Guest S****r Report post Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) When I first entered the escorting industry, my (then) boyfriend, excited to see me finally pulling myself up over the poverty line doing something that was so very pleasurable, asked me, "Is there any way you can get ME into the industry, also?" Being new myself, I wasn't sure of the possibilities, but assured him that I would investigate the chances. Since then, I have had male client friends also ask me the same thing--sometimes jokingly and sometimes seriously. Sadly, I ultimately discovered that there seems to be an exceedingly narrow market for male-for-female escorts. Granted, we do have our own Il Re here who has certainly carved out a niche for himself. (Hi Il Re!) But he is also a former registered massage therapist, I believe, so he has a way to differentiate himself from many others. And yes, I acknowledge that there are other successful male escorts across the country, too. However, the ratio of male escorts to female escorts must show a huge discrepancy. Why is that? Why is the demand by men for women incredibly high, but the demand by women for men so surprisingly low? Are there really so few women who want to have sex? Or so few women who are without a partner that there is just no demand? Or is something else affecting the equation? My own investigation and musing has led me to this simple conclusion: few women pay to hire a man (or men) for sex simply because it is easy enough for them to get sex for free. Almost any woman who wants simply sex only has to open herself up to the guys around her and sooner of later someone will hit on her. She then just has to go along with him and sex will happen in almost no time. If he proves to be unsatisfactory, she can just move on to the next one until she hits gold. This is presuming that sex is all she is seeking, and not an actual ongoing, intimate relationship with commitment, monogamy, etc. Just sex alone is quick, easy and free for a woman to find. I also remember my (then) boyfriend stating that women are the gatekeepers of sex--that ultimately, whether a guy gets to enjoy sex or not hinges upon the decison of some woman to acquiesce or not. At the time he said it, I scoffed at the idea, but as I have observed and further pondered things, I have concluded that I have to concur. This presumes, of course that we are talking about consensual sex. So why is the ratio of male to female escorts so disproportionate? It is my conclusion that simpy put: women don't pay for sex because they don't have to--they can always find it for free. Sorry, guys. I fully acknowledge that it is unfair, but it seems to me to be just the way it is. What are your thoughts? See video for a laugh Edited October 25, 2014 by S****r Corrected ""RMT"" to "former RMT" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldblueeyez 15475 Report post Posted October 24, 2014 You answered you own question. Women, if they want quick sex, can get quick sex very easily and certainly don't have to pay for it. But I don't think the majority of women want quick sex; men's and women's minds work differently. If a male wants to make money in this business, my guess is to work the gay market. But on the other hand, it seems sex for gays is even easier than for women. I guess he'd have to market to elderly gays. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted October 25, 2014 I think it may be a cultural thing. I believe there may be women who would consider this as an option, but it's frowned upon in the North America as a rule. I have female friends who have expressed to me they would consider it, but they don't have the courage to take the plunge. In large cities like New York for example, male escorts for females are more popular. This may be perhaps because there are more female executives and rich women who may be more likely to be seeking no strings attached encounters where they don't have the time or inclination to use dating sites or pick men up. Also male escorts are much more popular in Europe where people are less uptight about sex. Whenever a male asks me for advice about become a male escort, I tell them that unless they are willing to service men, to forget about. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amber Rose 19012 Report post Posted October 25, 2014 Well, I'll throw my opinion in, and I hope I don't come off as bitter or rude! To touch on the part mentioned how it's so easy for women to have sex, no, I'm sorry, I completely disagree. Yes it is more easy to a certain extent, but why is that? Because there's a higher demand of men looking for sex, so the women have lots to choose from. Now why is that?! Well, to put it bluntly, we have to blame it on the patriarchy. But we'll get to that in a minute.. Men and women are taught at young ages very different things. Men are taught that they should be having sex, it's be all, end all in their lives, and they are praised for having it, lots of it! Women on the other hand(at least for the most part) are taught to save themselves, because if they sleep around, they loose a certain amount of their dignity(this is also a contributing factor as to why women selling sex is seen as so bad). We're taught not to sleep around or we'll be a whore, and who wants that?! So women are basically shamed into having the same carnal desires as men, so they decide to either supress them, or not care and live a fulfilling sexual life. Either way, they don't usually go looking for sex quite as much as men, since there still is that stigma and shame in the back of their mind. Another reason(not sure if I'm right or wrong with these, just spewing my ideas!) is this: for the most part, when men are choosing a provider, they at least usually try and find someone that is nice, caring, affectionate, etc. so it feels genuine to them. Men, in this sense, aren't just looking for a quick lay either, but something real, or that at least feels real. Women would be the same as well. For the most part, we don't run around screwing everything we can, we try to find someone who at least likes us before we sleep with them. This is why I have to disagree that it's so easy for women to have sex if they want it. If they're looking for really bad sex with someone they don't know and who probably doesn't even remember their first name, then yes, it's super easy! If they want to find someone to sleep with who at least slightly