Question to the Ladies: "How do you do it?" - line from "Chloe", the movie

[RobX 2084]

The idea for this question comes from the movie "Chloe". In the movie, Julianne Moore's character asks Amanda Seyfried, who played the escort in the move, "How do you do it". Amanda Seyfried's character answers: "I try to find something to love in every client I meet" (Note: Since I am quoting from memory the quote may not be quite exact, although I think I got it right because I found it to be the most memorable line from the movie).

 

I would like to put aside the somewhat condescending nature of the question asked in the movie, and opt for a more narrow interpretation. I would therefore like to ask the ladies of CERB: How are you able to bring yourself to provide your usual level of quality service to clients whom you find unattractive or downright repulsive?

 

Before ending this post I would like to relate a personal antidote to illustrate my perception of how difficult I believe it may be for an SP to service an unattractive client. On the surface this antidote may seem only peripherally relevant to my post. However, it's purpose is to provide an idea of my empathy for how an SP must feel when dealing with an unattractive client.

 

After graduating from university my first job was in the Toronto area. I had lived there for only a month and didn't know anyone in the city when I ran a 10K. After the race a quite average looking (plain Jane type) woman, 10 years older than myself, starting hitting on me and we ending up spending the day together. At the end of the day she asked me if I wanted to come back to her place to have sex, and I said no. I was a painfully shy person. At the time I did not have a girlfriend, I had not had sex for months, I did not know anyone in the city and was painfully lonely, I was acutely aware that she herself was also desperately lonely, because of her age I knew she was in her sexual peek and could have taught me a lot, and I felt bad for rejecting her. Yet, I said no to her because I felt zero attraction for her and could not be intimate with someone whom I had no attraction for. She was not repulsive in any way, just ordinary looking, but if felt repulsive to me to be intimate with someone for whom I felt no attraction, despite all the extenuating circumstances which I have just enumerated. The fact that I felt zero attraction for her trumped everything else. I have related this story to give you an idea of my interpretation of how repulsive it must feel to an SP to have to service an unattractive client.

 

Getting back to my question to the ladies of CERB: How are you able to bring yourself to provide your usual level of quality service to clients whom you find unattractive or downright repulsive? How are you able to deal with the psychological dissonance you must feel from having to service an unattractive or repulsive client? Do you have a specific philosophy or approach which helps you deal with these particular situations?

 

Thanks,

[cat 262460]

"How do you do it?" It's the question I have been asked most often about my work. People so often get caught up in the reality they see in front of them. Everything around us seems real, but in reality is truly an illusion. A persons physical body is not an accurate indication of who they are, it is simply the matter that houses the essence. We all have the same biological makeup, but some are more visually appealing than others. Does ones external appearance change the spirit inside? No, it doesn't. I see every person as a sexual being and I know intimacy is one of life's most neglected needs and is an integral part of maintaining personal wellness. I provide a service to people who are not having their needs met, and how they look on the outside is not a factor in choosing my guests. It is easy for me to enjoy someone who doesn't fit the society's current ideal because it's not the outside I'm interested in, its the inside. I know this sounds very Pollyanna, but it is true for me. Its the essence of people that hook me, not the appearances. I know better than to judge a book by the cover...

 

cat

[Guest S**a*Q]

When I think of clients that I've seen, I don't think that any of them have been repulsive...

 

I am not all about the outside, it's what's inside that I think attracts me to someone. I found out that is called pansexuality, where you're attracted to what's inside someone.

 

If someone makes me laugh, they are so much more attractive than someone who hasn't. Or someone who has something in common with me, we can converse a lot better than someone who's really hot, but we just stand there and stare at each other.

 

I also think that everyone has a story, I want to learn something from everyone and try to meet everyone that I possibly can. The more I understand people, the more I'll understand myself.

 

When I was a kid, I know I was the fat kid, who no one wanted... I was still a lover then, but no one knew that. I was a gem hidden away back then, I think that some of my clients are the same... When I get to talking, and I realize that I have more in common with them, that they have a sense of humor or we really connect, either in the bedroom and out... That's when I think they are attractive.

 

It's people in general, the differences we all have and my wanton to meet everyone in order to understand myself that keeps me doing what I do. I learn who I am and what my sexuality is by meeting and understanding others.

 

Oh yeah and I love to make out :P

[Ariane Valmont 332]

cat and Sara already answered very well. I also love the answer of Amanda Seyfried's character because I feel the same way. I would like to add this:

 

To this day, the only clients I found "downright repulsive" were either lacking good hygiene or sending a bad vibe (hard to explain that one but some guys just make you really uncomfortable). How do I do it when this happens? I freak out inside, try to look cool outside and just concentrate on what has to be done. If it becomes overwhelming, I put a stop to the encounter and refund part of the money. The few times I had to go through this, it had nothing to do with looks.

 

To be honest, it's a difficult experience for me. Thankfully, it rarely happens. If it was a regular thing, I would have quit being an escort a long time ago.

 

P.S. How was the movie Chloe? I'm really intrigued by it! Did you know that it's actually a remake from a French film?