Racism from Providers

[SassiesWorld 12587]

if I may ... I would like to put a different spin on this ... for the most part it is just a matter of what a sp is attracted to ... they do not need to try new ethnicities to know if they are attracted to them ... this is not food we are talking about....

Also ... please do not tell me hobbyist do not also book based on attraction .... if they are not attracted to a BBW for instance ... they will not book with her ... is this racism ???? I think not !!!

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

I can sense my opinion will be unpopular.

 

What if a restaurant says "we won't serve Black people"? What if a bank says "we don't accept Aboriginal clients"? What if a movie theatre says "we don't sell tickets to Jews"?

 

In none of those cases would we say "that's just personal preference, they can deal with who they want". In fact we have specifically passed laws called Human Rights Act which prohibit anyone providing a service from claiming to provide those services based on a personal preference where it relates to race, or colour, or ethnic origin, and so on.

 

I'm perfectly willing to agree that the services a "service provider" in this business provides are different from most, but not so different that this general rule does not apply. And sure, there are exceptions - a church is entitled to insist that its priest be Catholic, its ok to have both boys and girls soccer teams - but I don't see why there would be an exception here.

 

It's true, a person who is simply choosing sexual partners is absolutely free to indulge whatever private opinions they might have. If CERB were a dating site, there'd be no issue whatsoever. But when someone has entered into a business, rather than personally seeking pleasure, well, then yes, different rules apply - the ones that apply to anyone engaged in business. It is extraordinarily unlikely anyone would ever make a Human Rights Act complaint about this, but that doesn't mean it isn't wrong.

 

I have seen ads which say things like "I don't want any drama, so no Arabs or Indians". Personally I cross those SPs off my list, though I'm neither Arab nor Indian, just as I would refuse to frequent any other business which discriminates unlawfully.

 

Until such time that we are regulated by the federal or provincial government, the human rights laws do not apply. You might want to read up on the human rights laws.

 

I understand what you are saying, but these laws do not apply. We are not a public service, open to the public. Our service is unlike any other industry and we need to remember that.

 

I don't like the "no blacks guys" ads either. However, I know a lady who was being stalked by a former boyfriend. He would follow her across the country, stalk her, beat her and terrorize her. The only way she knew how to keep herself safe was to say no black men. Sad, but she had no other choice other then to leave the industry.

 

The day I am forced to see someone I don't want to see because someone claims discrimination, I will scream to the mountains.

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

I find some arguments pretty interesting

If I were to discriminate races it's okay to do it with the excuse of my boyfriend is Haitian so I do not See Haitian men but it's not okay to say I prefer no meeting such and such race because I'm not confortable ?

I think se have to respect each choices even though we don't understand or agree

I work in Asia where I saw black African American stripper get refuse to a table because she was too dark..they even lift their like stop sign to avoid her getting too close..I was upset to see that, however it's their choices..I may not understand or like it but it's their choices

When guys hire us..They have preferences do we call them racist or asshole because he like to spend his money on a small spinner Asian

While I Choose to see all without discriminate I do respect the choice of other to do it

[craig101 3213]

Some providers are racist. Why are we all dancing around this?

As some posters have already stated I'm sure a few of them have some non racist reasons for putting " NO BLACKS" etc... in their adds but at the end of the day there are WAY to many adds like this to be justified. I literally counted over 50 in one day on back page.

Are we really talking about preference? I never see adds that say

 

No fatties or guys over 300 pounds

No bald guys

Please have your teeth

Wear nice clothes

Must be over 6 feet!

Please have a cut cock

Please don't have a cut cock

Etc.....

 

I thought the only thing that mattered was

 

Be respectful

Have good Hygiene

 

I think too now say that these girls are merely exercising their " preferences" is disingenuous and not honest to the discussion. I realize there are exceptions and everything is not always black or white. ( no pun intended ) but one must assume a majority of these women have racial issues.

 

Again, I'm sure some girls have valid reasons that are not racial but we must acknowledge that racism does exist here and not try to brush all of this under the rug.

 

I also think its important for me to state that I believe that a lady has a 100 percent right to refuse anyone she wants. Its her decision! Period! Whether I personally agree or not.

 

I also think that this is not as much of a problem here on Cerb as I have found in my experience that the ladies here are professional with class.

[Andee 220524]

Some providers are racist. Why are we all dancing around this?

