a trend I've recently noticed... contact via PM

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

recently I've noticed a new trend... and it's becoming quite frequent. Enough that I thought it might be worth discussion.

 

I post in my ads that I prefer initial contact via email. However, I don't mind receiving private messages to book, especially if it's from someone I've previously met. It's discreet, convenient and works for those who might prefer no email or text trail. win/win :)

 

It also works well for the seasoned member who has a responsible posting history, who posts respectfully worded recos and is generally well mannered on the board. I can usually expect that member to provide all the required info I need for booking in the first few messages ... not always, but usually ;)

 

What I've noticed recently is different. I've been getting many PMs from members who either have been here for years and never posted, or have just joined and have a moderated account. When I ask that member for information to book ... such as a reference ... often they simply stop responding.

 

I've noticed some ladies don't accept private message from anyone they haven't previously met, and I'm sure in some cases this is the reason for that. I'd like to keep my PM box open to all those interested in reaching out, but I'm seriously considering otherwise.

 

Thanks for reading :)

[Guest]

I would use the cerb pming system if it had an automated auto-reply. I just don't have the time to send out six plus emails to explain what I need, for clients to not book. I explained how I feel here, here, and here.

 

So far my auto-reply system has worked really great. For the clients who want to see me, they read the auto-reply and send me the information I need. I get to efficiently respond to people. It has saved me a lot of time.

 

With that being said, I love to get pm's when it's greetings, to say hello, to ask questions (that are not on my website), ect, but not for setting up appointments.

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

I adhere to the instructions or preferences as stated by an SP in her ad or on her website...seems pretty easy to me!

[dread pirate roberts 4036]

I agree with Craig that the proper thing to do is whatever the SP has asked you to do, no question.

 

But that does lead me to a dilemma I've mused about occasionally (I hope this is still on-topic, not thread-hijacking). It's not uncommon to see SPs here (or elsewhere) say something to the effect of "no explicit talk". I get that, it seems sensible for a variety of reasons, among them that there are hobbyists who really only want to exploit the SPs time by engaging in explicit talk rather than really booking with her. So, yes, reasonable request.

 

On the other hand, it is not uncommon in threads to see a hobbyist ask "does anyone know an SP in my area who will [explicit blank]", and the advice which is always given to such hobbyists - again, reasonably - is "find an SP who interests you and then ask her whether she will [explicit blank]".

 

You see the dilemma: separately reasonable rules both of which can apply but lead to different results. What is the solution?

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

I agree with Craig that the proper thing to do is whatever the SP has asked you to do, no question.

 

But that does lead me to a dilemma I've mused about occasionally (I hope this is still on-topic, not thread-hijacking). It's not uncommon to see SPs here (or elsewhere) say something to the effect of "no explicit talk". I get that, it seems sensible for a variety of reasons, among them that there are hobbyists who really only want to exploit the SPs time by engaging in explicit talk rather than really booking with her. So, yes, reasonable request.

 

On the other hand, it is not uncommon in threads to see a hobbyist ask "does anyone know an SP in my area who will [explicit blank]", and the advice which is always given to such hobbyists - again, reasonably - is "find an SP who interests you and then ask her whether she will [explicit blank]".

 

You see the dilemma: separately reasonable rules both of which can apply but lead to different results. What is the solution?

 

I would rather someone ask for specific details ie bbbj / cbj, but I'm still not promising any service via email or phone without meeting you. I always tell gents services are dependent on their impeccable personal hygiene, and that can't be detected virtually. So really it's a moot point.

 

Shockingly, it's not difficult to tell the difference between someone calling for coaching through an orgasm vs inquiring about service details.

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

someone calling for coaching through an orgasm.

 

I think I know type you're talking about as I just passed him on the Queensway here in Ottawa. He had one hand on his cell phone and the other somewhere near his lap!! LOL

[dread pirate roberts 4036]

Shockingly, it's not difficult to tell the difference between someone calling for coaching through an orgasm vs inquiring about service details.

 

Ok, that's the funniest thing I have read today!

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

Ok, that's the funniest thing I have read today!

 

I thought so too!!

[Guest S****r]

I like the PM system on here, and use it all the time. I like that it notifies me that I have a message, via an email, so I don't have to keep logged in to know someone is trying to reach me. On the other hand, it is annoying to have to log on to answer. But I get that some guys don't want any incriminating emails in any of their email accounts.

 

In general, I find the gentlemen from cerb far more cooperative in screening etc than guys off some of the other sites.

 

Just my own experience

[Miss Jessica Lee 43328]

I like the PM system on here, and use it all the time. I like that it notifies me that I have a message, via an email, so I don't have to keep logged in to know someone is trying to reach me. On the other hand, it is annoying to have to log on to answer. But I get that some guys don't want any incriminating emails in any of their email accounts.

 

In general, I find the gentlemen from cerb far more cooperative in screening etc than guys off some of the other sites.