likes them, the odds slim down by A LOT. Trust me, I've been in the dating game for a long time, and the only availabilities are men who really could not care less about you, they just want in your pants. Now, back to the original subject.. One other huge contributing factor as to why there is such a lower demand for male escorts is simple: women don't usually make enough money to afford it. Most of the hobbiests in this business usually have a good business, or at least make a very comfortable living. I know the times are a-changin' but for the most part, the men are still the main breadwinner for most families while the women take care of the kids. Women, for the most part, do not make near as much as men, and are not nearly as high up in businesses as men(sorry, call me a feminist!), so they don't usually have hundreds to spare for pleasure. Sorry for my rambling, just my two cents on the matter! :) Posted via Mobile Device 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest *l**e Report post Posted October 25, 2014 so, I guess I should chime in. Although Summer's point is probably the biggest reason for the disparity, I think there are more factors. Without a doubt, women can get sex much more easily then men almost without exception...almost. I would say that most of my clients can quite easily. They may not, however be able to get "exactly" what they are looking for; that's when they might choose to see an escort; to fulfill specific fantasies. One of the reasons I have done well is that I am good at listening. There is more than just that, however. Another reason many women may not seek out make escorts is that they prioritize their lives differently. Many men will organize their day, week, budget, wardrobe...everything...based on when they may get laid. Many women place sex a little farther down the list. That means that setting cash aside for it may not be an option or even an valid idea for them. Lastly, societal pressures; it's hard enough for guys to see escorts. Not telling your friends, having a second phone, alibis, and so on, and so on and so on. For a woman, they also have the issue of society frowning on them pursuing this option. makes it even tougher to break through the stigma and go for it. I think when you combine all of this, it's no wonder the market is so small. I am happy to say, however, that in my experience these attitudes are changing and more and more women and couples are seeking male escorts and mps. It may never reach the level that female escorts are at, but it's getting better. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meaghan McLeod 179664 Report post Posted October 25, 2014 (edited) Xxxxxxxxxxxxxc Edited October 25, 2014 by Me*********od (retired) x 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest *l**e Report post Posted October 25, 2014 not to be picky, but people often generalize; "for women, it's more than just sex", or "for men, it's only about sex". I understand that generalizations clearly have a root in reality in some form, so I assume when people say these phrases, they probably mean "most men", or "many women" and that this may in fact be accurate. I can tell you that I have met a great many women that just wanted a fuck...no feelings, emotions or connections; they wanted me to please them and that's it. I also know many guys that cannot be with a women without some connection. every person is different; this much I know. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted October 25, 2014 not to be picky, but people often generalize; "for women, it's more than just sex", or "for men, it's only about sex". I understand that generalizations clearly have a root in reality in some form, so I assume when people say these phrases, they probably mean "most men", or "many women" and that this may in fact be accurate. I can tell you that I have met a great many women that just wanted a fuck...no feelings, emotions or connections; they wanted me to please them and that's it. I also know many guys that cannot be with a women without some connection. every person is different; this much I know. I agree. Sometimes I just want to have sex for the pure enjoyment of having it, no strings attached. Believe it or not, sometimes when I get the urge, I can't seem to hook up, lol. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted October 28, 2014 Fewer women pay for sex because a) women aren't taught to explore their own sexualities and desires b) women still earn less than men and have less income to toss around c) women are still the primary caregivers when children are involved, so those women also have less time to spend looking for a decent male escort. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen 67414 Report post Posted October 28, 2014 few women pay to hire a man (or men) for sex simply because it is easy enough for them to get sex for free. Almost any woman who wants simply sex only has to open herself up to the guys around her and sooner of later someone will hit on her. Sure, but there should still be a significant market for women who want discreet sex. A frustrated married woman can't just head down to the bar and pick up anyone. Shouldn't they represent a huge client base? If it weren't for cultural hangups, I'd expect women's desire for male escorts (whether for good companionship and gentle seduction, or wild sweaty anonymous and kinky fucking) should be every bit equal to men's. I think what remains is what the others have touched on: - many, many women aren't comfortable pursuing sexual pleasure outside of a relationship, because they've been indoctrinated that "quality women don't do that". - many women just don't have the money to do it (yet; the balance is changing here so let's see what the market is like in 50 years). - and I'll add that the physical risks to female clients seem greater to me. If things go wrong during the encounter and there's any kind of struggle, women may be less physically able to protect themselves. Even if this risk is minimized with SP references etc., the simple fear of what might happen may dissuade women who otherwise want and can afford the service. But as others note, male escorts find a market in more sexually comfortable cultures, so there's hope yet! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brad 49548 Report post Posted October 29, 2014 Lots of thoughtful responses here, it's been an interesting thread. I am curious about the point that it is because women don't have as much money as men. Not that I'm disagreeing we still live in a society where men tend to be paid more, but wouldn't male for female escorts be likely to charge less if that was the main reason? I mean, if there was a large customer base of women that would seek a male escort if only they could afford it, wouldn't male escorts just be forced to set their rates accordingly? I'd think so, which makes me suspect it's more the other reasons that have been offered. Just a thought. Apologies if my ignorance is showing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cara Silver 32413 Report post Posted October 29, 2014 I think some people just can't wrap their heads around it. I'm one of those people. Maybe it's just that sometimes it takes a long time to get used to stuff. It's not that women can't, shan't, would never do it- I support whatever makes women feel great. To me it's still a very foreign concept. I feel like I should have a better, more in-depth explanation for this but I don't- maybe I'm a doofus? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest *l**e Report post Posted November 1, 2014 to Brad...you're actually not too out of whack on that comment. One of the reasons I charge less than ladies doing the same services as I is that I feel like ladies are less willing to pay as much. This could be because they don't earn as much on average, but it could also be because they just don't value it as highly as men do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NotchJohnson 214136 Report post Posted November 1, 2014 Thank you Summer for starting this fun thread, I'll chime in a bit for the fun of it too. In the funny video you posted I have as a man done most of those thing answered except for kill and die of course. All the answers given are true and I also want to emphasize that if a man of my age was to offer this service I could possibly only have no more then 2 woman a day and with some recoil time in between.....please. Not to be to hard on anybody lets take for example a young man of mid 20's as a male provider and he is offering this service to a lets say 60's lady(she is much older then his mother) could he get the boner required for the service? Maybe not? Could he stand up to the challenge? I will let you decide. He can also advertize as offering to ladies of a certain age only, I don't know. Now lets look at the point were he charges less. He will have to have another job on the side because he will never be able to live with his earnings, just saying. This is just for fun. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xxxAxxx 21016 Report post Posted November 1, 2014 Not to be to hard on anybody lets take for example a young man of mid 20's as a male provider and he is offering this service to a lets say 60's lady(she is much older then his mother) could he get the boner required for the service? Maybe not? Could he stand up to the challenge? I will let you decide. Being a nymphomaniac, I have had the odd "desperate" moment here or there in my life, when I thought to myself "If I don't get the D tonight I am gonna explode" .... I always got the D I wanted. Every single time, it often throws itself at me without my needing to lift a damn finger. That being said, I like to think of myself as a decent enough looking woman. What if I was less "attractive" ?... yes, I would think it would present issues for a man to maintain erection for someone who, like you suggested, is older than his mother or just not physically his "cup of tea".... You know what though? There's medication for that. But then again, I have a number of male friends who have slept with some very questionable ladies here and there, women they claim to not be attracted to whatsoever, and when questioned as to how they could every one of them has informed me they don't need to be attracted to a woman to have sex (especially so if drugs or alcohol are involved, their words not mine). How many times, on other boards that allow "negative reviews", do you see clients speaking negatively towards the SP and yet speak of having gone ahead anyways? Many times. I guess some guys would need attraction to get wood but apparently many don't! lol It all boils down to supply & demand. If there is no supply, I'm willing to bet it's a lack of demand. just food for thought. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loopie 15358 Report post Posted November 1, 2014 I don't think it's a lack of funds, free time, or sexual freedom that's holding back the sex trade from evolving to have more male escorts serving female clients. I think there are couple main gender indentity mindsets that stand in the way. I think our society still has it deeply ingrained that men pursue women and that's how it works. Men are told to pursue women, and seeing a prostitute is another form of that. A man seeing a female prostitute fits with the traditional gender roles that men have the power of initiation and women have the power rejection. Even women who would be considered "empowered modern women" frequently still prefer the man to take the lead in romance. Their romance and sex fantasies revolve around a man pursuing her, not the other way around. I've known countless women who will never make the first move, even if she fancies a man. And going to see a prositute is making a big first move. I think personal safety is also more of a concern for women. Telling nobody where you're going to be alone with a total stranger goes against the safety precautions women are taught since childhood. Men are always told that they can handle themselves and men don't typically fear violence from women. Also, I think women's insecurities get the way of them having sex more than men. A lot women say that they don't have sex because they don't feel sexy. They're embarssed about how they look naked etc. This doesn't seem to be as big an issue for men. These are just some thoughts. I don't mean to offend anybody and I certainly don't think these stereotypes apply to everybody, but I do feel they are factors in why the sex trade is the way it is. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Na****a***mers (RETIRED) Report post Posted November 1, 2014 There are a lot of male escorts at resorts. I've been warned by fellow travelers and propositioned multiple times. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