As some posters have already stated I'm sure a few of them have some non racist reasons for putting " NO BLACKS" etc... in their adds but at the end of the day there are WAY to many adds like this to be justified. I literally counted over 50 in one day on back page.

 

I think too now say that these girls are merely exercising their " preferences" is disingenuous and not honest to the discussion. I realize there are exceptions and everything is not always black or white. ( no pun intended ) but one must assume a majority of these women have racial issues.

 

Let's not dance around the issue then.

 

Maybe some of these ladies are racist, but I would dare to guess it's more like the "majority of these women" probably have husbands, boyfriends or handlers who are black and so that makes seeing other black men a no no. Period.

 

And as a rule they tend to advertise on places like BP, which is why you will see so many of those types of ads.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Let's not dance around the issue then.

 

Maybe some of these ladies are racist, but I would dare to guess it's more like the "majority of these women" probably have husbands, boyfriends or handlers who are black and so that makes seeing other black men a no no. Period.

 

And as a rule they tend to advertise on places like BP, which is why you will see so many of those types of ads.

 

Thank-you. I have seen this before on that site too many times over the last few years and I cannot believe that all women could be so racist. From what I have witnessed over there, this isn't even about racism at all where the SP is concerned. It may be more of a territorial issue where some men may not be welcome.

 

It happened to a client of mine and he is black and was refused at the door. I explained to him the possibilities of why the appointment was declined and he was then able to move on from it.

 

Yes saying that in an ad definitely comes across as racist but I think in many of these situations it goes way beyond that. I don't want to expand on my theories and don't want to generalize but some may not even be making their own personal choices as to who they want to see and don't want to see.

[Ice4fun 78407]

I kinda feel there are enough haters out there willing to degrade and beat up on sex workers without having to see people who participate in this industry do so within this forum... what exactly are we trying to accomplish with this thread for fuck sake this issue has been beaten to death. This industry is a microcosm of the rest of society... we will have the same traits as the rest of society... good and bad. Are there racist SP's and clients yes... is everything described in this thread racism no. Let's give it a rest.

 

I have played in this industry for a long long time... more regularly in the last few years but my experience is that the people who work in the Sex Industry are probably the most open to diversity than any other group.

 

Just my opinion

[fortunateone 156618]

Thank-you. I have seen this before on that site too many times over the last few years and I cannot believe that all women could be so racist. From what I have witnessed over there, this isn't even about racism at all where the SP is concerned. It may be more of a territorial issue where some men may not be welcome.

 

It happened to a client of mine and he is black and was refused at the door. I explained to him the possibilities of why the appointment was declined and he was then able to move on from it.

 

Yes saying that in an ad definitely comes across as racist but I think in many of these situations it goes way beyond that. I don't want to expand on my theories and don't want to generalize but some may not even be making their own personal choices as to who they want to see and don't want to see.

 

 

 

There is also this HUGE assumption that all the sps all the time post all their own ads. And when you see something like that disclaimer in an ad, for the reason you have presented here, I would say 99% of the time this is not the personal preference of the sp, and she is not determining who she sees, nor what is in her ads.

 

I find this lack of understanding on the part of new sps and newer to this clients to be something worth educating them on, but then we also run the risk of letting them all assume that any sp with that in her ad is being pimped out by a stereotypical black pimp dude, and that also may not be the case.

 

Not to mention, now we get the racist label for presenting that as the reason, because they simply don't believe it, they don't know this history, and it seems incomprehensible to them in this day and age. So put simple and in stereotypes, tradtional pimps FORBID their sps from seeing black clients, no exceptions, on pain of getting seriously beaten. If people prefer to think badly of the sp, believe me, it is nothing compared to what she could go thru if a black client shows up in spite of her ad, and she also feels pressured to 'make that money'.

 

If being thought of as a redneck racist keeps her safe, then by all means, I'm all about everyone assuming she's a redneck racist, as long as that means all potential clients of colour do not show up at her door.

