Playing the field vs. Repeating with an SP

[Andee 220524]

I have on occasion repeated with great results but I am nervous about establishing a "relationship" or revealing too much of who I am which might put my family and/or career at risk.quote]

 

I can understand your hesitation when meeting an SP for an encounter and I agree it's wise to be careful. However, it got me thinking that I am so grateful that neither me or the SP ladies I associate with would ever dream of putting a client's family or career at risk.

 

Even a sister SP who was basically "ripped" off by a client for not honouring a retainer arrangment and was out several hundred dollars did not retaliate by contacting his employer or wife even though she knew his personal information.

 

There are ladies who show class and discretion and I truly hope your hobby experience is with one of them. I think you are in the right place with CERB for that.

[etasman2000 15994]

I wonder how many long time hobbyists have changed over time like you have Loki ?

 

I suspect the changes reflect the changes in our personal lives and personality.

 

If you prefer a regular fixed schedule then you are more likely to remain with a regular for an extended period.

 

Increase in funds might result in seeing more non-regulars.

[clancy 142]

As I mentioned before, I like change and variety and this is basically the reason as why I hobby and though I fully respect the individuals' decision for the repeats with same lady as the choice and preference but can"t really fully understand the logic behind it for those who may be single. So the unresolved question in my mind is if a single person in no relationship prefers so strongly to repeat with the same lady again and again, then why not just find a GF and I am sure in most cases it would be a lot less expensive. I used to do this 12-15 years ago when I was student with little money (each relationship lasted a few months at the most) and the cost of taking the lady to the dinner or a dance bar in a month was significantly less than what I spend now on hobby in a week.

 

 

Speaking for myself, I have never had trouble finding a GF, keeping one...not so lucky. With work it is very difficult to plan anything at all. One GF came on the road one job with a buddy`s wife, and after working 14-16 hr shifts they were dissapointed that we weren`t up for going out or staying up late. You can`t make an appointment with a GF for an hour or two and go to sleep, we all know what that outcome is, and rightly so. I don`t think I`ve had the equivalent of a month off in the last 2 years so to dedicate time is near impossible. If and when I do decide to settle down and take a clients full time offer I may consider doing things differently.

On that note, (warning...the following statement consists of much ass kissing), I think if any of my many girlfriends had some of the great qualities (class/personality) that I`ve found with the fine ladies here things likely would be different.

[Andee 220524]

If you are seeing someone regularly, and is proven trustworthy, there is no danger to your family or career. If you visit a wide variety of unknown sps, who you have not established either a rapport or a trust level with, you actually are exposing your life to a lot more scrutiny and potential problems. This is because the more different people you visit, the more people know about you. If you only visit one or two people regularly, only those 2 people know about you. If after six months, or a year or more, nothing untoward has happened, it is unlikely that it will. If you see one wacky new chick a week, who knows who you might encounter.

 

Excellent point!!

[Old Dog 179138]

So the unresolved question in my mind is if a single person in no relationship prefers so strongly to repeat with the same lady again and again, then why not just find a GF and I am sure in most cases it would be a lot less expensive.

 

It's quite simple. In a great many "SO" situations, intimacy is used as leverage. When you have a regular SP, that intimacy is the purpose of the relationship. There is no peripheral baggage associated. I pay a set non-negotiable fee and in return I have a wonderful sensual time. There is an emotional bond, but it is of the nature that friends share... we enjoy each others company. I know what she likes, she knows what I like and when we are finished, we hug and kiss and say, "until we meet again."

[Touch 57501]

I never planned it, but I see in retrospect that of the 200 or so bookings over 10 years half have been repeats and have been first time encounters. They both have their own pleasures and a mix of the two has been satisfying. Actually I would do more repeats if a could. I go to Montreal 4 or 5 times a year and fit in 3 to five appointments. But who is available often just depends on chance and one just has to live with the available options. But if I have had good chemistry with an SP, sometimes she may change her schedule to make a date possible. I deal with small agencies that have come to know me and that helps to make it possible to juggle things around to see as many women as possible that I had initially hoped to see.

 

Of course good reviews and attractive photos can build up a pretty strong desire to meet a particular new woman!

 

So...I do plan ahead but with experience I realize unexpected circumstance may force a change in plans (sometimes many plans). Also I have learned never make meeting a single particular woman the be-all-and-end-all of any particular trip. (So some variety is enforced.)

 

Touch

[masterowls 249]

As I mentioned before, I like change and variety and this is basically the reason as why I hobby and though I fully respect the individuals' decision for the repeats with same lady as the choice and preference but can"t really fully understand the logic behind it for those who may be single. So the unresolved question in my mind is if a single person in no relationship prefers so strongly to repeat with the same lady again and again, then why not just find a GF and I am sure in most cases it would be a lot less expensive. I used to do this 12-15 years ago when I was student with little money (each relationship lasted a few months at the most) and the cost of taking the lady to the dinner or a dance bar in a month was significantly less than what I spend now on hobby in a week.

 

In my case the answer is simple. I would love a girlfriend, however as any quadriplegic will tell you, it's a lot harder to get noticed when you're in a wheelchair. I have been in the hobby about 19 years, in that time I have had exactly 2 relationships that were not with service providers. Both of those ended horribly. For me, it's much less frustrating to make a phone call, and know exactly where I stand.

 

Additional Comments:

PSat one point I even had a girl I'd known 2 years actually laugh in my face at the idea of simply goiung to a movie. I find going to a sp who at the very least grows to value me as a client, much less emotionally damaging than either being ignored, laughed at, or politely refused in the dating world

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Thank you all for responses. It is now clearer to me as why a single person may prefer to repeat with an SP many times rather than having a GF. Lack of time and the baggage that may come with a GF were noted as the main reasons. I can understand and may be even able to relate to both reasons somewhat. Just a comment on the post by masterrowls. You did say that you love to have a GF and you have had two relationships that did not work out (most of us have had relationships likely more than two that did not work out either) and that is unfortunate that those two relationships did not work out however, I think that there are many ladies out there that can easily see beyond the wheelchair and establish a lasting relationship regardless. I know I would, if I see a lady that I love, the wheelchair will not get into my way and same will be true for many ladies. I do realize however, that I may not be in the right position to say this, however, I just express what is my view that the majority of people in our society would see the person with good heart and soul only and nothing more. If however, you feel more comfortable in seeing SPs for whatever reason (like myself) by all means please do so, but at the same time please do not feel the other option is a no option just because you are in a wheelchair. Just my view.

[masterowls 249]

Dear secret,

 

I have not given up the idea of a relationship. However in my experience if you and I were to attempt to pick up women in a bar, even one with a reputation for being a pickup spot I'd be willing to bet your bill for sp's for a year, that you wind up taking home a girl, while I go home alone. Most women looking to date, unfortunately are either unable or unwilling to deal with the restrictive nature of dating somebody in a wheelchair. For instance I require personal care, which causes two or 3 major problems. The first one is scheduled care. (The agency I deal with won't send staff members to a client if the care would involve being out past 10pm, so I have to be in bed for the night no later than 9:30 PM every night of the week. That makes planning dates rather difficult)

There are many other problems, and/or misperceptions which makes finding a woman rather difficult. By the way, both of my other relationships were with women who were also disabled, which creates a whole other level of issues. I'm not saying there aren't women out there who would be happy dating me. My claim is, that getting a girlfriend, while it sounds simple on the surface, and would be preferable, is not quite as easy as you make it seem.

 

Thank you all for responses. It is now clearer to me as why a single person may prefer to repeat with an SP many times rather than having a GF. Lack of time and the baggage that may come with a GF were noted as the main reasons. I can understand and may be even able to relate to both reasons somewhat. Just a comment on the post by masterrowls. You did say that you love to have a GF and you have had two relationships that did not work out (most of us have had relationships likely more than two that did not work out either) and that is unfortunate that those two relationships did not work out however, I think that there are many ladies out there that can easily see beyond the wheelchair and establish a lasting relationship regardless. I know I would, if I see a lady that I love, the wheelchair will not get into my way and same will be true for many ladies. I do realize however, that I may not be in the right position to say this, however, I just express what is my view that the majority of people in our society would see the person with good heart and soul only and nothing more. If however, you feel more comfortable in seeing SPs for whatever reason (like myself) by all means please do so, but at the same time please do not feel the other option is a no option just because you are in a wheelchair. Just my view.

