It never fails... but why?

[JoyfulC 132299]

For the past few years, I have not bothered putting rates on my site. I meant to build a rates page, but just never got around to it. Besides, guys would almost always contact me and ask me what my rates were, even though they were posted.

 

So for the past couple years, guys have been contacting me saying they couldn't find my rates on my site (true enough, as they weren't there).

 

Just this week, I got around to making some updates to my site, and I put up a rates page. Very first guy who contacts me asks me what my rate is.

 

And then the second. And then the next. And so on.

 

?????

 

What is it, guys??

 

It gets worse. I have a live chat support feature installed on my site, and so I can see where people go and what pages they have visited. Very often, they will contact me FROM the rates page to ask me my rates.

 

Really, this has been going on for decades, and I'm dying to know -- why is it that so many guys insist on asking for information that they already saw on a web site or in an ad??

 

Oh, and another thing I've always wondered about: why do some guys feel that it would be more discreet to park a block away and walk over? In most of the neighbourhoods I've lived in, I'd never notice a car visiting a neighbour's house -- but if I see someone walking down the street that I don't know, that always gets my attention.

 

It's been a long day already! Some of my video configs are mangled and Mina puked in my shoe. :(

[Selena_20 333]

Hi Joyful,

 

If i may say (lol), i think that they may be looking for a cheaper rate. They often think the rate is negotiable. I had my rate advertised somewhere and they did the same thing. I took my rate down so i wouldn't get irritated when they contacted me even after seeing the rate.

 

I agree, they are better off parking in the driveway. Walking up the street is way more noticable and obvious. xoxoxo

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

.... Really, this has been going on for decades, and I'm dying to know -- why is it that so many guys insist on asking for information that they already saw on a web site or in an ad?? ....

 

The rates thing is a "can't-win". Just because a lady has her rates posted doesn't mean she will stand behind those rates.

 

I have personally heard these two responses after I have arrived at the meeting, having assumed that the posted rates were valid:

 

1) "Oh, the rates I posted are out of date, I forget to post my new increased rates"; and

 

2) "Oh, those rates are not inclusive of certain services, what you want will cost extra" ....

 

Both of these responses were followed by the admonishment: "you should have asked to make sure"!

 

So. Even if your rates are posted, there is still a reason for a guy to ask. It's not always because he can't read ... experience may have told him, as it has me, that you can't believe everything you read!

 

(Personally, though, I still rarely ask, because I know it annoys many ladies -- although I'm always strongly tempted to. To "just assume" goes against my training as a professional buyer, where the mantra is to confirm, then re-confirm all details, then re-re-confirm all details before signing.)

[Andee 220524]

I agree they may be looking for a cheaper rate.

 

I hate it more when they ask an you tell me if you're having any specials today.

[jman47 233]

Hello Joyful C,

 

IMHO undoubtedly the majority of the requests you are getting are from people who are either looking for a lower rate, a special or any kind of deal. Some may just be verification calls to be sure the rates are not outdated.

 

As consumers in today's society we have all been trained if you will by retailers and advertisers to expect a discount. Everybody wants a deal...why should it be any different here. I do not believe it to be proper, nor do I participate in rate negotiations with ladies...I merely offer some input as to why some act as they do.

 

Keep smiling ;), I suppose you can consider it all in a days work although I understand how having to use your valuable time to answer the questions can be an irritant...

 

Have fun,

 

jman47

[Newton 714]

I haven't had any problem with posted rates. I didn't ask about it when setting up an appointment. The ladies didn't ask me if I knew about it. I just put the donation in an envelope and gave it to the lady upon arrival. Never asked to pony up.

 

For ladies who didn't post rates, I didn't ask them actively but was normally told the rates before the date was confirmed and direction given.

 

It works for me.

[JoyfulC 132299]

Yes, I usually try to confirm the length of session and the rate when the appointment is confirmed, but sometimes things get chaotic and I forget.

 

Technically, I think you have to honour your posted rate -- unless someone shows up with an out-of-date ad or page that you haven't been using on your site for ages. (Actually, that's a good point, WrinkledInTime -- in other businesses, I believe you have to date your prices. Maybe we should start doing that too -- as in, "These rates are in effect until December 31, 2010, and may not be valid after that time.")

 

I do find that about maybe 30% of guys try to "negotiate" only it's not real negotiation because they're almost never willing to make any sacrifices for a lower rate. (Well, except for those who insist they only want oral, but considering that requires more effort and skill than regular sex, it isn't much of a sacrifice.) I find most are just looking for a better price for the same service, and it must work because so many do it. I've even had guys say, "well, maybe another time when business is slow." Yeesh.

