stevecurious 42059 Report post Posted April 11, 2010 This question was asked of me by a lady friend recently and I could not give her a single definitive answer. So I am wondering why do we hobby? Is it purely physical, is it a mental game where the "chase is better than the catch?" Is the reason we "hobby" to compensate for something we do not have in our personal lives such as excitement, anticipation or is it something as simple as physical gratification that is craved? I am curious what the members of this community believe the answer to this question is. I suspect there is not one single answer but a wide variety of beliefs and situations that will make the answer from person "A" different from that of person "B." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Newton 714 Report post Posted April 11, 2010 I think my answer is simple: I love sex, I love women. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bucken 1479 Report post Posted April 11, 2010 When I started (oh, not so long ago), it was for the new experiences/sensations and to see 'what was missing', if that makes any sense... Now, it is for the connection/sensation that I experience with a certain lady. Guess I found what I was missing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
michael74raven 140 Report post Posted April 11, 2010 I am a newbie with 2 sessions to my credit (ty to the beautiful Megan). I have turned to this hobby, because i find it to be a more honest, respectable way of enjoying pure, erotic, enjoyable sex without feelings of guilt and shame. And, I repeat what Newton said: I love sex...and I love women. I do have a s/o who does give out and I want to keep her cause I love her - but I need a little variety. So, I much prefer to visit a service / massage provider for pure, honest, erotic sex than put on a mask, be dishonest and find someone for a cheap tawdry one night stand and feel guilty for the next week. I hope this makes sense to you! Michael Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lowdark 5613 Report post Posted April 11, 2010 For whatever reasons, I have never has a serious SO and have turned to this hobby to provide companionship and connection. I don't get anything out of random, mechanical sexual encounters and have even regretted a few dates I've had since joining CERB (no one's fault but my own). Once I find someone I connect with, I stick with them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted April 12, 2010 Freud would love this thread!! And I've wondered about the possible theories on more than one occassion. But it's Sunday and i'll keep it light...cue the voice over Knowing you?re going get lucky sometime during a date.......$2-300.00 Having a girlfriend without having to deal with all the ?girl friend? stuff Getting naked with women you?d never ever get to meet in the real world Believing for an hour that you?re the most important person on earth?..Priceless!! For all other non-hobby expenses??.there?s Master Card :) Peace Mr Green 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted April 12, 2010 God made me this way. :bjs: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PoorGuy 1098 Report post Posted April 12, 2010 Pretty simple for me. I'm too poor to get into the dating game and I'm tired of using my right hand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GHT 798 Report post Posted April 12, 2010 I have an SO who I love and want to keep, so seeing escorts seems like a better choice than having an affair with some other woman. Its safer from the don't get caught point of view and I don't consider it cheating. Cheating to me is forming an emotional attachment with a woman rivaling your SO relationship. I have found that I need regular sex and intimacy to stay in a good mood (not getting enough at home). Escorts do that for me. I won't be needing any anti-depressant pills thank you very much. LOL GHT 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
acco34 1223 Report post Posted April 12, 2010 (edited) I have an SO who I love and want to keep, so seeing escorts seems like a better choice than having an affair with some other woman. Its safer from the don't get caught point of view and I don't consider it cheating. Cheating to me is forming an emotional attachment with a woman rivaling your SO relationship. GHT Couldn't said it better myself. It is the same for me; I love my wife and don't want to do anything to loose her but there is something missing sexually, mainly due to her illness, and to have an affair means making an emotional connection for more then a few hours. I can honestly say that in almost 20 years of marriage I have never had an affair on my wife, although I came close a few times at the beginning till I started hobbing. I have been in this hobby for about 10 of those years now and have never even considered having an affair since. Some may not agree but that is the way I view it and it works for me. Edited April 12, 2010 by acco34 spelling Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mikeyboy 27133 Report post Posted April 12, 2010 Couldn't agree more acco34 and GHT. Far safer than an affair and somehow it doesn't seem as underhanded. I'm satisfying physical and emotional needs, without making false promises to someone else. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crunchyfrog 101 Report post Posted April 14, 2010 To re-iterate what others have said above: of course I love sex, and of course I love women. What the girl is selling me is a fantasy - the fantasy that she could be mine. Of course in the end I can't have her, but for an hour she's willing to pretend I can. Personally I believe this is a rather harmless fantasy, and it is one that can be safely enjoyed in a way that hurts neither party's feelings. -cf Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antlerman 17064 Report post Posted April 14, 2010 for me it is variety..........change.......simple as that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smitty_McFlung 290 Report post Posted April 14, 2010 I agree with all of what everyone has said, I love my s/o, however i really love that i can spend an hour with an absolutely gorgeous woman and be pampered, lay back and enjoy the scene, i get to pick the body type, clothing (mostly) and whatever i want, i don't have to work at it, also the boost of confidance i get, makes it all worth it, i agree with a previous post, aout i don't think its cheating either, i am paying for a service to make myself feel better