Chemistry versus mechanics

[Guest Lo***si*****e]

I don't know if I'm particularly unique on this site (I am a Newbie to the site after all) but I think by far the most important thing in any encounter, no matter how brief, is not a specific mechanical service or technique, but rather the basic human-to-human contact that a 'date' provides. If the chemistry is good on that level, then the mechanics of any encounter will naturally flow from that.

So I'm often taken back by the question, 'What services do you want?' To me the natural rhythm, the natural course of events is to first see if the basic contact, the chemistry, the electricty is good, and let things naturally develop from there in a mutual quest for exploration and fulfilment. When the focus is on that level, what happens mechanically will just happen, and what happens is sure to be good.

Is this some sort of ideal? It may be too much to ask that electrical sparks occur with every hookup. But I'm convinced that it is basic chemistry that will ensure repeat encounters and the evolution of a relationship, rather than concentrating solely on virtuoso techniques or performances with scant focus on the human-to-human contact.

Am I way off base?

What are your thoughts?

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

I hear what you are saying.

 

I ask for the simple reason I can't read the gents mind. Some are looking for something specific. If I don't know this, I might miss an important que. Some have no interest in daty for example - they want a prolonged BJ. So if I don't know this ahead of time, he might feel pressured to do daty even though he does not want to.

 

However there are those that tell you in the beginning they don't want full service, just a happy ending. However as things progress, it becomes obvious he wants the whole meal deal. So you go with that.

 

Chemistry is great when you have time to explore, but there are times that there is not enough time together to get to know each other, so you rely on what they are looking for.

 

Hope that helps.

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

For me chemistry is a major factor in what happens during an encounter and whether or not I will be a long-term client. Not being a wham-bam type of guy, "chemistry" is a good indicator as to how things will go. As I have mentioned previously in other posts/threads, I like to fall in love with her for an hour or two so there's nothing mechanical about it at all for me. If the chemistry isn't there then so be it but I still like to have a good time.

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

I am a firm believer in authenticity vs mechanics. I certainly enjoy "certain services", however I MUCH prefer to arrange a date and have things unfold organically. Usually the conversation, the laughter and closeness builds an intimate tension that spills over into erotic sensuality. But it's natural, not pre-planned.

 

Just my opinion (and not bad since I haven't had coffee yet lol)

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

Exactly my point as a client and it goes both ways as per your post...most lucid given the fact you are caffeine deprived at the moment! I'm on my second cup now. ;)

 

 

I am a firm believer in authenticity vs mechanics. I certainly enjoy "certain services", however I MUCH prefer to arrange a date and have things unfold organically. Usually the conversation, the laughter and closeness builds an intimate tension that spills over into erotic sensuality. But it's natural, not pre-planned.

 

Just my opinion (and not bad since I haven't had coffee yet lol)

[Guest]

When I'm providing my normal gfe service, I'm a go with the flow, chemistry girl. But, when I'm providing extra fetish, role play, or dom roles; I believe a little discussion is warranted. There's many different facets with these type of services and things I will and will not do; things that can make the service more authentic if a discussion happens. So, yes, for the most part the session is usually guided by the a natural rhythm and flow.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

Chemistry isn't guaranteed with everyone at least not on the level you see to me discussing. When it does, enjoy the heck out of it and keep on enjoying it.

 

My preference is that discussion on likes, needs and wants take place prior to the actual date so both parties have a feel for boundaries, desires etc. This allows more of a free flow during the actual date as there is knowledge involved that permits effortless action. This is not saying, as Miss Lane said, that should you change your mind from no FS to FS that there should be discussion, that should flow. However if you tell me beforehand that you don't enjoy having a BJ or being kisses then I'm definitely not going to free flow into those actions.

 

Like you, I find it rather disruptive to my energy when someone discusses some stuff prior and then during they bring up all the BIG restrictions or needs. This completely throws off the sensual energy for a bit especially if it's something I love and now have to avoid.

 

My focus is on creating the best person to person experience I can.

[mrgreen760 37785]

It's all chemistry for me, if I don't think we'll have it then there's no point going any further. So one word responses to inquiries and or no interest in having a bit of rapport won't cut it for me.

 

Peace

MG

[Guest S****r]

I prefer the chemistry, too, which is why my regulars end up paying less, so he can afford to meet regularly and we can let that intimacy develop along with the chemistry.

 

I would much rather see fewer guys regularly than see a stream of strangers.

[cinelli 22184]

Lots of guys do not want any chemistry, they like trying as many different Sps as they can.

Chemistry is not going to develop there and that's fine for them. They are excited by novelty, not chemistry.

I value chemistry above everything else but stick to one or two ladies.

[LeeRichards 177238]

Well now. Let's see. I failed chemistry in school and I am a heavy duty mechanic by trade. I used to work with bigger tools. Now I just tinker away with medium sized tools ;) hehe

 

Chemistry is huge to me. Makes it ever so enjoyable for both parties. and in my case I love repeat visits and to build on the chemistry and the fun fun fun results of good relationships :)

[Guest Lo***si*****e]

Great discussion. I'm appreciating the variety of views on this.

 

Additional Comments:

In the end, I guess I was just expressing my own proclivities: everyone's different, and everyone's into their own thing. Still, i can't help thinking that the 'mechanics only" crowd are missing out on so much.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

I don't think anyone is either mechanics or chemistry. It is really a combination of both. However there are times that chemistry wins out and it's amazing. Other times, no matter what, chemistry just isn't there and it's more mechanical. Thankfully the second doesn't happen often.

