Getting emotionally involved ? taken for a ride?.

[Reddog01 30280]

I was just reading some old posts and threads talking about being played for money by Dancers and/or Sps. Some members are ok with giving a danser or Sp extra money to help them out of problem. But be prepered not to get it back (not in all cases). Of course there are always two sides to a story. Guys just have to remember, you are one of many "contacts" that "your favourite" has for her profit. They know how to wrap you around their finger, after all you are the one looking for something and if you ever get emotionally envolved it is hard to say no.

 

Anyway reading the posts reminder me of a rather funny view given by Greg Burns in an article named "So you want to date a stripper?" I am sure some of you have seen this already - but it is good for a laugh. Google the title or try the link and let me know what you think - from both sides....

http://www.identitytheory.com/insight/bruns9.html

[etasman2000 15994]

I was just reading some old posts and threads talking about being played for money by Dancers and/or Sps.

 

Dancers and SPs ?

 

(Extended) Family members are the ones to look out for! grrrr :twisted:

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

I realize where you're coming from with this thread, but when you generalize, like you just did, you have to be prepared for some backlash. Or at least an oppositional opinion. I have never, ever, ever asked any client, friend or not, for any extra money. Yes I have some serious financial difficulties and debt. Some due to education, some due to getting taken for a ride myself, some due to home repairs I had no choice but to fix and some due to foolish decisions. However, why should my financial short-comings become a client's problem? If I were a client, I'd be offended if my SP asked me for additional money. It's gauche, tacky and inappropriate as far as I'm concerned. If I can't manage my finances and arrange a suitable pay-back schedule, then that's my problem. Not my client's.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

LMAO too funny!!!!

Just for the record....most of us SP's have real lives that do not revolve around Mr. Burns' scenario but none the less....it was a great read! Thanks!

 

Additional Comments:

Soleil, my friend, YOU GO GIRL!

[Guest s******ecan****]

Some members are ok with giving a danser or Sp extra money to help them out of problem. But be prepered not to get it back (not in all cases).

 

 

Of course this isn't unique to dancers or SP's. When someone is in need to the point where they are asking virtual strangers or clients/customers for money than their situation is indeed desperate.

 

In the past whenever I have been asked to help someone I decide how much I can afford and simply give the money with no expectation of getting it back. This keeps my contribution reasonable since I'm no Bill Gates and it also takes all the pressure off everyone in regards to paying it back. Who of us out there after all likes to "owe' money to anyone.

 

I have never been asked by an SP or dancer for money (maybe just haven't been in the hobby long enough) but I have helped out other people in other situations. More often than not it is not through cash, always ask yourself first what the real need is, money isn't always the answer.

[Reddog01 30280]

Soleil: The post was not meant to offend, and not to generalize. It takes all kinds to make the world go round. It was intended to make light of a situation when a guy gets a bit too close and finds he can't say no or can't recognize (or dosn't want to recognize) when being taken advantage of. Of course most dancers and Sps don't aim to "take advantage". Some guys, me included, have been smitten by a dancer or escort where a relationship grew over time. I got lost in the "fantasy" (no fault of hers), after all she was just trying to make me feel good with comliments, sexual innuendo and the odd dinner out and evening at her place. This kept me interested and she knew it, although I think she did enjoy my company, when it suited her.

The link I provided is a stereotypical story of a hobbiest, not all guys are like him either.

Appreciate your reply and I hope you can see the homour in it.

Reddog

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I hope that all viewers of this post take it the way it was intended. I did and appreciate the humour you were portraying yet I can see why some would be offended. Your reply to sunshine makes it easier to digest!

[Peachka 4334]

The vast majority of these scenarios I have heard about involve dancers.

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

Ok you got me! I should've read the link of the article you included before responding in the manner that I did. So sorry for prematurely flying off the handle without checking out the article first. :oops: Finally read it, and it was hilarious! :lol:

[Auralie (retired) 227]

I get the humour in this and I appreciate the intent, but it always annoys me just a little bit when SPs and other related industry-folk are portrayed as a bit lazy, shallow people who bat their eyelashes and get money thrown at them...maybe strippers lead different lives than SPs (probably not), but I hope you guys certainly don't think it's close to reality.