about myself, not sure if this makes sense or not but my 2 cents! Shawn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sexnonstop724 1727 Report post Posted April 14, 2010 We are animals by nature. The primal instinct to mate with as many partners as possible is in our genes. We visually select what we see as desirable features, big boobs, small boobs, nice toned round booties, tall, short, well rounded, long legs, red hair, blonde etc. We are just exercising these primal instincts. Lucky for us, we also developed an appreciation for sex beyond our primal Instincts. And that where the fun begins!! BTW, my hands needed a break from time to time. SNS724 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Athos 108589 Report post Posted April 14, 2010 I have found that I need regular sex and intimacy to stay in a good mood (not getting enough at home). Escorts do that for me. I won't be needing any anti-depressant pills thank you very much. LOL GHT I love that ... hobbying as a way to mental health and saving health care dollars. I think everyone has different reasons for hobbying ... but I think that trying to find a degree of intimacy, even at a fantasy level, is something that many of us are looking for. Like several others that posted, I tend to look for one or two quality service providers whose company I enjoy, and stick with them. Seeing lots of girls looking for that elusive gem is not my idea of a good time. But that's me ... for others that is part of the excitement of the whole thing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonnerb06 100 Report post Posted April 14, 2010 Yes I definately agree with this too. I also have an SO who I love dearly. But I love women and I love sex and have always had and continue to have a very high sex drive. For a long time into my relationship with my SO, even though I had deep emotional feelings and commitment to her, I was drawn physically to others and constantly tormented with these urges. I resisted and resisted but knew it was only a matter of time before I ended up with someone else sexually. But instead I finally made the move to SP's and it has worked out great. I don't feel like I am cheating, and the urge to cheat has gone. The SPs provide me with something I feel I need and I am able to stay in an emotionally healthy relationship. Thanks SP's!!! :) This is a very interesting thread - thanks for starting!! I have an SO who I love and want to keep, so seeing escorts seems like a better choice than having an affair with some other woman. Its safer from the don't get caught point of view and I don't consider it cheating. Cheating to me is forming an emotional attachment with a woman rivaling your SO relationship. I have found that I need regular sex and intimacy to stay in a good mood (not getting enough at home). Escorts do that for me. I won't be needing any anti-depressant pills thank you very much. LOL GHT Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mister C 1725 Report post Posted April 14, 2010 I work too much and don't have the time to get out and meet people. My hours and days off are always changing so it's the best way for me to go. Besides I can't be monogamous.:bddog: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fisforfuun 368 Report post Posted April 15, 2010 I am in a sexless marriage. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whatsup 11893 Report post Posted April 15, 2010 I have an SO who I love and want to keep, so seeing escorts seems like a better choice than having an affair with some other woman. Its safer from the don't get caught point of view and I don't consider it cheating. Cheating to me is forming an emotional attachment with a woman rivaling your SO relationship. I have found that I need regular sex and intimacy to stay in a good mood (not getting enough at home). Escorts do that for me. I won't be needing any anti-depressant pills thank you very much. LOL GHT I can certainly understand you wanting to keep your wife and even more so if there is offspring involved. Having an affair in my view is a high risk activity especially if it is ongoing, more so than seeing an SP. This is why I chose to hobby. Although I do feel that it is in fact cheating because you are fornicating with the SP which is an act of infidelity. I am not condemning anyone as I do understand. Couldn't agree more acco34 and GHT. Far safer than an affair and somehow it doesn't seem as underhanded. I'm satisfying physical and emotional needs, without making false promises to someone else. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mikeyboy 27133 Report post Posted April 15, 2010 I have a good friend who is a real player. He spends an incredible amount of time, energy and money trying to end up in bed with a beautiful girl at the end of the night. While he does better than most, my approach has a much better success rate, reqires less effort and likely costs the same or less at the end of the night. Who's the smarter one? ;) 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cato 160314 Report post Posted April 15, 2010 "Lots of sex with beautiful young women." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fixednbroken 814 Report post Posted April 19, 2010 well said re: evolutionary urges... here's my 2 cents... If real estate is about location, location, location, then sex for males is about variety, variety, variety.....anybody heard of Tiger Woods? If you're a billionaire and you have 15 girls on the go, what do you need next??...16, of course! Also, .... remember, Shania Twain and Sandra Bullock got cheated on...If any male thinks that those 2 goddesses of feminine perfection are not good enough without looking for more, than there's no hope for any of us!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
APower20 400 Report post Posted April 19, 2010 Because I want to get laid. ;-) Spend a ton of money in a bar, go home alone...or spend nearly the same amount of money (more or less) and be guaranteed that you'll be with someone for at least an hour of the night. Sure it's not the same as waking up next to someone for some morning horizontal tango, but it gets rid of blue balls and keeps me overly-enthusiastic about life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted April 19, 2010 My answer is simple, I love women...especially young hot ones! I just can't get enough of them. Hobbying makes the most sense for those like myself. Always have to feed the addiction! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites