Looking for a SP - but NOT what you are thinking...

[PistolPete 61421]

Well said Victoria, now the thought of a strip tease, wrestling and perhaps Indian leg wrestling would be a blast with you :) the full service with you, I know is mind blowing too:bowdown:

[Carrie Moon 68826]

 

One of the reasons i hate the term sp...i rather like being called an escort or companion.

I know right? service provider.. I can't help but think of my ISP. so clinical!

 

While the OP had the right to request a particular service i found some of his posts offensives;I don't think it is fair to decide what is less or more work as activities...

 

This was one of the things I found offensive too.. I mean we all get emails/texts/phone calls asking if hey.. I only want a blowjob or massage/handjob. Have you got a better rate for that? I always say 'have a nice day' and promptly hang up. I mean where does it say I'm a used car for sale.. and best offer will do?

 

I realize it's common place for some girls to offer reduced rates much like a massage parlour.. because in most cases massage parlours do not even offer fullservice.. But personally I've always been a full service girl. Hey. I like sex. so sue me! :bddog:

 

A good friend of mine consistently gets calls from guys saying.. are you busy? when she says no.. they ask if you're not busy would you like to just hang with me til you get a call? I have beer! come on over.

 

Seriously...

 

Now the op at least was offering to pay a reduced rate for the time spent when one is not busy.. and it's better than nothing eh?

 

I would imagine since it's a filler appt he is also okay with something at the last minute bumping your appt who is willing to pay the lady's full rate.

 

.So it doesnt matter if we play scrabble,strip-tease,wrestling ,have full service during our time together it remain the same rate. VJ

 

I actually had a wonderful client play strip poker with me to start off the date! I howled with delight during the game. The sex afterwards was very enjoyable afterwards as well :)

[Royalfun 55449]

I personaly side on Emma post as someone pay for my time..not the service...So it doesnt matter if we play scrabble,strip-tease,wrestling ,have full service during our time together it remain the same rate. VJ

 

Since I began this hobby, it's clear for me that when I ask an appt. from an "escort" or a "courtisan", it is to be with her, all her, and I pay for her time. And I always like the idea to pay at the beginning, so the "business" aspect of the encounter is behind us, putting all the possibilities in front of us.

 

Calculating, negociating, having X Y Z expectations, having some goals, imposing a certain level of performance, are, for me, a killer of the encounter. For me, the real luxury is to let this special time with this special "courtisan" go with my feeling of the moment; sometime to have torrid sex, sometime a relaxing and cosy moment with a glass of wine, good music and a deep conversation, or ... who knows ?

 

So the issue of the rates or donations rely on the free choice of the lady.

[Andee 220524]

I personally think it was just a misunderstanding on all sides. I don't know if anybody deserves a time out, but you're the mod :)

 

I don't think bcb quite understood what Carrie was trying to say, so chose to get offended instead.

 

I did not find his original few posts offensive, but I can completely see how they may have been misunderstood. Every girl works differently, and has different rates for things. What he was asking for is just as sexual as my massage rate. However my massage rate is my social rate, seeing as how recession or not, I am busy enough I don't need to make less than $150/hr.

 

Additional Comments:

I personally think it was just a misunderstanding on all sides. I don't know if anybody deserves a time out, but you're the mod :)

 

I don't think bcb quite understood what Carrie was trying to say, so chose to get offended instead.

 

I did not find his original few posts offensive, but I can completely see how they may have been misunderstood. Every girl works differently, and has different rates for things. What he was asking for is just as sexual as my massage rate. However my massage rate is my social rate, seeing as how recession or not, I am busy enough I don't need to make less than $150/hr.

 

If there was a misunderstanding, BCB was the author of this own fate. If he misunderstood Carrie, he chose to, because then he'd have to admit perhaps her post had merit and he wasn't about to do that. He wanted what he wanted and he wanted everyone else to agree with him, otherwise he was taking his ball and going home. (Which the MOD most dutifully did for him).

 

He started off with a certain definition of what he was looking for which was basically snuggling. Then he threw in the comment about "in these recessionary times", implying that he was doing us a favour by creating this new "niche in the market" (borrowed the term from another SP). Like, hey buddy, that's up to the ladies to define what they consider to be "social" or "regular time".