 

Still, I had a guy this morning while I was online ask me my rates when I could see he was ON my rates page. I asked him if he didn't see them on my site, and he had the nerve to say "no." Needless to say, we were off on the wrong foot! ;)

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

I also get annoyed at "What are your rates?"............

 

.......but I'm always perfectly happy with something along the lines of "Can you confirm your rate is $220 for 90 minutes? Does this include full nudity and release?" etc. It shows they've read my website and just want clarification.

[Guest S***e]

On a couple of occasions in the past, I have been told upon arrival and after having dropped the envelop that the posted donations or rates are out of date or that there has been a recent increase that has not yet been published. (Maybe I'm just too old and ugly.) Obviously, this has transpired upon meeting up for an initial encounter and I have always carried extra funds with me so making up the difference wasn't a problem or issue. For that reason alone when making email contact after visiting a website and taking note of the donations/rates as published, I usually ask for confirmation of them for a certain time frame. As a repeat client, I certainly appreciate being told in advance by my companion that a rate increase is coming into effect. I see no disrespect in asking for rate confirmation if it's done in an intelligent and polite fashion. No doubt there are those individuals who are looking for a rate reduction from those published which is why many published rates/donations are non-negiotiable; however, no doubt this doesn't stop some of these individuals from asking. I have always been of the view that respect, courtesy and good manners are and should be a two-way street and that this isn't the XXX adult version of "Let's Make a Deal."

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... why do some guys feel that it would be more discreet to park a block away and walk over? In most of the neighbourhoods I've lived in, I'd never notice a car visiting a neighbour's house -- but if I see someone walking down the street that I don't know, that always gets my attention...

 

When meeting a lady I have never visited before, I always ask about parking. I appreciate a lady who can tell me where the best place to park is (surprisingly many cannot!), because right off the top she has removed one potential hassle for me.

 

It's true that all the ladies I have visited in single-family residential-street settings have responded to the parking question with "in the driveway", or "through the driveway to the back of the house".

[etasman2000 15994]

The rates thing is a "can't-win". Just because a lady has her rates posted doesn't mean she will stand behind those rates.

 

Fully agree here.

 

As a counter my typical MO is to send an email a day before confirming time/location/duration/compensation. I do make the assumption that some basic services are included (kissing, daty or as per restriction on her website) and go with the flow at the time of the encounter.

[pjrd 324]

I believe that the rates on a website are up to date. Anyone that tells me their rates are out of date needs to correct that on the website and not when I arrive at the door.

Sometimes when guys contact a lady for the first time they are quite nevous and don't really know what to say so they say dumb things like " what's your rate " when they already know, I think alot of the time it's just a guy trying to start a conversation with the gals because we're not all good with breaking the ice, so to speak, and often start off a bit clumbsy. Don't think it's always about getting a better deal.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

I don't think it's just about rates. Most guys ask questions that are already answered if only they'd do some reading. I believe the average guy just looks at the pretty pictures and then picks up the phone and calls. Afterall, talking to the lady to ask her all these questions is surely better than having basic reading comprehension. It's annoying as hell, but I doubt these types of guys will suddenly start reading everything before they search for your phone number and dial you up.

[JoyfulC 132299]

It's one thing to ask for a rate confirmation -- I wasn't referring to that. I'm talking about guys who you know they saw your posted rates (in my case, I sometimes know they're looking at them as they ask!) but who claim they never saw them.

 

Too weird.

 

(And yes, I agree, providing parking info is essential. Even if I go to dinner at friends, I'd like to know about parking. If they don't offer, I ask.)

[Newton 714]

Too weird.

 

I think it was just guys pretending to be cool.

[JoyfulC 132299]

I think it was just guys pretending to be cool.

 

Oh man! .... It really does often boil down to that, eh? ;)

 

But hey, as silly as you are sometimes, nature built us so that we can't resist you.

[Newton 714]

we can't resist you.

 

We can't resist you either!

 

I believe the average guy just looks at the pretty pictures and then picks up the phone and calls.

That's true. We guys are easily distracted by pretty pictures. ;)

[Guest Ou**or**n]

I agree wholeheartedly with WIT but I think that the reasons are two-fold. First is to verify the rates are current and second is to indirectly look for a deal.

 

Most guys are well aware that trying to negotiate face-to-face is a mood killer. However some ladies do in fact have 'specials' for a variety of reasons. They are trying to get established, they are trying to increase business at certain times of the day, certain days of the week and so on. These are legitimate reasons (even BMW offers 0% interest financing from time-to-time). Typically the service is still good because the lower rate was initiated by the lady.