[Haileygirl89 1389]

I don't think anyone can say for sure whether the provider really is racist, it's a preference thing, or if it is just about the small ethnic community's within the city. I don't really think it matters either, because chances are no SP is going to come out and admit they are racist. The beauty of this job however is that and especially for independent girls they have the right to choose. I personally am an equal opportunist and age,race,religion...whatever doesn't matter. But to those women who have limitations with a certain race have the right to put those boundaries up, as this is a job where comfort in both parties is key. I've seen the ads that state "no black clients" and at first I found it very off putting and strange. But after thinking about it, I basically just came to realize that boundaries are important and Atleast the SP chooses to be honest about it from the get go. It's one of those things where the only explanation I can rly justify this type of discussion is "it is what it is". It happens and no amount of discussion will really get to the bottom of it, so might as well accept that some people have these boundaries and others don't. Just like some girls provide certain services and others don't, it's at the discretion of the provider because like I stated earlier comfort is key! Just wanted to add my two cents even though everything's pretty much been said. Stay positive friends <3

[Kate von Katz 49953]

This is a polarizing issue, I think. It's easy to say it's preference and it's easy to say it's racism. At the end of the day, you just have to believe that ladies are not racist - though some may be.

 

Funny anecdote: I had a client in Ottawa not long before I left who was French Canadian. Suffice to say he was not a nice gentlemen and I asked him to leave not long after he arrived. He called me a racist because he's French. The guy honestly had no idea that he was an asshole, and thought I was a Francophobic Anglophone. Goes to show that once you decide that something is what you think it is, it's hard to change that opinion. Cognitive bias is a real thing hardwired into everyone's brain, afterall.

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

Lol funny you say that..I use to avoid booking french guys..not anymore but use to for various reasons..Am I racist?

[peacectryguy 12547]

I'm with Ice4fun, this issue gets beaten to death, not just here but all through society. That's not to say racism doesn't exist and be in denial. Racism will always be a part of human nature. It's not going to end because we open up and "talk" about it. Lets just admit that is is a human failing and move on. Whatever the person who says "no blacks or whatever race" in her ad, that's her deal and none of my business.

[roamingguy 300292]

Well I said right at the outset this topic is always heated, apparently with no right answer. This is the third thread on this topic, and I guess I was right

Let's see now, I won't see girls who are teenagers (18-19) and early twenties. Guess I'm guilty of age discrimination

Hmmm, I won't see gay male SP's...does that make me homophobic or does it make me a heterosexual man.

Anyhow, I'll see who I'm comfortable seeing. As should everyone. And isn't it preferable to know ahead of time whether a lady or gentlemen will enjoy your company rather than show up and find out she/he doesn't like your company for whatever reason

No not defending racism, it's ugly and indefensible. But instead of having a date with someone who doesn't wish to see you for whatever reason, see someone who will offer you the companionship you want and deserve

Put another way why would a client give his hard earned money to a lady who doesn't want to see him, and not date (and pay) a lady who would like to see him that night. The one really being shortchanged here is the client's ideal companion, who he doesn't see

A rambling

 

RG

[cinelli 22184]

Why are these guys so argumentive about an SP not wanting to see them?

 

If you are browbeating a lady into seeing you, or you arrive with a chip on your shoulder it is not going to be a great session.

 

Instead of arguing and insulting a lady because she does not want to see you go see someone who WANTS to see you.

[Guest Na****a***mers (RETIRED)]

The poster above said it well. Clients also choose to see a lady they prefer over others (longer hair, colour of skin, nationality, etc.)

 

There are more than enough choices in Toronto. It's the melting pot!

[squirtingmilf 1982]

I don't see really young guys, because I have sons in their 20's and one of their friends could show up at my door, I'd rather pass on that possible outcome. One time I was working in Calgary, a guy called me to prearrange an appointment for the next morning. The next morning I show up and a young pimple faced kid answers the door and I'm like, think I got the wrong house and he's like no I had my friend call you. I'm super uncomfortable at that point but proceeded anyway, asked him for ID, the whole nine. That was the MOST uncomfortable session I ever had and I've dealt with my fair share of weirdness in the almost 30 yrs I've been working and I gave him some advice while I was leaving and told him to ensure that next time he tells a lady how old he is.

 

Something else to add to this with the ethnicity aspects, I don't think it's anyone's business to judge anyone else for not wanting to see certain ethnicities people have a right to refuse anyone they don't want to see. Just like pooners have the right not see someone either for whatever reasons. And some people get really rude and ignorant, even threatening when they are refused service during the screening process. And when some people think they are entitled to service just because they have money, I'll pass on that, as well as their condescending attitudes with yelling at you on the phone and YES people do that to some of us. There's nothing like getting a one word text RATES!!! AVAILABLE???

