly, no big deal. Mature men recognize that this is a fact of life and don't get all worked up about it and storm out and short a provider the money she's owed. I get the hygiene aspect, I do, but are you seriously trying to tell me this is worse than the cheese dick I've experienced where I had to literally swallow my own vomit to keep going? Let's be real here. One is a hygiene crisis and one is simply a fact of life.

 

This seems to be an offense based on the fact that she didn't tell you she was ragging it. Sorry, none of your business. You're not owed a warning either. How an escort chooses to conduct her business is her business.

 

Not all women can afford to take up to a week off of work. And I've sponged it tons of times in my six years of working. I'm sorry this happened to you, but in the grand scheme of things it's an anomaly.

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

I'm in total agreement with the last few posters, but would like to offer another point of view. I use a sponge during appointments, not because I am on my period, but because I have an IUD (and it has stopped my periods) and have found that some guests do not respect my boundaries when it comes to digits (deep, forceful ones are really not that pleasant at all), or that I've found when a gentleman is well-endowed or in a really good position to hit my cervix (or using really deep digits), that sometimes that force can trigger some bleeding.

Also, vigorous digits, especially with someone who has not trimmed/filed their nails, can also cause tears in the vaginal tissue, which could also lead to bleeding. Just a thought.

 

Point being: I think this should have been a discussion between you and the lady in question, not something made public, whether you intend to name her or not. As someone who has used sponges, I agree with previous posters that they do not just "fall out" from oral sex alone -- when tucked away properly, they are very very difficult to find sometimes, and often require some contortionist efforts to remove them.

[Guest M*****le*****c-H***s (Reti]

what an ass cave

[Guest]

This thread makes me wonder about what is the appropriate response for when a client leaves skid marks on our sheets. When this has happened I have not said anything because I do not feel it is my job to teach a grown man how to clean himself before an intimate encounter. I also am on my guard for fear of violence for 'embarrassing' him which has happened to a friend.

)

 

I think that if the gentleman has a sickness that he can't help for example crones, he for sure should also give the lady he's seeing a heads up. There's sicknesses out there where accidents like this can happen and I would say that this could be embarrassing. That way the lady can make and informed opinion and so both parties can take preventive measures.

 

I have been advised in the past about potential "problems" and I can say I appreciated the heads up and "we" took precautionary measures when we went forward. For some it's a hygiene issue and if I feel that, I will not see them again. So if the client gives me a heads up and I understand what's going on, I won't misinterpret an accident for poor hygiene. However, one can usually tell the difference between a clean person who has an accident, between someone who doesn't bathe properly.

 

I think that with some activities for example"Greek" some people understand that a mess could be associated with participating in that activity. I have,however, had clients ask me how to properly prepare for this themselves and I didn't mind explaining the process to them. For others, they didn't understand that they needed to prepare for this activity. It is a persons due diligence to inform themselves but if they are new to trying something and just don't know the steps to prepare, this can be overlooked.

 

Someone said that they can make suggestions but ultimately, it is peoples choice to make their own decisions. I strongly agree with this statement but I hope some statements can provide insight to some people.

[Sensual Erin 33935]

I would like to express my sympathies as well for the provider that went through as a first encounter. I hope this has not discouraged her as it's a rare this happens. It's all uphill from here if it's any consolation. I'm not going to comment further on what should be disclosed to the client as it's been well discussed.

 

There's a crucial part to this situation that has bothered me that I am going to mention to protect ourselves financially. Once a client has decided to stay he no longer has access to the donation. It sounds like she was given a cancellation fee that is only acceptable if he left immediately. That was not the case.

 

It's a good idea to tuck the donation away in a safe place to protect ourselves from this kind of situation. It can be done discreetly after introductions. Unfortunately, it takes situations like this to learn from them and we should always be prepared. Especially when meeting someone for the first time.

[Luckyme 41401]

After reading this thread for the last few days, I think most if not all the folks here (myself included) feel sorry for the SP in question. I have a feeling that the OP probably realizes that he could have been over reacting with what he said he did by the fact that he went back and edited out that particular para.

 

When one encounters something unexpected like blood during a sex act, everyone could react differently including being shocked. I mentioned ( probably too hastily) in my earlier post (#7) that I was shocked too. But in actual fact, my cool head ;) prevailed in that I did not react hastily - I simply showed them ( the SPs) the stains. My experiences didn't involve sponge, by the way. The two ladies were actually more shocked and were very embarrassed. I comforted them, washed up and came back to continue the sessions (without certain activities obviously). I even posted recos to thank them for the overall very enjoyable sessions - without mentioning the incidents. My original donations stayed with them and I gave them a good tip as well.

 

Reading the whole thread, I would say I've learned many new things. If I could summarise, these will be

 

- many ladies have the need to work through their periods

- a sponge could be used to prevent the flow and allow them to continue working

- the consensus is that clients will like to be informed ahead of time

- the time of month could sometimes arrive unexpectedly..

- and when it does, it should be handled with compassion since this is more like an accident and it is a natural biological process

 

One last thing, to those who do not think we pay ladies to hang out, I am one of those who actually did and will continue to. I enjoy social times like going out for lunch, dinner, a stroll in the park, a bike ride and even skating and skiing.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Not stirring the pot but after all of these useful posts I would love to hear from the OP. There have been a ton of informational posts here and hopefully a lot of education :)

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

Tonight I had an experience that totally disgusted me and I got up dressed and walked out on the lady.

 

Things started of nicely little bbbj and then returned the favor while doing DATY I felt something touch my lip I moved back to find a bloody spunge slipping out of the ladies vagina. I got up asked if she was having her time she said yes but there is a spunge so its ok well NO the spounge is not in you.

 

I felt this to be gross to me if a lady is at the time of month either don't work or only offer service that does not include vaginal activities

 

I am going to limit my response to this very question and not address any of the other posts between the original post and mine. During the course of the many wonderful years I spent with my late wife i can recall many a time when biological events took place while we were being intimate which would include the very thing you were reportedly disgusted to have had to face (pardon the pun) and because I loved her and valued her so much we would simply laugh about it and she would excuse herself from our bed only to return with a huge grin on her face and would say "your cock is all mine!" Needless to say she would give me the ultimate BJ imaginable. Now, had I reacted like you by getting up and storming out of the bedroom to head to the living room and watch television on the couch I would have likely remained there right up until her death! Things like this do happen during the course of intimacy be they with your wife, girlfriend or a lovely provider who is doing her best for you in the way of care, cleanliness and attention and they need to be accepted with a certain degree of common sense, good judgement, compassion and empathy. The lady in question is someone to be treated with dignity, courtesy and respect and frankly that is the way I would treat her if I was in the same position. I see no difference in the level of intimacy between myself and an SP or between me and my late wife save the love involved. I do more often than not find myself falling in love with the ladies I am with even if it is just for an hour or two. Had this happened to me I would have been very understanding and would have simply accepted it for what it was Mother Nature doing what she does. I would have been happy to explore other options with her and would have told her it was all good because maybe the next time around I could experience performance anxiety and not be able stand at attention. In which case I know she would be understanding as most if not all SPs would be. Lastly, I would never and repeat never have posted what you did here or on any other forum nor would I have deprived her of the donation and her dignity. I can only speak for myself and from my own perspective as to what I would do and what I have done in the past. Empathy and dignity are both very important to me.

[Fresh start 17467]

I wasn't going to say anything cause I think the whole thing is an endless battle, with no end.(The whole provider should be upfront)

I also cannot image myself in a such situation and tell you truthfully how I would of felt and done. To many variables, until this thread I never heard of a sponge well not for that use.

 

I've spent a lot of time trying to change how I feel. To the point I would hate myself for feeling a certain way in certain personal situation. What I've learned and believe in is you cannot control how you feel, but you can control your reactions. I also think people should walk a mile in the other persons shoes before you react. This would make the world a more understanding place.

 

The gentleman felt grossed out. Irregardless if you think he should or shouldn't he still felt that way. He can't control that feeling only how he reacts to it. Which in this case I think he might of let his feeling cloud his judgement. Same for the provider she can't help feel whatever she is feeling.

 

To those that infer that the donation is for time and not service. Lets be realistic here, nobody wants to pay any of you guys to "hang out". The donation is for services, the use of the word time is simply a legal loop hole.

