PM's from people with no posts

[Guest a**m*s]

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

[Suzirider 737]

http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=16221

[hunknhot 1067]

and..

http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=25212

 

:)

[BownChickaBown 4829]

I find this no different than people asking about recommendations for ladies whom already have recommendations posted in the recommendations area of this recommendations board :S

 

Is it just me, or is this the same as going into a Baskin Robbins and asking them to name all 31 flavours listed on the wall? :shock:

 

Taking it to PM just adds to the annoyance of it all. As one SP said to me today: "How lazy it is of these people." I do not disagree.

[Annessa 22743]

I find this no different than people asking about recommendations for ladies whom already have recommendations posted in the recommendations area of this recommendations board :S

 

Is it just me, or is this the same as going into a Baskin Robbins and asking them to name all 31 flavours listed on the wall? :shock:

 

Taking it to PM just adds to the annoyance of it all. As one SP said to me today: "How lazy it is of these people." I do not disagree.

 

 

if they are asking for info as to the phone number, address or rates of a girl it is different than the recos section.....also if they are asking a gent about his experience with her, he really should be a gent and point them to her recommendations section or say 'ask her yourself"

 

As an Sp I have received messages from potential client saying :I was speaking to *so-and-so* and he gave me your number and said you were great"

 

Guys realize that when you speak to a member he may take your word and use it as a potential means to bulk up his reperatoire od "friends" who recommended you to a girl.

 

In cases like this I always say(once they start asking questions like they have no idea who I am or have not read my ad) that they might need to review my ad and research me....

 

some girls dont catch on to that and if they have a horrible or dangerous date with the fellow, instantly remember "oh this was *insert member he references before*'s friend....that not good. Guilty by association.

 

All this being said there are many things to loose by giving info to a guy who is too scared to ask the girl in question...including your own reputation...play safe boys! xoxo

[antlerman 17064]

It seems to me like any time I write a review I receive quite a few pm's asking for information from people with no (or 1 or 2) posts. Something about this has started to irk me and I've begun to not respond. I was wondering what the approach of others is?

 

 

I have one word.....

 

LURKERS!!!!

 

and most people know my feelings about lurkers........:fes:

[spud271 47779]

I usually don't say much to others about my experiences with the ladies on CERB. I don't mind writting up a recommendation, but how things go on the date for me may not be the same for someone else. I have received many PM's from new members on CERB asking for information, but I usually just delete them as my policy is not to give out any info to those I don't know.

[Emma Alexandra 123367]

I see many people that don't do reco's or hardly ever post...check to see how long they have been members for..if it's more then 2 months then i think they should be cool..everyone has to start somewhere...

kisses,

Emma A

[antlerman 17064]

Now I know there are alot of members that see the ladies.......and some are regulars to the ladies......

Those members hardly ever show up......

 

LURKERS are the ones who just ask....pop in and out of chat....and never help out the forum.....

[Guest a**m*s]

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[Guest W***ledi*Time]

.... some girls dont catch on to that and if they have a horrible or dangerous date with the fellow, instantly remember "oh this was *insert member he references before*'s friend....that not good. Guilty by association....

 

If you are saying that a lady might make the mistake of believing a guy who lies to her -- then the true basis of this danger does not arise from PMs (or in guys-talking-to-guys in any form). If some guy is going to falsely tell a lady that I can vouch for him, he needn't even ever have had anything to do with me at all, and I need not even be aware that he even exists. Such is the nature of lies.

 

First of all, any lady should be aware that no guy can ever really know how another guy is going to treat a lady, no matter how "good" the second guy may appear to be in civilian life.

 

Secondly, any lady who (notwithstanding the first point) decides she is going to put any weight whatsoever on one guy's reference in favour of another guy -- should at least be sensible enough to check the reference to make sure it was not an outright fabrication by the second guy.

 

Thirdly, any lady who is imprudent enough to decide that I am guilty of something by association, without having talked to me -- and bases this decision on the word of a guy she has just had a "horrible or dangerous date" with ... proves herself to be a lady that I am quite contented never to see again, anyway.

[antlerman 17064]

Just a note on how I have changed in my life here on CERB......

 

I used to jump all over people.....now.....

 

I politely tell them that as much as I would like to give them some info I am affraid that without some sort of referance or CERB input I can not herlp them till they help others.......

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I feel so lazy just nominating a post but yet when someone says it all....

[Annessa 22743]

WIT, I'm a little dissapointed in your response as I respect your comments but am in no way trying to start a fight here... yes it is a lesson to all girls to check up on the validity of a man's word and most of us do...and know about reference checks etc..I'm in no way saying all girls are naiive

 

what I said was: "some girls dont catch on to that and if they have a horrible or dangerous date with the fellow, instantly remember "oh this was *insert member he references before's friend....that not good. Guilty by association."