 

For example, guys like Pistol Pete may be a jokster, but you never hear of him questioning or quibbling over a lady's rates. He's a respectful, not manipulative, so that's why if he made a comment like maybe we should pay him, we would probably laugh, not be offended, because there isn't that underlying hidden agenda going on to get something for nothing.

 

 

Then BCB's definition went from snuggling to something totally different including nudity and more intimate/physical touching than was originally described. physical contact..thus blurring the lines even more. Then he implies that perhaps he's so good, that we if if went further, we SHOULD pay him.

This was where the train derailed.

 

I believe this is why people got pissed off and felt like he was manipulating...not onlyfor the service he was trying to acquire at a cheaper rate, but also trying to steer the thread back to him by attacking anyone who challenged him.

 

Although perhaps a bit harsh, once made to look like the buffoon he was, he then promptly attacked Carrie back and more fiercely while obviously trying to maintain his "I'm such a good guy image" intact. But nobody was buying it by then, including myself. So then he went crying to the MOD, oh, Carrie hit me in the sandbox and has turned all the other kids against me. Boo hoo hoo.

 

BCB derailed the the train and then blamed everyone else on board for the mess.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

gosh darn it...as usual I missed something here...gotta go back and read from the beginning (when sober LOL) ahhh tomorrow is another day!

PS...just kidding.....short attention span. i gotta stop reading every 3rd line like I did in school! This is way more interesting!

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

I can't believe I read the whole thing. :shock:

 

I'll throw my penny in, it's not quite worth 2cents but hey anyone still reading might appreciate a little extra coin for their efforts thus far.

 

I believe a part of the issue is that there is an assumption that all ladies provide the same types of services but the reality is we don't. Some ladies offer very specific sexual services as a main priority and others place the focus on the companionship and some comfortably go between the two. They are two very different business models and two very different providers and asking one to provide the other is the same as going into a Tim Hortons and asking for a steak, likely you are going to be stared at by a confused counter person and if you do receive your steak you won't be happy with it. Now it's believable that someone from another country may not know what's on the menu at a Tims and therefor they are asking simply because they don't know any different and asking is the only way they are going to find what they are really looking for, which I believe a lot of clients fall into this category. They don't have the industry knowledge to understand that not all companions are the same and don't know where to go for a specific style of service (or why they are not receiving what they want from the ladies they see).

 

Many women don't provide cuddling, outside encounters, etc. they prefer to offer a no strings 30min (or 1 hour) date, they are comfortable with the parameters and they enjoy it. Other ladies offer a slightly more rounded experience, it's about building a connection, talking, teasing and engaging the client on levels beyond the physical. Both these types of companion have a market and there are many clients that prefer one over the other. One isn't better than the other, both are equally hard work.

 

It reads to me that the OP typically seeks the former type of companion, someone that doesn't engage in the "GFE" date (unless you define GFE as a type of sexual service, BBBJ, DFK, etc.) but he's finding that lacking now and would like a little more variety, a connection, a real date feel. Perhaps the thread might have gone a little better if someone had explained that ladies that advertise as companion (courtesan, etc.) are more likely to offer that type of experience and the various other ways to determine what type of companion a lady is (keywords, rate structure, etc). The ladies that offer companion services generally have already structured their rates to include "out of bed time" as that is the bulk of service that they provide.

 

Now there are many ladies that bridge the gap and offer both styles of services but not one of the ones I know believes that one is less work than the other, they are just different types of services.

 

I may enjoy going to a movie, having dinner out, etc. but being professional about it means I put a lot of effort into my date, I dress appropriately, I make sure that I've shaved the legs, put on a little makeup, etc. All of that takes time and to make it appear effortless is even more work and expense. If I am working then I make an effort that I do not in my private life, when I visit a friend I dress comfortable, I don't worry about the chipped nails or the hair that is frizzy from the rain but when you are a client I do, it's just good business sense to put your best foot forward. So when someone asks me (and all ladies have heard this before) if you're not doing anything anyway why not make some money instead you are asking me to work. Everyone in every job enjoys having a bit of downtime, so why don't I choose to work when I'm off, for the same reason everyone else does, it's my time to relax and enjoy my private life. When I agree to work then no matter what I am doing whether it's a wine tasting or a few hours locked in a hotel room I am still "on" and making sure that I am representing myself in the best way I can which is work.

For those that are client facing in careers they might appreciate this, when a client (especially a new one) asks you out to dinner on a Saturday night you will often hum and haw over it. It's not that you don't like the client, it's not that you don't like eating, it's that you are required to represent your business which requires your "professional image" and you are now unable to enjoy a meal with your college buddies, your hockey team or just relax in your underwear drinking beer and watching the game.

[Ava Foxx 1747]

gosh darn it...as usual I missed something here...gotta go back and read from the beginning (when sober LOL) ahhh tomorrow is another day!

PS...just kidding.....short attention span. i gotta stop reading every 3rd line like I did in school! This is way more interesting!

 

This is why I sent you the link to this thread earlier lol! It went hand in hand with your post ;).

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Oh Ava...I knew I should have read it then when I had a clear mind! You take such good care of me :oops:

In the am, when I am fresh and clear of mind, I shall read from page one and come up with something clever (I hope!) to say!

[Andee 220524]

Kyra: All your points well taken. I think the fundamental thing to remember here was how his requirements changed and his attitude started to get a bit "haughty".

 

Even if a courtesan does feel comfortable with those options, no one should "assume" that she she should "agree" that she should charge less because after it is a recession and hey you weren't doing anything anyways. I don't disagree with you, except, I believe it has to be the SPs decision, not the client to dictate that.

 

She will either: gladly do those things and still charge you the same.

Gladly do those things and charge less. But it's up to her, not the consensus of society at the moment because the phone isn't ringing.

 

But I think the main thing, is don't ask for the sun, the moon and the stars and then expect a cheaper price.

 

Just put it out there, (make an offer) and see what kind of response you get back and go from there and honour the lady's menu and price.

 

If she doesn't want to turn away business and charge less, then let it be her decision. I think that's the point that wasn't being clarified here.

At least that's what I and a few other ladies felt was being overlooked here.

[Guest o*****a*****r]

In my humble opinion it appears that the word "manipulate" set him off and as a gentleman I do understand this… and that’s why he states:

 

“I am most definitely NOT looking to 'indeed' 'manipulate' anyone and find your remarks offensive to not only myself, but all men. (Is this how you view all men, whether you do business with them or not?)”

 

I’m not taking sides at all and I do appreciate that the original comment was removed by the person who used this word but unfortunately in this “politically correct” world certain words offend people just as his comment: (I won’t get into certain words that can offend the ladies of course)...

 

“Well, I was also thinking, during these recessionary times and with the enjoyment in the variety of life (that is, not to always have to have sexual relations (I can't believe I just typed that :S)), it could fill time for SPs/clients whom don't have as full of a schedule as they may used to have. Maybe not make/spend as much, but something is better than nothing I guess.”

 

I know this comment offended some SP’s, and right fully so, but I would think in tough times one would have more time to have fun and therefore spend more on the "pleasures in life" :wink:

 

Just my 2 cents…

 

 

OTG

[Carrie Moon 68826]

nope.. I didn't remove my comment.. I was reprimanded for it. I stand by it.. it was and is my opinion. At first I was supportive of his search.. I don't provide it social time or otherwise at a reduced rate but I support anyone who does this if that's what they want to do.. it was when and only when he added the ''if bedroom time happens'' you can pay me..

 

He basically wanted foreplay without sex or so he said.. if he's definitely not interested in sex.. but still wants it to be only foreplay on the couch.. when does it change to full service appt? Fuzzying all the boundaries makes it awkward and easy to be manipulated. I'm not only a sex provider for 20 plus years I have tons of sexual experience outside of this to form an opinion on.

 

Sipping wine as he writes this.. suggests he probably intends to drink wine on the visit. doesn't alcohol also blur the boundaries?