[Guest *SS F***y]

It is a personal preference, rather than being racist, or anything else. Just because we've chosen to be in this profession, which by the way, we are lucky that we can choose to be, rather than, in some parts of the world, it's forced on them, for survival, or any other reason.

But whether it be color, age, even what profession the client, or prospective client is in, we have the right to refuse, without having to give them any long, drawn out reason. All he has to do is move on down the line, to a more accommodating SP, instead of try and give us grief about our decision.

[craig101 3213]

Racial preferences reduce people to their ethnicity and reinforce racial hierarchies by insinuating that race alone is a powerful enough factor to negate everything else that someone has to offer.

 

Claiming that someone is unworthy of associating with you because of race and hiding behind the flimsy excuse of sexual tastes or lack of hypothetical romantic chemistry is racist.

 

Some preferences are fine.

 

Blanket assumptions based on race, ethnicity, and culture, particularly when these qualities are perceived as inherent deal breakers in forming a potential relationship, are not.

[squirtingmilf 1982]

I'm going to add some information to give some enlightenment a bit further. I've been working in this industry for almost 30 years, I've also been a member and moderator of a few ladies lounges.

 

So let me ask those of you who claim that it's not appropriate to not see members of a certain ethnicity, if you had statistical data of lets say the following;

 

-rude and verbally abusive clients

-clients that ask for bbfs

-clients that have very poor hygiene and refuse to shower

-clients that repeatedly do no-shows

-clients that have the highest tendency to do walks outs

-clients that are aggressive and physically abusive

-clients that have the highest tendency to haggle or name their own price

 

And lets say for arguments sake they were all of one ethnicity and a certain age bracket. Would you want to waste your time allowing that to continue when you net pretty much zero income from that ethnicity anyway or would you just scrap the idea altogether?

 

My personal screening process is based on attitude. However, I'm just trying to bring in a new perspective as to WHY there is a VERY great possibility that some ladies will not see certain ethnicities either.

[Amber Rose 19012]

Everyone is different and experiences different things, so if one lady experiences all of the items from the list above from mainly coloured men, then sure, I can see why she'd generalize them and become a bit biased. But in my short time escorting, the most unsavory, rude, unhygenic, and just all-around not pleasant have been white men, so why are they not targeted in ads? Perhaps I'm experiencing a different side of people, but just about all of the men of colour I've met have been nothing but nice, clean, and respectful.

 

If we're going by statistical data, I might argue that white men should be the ones SP's are refusing(which they will never do as white men are pretty much the majority).

Posted via Mobile Device

[squirtingmilf 1982]

Everyone is different and experiences different things, so if one lady experiences all of the items from the list above from mainly coloured men, then sure, I can see why she'd generalize them and become a bit biased. But in my short time escorting, the most unsavory, rude, unhygenic, and just all-around not pleasant have been white men, so why are they not targeted in ads? Perhaps I'm experiencing a different side of people, but just about all of the men of colour I've met have been nothing but nice, clean, and respectful.

 

If we're going by statistical data, I might argue that white men should be the ones SP's are refusing(which they will never do as white men are pretty much the majority).

Posted via Mobile Device

 

 

It would depend on what city you are living in and some cities have much higher ratios of certain ethnicities than others do and the data is based on several sp's experiences via ladies lounges, not just one ladies experience.

 

My point is, that some people are suggesting that a decision was made to not see certain ethnicities due to a sole ladies personal preference when in fact that may not be the case at all.

 

White is an ethnicity and my data could be about them. I'm not going to say which it is, however, I can't say to those of you that have problematic issues with white men in Eastern provinces that your choice not to see them wouldn't be justified, if you so chose to do that. Just like you can't say if some lady in a western province makes a decision not to see brown guys because the majority of problematic clients are brown.

 

I've worked in almost every province in Canada, so my data is not limited.

[xxxAxxx 21016]

But in my short time escorting, the most unsavory, rude, unhygenic, and just all-around not pleasant have been white men, so why are they not targeted in ads? Perhaps I'm experiencing a different side of people, but just about all of the men of colour I've met have been nothing but nice, clean, and respectful.

 

 

My own personal top 10 "worst dates" list consists of only caucasian clients.

Will I stop seeing all white men because of this? No.

Could I deny my services to them, if I wanted to? Yes.

Would it make me racist if I did? No.

[craig101 3213]

I'm going to add some information to give some enlightenment a bit further. I've been working in this industry for almost 30 years, I've also been a member and moderator of a few ladies lounges.