 

My phone doesn't ring every minute, I don't hang out at clubs by night and tanning salons by day, and I certainly have never, ever, ever asked a "friend" or client for money. I earn the money I make and though it's an enjoyable job (especially compared to a $10/hr customer service career), it's not easy.

 

We don't all expect a man other than a client to pay for everything- the best thing about this job is that it gives me financial independence so I don't rely on a man to pay for stuff for me. A bit ironic, sure, but life is full of irony.

[Guest o*****a*****r]

If you’re giving money to anyone I find it’s always best to consider it a gift and not a loan even if you’re promised that it will be paid back. Considering the money as a gift and not expecting to be paid back will save you from “grief” I promise you.

 

If you’re “emotionally involved”, as mentioned, just be aware that business conducted with emotions can create quite a few issues/problems for you and/or your “business partner”. If someone knows you’re emotionally involved in your business dealings they can take advantage of this fact. (I.e. you have an arrangement and it gets cancelled for another business transaction, you can get taken advantage of and don’t receive the original arrangement/dealing etc…). If someone knows they have your business no matter what you will be taken advantage of!

 

Just my opinion and I hope I haven’t offended anyone.

 

OTG

[Kubrickfan 12836]

I would have posted this in the stripclub section as in my experience I have never seen that sort of behavior from escorts. Still, what makes it an interesting read is that, although it takes some poetic license, there are definitely nuggets of truth in there and that what makes it so darn funny. And thanks to Reddog for posting it.

 

What it doesn't mention is that dancers likely have to invest a good deal of "table time" and effort developing these relationships without compensation. And it likely takes going through quite a few guys to find one that is willing to shell out that kind of money. It happened to me briefly a few years ago, but the dancer involved is someone that I still keep in touch with and see, but I feel no obligation whatsoever to spend money on her and we look forward to seeing each other at the club when I'm around. She is a friend, period, and that's wonderful.

 

So the author's point about knowing what you want has a lot of truth to it. Whatever it is, be prepared to walk away if you don't get it. Or at least lower your expectations.

 

And for any guy to think that the drop dead gorgeous, 5'10" in heels, 21 year old with "dancer's legs and laughing eyes" (credit to Steely Dan) sitting at your table talking to you while drinking the $9.00 Chambord on ice that you just bought her has anything in common with you, a middle aged family guy, ... well maybe enough for some small talk and laughs. But anything else ... get a grip. :roll::roll:

[Reddog01 30280]

Kubrickfan: Your right I should have posted it under stripclub. I am new to this board and will pay more attention in the future. I have more expeience with SCs than SP. I plan to engage more SPs in the future, having had a lot of fun with one recently in Toronto. My intent was to share this article with a wider audience by postin in the general area. I thought it was fun and as you pointed out it rings a little true for some of us.

[Guest o*****a*****r]

Sorry I should say one more thing...

 

I've dated many dancers and lived with one for quite sometime and in my experiences they were some of the most generous women I've ever met! I never, ever felt like they were taking advantage of me for my money.

 

Apologies if I've taken the "fun" out of this thread :razz:

[Guest Ou**or**n]

A good and funny read. It also echoes my reasoning for not having been in a SC for a good many years.

 

I love the line "dating a stripper is no different than trying to debate Nietzsche with a Dalmation" for obvious reasons.

[pjrd 324]

I would have posted this in the stripclub section as in my experience I have never seen that sort of behavior from escorts.

 

well I have. There's lots of providers out there that will take advantage of us by asking for handouts and other things. I know from first hand experience and hopefully I've learned my lesson. Just make sure you know it's a hand out and nothing more.

[Reddog01 30280]

Out for fun:

 

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything."

 

Another one I like:

 

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

 

FN

 

Here is the link again taken from the start of this thread to the satire : "So you want to date a Stripper?"

http://www.identitytheory.com/insight/bruns9.html

[theghostrider78 100]

Like everyone I relize that the ladies have lives outside of work, some even have regular jobs and use escorting to supplement their income. But things happen to them just as they happen to you and me. So treat them as you would any friend.

 

Ghost

[masterowls 249]

Speaking for myself, I find it difficult if not impossible, not to form some emotional attachment to a SP, particularly if I enjoy her company regularly. The key is to remember that you are probably not the only client that she has formed a bond with, and enjoy the company while you have it. After all, a truly great SP makes her client feel special, which is where bonds start. Lets face it folks really great SPs are some pretty special people. If we didn't get a little more attached than we should at times, we wouldn't be human. As for giving a SP a financial boost... none I've ever met has asked, but if it did happen, I think I'd try to work a deal where we both got something...Maybe a cut rate on the next appointment or something... That way, she need not worry about payback, and I would have something to look forward to. Anyway, just my 2 cents

 

masterowls

[pjrd 324]

Speaking for myself, I find it difficult if not impossible, not to form some emotional attachment to a SP, particularly if I enjoy her company regularly. The key is to remember that you are probably not the only client that she has formed a bond with, and enjoy the company while you have it. After all, a truly great SP makes her client feel special, which is where bonds start. Lets face it folks really great SPs are some pretty special people. If we didn't get a little more attached than we should at times, we wouldn't be human. As for giving a SP a financial boost... none I've ever met has asked, but if it did happen, I think I'd try to work a deal where we both got something...Maybe a cut rate on the next appointment or something... That way, she need not worry about payback, and I would have something to look forward to. Anyway, just my 2 cents

 

masterowls

 

sorry but I think you're dreaming. Just give her the money if you want but don't expect anything back. There's nothing wrong with helping someone out if you want to. Bin there, done that. It's like lending money to your kids, you just do it because you love them. Don't expect anything back. "Deal" is a bad word in my books from now on.

[Guest o*****a*****r]

Good Answer pjrd!!!

 

I was asked by a SP regular I saw for quite awhile, and still sometimes email, for money to pay the rent as she thought she'd get evicted, and I gave it to her without any "deal". I was never able to see her again, as IMHO she went a little "crazy", and I speculate she's messed up, but I gave it as a gift and never expected it back so I have no regrets.

 

OTG

 

sorry but I think you're dreaming. Just give her the money if you want but don't expect anything back. There's nothing wrong with helping someone out if you want to. Bin there, done that. It's like lending money to your kids, you just do it because you love them. Don't expect anything back. "Deal" is a bad word in my books from now on.

[Royalfun 55449]

Good Answer pjrd!!!

 

I was asked by a SP regular I saw for quite awhile, and still sometimes email, for money to pay the rent as she thought she'd get evicted, and I gave it to her without any "deal". I was never able to see her again, as IMHO she went a little "crazy", and I speculate she's messed up, but I gave it as a gift and never expected it back so I have no regrets.

 

OTG

 

It seems that this kind of "request" happens too often. I had the same experience; and in a way, I saw that coming, and frankly I have accepted to play the game. It was also the end of what I thought could be somekind of a relationship, sice Isaw her for a while before..

What disappointed me there is that the only thing she has considered is the "money" relationship, and nothing else.

 

What I learned from this experience is that when I see a SP, the money side of the relationship should be related exclusively to the service; if she needs help ( and many times, I am really open to that), I will help for everything except for money: to listen, give advice, try to find solutions, analyse.

 

I really like women, and when I made the choice to see SPs, the business side of the experience was clear and legitimate. These ladies are beautiful, many SPs know what they are doing and why, and they develop a real professional approach for their services. Like everything in society, there are also some people with less ethics, and I try to be as far from them as I can.

 

But I also learned that, as "hobbiest", I must be wiser, better informed on the SPs and on this business, and to think with my brain, not only with my cock!!!:roll:

[Mister T 45020]

Interesting thread and comments. Being an SC patron, i've developed relationship with a few dancers. Many do this as a second job (supplementary income) and do not expect anything else. Even the full time dancers i know, with the leaner nights, have never asked anything else on top of the time I spent with them.

 

For those i see, the "table time" kubrickfan referred to is done (important for both parties i think), and both them and i enjoy each others company; yes, if you see a dancer regularly, a relationship can build on top of the "business" relationship, but most that i see and talk to differientiate what goes on between the SC walls and "out there", and yes, friendships can develop if all parties can keep their heads, as i'm starting to see myself. And yes, they are nice, generous ladies as ottawacanguitar as cited.

 

But, like in any situation in life, not all are like that ....