allansusername 131 Report post Posted November 2, 2014 Sure, but there should still be a significant market for women who want discreet sex. A frustrated married woman can't just head down to the bar and pick up anyone. Shouldn't they represent a huge client base? My thoughts are that if a woman wants sex with discretion, all she needs to do is find a potential partner who also needs discretion. No payment needed. I've met a former male escort and in his experience the highly successful women who hired him were looking for an evening out more than an evening in. Often the evening would end with sex but the reason for the requested companionship usually was to attend an event in which a partner was socially required. He saw more operas than bedrooms. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S****r Report post Posted November 3, 2014 I've met a former male escort and in his experience the highly successful women who hired him were looking for an evening out more than an evening in. Often the evening would end with sex but the reason for the requested companionship usually was to attend an event in which a partner was socially required. He saw more operas than bedrooms. Now THIS I can believe, for sure. Getting free sex is easy--getting someone to go out for a special event--much more difficult. Thanks for the comment. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Na****a***mers (RETIRED) Report post Posted November 4, 2014 My thoughts are that if a woman wants sex with discretion, all she needs to do is find a potential partner who also needs discretion. No payment needed. I've met a former male escort and in his experience the highly successful women who hired him were looking for an evening out more than an evening in. Often the evening would end with sex but the reason for the requested companionship usually was to attend an event in which a partner was socially required. He saw more operas than bedrooms. ! That! Also, there are a lot more Cougars who have a taste for young hunks, and not so many young hot Channing Tatum types dreaming of spending time with older ladies, although they do exist. To each their own, right? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S****r Report post Posted November 24, 2014 ! That! Also, there are a lot more Cougars who have a taste for young hunks, and not so many young hot Channing Tatum types dreaming of spending time with older ladies, although they do exist. To each their own, right? Just came back to add the title of a relevant movie I am watching right now called Fading Gigolo. It is humourous and touching and thought provoking. :-) Noticed the comment above and have to add that perhaps many of you would be surprised at how many young hot Channing Tatum types ARE out there dreaming of spending time with older ladies. Even before I went into escorting, I used to get hit on all the time by young guys. Needless to say, (perhaps) many of my escorting clients are guys of a much lower age than myself. So I would beg to differ on that comment. hahaha The word censor substituted some words here that make this sound funny: youthful Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Na****a***mers (RETIRED) Report post Posted November 25, 2014 Just came back to add the title of a relevant movie I am watching right now called Fading Gigolo. It is humourous and touching and thought provoking. :-) Noticed the comment above and have to add that perhaps many of you would be surprised at how many young hot Channing Tatum types ARE out there dreaming of spending time with older ladies. Even before I went into escorting, I used to get hit on all the time by young guys. Needless to say, (perhaps) many of my escorting clients are guys of a much lower age than myself. So I would beg to differ on that comment. hahaha The word censor substituted some words here that make this sound funny: youthful What I meant to say was that there are a lot more older men looking for younger women, than younger men looking for older women. Came out wrong. I know a few bars/clubs that are known as cougar bars and are quite popular! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
innocent77 110 Report post Posted November 26, 2014 Technically men are also extremely fussy over sexual partners, its not a slam dunk to be a female, um, non-sexual, um, "companion". Besides, if you want to pay a man for time and companionship, just go to the hospital and see a psych. With the exception of schizophrenia, there is no mental illness, so basically your just paying for a friend, similar to a guy who would pay, sometimes, just to talk to a hot women doctor. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Charlotte Edwards 8590 Report post Posted November 26, 2014 I also find this true for male strippers. I have a particular type of man that I am solely physically attracted to, and I just don't see much available in way of male strippers or male escorts, so I was never inclined to use one. There are far less guys doing this as well because they can find high paying jobs anyway, and perhaps not as many need to get into this industry to make a living. Less demand, less need for this career. And not to mention that the ones who would see more success would most likely be bisexual or gay. It's a shame, I still have yet to find my own Channing Tatum look a like. :P When I was younger and visited some male strip clubs, they were more interested in men than I was them so that was a little disappointing as well lol. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Na****a***mers (RETIRED) Report post Posted November 26, 2014 When you find a Chaning Tatum lookalike, can we share? Pretty please? ;) I also find this true for male strippers. I have a particular type of man that I am solely physically attracted to, and I just don't see much available in way of male strippers or male escorts, so I was never inclined to use one. There are far less guys doing this as well because they can find high paying jobs anyway, and perhaps not as many need to get into this industry to make a living. Less demand, less need for this career. And not to mention that the ones who would see more success would most likely be bisexual or gay. It's a shame, I still have yet to find my own Channing Tatum look a like. :P When I was younger and visited some male strip clubs, they were more interested in men than I was them so that was a little disappointing as well lol. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites