Tips on choosing a divorce lawyer

[ulixestrojan 3757]

After years of co-dependency, I have decided to start over.

 

Any suggestions on picking a divorce lawyer?

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Find some guy that got taken to the cleaners by his ex - and then hire her lawyer.

 

In all seriousness - situation sucks but try mediation. So much of the divorce stuff is covered by law anyway. You can waste a lot of $$$ on lawyers that can be better used on other things...

[Old Dog 179138]

No lawyers here in Ottawa that I know... someone else will have to help with that.

 

Just remember... be fair... not just to the future ex, but to yourself as well. So many of us will do ANYTHING to get out of a toxic relationship, much of the time to our own detriment.

 

Step back, assess and then make a decision.

 

Best of luck.

[Guest f***2f***]

After years of co-dependency, I have decided to start over.

 

Any suggestions on picking a divorce lawyer?

 

Try Collaborative Law....google it....you'll save yourself a piss pot

[antlerman 17064]

Find some guy that got taken to the cleaners by his ex - and then hire her lawyer.

....................quote]

 

exatly what I did...........works

 

but like the others have said...try to work it out without lawyers first...then see one lawyer at the end to finalize it all........alot cheaper and most often easier...

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

Sorry to hear this ulixestrojan :(

 

My partner just went through a nasty divorce/custody/support battle that lasted almost a decade. I would recommend doing as much research as possible and seeing a lawyer so you know your rights, and then trying to settle things with a mediator. It really is the best option if you can make it work.

 

Also, ottawadivorce.com is a great website and has a great forum too!

 

Best of luck.

[Guest s******ecan****]

 

In all seriousness - situation sucks but try mediation. So much of the divorce stuff is covered by law anyway. You can waste a lot of $$$ on lawyers that can be better used on other things...

 

 

This is great advice OFO. I have not been divorced but my brother has (twice) sister has, best friend (twice), and wife's best friend.

 

Those who went the mediation route or who tried to work out as much of the settlement between themselves (use email if you can't stand being in the same room or talking on the phone) first and left the document and court filings up to the lawyers, were much happier with the process and also spent far less on legal issues.

 

Those who went the advesarial route didn't get any advantage or a better settlement, it just took longer, was more stressful and painful, and cost a lot more.

 

Its a myth that there is super smart lawyer out there who can lay waste to your Ex. OFO is right when he says much of the settlement is already pre-determined by formulas, or standards.

[Guest c******n****h]

You will absolutely need to involve a lawyer at some point. My suggestion would be as others have said to try and settle as much as possible between yourselves. If you hit a sticking point, I would try mediation. You both split the the cost of the time spent with the mediator. It helps if you have done some research to see where you stand before going in. If you are way off base, the mediator will tell you, and try to bring you closer to the middle.

 

In terms of lawyers, I would suggest Kathryn D'Artois or Hunter Phillips. Both are excellent and specialize in matrimonial cases. They are often very busy, and not cheap. If you are worried about getting screwed by your ex, then these are the two that will best represent you. Of course there are many other very good lawyers in town, but these are the two that are well known and very well respected.

[Mikeyboy 27133]

No advice as I have not (yet) been down that road. Just best wishes. Good luck ulixestrojan.

[Gazou 100]

I've been on that road for 8 years now. First started with mediation, hen my ex got herself a lawyer who did not want to deal with me directly. So I felt I had to get a lawyer (big mistake). The two of them have been playing with us for the last 6 years.

 

Both my ex and I have spent about $50k on this nonesense.

 

My advice to you is, read up about what it means to get separated / divorced. For starters, don't expect a fair outcome - you will see that the system is not in your favor (if you are the guy). If you have children, it can get more complicated. Be ready to leave a few things behind.

[Guest P*rry]

Like Ulixestrojan, my life appears to be going in a new direction. I found the divorce tips in the thread useful. I'd be grateful to know if there are new suggestions, updates, and/or tips. For now, I'm looking at a legal separation. Thank you.

[cat 262460]

First, I'm sorry or congratulations, whichever applies. The first thing is to make a list of the top 10 divorce firms in the city then go for a consultation WITH ALL OF THEM! That ensures your soon to be ex won't be able to retain them. This is an incredibly valuable move...