 

Just my own experience

 

Oh me too... but you're having that same experience with members with no posts and/or moderated accounts?

 

That makes me wonder if some are maybe old members revisiting the site. People who are new to these sites aren't usually as etiquette or board savvy IMO.

[Guest Lo***si*****e]

I think I know type you're talking about as I just passed him on the Queensway here in Ottawa. He had one hand on his cell phone and the other somewhere near his lap!! LOL

 

No doubt at least one of the phones was on the 'vibrate' setting! :)

[NotchJohnson 214123]

From experience, if I notice a lady on Cerb everyday or almost I will send her a PM otherwise I will follow her protocol on how she wants to book a meeting. I have also sent a PM to some ladies that I was in no rush in a response, some came back almost 6 month later.lol

 

Personally the best method is how the lady wants it done.

[Brad 49548]

I agree with Craig that the proper thing to do is whatever the SP has asked you to do, no question.

 

But that does lead me to a dilemma I've mused about occasionally (I hope this is still on-topic, not thread-hijacking). It's not uncommon to see SPs here (or elsewhere) say something to the effect of "no explicit talk". I get that, it seems sensible for a variety of reasons, among them that there are hobbyists who really only want to exploit the SPs time by engaging in explicit talk rather than really booking with her. So, yes, reasonable request.

 

On the other hand, it is not uncommon in threads to see a hobbyist ask "does anyone know an SP in my area who will [explicit blank]", and the advice which is always given to such hobbyists - again, reasonably - is "find an SP who interests you and then ask her whether she will [explicit blank]".

 

You see the dilemma: separately reasonable rules both of which can apply but lead to different results. What is the solution?

 

 

Interesting point Dread.

 

I'd suggest that a lot actually depends on the tone of the email.

 

It's probably one thing to mention to a lady that there's an activity you really enjoy and, though you understand YMMV and that they can't promise anything, you're curious if it's something you can potentially indulge in. It's another thing to declare "I love asses and can't wait to lick yours all day!!1!". I suspect the ladies that say no explicit talk are more talking to those inclined to the second kind of message.

 

If you wanted to be safe, you could also contact the lady, let her know you are interested, acknowledge that you've read she prefers no explicit talk but you are curious if she enjoys or provides a certain activity and would she mind if you made a request. By politely asking permission you've let her know you are earnest and respecting her rules and not just messaging to be crude or get off...and if she really wants no such talk at all it gives her a chance to say so.

 

I'd say that's probably the way to navigate these seemingly opposing rules.

[Guest]

Another reason why I have an auto-reply. I don't know if this is authentic to my experience but I deal with schedule hunters quite often.

Click here.

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

I agree with Craig that the proper thing to do is whatever the SP has asked you to do, no question.

 

But that does lead me to a dilemma I've mused about occasionally (I hope this is still on-topic, not thread-hijacking). It's not uncommon to see SPs here (or elsewhere) say something to the effect of "no explicit talk". I get that, it seems sensible for a variety of reasons, among them that there are hobbyists who really only want to exploit the SPs time by engaging in explicit talk rather than really booking with her. So, yes, reasonable request.

 

On the other hand, it is not uncommon in threads to see a hobbyist ask "does anyone know an SP in my area who will [explicit blank]", and the advice which is always given to such hobbyists - again, reasonably - is "find an SP who interests you and then ask her whether she will [explicit blank]".

 

You see the dilemma: separately reasonable rules both of which can apply but lead to different results. What is the solution?

 

 

For me, I don't want a contact email that says,

 

"Yo! so your down to fuck for $250. Cool. Does that mean I lick your ass too?"

 

However, since part of my screening will be finding out the likes and dislikes of my potiental lover, AFTER we have made with the pleasentries, we can get into some explicit converstation.

 

After all, I have to make sure my lover is going to preform all the naughty things I want to do and I don't think saying " I want to do :69::bddog::bjs::butt::cooter:" is the sexiest way to get the message across.

 

I would think this would come down to common sense, however clearly that is not the case. I do value those who would make such graphic first contact emails/PMs because it at least lets me know I do not have to waste me time with them.

[dread pirate roberts 4036]

I would think this would come down to common sense, however clearly that is not the case.

 

Perhaps I am hearing a critical tone where you do not intend one, in which case my apologies, but my common sense told me "do as the SP requests", and that "no explicit talk" means "no explicit talk", not "explicit talk later".

[Jasmine Rain 23126]

Perhaps I am hearing a critical tone where you do not intend one, in which case my apologies, but my common sense told me "do as the SP requests", and that "no explicit talk" means "no explicit talk", not "explicit talk later".

 

Yes, you were mistaken in your interruption of my post and I accept your apology.

 

Common sense to me would be the same. Common sense to me would be not to make first contact as I suggested.

 

For me personally however, AFTER first contact is made and I start to inquire into likes and dislikes, then it would be appropriate to continue the conversation with same tone and terminology that I introduce into the conversation.

 

I hope that has clarified things for you.