[/Quote]

 

Maybe I'm just a nobody, but I've had several encounter where there were no sexual activities. If I could afford it I would do a lot more too, cause it beats feeling completely alone sometimes.

[adamst 190]

Well there has been alot of criticism, judgement and jumping to conclusions here. Admittedly i have been part of the problem. As disturbing as most of this thread is, part of me is glad its here as i had no idea providers would continue to work, let alone offer vaginal services while menstruating. Its been enlightening to me to learn of the integrity (and lack there of it) of some providers.

I contacted a public health nurse and asked about sexual activity during menstruation. I was told this increases risk for BOTH partners. BOTH! Not only because of the chance of the presence of blood but the increase in bodily fluids. IMO the risks are high enough already in this business without needlessly increasing them.

Someone asked what should the protocol be. From a clients prospective i would not be comfortable with any vaginal services at this time. I would however be fine with companionship, erotic massage ect. My suggestion would be

1 - Dont work. Take some days off. Have fun, enjoy yourself, have a "me" day. Whatever you want to call it.

2 - Be upfront when someone calls to book an appointment. Maybe they are willing to take on the extra risk, or comfortable with a less intimate encounter, or reschedule.

3 - If for some reason you don't think you can do either of those, please restrict your menu.

As far as the question "what would you do". Thats hard to say for sure and i hope i never find out. Unlike the OP ive had some time to think about this. If i was thrown into a similar situation where i was meeting a sp for the first time, new nothing about her, she let me go down on her, with no heads up on what lies ahead and i found my mouth touching a bloody sponge, i would probably wash myself throughly, leave and never come back. I would have to wonder if she is trying to hide this, what else isn't she telling me? For all i know she might have just been diagnosed with HIV, mad at the world and out for revenge. If it was someone i knew and trusted or if she started her period as we were together thats a totally different scenario.

As far as the donation is concerned i wont even go there as i would never be so inconsiderate as to put a price on someones heath and well being.

The bottom line is use some common sense. I would never knowingly sacrifice the heath and safety of another human being and would expect the same in return.

I don't think thats to much to ask.

JMHO

[cat 262460]

I don't think thats to much to ask.

JMHO

 

If you actually thought it through, you would see that is a tremendous ask. If risk aversion is your goal, you don't perform unprotected daty I'm to assume? As we have had the oral sex "risk" discussion ad nauseum here and the resounding response from most hobbyists is that they will make their own decisions regarding safe oral sex all the while the actual weight of the risk is carried by the SP. Now the shoe is on the other foot the tone and response is decidedly different. With a bbbj, the risk is carried by the provider and I genuinely believe most who provide it only so so because of the negative financial impact if one doesn't offer it. We already share the most intimate parts of ourselves with our clients, now it's expected we disclose our menstrual cycles as well? Perhaps we should keep photos of our enemas discharges so greek freaks can be assured we prepared to their satisfaction?

 

This is why I have never offered a menu or consent to see clients who demand one. I agree to nothing in advance which leaves me with the option of guiding the session to ensure I only engage in activities I know to be safe with my guests. Not all ladies have that luxury with their client base. Given the feast and famine nature of the business, there are many who can't afford to lose 20-25% of her yearly income. I'd like to see what men would do if they had to take a 25% a year pay hit for a bodily function. Especially when it never coincides with the other things we have to take time off for; like being out of work for a urinary track infection or yeast infection. Which btw is also an almost monthly occurrence for many of us due to our work and we physically can't work thru it. Or any of the other things like the flu and cold epidemics we are exposed to daily that "real" jobs have paid, legislated sick days for which we are not entitled to.

 

The reality is that sex workers have been using sponges for as long as sex workers and sponges have been around. My stance on this is safe play saves. Until you know and trust someone, use barrier protection for all acts that may exchange body fluids. It isn't rocket science, just a piece of rubber and if you don't want to use one, then be prepared for the unexpected...

[Dorinda Bloom 44036]

When the money is given to the Provider it becomes Her money. When it is taken back after the fact it is considered stealing. Humiliated and robbed. Wow.

[Eva Laperle 7898]

@ Dorinda, I agree, it wasn't nice at all !