 

as one member said here every guy had to start somewhere and just the same so does every girl. THAT was the genre of people that I was referring to...not ALL girls or that this should be the ONLY reason why a gent shouldnt share his comments with another member....but ONE of them amongst the newer ladies

 

not the idea that the ladies would actually believe them....but the idea that some guy out there might be using your opinion (and in turn your rep) as a basis of trying to build his rep amongst a lady, It has happened to many of us and most of us say "yeah ok buddy" but what about the gals that dont based on the idea that someone they saw and trusted felt the meber that contacted them was trust-worthy enough to get inside info from their client?

 

it forms a strange sense of security as we all would hope that our clients wouldn't blurt out anything to anyone that was private about us....so some ladies *might* think "oh I know the guy who he was talking to, hes a sweetie and wouldnt divulge anything to just anyone so this guy must be in his good books"

 

When that sense of security turns ugly we sometimes wonder...be it your fault or not..."why did my client trust this idiot with so much info about me?"

 

....which is not cool. And that was my point. But I will say good advice on checking up on these so called friends of everyone....I know for one I dont take appointments from anyone who feels he has to go to someone else for info when they could go to me first.

 

And I would hope that no guy I've seen would never give any info that should remain private of our encounter to a guy who didnt have the ba*ls to contact me first unless he wants to be associated as trusting the character asking with that info.

 

 

 

If you are saying that a lady might make the mistake of believing a guy who lies to her -- then the true basis of this danger does not arise from PMs (or in guys-talking-to-guys in any form). If some guy is going to falsely tell a lady that I can vouch for him, he needn't even ever have had anything to do with me at all, and I need not even be aware that he even exists. Such is the nature of lies.

 

First of all, any lady should be aware that no guy can ever really know how another guy is going to treat a lady, no matter how "good" the second guy may appear to be in civilian life.

 

Secondly, any lady who (notwithstanding the first point) decides she is going to put any weight whatsoever on one guy's reference in favour of another guy -- should at least be sensible enough to check the reference to make sure it was not an outright fabrication by the second guy.

 

Thirdly, any lady who is imprudent enough to decide that I am guilty of something by association, without having talked to me -- and bases this decision on the word of a guy she has just had a "horrible or dangerous date" with ... proves herself to be a lady that I am quite contented never to see again, anyway.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

WIT, I'm a little dissapointed in your response as I respect your comments but am in no way trying to start a fight here...

 

what I said was: "some girls dont catch on to that ..." ...not ALL girls....

 

Yes, this is the same specific passage that I quoted and that I was responding to. Therefore quite obviously, I too am referring to some girls. Nowhere did I say anything about all girls, either, now did I?

 

And nowhere did I object to your general point about discretion. If a guy is indiscrete, that's a mark against him, period. (And this isn't dependent on to exactly whom he is indiscrete, neither -- as far as I am concerned. I blab to no-one, whether I think they're a "good guy" or "good gal" or not.)

 

But actually being indiscrete is a quite different thing than guilt-by-association based on some unverified story spun by some second guy. I am responsible for my own actions, not someone else's possible falsehoods. The two things should not be confused. That was my point.

[Annessa 22743]

Yes, this is the same specific passage that I quoted and that I was responding to. Therefore quite obviously, I too am referring to some girls. Nowhere did I say anything about all girls, either, now did I?

 

And nowhere did I object to your general point about discretion. If a guy is indiscrete, that's a mark against him, period. (And this isn't dependent on to exactly whom he is indiscrete, neither -- as far as I am concerned. I blab to no-one, whether I think they're a "good guy" or "good gal" or not.)

 

But actually being indiscrete is a quite different thing than guilt-by-association based on some unverified story spun by some second guy. I am responsible for my own actions, not someone else's possible falsehoods. The two things should not be confused. That was my point.

 

 

I think you're taking my one sentance a bit too far.

 

if we're both in agreement that blabbing to another member about a girl isnt right I dont see why we're still picking at each other's wording.

 

moving on....

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

I think you're taking my one sentance a bit too far.

 

if we're both in agreement that blabbing to another member about a girl isnt right I dont see why we're still picking at each other's wording.

 

moving on....

 

Annessa, I never "picked at your words".

 

In my first post I had a simple point that I considered was worth stating. In my second post I was defending myself against a mis-characterization of my first post. And now in this third post I am defending myself again against a mis-characterization of my second post.

 

Moving on.

[Annessa 22743]

Annessa, I never "picked at your words".

 

In my first post I had a simple point that I considered was worth stating. In my second post I was defending myself against a mis-characterization of my first post. And now in this third post I am defending myself again against a mis-characterization of my second post.

 

Moving on.

 

sorry I should have said "picked apart" instead (as in quoting and such and feeling the need to clear up etc etc...not in a "picking on" sense)

 

...point is I dont understand why we're all being so defensive if we all aggree on the same subject. just seems silly to go round in circles, its tiring...phewf!

 

No one is characterizing you or your posts so no need to get defensive.

 

:-)

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Hear Hear!

 

Cheers, Wrinkled :smile:

[Royalfun 55449]

When I read this thread, I realize how important it is to get in touch with the SP directly to know her better and to make me known a bit better.

 

Maybe I am dreaming , but my fun being a hobbiest is to prepare somehow my apt with a SP. As I said in some thread, the 'quick-quick' "boum-boum" encounter is not my cup of tea.

 

I find that pleasure comes with somekind of relationship where, at least, the Sp and I know some of the expectations of the other, and what kind of person we are. CERB is a very nice tool to learn a bit on someone from this community that shares some values that we want to promote here: authenticity, respect of the person, and the plain fun to have sex in a safe fashion.

 

When I read posts from Annessa or Megan, or others SPs, I feel that I see more than a beautiful SP, sexy and a good and professionnal provider, but a person with ideas, personality showing how she reacts. I dont want to meet a body, I want to have fun with a person, sexy and true.

 

Yes, for sure, a pic, a rec nicely written are good, but IMO to get in touch directly with the sp to find the right info looks the best way.

 

I know, I know, maybe I am dreaming; some hobbiests may want a quick service without notice, and act like as a compulsive buyer, base his decision on a story he heard from one of the guys. That's a choice, but not mine.

 

But a dreamer I may be, and the pleasure to meet a lady is a gift that I want to cherish. I was lucky for my first apts; I have prepared my choices, got in touch with the SP, exchanged emails, sharing info, sometimes with humour, that enhanced my excitement of the experience.

[redmachine 1916]

I have one word.....

 

LURKERS!!!!

 

and most people know my feelings about lurkers........:fes:[/quote

 

 

Well I probably fall into the lurker category and I offer no apologies for this.

I "lurk" on the site on a daily basis very seldom ever Post or do a reco.

And yes I do pop into chat every now and than and "lurk" as long as I am not bothering anyone wtf is the problem?

 

There are 17,849 registered members and 3.675 active members on the site safe to say most of these are lurkers and the site would not even exist without them.

 

Everyone contributes to the site in there own way I don't believe you need 1000+ post to be a contributor.

 

I have 9 ladies on my friends list 8 of these ladies I have had the great pleasure of meeting with at least once.

So despite my constant lurking I have had many wonderful experiences and have met 8 lovely ladies.

Correct me if I am wrong is this not what this site is all about?

 

Regards

Proud to be a Lurker

[PistolPete 61421]

My link that was posted in this thread on page 1 is of a totally different nature I believe to this thread.

 

Read here>http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=16221

 

I have had no qualms about pm's from people with no posts, but I do not wish to give out any personal information on a specific lady they may request.

 

I will of course direct them in the rec section and ask them to contact the lady directly.

 

As a matter of fact most recently I helped a couple of SP's about their ad (they just started here), and they had other issues here on the board (do we consider them lurkers:confused:) I think not.

 

When I started there was a couple of individuals long before myself, and I asked through pm's and posted on a thread, soon enough I was started and off I went.

 

Everyone will start at the bottom, and then gain reputation here, if they do or do not participate in threads.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... as long as I am not bothering anyone wtf is the problem?

 

There are 17,849 registered members and 3.675 active members on the site safe to say most of these are lurkers and the site would not even exist without them.

 

Everyone contributes to the site in there own way ...

 

RM, you are very far from being a "lurker"! I absolutely agree with you that everyone should feel free and comfortable to use the site as they wish. Traffic makes the world of business go 'round.

 

My impression is that because of the high number of members from Ottawa, some of the more well-known and respected Ottawa guys get a lot more private requests than us guys out here on the East Coast can even guess at. So some of them get tired of it, and tend to feel like they are being put-upon. Eventually their enthusiasm wanes, especially for privately helping people who they do not see contributing public content of their own.

 

There is a correlation between what one puts into Cerb and what one can hope or should expect to get back from it. Nothing at all wrong with simply lurking -- but I think it is those lurkers that also feel entitled to getting a lot of individual help who generate most of these bad feelings.

[Newton 714]

Any viable community is built on public goods. Although their use is free, the willingness of the members' contributing to building up the public goods is a sign of a healthy and sustainable community. Cerb is such a community and that's why I like it.

[redmachine 1916]

RM, you are very far from being a "lurker

 

I may or may not have graduated from the "lurker" status I don't like putting people in classes anyway we are all equal right? The first eleven months I was on the board I had a grand total of 1 post so at the very least I have been there and done that.

 

I don't have a problem with the op of this thread I understand and appreciate his concerns

 

I do have a issue with the "lurker" post that I replied to I find this post and other "lurker" post (rants) by this person to be offensive and another form of negative posting which is against the spirit of the board.

 

There are two comments added to this post that I find offensive and negative.also.

T'storm: Those damn lurkers

BownChickaBown: Lazy Lurkers :P

 

I am sure there would be hell to pay if a "lurker" came on and made the same comments about a 1000+ poster.