 

I don't find all men or all women manipulative.. I find some to be..and I call them on how it appears.. that was all I did. I found that to appear manipulative.. along with the context of everything else he said. have trouble with the word? we clarify it.

 

FYI.. is it not also a great idea for him or anyone who thinks like him to go to his boss and say in these recessionary times I suggest you now pay me less?

 

Why don't we just start threads for the guys.. asking for bids on services with a list of what they'd like? do that and I'll leave cerb.

[Guest o*****a*****r]

nope.. I didn't remove my comment.. I was reprimanded for it. I stand by it.. it was and is my opinion. At first I was supportive of his search.. I don't provide it social time or otherwise at a reduced rate but I support anyone who does this if that's what they want to do.. it was when and only when he added the ''if bedroom time happens'' you can pay me..

 

I do agree that at first you were supportive of his search :grin: Thank you!

 

Sorry if I missed the "manipulate" comment... I just couldn't find it prior to the posting he made in any of your previous postings:

 

"Originally Posted by Carrie Moon

Also decide in advance if you want to book for bedroom time. ie.. 2 hrs social time/rate, 1 hr bedroom time/rate. If you're going to joke about charging her for bedroom time you won't be taken at all seriously. You are indeed barking up the wrong tree and looking for a friend you can manipulate in my opinion...rather than honestly paying a girl a fair rate for her time.

 

only saying this because I saw it happen very recently!"

Myself I?d never negotiate the listed price, ask for change, and/or try to work a ?deal? for services although I?ve had agency girls ask extra $ for ?extra?s?? no problem here, that?s maybe how they make extra $? Just to back myself up I was seeing an SP regularly and when I noticed her rates went up on her website I paid her those rates on my next visit and always from there on without her asking?. Why negotiate? I don?t get it as YMMV :shock:

OTG

[Carrie Moon 68826]

ah.. well mod removed it when I got the reprimand. I haven't been reprimanded before so didn't realize it!

[Guest C*****tte]

Just popping in to share an anecdote of how social time can become play time and as the escort you have to figure out how to deal with it.

 

I was with a client who had hired me for some private time and then we were to leave the privacy of the hotel for a social outing. I charged him my normal rate for private time and then a social rate for the outing. I clearly told him that there was to be no hanky panky when we were out. No hand holding, kissing, nuzzling, etc... He agreed.

 

Well, he had a few beers and got handsy with me. I had to deal with him on a whole other level than was expected and he tried to get more than we had negotiated. I really dislike having to deal with this kind of thing once the date has begun.

 

Lesson learned. My rate is my rate is my rate.

[mod 135640]

Thank you Charlotte for going back to the original discussion.

 

The previous issue is done and over with so I must ask that that part of the conversation be put to rest.

 

The other member involved has been suspended and some other members here are upset that Carrie (and others) are still continuing to discuss this when the other party involved has been suspended. I have spoken to Carrie about this and told her what she did wrong and after discussing this at the office with other staff all reviewing this thread we came to the conclusion that it would not be fair to suspend one member and not the other so we are going to allow the other suspended member back on the site.

 

Anyone continuing to discuss that will be suspended.

[Annessa 22743]

I'm a little late here and I havent read any posts after this one but I do feel what we all said holds water.....carrie herself and many of us said that we agree with social time with trusted clients...at a fee. But this time was to be agreed beforehand as such. "I just want to watch a movie and snuggle" etc....ok, to a trusted client thats a social request to some.

 

however if the client says "we'll watch a movie and talk and see where it goes from there" or I want to kiss and touch etc but no sex at first until I say so and maybe it'll progress to that....well thats what any first date with a new client is anyway...and usually they are happy to pay the full fee when they think that bedroom activities may happen afterwards on a first encounter....even if those activities don't happen because they are so wrapped up in hanging out.

 

when the time is up and you realize that you have both been sitting and laughing, kissing, touching and snuggling for the full agreed time does the girl then turn to the guy and say "oh man...I'm so sorry...we didnt have sex...here's half my fee back."

 

no!