 

Hi guys,

 

I couldn't read this thread without adding my opinion.

First off, I'm sorry about this incident, it must have been really awkward for both parties. This being said, I think it's important to discuss such matters so people are better prepared to deal with this type of situation.

Personally, I do not like working during my period, I will most likely take off for few days....

The body needs to rest. For hygienic, health and physical reasons, I prefer to take some time off and rest when I have my periods.

 

This being said, I think it's perfectly fine for a lady to choose to continue her work during her period and I think it's perfectly fine for a gent to be told so he can choose whether or not he wants to see a lady on her period. It's her body and it's also his comfort. Whatever decision you make comes with consequences and you must be prepared to face them.

 

Also, let's face it, it does happen that we unexpectedly get our period right before or during an appointment, and guys please be understanding, there's no need to humiliate a lady & make her feel bad. I think there are mature ways to handle those situations.

For me, key words are transparency, honesty & consideration for others.

Let's be transparent, honest & considerate of others to avoid any awkward situation and this goes for both providers and gents !!!

 

Thank you

[Guest]

I think an honest approach can work for both escorts and clients. That way the person can clearly choose to go forward knowing what risks are and are not involved. Doing daty with and without a sponge has different risks involved. Yes, a client may want to use a dental dam during a "sponge" session and he may not want to without a sponge. There's many risks involved in this industry and preventing things from happening is part of our safeguard.

 

Anytime someone opts to do greek they should be prepared for any surprises. In this case asking for prof of preparation is outrageous. The client is usually aware of what can happen.

 

So how do we as escorts deal with clients who don't want to see escorts while they are using sponges? Do we disregards their wishes? I see most guys are fine and are saying that they just want to know. They are willing to pay full donation price with whatever services they choose.

 

How do clients deal with an escort if something was to happen, with the sponge? You have to remember in this type of situation if the escort is honest the client A) may choose not to go forward with the session B) choose to go forward with the session without some services C) go forward with all normal services or D) reschedule for a later date. I don't think that anyone should take the whole donation back but is it the ladies responsibility to rectify the problem at this point?

 

I agree that periods can come as a surprise. However, this is different than knowingly using sponges.

[Guest]

If you actually thought it through, you would see that is a tremendous ask. If risk aversion is your goal, you don't perform unprotected daty I'm to assume? As we have had the oral sex "risk" discussion ad nauseum here and the resounding response from most hobbyists is that they will make their own decisions regarding safe oral sex all the while the actual weight of the risk is carried by the SP. Now the shoe is on the other foot the tone and response is decidedly different. With a bbbj, the risk is carried by the provider and I genuinely believe most who provide it only so so because of the negative financial impact if one doesn't offer it. We already share the most intimate parts of ourselves with our clients, now it's expected we disclose our menstrual cycles as well? Perhaps we should keep photos of our enemas discharges so greek freaks can be assured we prepared to their satisfaction?

 

Also, one last point.

 

And this is why I asked on this poll, if some escorts felt pressured to provide bbbj's. Back when I posted this poll, bbbj threads were common and one of the most common rebuttals were, that escorts felt pressured to provide bbbj's. It wasn't uncommon to see bbbj threads back then often. At that time there was also a form dedicated for bbfs, that to me was rather scary. I myself never really felt pressured to provide bbbj's, until around the time I posted that thread, for various reasons. I tried cbj's and decided that I enjoy bbbj's better. I'm willing and fully aware of the risks of bbbj's, that's my choice. In the end with the pressures involved, it is still a choice for the escort to preform bbbj's or not. Having felt some pressure myself, having thought things through, making lists of pro's and con's, sifting through advice/information that resonated with me, I feel like providing bbbj's is not a forced decision. I truly hope that when people decide to do things, it's by their choice and their choice only. I have tried other things and decided not to go forward with said service or decided to offer that service to select people due to ymmv. In the end whatever choice people make, I hope they are happy with it and understand the consequences of their decision.

 

Maybe, the gentlemen should be provided with the proper information, so they can make an informed choice themselves. However, in the end, people will make the decision they feel, works best for them.

[cinelli 22184]

When it is taken back after the fact it is considered stealing

 

If someone is unhappy about something they bought at a store they sure don't grab money out of the till to compensate.

 

Additional Comments:

We are humans on both end and some mishap can happen on both ends

 

Too many guys think every encounter has to be perfect. But we all wear seatbelts, we all have house insurance, we accept things can go wrong in everyday life. Intimacy is no different, hey it wasn't perfect that time but you just carry on.

[Ryan1967 1092]

With all due respect Cat, I believe you are twisting the previous posters views out of context

 

...As we have had the oral sex "risk" discussion ad nauseum here and the resounding response from most hobbyists is that they will make their own decisions regarding safe oral sex all the while the actual weight of the risk is carried by the SP. Now the shoe is on the other foot the tone and response is decidedly different.

Agree the risks of performing daty have been discussed ad nauseam, but that was never in the context of performing daty while a woman was on her menstrual cycle, the poster is suggesting that disclosure would be helpful so there is consent to proceed knowing the additional risk. Without disclosure you have de facto removed to ability to have consent and have knowingly increased risk and I would be curious to see the evidence that shows that the SP bears all the risk when a man performs daty while she is menstruating, from what I have read, both parties have increased risk during this time. If a client had a condition that was known to increase risk of some activities, would you want him to disclose it? I get it that some would not disclose anyway, but ask yourself the question, would you want to know?

 

We already share the most intimate parts of ourselves with our clients, now it's expected we disclose our menstrual cycles as well?

 

The ask is only if you decided to work during this time, which is a choice, so no there is no blanket request that providers disclose their menstrual cycles.

 

Given the feast and famine nature of the business, there are many who can't afford to lose 20-25% of her yearly income. I'd like to see what men would do if they had to take a 25% a year pay hit for a bodily function. Especially when it never coincides with the other things we have to take time off for; like being out of work for a urinary track infection or yeast infection. Which btw is also an almost monthly occurrence for many of us due to our work and we physically can't work thru it. Or any of the other things like the flu and cold epidemics we are exposed to daily that "real" jobs have paid, legislated sick days for which we are not entitled to.

 

I have heard this argument before...but I don't see it as logical. I work a regular job, probably like many here, and in a 28 day cycle I have 8 days off, I don't get paid on those days, if you average out the stat holidays (which admittedly I do get paid for) I am not working 9 days in a 28 day cycle. I get the feast or famine nature of the business, and if the cycle falls during feast and there are bills to be paid then again I totally get that working is the only option, but the ask is to not imply consent but rather communicate openly and honestly. I would hope that most clients are reasonable and open to having the conversation. Hiding it under the guise of "my body my rules" simply raises the secrecy barrier between client and provider and incents the clients to do the same...which I don't think anyone really wants.

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

Well put and reflects the need for honest and open dialogue between SP and client. Your last sentence is most relevant and is the crux of the matter as best I can see or tell Peachy.

 

 

How do clients deal with an escort if something was to happen, with the sponge? You have to remember in this type of situation if the escort is honest the client A) may choose not to go forward with the session B) choose to go forward with the session without some services C) go forward with all normal services or D) reschedule for a later date. I don't think that anyone should take the whole donation back but is it the ladies responsibility to rectify the problem at this point?

 

I agree that periods can come as a surprise. However, this is different than knowingly using sponges.

[Guest]

Well put and reflects the need for honest and open dialogue between SP and client. Your last sentence is most relevant and is the crux of the matter as best I can see or tell Peachy.

Really, in the end, it is each escorts choice to do what they please. This is just my opinion on the matter.

 

I think that each person should make decisions that work best for them. With that being said, it's good to hear both sides opinion. Maybe some escorts will make a decision based on what the clients want and at the moment, that seems like honest communication.

 

However, it is not up to anyone to monitor or tell any other person how to run their business. In the slight chance that anything was to happen with a sponge, I do think the balls in the escorts court, IMO. However, it is still up to each escort to make business decisions that work for them/that they agree with.

 

I don't think that clients should take the money back or be aggressive though.

[cat 262460]

With all due respect Cat, I believe you are twisting the previous posters views out of context

 

I don't feel I'm twisting views out of context.