[franc 110]

Dear secret,

 

I have not given up the idea of arelationship. However in my experience if you and I were to attempt to pick up women in a bar, even one with a reputation for being a pickup spot I'd be willing to bet your bill for sp's for a year, that you wind up taking home a girl, while I go home alone. Most women looking to date, unfortunately are either unable or unwilling to deal with the restrictive nature of dating somebody in a wheelchair. For instance I require personal care, which causes two or 3 major problems. The first one is scheduled care. (The agency I deal with won't send staff members to a client if the care would involve being out past 10pm, so I have to be in bed for the night no later than 9:30 PM every night of the week. That makes planning dates rather difficult)

There are many other problems, and/or misperceptions which makes finding a woman rather difficult. By the way, both of my other relationships were with women who were also disabled, which creates a whole other level of issues. I'm not saying there aren't women out there who would be happy dating me. My claim is, that getting a girlfriend, while it sounds simple on the surface, and would be preferable, is not quite as easy as you make it seem.

 

Wow! masterowls your story struck I cord with me.

 

I am not here to question your desire to visit an SP or not. Nor can I fully comprehend your current situation. But I would like to share with you some antidote's.

 

Firstly in my view, I believe and always continue to believe that on this earth there is always perfect match for everyone. You just have not found her yet.

 

Let me explain. A friend of mine just turned 50. I call him grandpa. This is hard to believe but he has never been married, no kids etc. The longest he had a girlfriend was for 1 year. He has only 2 real girl friends that I know of. He is a super nice guy but did not click with anyone. He is a bit of an odd duck but hey, he is my friend. I thought at one point he was gay even but he is not (don't worry I have nothing against anyone being gay). All my friends (both male and female) gave up on him long ago. I kept saying to everyone, he is not found the right one yet.

 

Well last year, he mentioned that he was interested in this women at work. He described her to me with a kind of passion that seemed a bit odd coming from him. Well anyways, they met and lo and behold , they clicked. She has been married twice before but who cares. Anyways they are now two peas in a pod and they will be moving in together in a couple of months. They are a perfect match. Hey since meeting her, he is renovating his house (it was a dump) in preparation for her moving in, renovated his cottage (it was a bachelor pad, a place for boys to drink. ;)), and he bought a new vehicle. Who knows what will happen with them but he told me he has found his soulmate at age 50.

 

In closing, I have would like to quote from a sign that hangs in my cottage that reads "Believe in the Make Believe". Take care and god bless.

 

And remember, there is someone in this world for everyone. You just have not found her yet!!!! :)

[Guest s******ecan****]

Dear secret,

 

I'm not saying there aren't women out there who would be happy dating me. My claim is, that getting a girlfriend, while it sounds simple on the surface, and would be preferable, is not quite as easy as you make it seem.

 

 

Agree with your statement, though its positive that you haven't given up on the idea. Thanks for sharing a very personal story with the whole community and thanks to all the SP's who are able to meet with clients that have special needs. It is a part of our industry that the public is completely ignorant of and is never considered by those who go crusading against the escort buisness.

[masterowls 249]

Agree with your statement, though its positive that you haven't given up on the idea. Thanks for sharing a very personal story with the whole community and thanks to all the SP's who are able to meet with clients that have special needs. It is a part of our industry that the public is completely ignorant of and is never considered by those who go crusading against the escort buisess.

 

I agree.These women should be applauded, not persecuted by government and a public who have never even met an escort, and have 0 clue what actually happens.I think I've seen 10 industry related documenteries but only 1 has mentioned any positive aspects of the industry.I think if the general public actually understood the true nature of escorting there'd be much less negatie attitude.

 

I share my story for 2 reasons. 1. to try to explain to people that it isn't a case of my not wanting a gitlriend, but that there are still barriers, some physical others mental, that need to be addressed. The other to try to encourage the ladies who do see disabled clients to keep it up, and those who don't to think about at least giving it a shot.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Thanks for your comments and sharing masterowls. I can not fully comprehend or relate to your situation and therefore it would be wrong of me to comment or assess how easy or difficult it is for you to have a permanent relationship with a GF and I apologize if my earlier post appeared that way. All I was saying was that finding/having a GF it is not a no option case for you or anyone in a similar situation (though I acknowledge it might be relatively more difficult).

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

The retainer /sugar daddy arrangement can be benneficial to both parties but make sure both parties understand and appreciate the terms of the agreement going into it. I know some fellow clients who've been burned buy apparently honorable ladies simply because they weren't clear on the payment and scheduling terms.

 

There are definately bennefits to being a "regular" but every so often it's nice to taste a different flavor. :)

[Winnipegcub 21293]

I get my variety by travelling to different cities for business/hobby. I really like the comfort of getting to know someone where we seem to have some chemistry. Although am also careful to keep my head in the right place - this like knowing 2 gals in most cities I frequent. It's the best of all situations for me.

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