 

 

final words:

movie and hanging out and talking with *maybe* some hair stroking and a hug TO A TRUSTED CLIENT I HAVE MET BEFORE = social time ...to ME (not the same to all ladies) that is

 

movie, making out, LFK DFK, touching inside clothes, makeout-sessions, and the hinting of taking things further (especially with a new client) = pay the full fee at the beginning...or if you get a lady into a situation like that take into consideration that she will leave feeling conned and never answer your calls again

 

once again....very late on this and havent read all the replies but if anyone already said what i said...apologies, just had to get that out before another million pages were accumulated

 

(keep in mind I have edited the parts about attacking members for posting opinions regardless of agreeing with them at the viewing of mod's last post...I will say however that our posts did "hold water" because we all agreed on charged social time....as long as no lines were crossed at the date from the primary agreement. Unfortunately a line was crossed whether he was joking or not...we didnt find it funny.....but then again I think I will keep that to myself.......or start a blog ;-)...and yes I'm joking)

 

I also must say that i can certainly see where Charlotte is coming from with her story.....its very difficult to stick to our rules, but knowing from experience that a situation could turn awkward or even worse put our business and dignity at risk make it all the more easier to put our feet down. Hopefully the good fellows will understand that

[dunkinsailor 1220]

as a newbie, this discussion has helped me immensely. I've discovered stuff that hadn't really occurred to me before, including:

- social time can be more challenging emotionally and mentally for her if the chemistry isn't right

- there's still significant getting-ready work for her to go out

- keeping the lines from getting blurred would actually detract from the experience for me

 

So if I want to include a movie, p;icnic, etc., I'll look for someone who offers a multi-hour package that seems to have a mixture of public/private time already built in. I'll also discuss the things I'd like to do on the date more fully beforehand, so that there are as few unexpected awkward surprises once we get together.

 

Thanks to all that helped me learn from their experience.

[Guest S***e]

As much as I like "power cuddle" time, it is just that and I have no expections to have a lady alter her established donations. Time is money and that's it. I realize there are grey areas and these can evolve after some sort of business relationship is established. Some ladies have altered their rates downward for dinner dates and desert and some do not. Companionship can involve many things and if my hour involves a "power cuddle" only for the established donation so be it as that's what we've decided to do as consenting adults. I don't like to muddy the waters.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

The donation I request is for my time. Whatever you decide to do with that time does not change that! I find this approach the easiest so that I don't find myself in a situation like Charlotte described.

Each lady is different and free to decide how she wants to run her business. This is a question that should be asked privately once you have chosen a lady you wish to spend time with. With communication prior to an encounter, comes a much more enjoyable experience!

[Andee 220524]

As much as I like "power cuddle" time, it is just that and I have no expections to have a lady alter her established donations. Time is money and that's it. I realize there are grey areas and these can evolve after some sort of business relationship is established. Some ladies have altered their rates downward for dinner dates and desert and some do not. Companionship can involve many things and if my hour involves a "power cuddle" only for the established donation so be it as that's what we've decided to do as consenting adults. I don't like to muddy the waters.

 

Spike: I like that term "power cuddle".

[Guest S***e]

Sometimes it nice to do just that. Some quiet times in each others' arms, chillin' and relaxing. Gotta love a "power cuddle" from time to time.

 

Spike: I like that term "power cuddle".

[Carrie Moon 68826]

Well I apologize for stirring the pot. I have strong opinions which normally I don't share here I guess and it got the better of me. I mistook the support for what I said in the thread as agreement from everyone which it wasn't.. Glad it opened up a discussion to understand each other better. Silver lining I hope.. at any rate.. I'll try to keep my strong opinions in check. Pot Stirrer out!:bddog:

[FineWineDiva 7343]

Good Master Card commercial

 

Hotel Room$ 200

Escort one hour $250

 

snuggling .......PRICELESS

[Guest S***e]

Good one! LOL

 

Good Master Card commercial

 

Hotel Room$ 200

Escort one hour $250

 

snuggling .......PRICELESS

[Carrie Moon 68826]

Good Master Card commercial

 

Hotel Room$ 200

Escort one hour $250

 

snuggling .......PRICELESS

 

That's fantastic!