 

Agree the risks of performing daty have been discussed ad nauseam, but that was never in the context of performing daty while a woman was on her menstrual cycle, the poster is suggesting that disclosure would be helpful so there is consent to proceed knowing the additional risk. Without disclosure you have de facto removed to ability to have consent and have knowingly increased risk and I would be curious to see the evidence that shows that the SP bears all the risk when a man performs daty while she is menstruating, from what I have read, both parties have increased risk during this time. If a client had a condition that was known to increase risk of some activities, would you want him to disclose it? I get it that some would not disclose anyway, but ask yourself the question, would you want to know?

 

I agree that disclosure is optimal or at least modification of services necessary. Ftr, in my entire career, I have never had a client disclose a contagious condition. I have refused service to dozens tho when there were visible symptoms and I use barrier protection on those that appear symptom free, always. I protect client health in because I have structured my business in a way that I can do so but I'm not naive enough to believe that everyone does and clients shouldn't either.

 

The ask is only if you decided to work during this time, which is a choice, so no there is no blanket request that providers disclose their menstrual cycles.

 

So, to expect disclosure if you are menstruating isn't a blanket request ... unless you are working? That seems blanket to me.

 

I have heard this argument before...but I don't see it as logical. I work a regular job, probably like many here, and in a 28 day cycle I have 8 days off, I don't get paid on those days, if you average out the stat holidays (which admittedly I do get paid for) I am not working 9 days in a 28 day cycle. I get the feast or famine nature of the business, and if the cycle falls during feast and there are bills to be paid then again I totally get that working is the only option, but the ask is to not imply consent but rather communicate openly and honestly.

 

If a provider is working during her period, then the chance of her undermining a potential appointment by disclosure is to be questioned. If she could take the hit financially, she wouldn't be working. In a unicorn and fairytale world it would be standard policy to disclose all health risks but we don't live in a world where happily every after is the norm. Common sense is needed and protecting ones self is a personal responsibility. Utilizing the options we have like using a dental dam or waiting to engage in the exchange of bodily fluids until there is trust is common sense to me. Assuming someone else is going to protect you is simply nonsense.

 

I would hope that most clients are reasonable and open to having the conversation.

 

New clients are seldom reasonable about seeing a woman during her cycle especially Baskin Robbins hobbyists who are fickle by nature. The men that refuse to plan ahead, those that want to see someone in an hour or that day will simply call the next number on the list when faced with the option so the provider misses what may be her only potential appointment for the day. So for the provider who is working thru her cycle, it's a usually a difficult situation. A regular will be more likely to get the full disclosure. She knows him and trusts that he will either allow for a service modification or come see her when she's done. The bottom line is that if a provider wants to maintain solvency, she will occasionally have to work thru her period and she will only disclose it if she is comfortable doing so from an emotional and financial point of view.

 

Hiding it under the guise of "my body my rules" simply raises the secrecy barrier between client and provider and incents the clients to do the same...which I don't think anyone really wants.

 

I don't feel this is about secrecy, it's just common sense which so many seem to lack when it comes to taking responsibility for their actions. I'll say it again, knowing it sounds like I'm preaching but daty is an exchange of body fluids which means practicing safe sex with a stranger is key to ensure risk reduction. The problem is that clients balk at using a dental dam so if they insist on going at it unprotected, they need to be cognizant of the fact that women bleed and they may in fact be exposed.

 

No one can be responsible for anyone else's sexual health but their own...

 

cat

[Ryan1967 1092]

I don't feel this is about secrecy, it's just common sense which so many seem to lack when it comes to taking responsibility for their actions.

 

I won't comment on all of your reply since we appear to agree to disagree on most points, which is totally fine of course. But I think my point on secrecy is black and white, if a provider does not disclose her cycle and engages in vaginal activities...she is keeping it a secret, not sure how you can argue that. I agree with your preaching on the use of dental dams, but as I have been told on numerous occasions that I "most likely have had a session with an SP during her cycle", it has never been suggested "you should use a dental dam, I am having my cycle".

 

Agree that each party needs to manage their own risks and be responsible for their own health, which we all know can only be guaranteed by not participating in this industry. Informed clients and providers perform research and weigh the risks, they do that with the knowledge available, keeping some information from them skews the risk assessment process and yes...I see it as secretive, I think most would.