 

So let me ask those of you who claim that it's not appropriate to not see members of a certain ethnicity, if you had statistical data of lets say the following;

 

-rude and verbally abusive clients

-clients that ask for bbfs

-clients that have very poor hygiene and refuse to shower

-clients that repeatedly do no-shows

-clients that have the highest tendency to do walks outs

-clients that are aggressive and physically abusive

-clients that have the highest tendency to haggle or name their own price

 

And lets say for arguments sake they were all of one ethnicity and a certain age bracket. Would you want to waste your time allowing that to continue when you net pretty much zero income from that ethnicity anyway or would you just scrap the idea altogether?

 

My personal screening process is based on attitude. However, I'm just trying to bring in a new perspective as to WHY there is a VERY great possibility that some ladies will not see certain ethnicities either.

 

This line of thinking by definition is pure racism.

[squirtingmilf 1982]

This line of thinking by definition is pure racism.

 

That's your opinion and you're entitled to it, but I disagree and let me clarify this is collective data from a couple hundred ladies, NOT just one. If there are possible risks that involve a ladies SAFETY and if she can reduce those risks, that is her right do so and half those points are safety risks, some more serious than others. You're also on the other side of the phone and process, numbers don't lie. Your concern as a client is how a lady treats you and the clients she does choose to see is it not? I think you would be very shocked at how some people act and speak towards ladies. If 3 out of 4 men of a certain ethnicity asked for BBFS between the ages of 27 to 40, that's a very dangerous number to be playing with and I can tell you in one city, that does happen. Risk is higher in some cities based on numbers and sorry if you think it's racist, but unless you experience it firsthand you really have no right to pass judgement wherein a lady may be putting her safety at risk. Safety is always a number one priority.

 

For the record craig and to those reading, I'm certainly not saying that ladies should make a generalization of certain ethnicities across Canada, that would be racist imho. I'm saying wherein some cities the risk of potential harm can be reduced then ladies should do what they feel is best for them and judgement shouldn't be passed.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

I usually try to stay away from these threads for the reasons that they become hostile, judgemental and each city stats are quite different.

 

I think because of certain stigmas, it's not wise for me to respond but I deserve to have a voice in this being an ebony/native companion. I do receive enough hate mail and prank calls due to my race daily, weekly or whenever an actual racist chooses to harass me, so I am always hesitant to even read these threads and respond.

 

When I see ads on other sites the first thing that comes to my mind is, when will I see a new thread appear.

 

In Halifax, I can understand a local lady putting such a disclaimer up but that is hopefully her choice and Halifax/Nova Scotia is not that big, someone knows a friend of a friend or cousin or family member.

 

I never see these types of disclaimers as racist, unless you can read minds you will never know 100% why a lady has put this in their ad.

The lady is entitled to see whomever she chooses.

 

I pick and choose who I meet and not just because I was contacted, I have the final say.

 

Now on the other hand, I have been told that some clients enjoy seeing such disclaimers due to their "so called preferences" and know said companion does not see a certain race.

Many providers can tell by posting history, there is more to it besides a clients "preference". As we can read between lines and have been for a long time.

 

I have no race or major preference besides being 19+, be respectful, kind and everything a companion seeks in a great client(s). I put my real age in my ads/website for my own client preference and that has nothing to do with race, I want to know who is contacting me is seeking a youthful, mature companion in her early 30's. I have been ID'd on a number of occasions.

 

I don't have a personal race preference in my personal life but have dated more white, native, bi-racial (black & white) and a mix of all three.

 

Do I think black/brown men are any less attractive or less greater partners than white men? NO.

 

No matter the race, when we get cut we all bleed the same colour.

 

I just haven't met a black/brown man who is not from Halifax and either a family member or knows my family and the list goes on.

 

Honestly, I'm loving being single after being with and then married to a white man for half my life.

 

I can state that I have never met a client who was brown/black ask for BBFS, negotiate or try/attempt to put me in harms way. I can not say this to be the case for anyone I have not met.

 

That is my contribution to this dead beaten horse thread #3 on the same topic.

 

I try my best not to put myself in such threads with such negativity and judgement.

 

I'm far from new to the industry and have years of experience and I certainly did not respond to argue or be drawn in to any of this negative, judgmental drama.

 

The bottom line is, the lady is entitle to pick and chose who she meets and doesn't. It's her body and her rules.

 

All my love and support to all,

Lexy