[Brad 49548]

Of course, given how a couple of the ladies here have talked in the past about their hitachi's, it seems sometimes people have great chemistry with their mechanical... :icon_wink:

 

I'd agree that discussing one's limits and preferences ahead of time doesn't have to make things mechanical. I'd actually think it could increase the odds of chemistry, since both parties are more likely to feel comfortable and confident having done so. People always point out that chemistry increases over time. Presumably that's because people start to get to know the other person better, including what works for them. Some discussion ahead of time can often help achieve the same thing to a degree.

 

I'd only add that prior conversation of such things does not mean an encounter is going to be precisely scripted. There's a difference between mentioning some activities you enjoy/don't enjoy, and laying out exactly what you want to take place, in what order, for what duration.

[cinelli 22184]

Still, i can't help thinking that the 'mechanics only" crowd are missing out on so much.

 

If they get what they want from the mechanics then they are not missing anything.

 

Guys do this for all kinds of reasons and you can't assume their motivations are the same as yours.

[LeeRichards 177238]

I don't think anyone is either mechanics or chemistry. It is really a combination of both. However there are times that chemistry wins out and it's amazing. Other times, no matter what, chemistry just isn't there and it's more mechanical. Thankfully the second doesn't happen often.

 

Although not often, I have done just dinner or appie dates. Clothes stay on. In that case it is strictly chemistry and personality to me. I enjoy fabulous company.

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

Further to my post, as it all depends upon one's circumstances as in my case I have only been with the same lady twice and on both occasions the chemistry was there. Also being an unattached widower I am able to experience some warm intimacy that I no longer have in my life so I am very grateful to have this opportunity. On my initial encounter with this provider I simply told her my story as we spoke at length not even getting into menus etc. and I said to her "you lead and I will follow." This worked out very well and she said that if she did anything that made me feel uncomfortable to let her know. The chemistry flowed and this initial experience with her was wonderful as was my second one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control and due to a recent injury (yesterday) I have not been able to see her or anyone else for that matter. I realize I am somewhat out of the norm here but that's my perspective on it all. Mechanics are not in the equation as far as I'm concerned but to each their own given their situation, needs etc. I am just me and that's it really.

[cinelli 22184]

I am somewhat out of the norm.

 

Don't worry about being out of the norm.

There is no norm, everyone is different.

The whole point of this business is accepting everyone as the individual that they are.

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

Well put...thanks kindly!

 

Don't worry about being out of the norm.

There is no norm, everyone is different.

The whole point of this business is accepting everyone as the individual that they are.

[FunValerie 8573]

I am with Peachy. It frequently depends on the style of date. Some people want things to flow. However, like Peachy, I offer fetishes. What I found is for some fetish and dom dates, some specific thing must happen for the client to be happy. Some people can be very specific in that they need to have ABC to happen.

 

Valerie

[Guest Cr**gCa***ng]

I do understand where both you and Peachy are coming from though and I respect that entirely. Thanks for that.

 

I am with Peachy. It frequently depends on the style of date. Some people want things to flow. However, like Peachy, I offer fetishes. What I found is for some fetish and dom dates, some specific thing must happen for the client to be happy. Some people can be very specific in that they need to have ABC to happen.

 

Valerie

[roamingguy 300292]

Just my opinion but chemistry (or connection or whatever term you like) is the most important quality in a SP/Client relationship. It is especially special when the SP/Client relationship develops between the lady and gentleman who see then each other regular basis.

Lets be honest, the mechanics, well sex, any two people can have sex. But what makes an encounter special, very special, is when you have sex with someone special, someone who you share a connection with. The mechanics as it is phrased are a compliment to the connection you have with the lady. But when there is chemistry, mechanics are no longer the reason for seeing her. You enjoy her company because of the chemistry.

A rambling

Hope it makes sense

 

RG

[someguy 67067]

I agree with RoamingGuy. Chemistry and connection is most important to me as well. Kissing and cuddling is important to me for the session as well. When there is chemistry, the kissing can get more passionate. I'm there for the touching and affection that sometimes develops over time with multiple visits. Where both you and the woman truly enjoy and look forward to being each other. Being able to share personal information openly when the comfort level has been reached after getting to each other more intimately. I've only had a handful of encounters where there was no chemistry and it was all mechanical and no emotions involved. It is a most fulfilling experience, no intimacy at all and no chatting. But I've been luck,and on the most part have had many enjoyable accounts and quite a few outstanding ones where I have kept repeating and in touch with many of the woman I have met. It's not all about the sex all the time.:)

[Winnipegcub 21293]

I'll add my vote to 'chemistry'. In fact I've had some amazing dates and often I'll repeat with ladies I think I've connected well with.

 

And for me the chemistry can start well before the date. CERB is great for that, in that I've met some ladies in other parts of the country that I'm absolutely crazy about. I love their posts, their ads, their style, their class, their smarts, and wit. In some cases we've had email, chat, text, twitter exchanges and that only builds the admiration and desire to see them. (I think these ladies know too)

 

I love building that kind of chemistry and this bear almost always gets his prey.

 

Hehe.

 

Cub

[cinelli 22184]

Chemistry is all that matters for me nowadays. I have been with plenty of gorgeous women who just did not have it.

But a very few other women gave me a thrill just from being in the same room.

 

Getting it on with someone you are totally nuts about is so good nothing else compares. You know what she likes, she knows what you like, why bother with anyone else?