 

cat

[muncher459 1040]

Sorry to hear of you situation, just going thru it myself, for what ever reason one chooses this solution it is still a difficult decision to make.

 

What my wife I have done was to sit down put together a proposal of how we wanted property to be split up, (no children, so a much simpler situation)and how to deal with pensions....and really this stuff is governed by law. She then took it to a lawyer, he advised her, they made some minor changes that did not change the spirit of the proposal. I then took it my lawyer ....she did question if this was what I really wanted, but accepted it. and now it it being formally sent to do what ever legal hocus pocus needs to be done to make it a legal separation. One thing you must remember is that what ever lawyer you choose, make it clear that they are working for you and to give you advice and prepare the documents to be sent to the court. That being said, weight their advice carefully-because sometime we do give up too much to the other because of emotional baggage. But do not let them start an adversarial war. Oh...one more thing, be nice and co-operative with your partner and don't openly start screwing around until after you have a legal separation.....pissed off partners don't make life easy when it comes time to negotiate deals.

 

 

Just my personal perspective, and like ever other piece of advice use at your own caution

[Guest P*rry]

Sorry to hear this ulixestrojan :(

 

My partner just went through a nasty divorce/custody/support battle that lasted almost a decade. I would recommend doing as much research as possible and seeing a lawyer so you know your rights' date=' and then trying to settle things with a mediator. It really is the best option if you can make it work.

 

Also, ottawadivorce.com is a great website and has a great forum too!

 

Best of luck.[/quote']

 

Megan: Your post may be dated; however, the contents are still valid.

After a failed reconciliation my spouse and I are separating. Partner refuses to try mediation. I find the recommended site to be excellent.

 

To all: I'm looking for an Ottawa-based family law lawyer. Please PM me with any suggestions? Thank you.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

If you're going through a nasty one...

 

Galarneau & Associates...Susan Galarneau... very good attorney or should I say "shark". She will eat your ex for breakfast ( and not in the way you would dream of lol), I should know...My sister's ex hired her and screwed her over.

[oldblueeyez 15475]

Sorry to hear about that, Joseph. It's not much fun at all. I guess if she's refusing mediation, then she too refuses to talk/email one-on-one to settle things before lawyering up?

 

Get professionally informed and get an idea of how it's going to go down, then try to work out a reasonable settlement with her. Divorce lawyers, or any lawyers for that matter, are not happy when you come to them and say,

"Look, we've worked it all out and we need you to do this for us." (Ask me how I know, lol). I had to fire a lawyer who tried to get me all antagonistic and hire one who would just do what I damn well told her to. Remember, you're THE BOSS and the lawyer is the HIRED HELP who WORKS FOR YOU!

 

If you have school-age kids and she doesn't have a job but is accustomed to living well at home and you have a very nice salary, I'm afraid to say, prepare to be deballed.

[Guest jake_cdn]

Get someone who is honest with you. I bounced around between a number of lawyers who only told me what I wanted to hear and the bill just ran up.

 

Understand the law in Canada before you engage a lawyer so that you know what you are up against before hiring someone. The objective in Canada is to minimize the impact on the judicial system. Be prepared to divide everything equally unless there has been a pre-nup.

 

I was in a situation where my wife left me and I thought that it may make a difference to my settlement.

 

Because of my assets and monetary standing my lawyer simply said "you are screwed". Give half and get out of it quickly. He said this so I did not drive up the bills that he was going to have to charge me if I contested things.

 

Understand your assets and propose a settlement. The lawyer should really only be there to help you draw up the appropriate paperwork so that the agreement is ironclad.

 

I said to my lawyer that if I proposed a settlement based on his approval and my ex-wife came back after me at a later date then I was going to sue him. I drew up a document saying exactly that and had him sign it and had it notarized.

 

Remember you are in control of the proposal and lawyer should be used to ensure that the legal documentation is in place.

 

One piece of advice that I was given and it is true to this day is that just because lawyers are well educated, it does not mean that all lawyers work in your best interest. There are good lawyers and there are bad ones. Chose wisely and do not blindly trust him/her.

 

Best of luck !