 

You can't really blame guys on this part. I'm sure you ladies enjoy finding luxury items on sale as well. Just re-quote your rates and life goes on.

[Andee 220524]

I agree with Christine that the SP should honour the rate that is posted on the web-site. It's not the client's fault you didn't take 5 minutes to update your site.

 

Asking for confirmation is fine with me.

 

I find the guys who do ask "what's your rate" end up asking me other things which are on my site and it's obvious they just wrote down a bunch of phone numbers without remembering who's who.

 

When the book and I ask them for how long, I always confirm the rate anyhow whether they ask or not.

[TonyPDaddy 122]

I personally ask all the time and I am specific to what I am looking for and if there is an "extra fee" then I know that going into the date so there is no negotiating when our clothes are off as it spoils the mood especially for me.

 

I have three businesses and two of them are online and my rates are on there and I always get emails asking what is the price for this or that, or if I extend a contract can it be cheaper. All the information is there, in plain view, but the question will always get asked.

 

If its not someone that has been to see you, especially if it is a newbie, then asking rates or services is just a way to get a conversation started as we aren't sure what to ask or what to say in some cases. I remember the first time I called and I plolitely apologized and explained that I saw your site and the rates, but what does this all mean as this is the first I have seen this.

 

There are many stories out there...like half hours only include bj, cbj not fs and so on.

 

But I think in most occasions if its new people, they feel nervous and are not sure what to say and as you are beautiful, they just want to talk to you.

[JoyfulC 132299]

Okay, lots of good reasons here, but it still doesn't explain why someone would claim he didn't see your rates on your page when you can see that he's sitting on your rates page the moment he contacted you.

 

I wouldn't mind someone saying he wanted to confirm a rate or what is included in it, but when he swears he didn't see the rates on my site and he's contacting me from the rate page ...?? Why lie?

 

I had always scratched my head over this one and sort of figured some guys were lying to me, but until I got this new live chat tool, I couldn't prove it. The tool was actually designed for use in real-time sales, customer or technical support, and so it provides a lot more information that I really need. I'm actually talking to people who are on my site, and I can see where they're at and where they've been. For the first time now all shadow of a doubt is removed that someone is lying about having seen my rates when I can see he's contacting me from my rates page or at least has been to my rates page and spent a couple minutes on it. It's just creepy.

 

I don't blame anyone for asking for a lower rate -- I don't take it personally. But no, when I shop, I more concerned with getting a product or service that's right for me than with getting a deal. I figure, if it's not right for me, then no matter how good the bargain, it's still a waste of money. And if I'm not comfortable with the original rate, then maybe getting a 1-time deal isn't such a good idea -- what if I like it? Will I then be stuck making the choice between having to cough up the extra when I want it again? Or will I have to settle for a service in my price range that I won't be as satisfied with? Why put myself in that dilemma in the first place? Either I can afford it at the regular rate or I can't. Services aren't like cars or iPods. When they have zero financing deals, it's usually to move out old inventory to make room for new. There's not really any equivalent to that in a services model.

[Guest S***e]

I believe that the rates on a website are up to date. Anyone that tells me their rates are out of date needs to correct that on the website and not when I arrive at the door.

Don't think it's always about getting a better deal.

 

I don't disagree with you there as I find that updating rates/donations upon my arrival is akin to me negotiating a lower rate upon my part. I like to be on the same page as I believe all of us do. Open and polite communication on the part of both parties is essential to a pleasant experience in my view.

[JoyfulC 132299]

Okay, so I guess this is what I'm asking: if a guy lies to me and says he never saw my rates page when I know he did, should that be a dealbreaker?

 

(Lately it sort of has been -- it's just so creepy.)

[Suzirider 737]

should that be a dealbreaker?

Yes !

I'm wondering if "Negotiation" is mostly a male behaviour (hunting, probing for urgency, weakness, advantage over adversary).

I'm selling some items on Kijiji. Even after giving info in my ad (A1 condition, model # . $100 Firm etc.) I still get emails asking "does it work?" , "will it fit on my truck?", etc. After several emails giving them details they can easily find, they lowball me. Seems the item itself becomes secondary to the petty little victory, if they get me to agree to less. Even then they don't show up.

I'm close to replying with, "I do not deal with people that cannot read."

"what do you mean I can't read?"

"so you're a liar then, don't deal with those either !" Click !

Sales is not my forte :sad:

[JoyfulC 132299]

Sales is not my forte :sad:

 

Mine neither! It's the one part of the job I dislike. I learned long ago to work hard to keep people coming back -- makes up for my poor sales skills.