RobX 2084 Report post Posted April 23, 2010 (edited) I have been doing some research in preparation for my first visit to an SP. In one of the areas - the issue of buying treats or gifts for an SP - I have come across completely contradictory advice. Here is a sample of some of the advice I have come across regarding this issue: You don't have to buy anything. You don't need drinks, but have some water around. You can certainly offer a drink (alcoholic or non-alcoholic). Pick up some decent wine Always bring a bottle of Porto to a meeting, girls seem to like this. Always cover everything for a girl. Wine, water, pop and even lollipop. I always make sure I have something to drink but only really go out of my to offer her something (champagne, par example), if we've already met I would also suggest either a small box of chocolates or a dark chocolate bar. This is a BIG hit usually. I always either bring along something she likes (tickets to a show,perfume, spa certificate, etc) Given all of this contradictory advice, I am not sure how to handle this issue. Does the fact that there are so many different answers mean that there is no right answer, and that it therefore does not really matter what I decide in this area? Or is there a specific safe approach to follow when visiting an SP for the first time? If it will help, the website of the SP I am planning to see lists only water as her favorite drink/food item. Does this mean I can safely offer her only a bottle of water without seeming like a cheapskate? This SP's website does include some gift suggestions, including a link to her favorite lingerie store. Are such suggestions meant only for regular repeat clients? Having never visited an SP, my only point of reference is a regular first date. One would certainly never consider buying lingerie for someone on their first date. Are clients expected to buy such gifts for an SP for the first visit? Thanks, Edited April 23, 2010 by RobX wording Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
swegin 5885 Report post Posted April 23, 2010 I imagine that gifts are appreciated, but never required. Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Victoria Banks 21899 Report post Posted April 23, 2010 You don't have to bring a gift. You are not expected to bring a gift. However if you really want to bring one .. purchase a gift certificate for the lingerie store listed on her website you mentioned. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted April 23, 2010 Gifts are never expected. But often appreciated. So first of all its your decision whether to do it. As to what to bring research the ladies website or ask in an email/PM. Many give suggestions on their websites (I have seen several that specificaly say do not bring chocolate or sweets for example). Also don't bring alcohol without asking first, especially to a first meeting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted April 23, 2010 If someone has a list that means you are welcome to purchase something from the list. The list isn't meant for just regulars. If there is no list and you want to bring something then go with the basics: flowers, chocolates, gift card, trout lure etc For safety reasons always have the bottle of drink (wine/juice) unopen, allow her to open it or open it in clear sight of her. BTW since she has water listed, be different and find some exotic bottle of water for her. Some of the bottled water come in really beautiful packaging. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted April 23, 2010 I love music and through a bit of recon I try to determine some ones taste and then I'll burn a cd of music she likes but also try to introduce artists she may not be familiar with. It's fun thing to do. Nothing too personal (flowers, lingerie etc) that may require an explanation to civilians. If I bring wine it's because I've discovered something interesting that is excellent value. I don't plan on it being opened and expect its a leave behind. But everyone is different. Peace Mr Green 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted April 23, 2010 Everyone is right. Gifts are not necessary or expected. I usually like to bring along a little gift, though -- doing so makes me feel good, which is enough of a reason. But precisely because gifts are not expected, sometimes a little gift can also spark a big smile -- which can be a very good thing, especially if the lady has been having a rough day. Lightening a lady's mood is to everyone's benefit! For regular ladies, of course, it's relatively easy to know what gifts might work well. For ladies that I'm not already familiar with, and who don't have gift suggestions on their website, or for whom no ideas spring to mind from their posts on Cerb -- I'll often just ask, "Is there anything I can bring you? Perhaps [insert a simple idea here]?" If her answer is yes, I run with her suggestion (and try to add a bit of a fun twist if I can think of one). If her answer (as it usually is) is a polite "no -- just bring yourself", I'll likely bring along a little something anyway ... but even just asking the question has its own benefits in generating good will, I'd guess. If bringing a gift is something you really want to do, do it! There's no downside. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S******s*m Report post Posted April 25, 2010 Just ask... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted April 25, 2010 Gifts are definitely not expected, but I assume much appreciated. Personally I would be more inclined to bring a gift to a lady I know, rather than one I am meeting for the first time. To each his own of course, but I think the gift would mean more if the two of you have spent time together previously. Just a personal opinion of course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted April 25, 2010 I've tried the gift thing with mixed results...some are appreciated and some are thrown to the wayside. I play it by ear. I think the best gift I should always bring no matter what is myself, all clean and in a good mood, teeth brushed, flossed, shaved, clean clothes, well rested, etc. End of story. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted April 26, 2010 I've tried the gift thing with mixed results...some are appreciated and some are thrown to the wayside. I play it by ear. I think the best gift I should always bring no matter what is myself, all clean and in a good mood, teeth brushed, flossed, shaved, clean clothes, well rested, etc. End of story. I agree with you 100% cap, perfect hygene and a good mood is the perfect gift! I have always has mixed results with the gifts as well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted April 26, 2010 [quote name='capitalman;121915 I think the best gift I should always bring no matter what is myself' date=' all clean and in a good mood, teeth brushed, flossed, shaved, clean clothes, well rested, etc. End of story.[/quote'] I wish all clients were like you!:69: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chanel Reign 28097 Report post Posted May 7, 2010 My first outcall was to the Westin. The gentleman was a wonderful man, we had as much down time as play time (it was a 2 hour call). While I say on my site regarding gifts; "A lady never asks, and a gentleman never forgets"....that is not an expectation of a tip nor a gift. I left there a very satisfied and happy girl and with a tip and a bottle of my fave wine! (I was so surprised) He emailed me a few days later to thank me for the wonderful experience. And we will be meeting again in a few months when he's back in town. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted May 7, 2010 I always like to hopethat if I get a gift it is something small and discrete, a gentlman ringing the dorbell to my incall location with a large bouquet of flowers might raise suspicion for neighbors...and if I'm crossing a hotel lobby 2 hours later with a bouquet it might look ify to hotel staff, lol I'm not really one for sweets either and many girls are the same surprisingly so unless its dark chocolate, it may be re-gifted. I was surprised however on a first time visit recently with a small box and a cute pair of simple earrings. The client had done his research first to make sure my ears were pierced and I thought it was a really thoughtful gift. but yeah I would stay away from anything too specific, flowers, chocolate or perfumes (although I've been surprised with a perfume that actually really suited me)..then in doubt, make it more of a nice gesture, and something that doesn't break your bank if she doesnt like it :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kyra.Graves 23779 Report post Posted May 7, 2010 I think incall vs. outcall matters in this regard as well. With the quotes you provided I would have thought that about half were incall and the other half were outcalls and some of the "gifts" are more about the specific engagement. In this industry as much as anything else you really just need to apply common courtesy and do as you are comfortable with. If she has come to your location you are the host, offer her water at a minimum and if you and she both drink then maybe a wine or cocktail. If you've come to visit her at an incall it's generally good practice that she offers you a drink, water is the standard but you'll find that some ladies will stock wine, scotch, beer, etc. in order to enjoy a glass with a client (more common in extended dates). Sometimes these items are gifts, like Mr. Green who doesn't expect it to be consumed during the appt. but in general water, ice tea, juice, etc. are more a courtesy, part of being a good host. Other items, books, gift certificates, etc. are clearly gifts and as others mentioned it's not required but can go a long way to establishing a rapport with your date. It doesn't have to be something expensive, I've actually received some gifts that were pretty much free but their bringing it demonstrated a certain amount of caring and effort which can help with the YMMV scale on a first meeting. It's not about the gift itself but about the preparation, a client that took the time to look up my website (eg. like you did to see she prefers water) to make sure that he has that drink in easy reach, or to let me know he's read some of my posts (in order to see where my interests lie) is a client that has put some thought into our meeting. I usually feel safe that if he's made that kind of effort then he likely remembered to shower, clean up and will be respectful of my needs. I've had some interesting gifts in the past and it didn't matter what they spent, what I remember is the effort. I've had everything from a single carrot fresh from a garden (he knew I was a vegetarian), a burned CD with some favorite songs (we played it during the date), a copy of a clients dissertation that was printed off at his work (on a subject he knew I had interest in),a poem he recited (he knew I enjoy poetry), a book by the clients favorite author, to full weekends at a spa, cases of wine and cheese of the month subscriptions (mmmm... cheese!). One thing that I will say is that unless I have already established a relationship with the person something very expensive can make the recipient feel uncomfortable, if it's someone you haven't met and you want to start small and personal. Good luck on your first visit! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted May 7, 2010 Kyra, you are spot on! Everyone likes to feel special and when a person has taken the time to get to know you a bit it is wonderful! A gift is not necessary to accomplish this...a simple conversation based around your interests is amazing as well. I did receive a very thoughtful gift the other day. Upon his second visit he brought me a bag of bird seed. I was touched that he remembered our previous conversation! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted May 9, 2010 (edited) So essentially what you are saying is that I no longer need to train those parrots to sing "Love to love you baby"... I thought that they would be unique and appreciated as gifts. I guess I will cancel the order for the breeding dolphins as well..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1ArZEFwRsY Additional Comments: one more thing... they dance on the perch just like in the video.... Edited May 9, 2010 by Old Dog added link Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetness 108 Report post Posted May 10, 2010 Personally I just tip well...at least I hope I do! I just figure that I really don't know the ladies I've seen personally enough to give them a gift that I would consider appropriate; I like to make sure the gifts I give are well-thought out on my part and I find that difficult to do, so far. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda Bella 421 Report post Posted January 1, 2011 It is rather hard to give a gift to someone we dont know right? But the best dates i have ever had are usually with the gents who have taken the time to bring champagne or gin and joint. Some gents get to know me and then bring me the latest book of my favority writer. Some have burn me a CD and i loooooooooooove music! A gift certificate from a lingerie store it is also nice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted January 1, 2011 (edited) I always take a gift, my criteria is that it's something that won't require explaining like flowers. So often it's a bottle of wine. If I've chatted with some one a bit before meeting then I'd likely burn a cd of music. I've also gifted a scarf, tshirt and a book. Peace MG Edited January 1, 2011 by mrgreen760 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted January 1, 2011 For an outcall, which is most of the time for me, I provide a gift card to either LaSenza's or Victoria's Secret, plus the tip tucked away with the card. If the lady's website (or the lady herself) indicates a preference to another store, I would get a gift card for that store. For incalls, few and far between, in one case the gift card was tucked in with the envelope containing the donation, and I awkwardly fumbled the tip from my wallet at the end of our encounter. As for refreshments, since I mostly prefer an outcall, I have a bottle of wine (if white chilling, red room temp) plus some water and fruit juices in the hotel fridge...no matter what anything to be consumed is unopened...and I don't open except when the lady is present As a side note, I also have a bottle of unopened mouthwash in the bathroom, one lady I saw told me it was a very thoughtful thing to do RG 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted January 1, 2011 Flowers! True if you walk in with a dozen red roses it would make for some fast talking for both parties. There are neutral flowers: lilies, lilacs, tulips, carnations. Its a matter of being wise about it. If of thy mortal goods thou art bereft, And from thy slender store two loaves alone to thee are left, Sell one, and with the dole Buy hyacinths to feed thy soul. - Moslih Eddin (Muslih-un-Din) Saadi (Sadi), Gulistan (Garden of Roses) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
namssa 562 Report post Posted January 4, 2011 Usually through emails or PM's and my discussions with an SP setting up a session I will discover something mentioned in passing that might suffice as a gift. I also ensure that I visit the SP's website if she has one and thoroughly read any recent reviews for clues as to might make a good small gift for a lady I am seeing. Fruit in some form, some specialty water, Starbucks coffee or perhaps a wine on a rare occasion make a good gift for a first meeting. Make sure you research well though to ensure your gift is appropriate and not expensive. No sense in bringing wine to a session if you girl is perhaps a solid member of AA, that is just bad form. Same goes for say bringing coffee if the girl does not like it at all. Pay attention and you can pretty much find something that will work. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Scarlett 25073 Report post Posted January 4, 2011 I believe gifts are something personal, and should be given between 2 people who have gotten to know one another! I usually do not accept gifts on the first visit. I like to get to know someone before I would buy them a gift. As for flowers, wine, perfume, etc.... I have allergies, and would not appreciate that kind of stuff. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Betty-Anne 100 Report post Posted July 2, 2011 For a first time meeting a gift is definitely not expected nor should it be expected any other time. Although it really lifts my spirits when someone has thought about me enouph for them to go out on their own time to get something special. As to what to give to that person, that is totally up to you. Personally a small bottle of wine is romantic and can be shared. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites