Encounter FAIL moments

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

I am a huge fan of failblog and I thought it would be fun if we posted our encounter "FAIL" moments here. This is not meant to be mean-spirited, but instead to take a moment to laugh at ourselves a bit :)

 

My confession - I always have sexy music playing for my massages and I find it really sets the mood. I found a song I thought would be perfect so I downloaded it. It came with several versions. I found a version I liked and added it to my massage music, but I accidentally put the wrong one on..........

 

My new song came on just as my client was about to come to completion. I loved the music, the moment, and everything was just so sexy. Then the song finished and we were listening to a commentary on the song, so essentially song dude talking during the sexiest part of our session. Just about killed it for me, but I think he may not have noticed hehe.

 

That track was quickly deleted from my massage collection. :butt:

[Kate von Katz 49953]

My worst "fail" moment (or at least the one I consider most embarassing)...

 

It was a long time ago in BC, and I had met this amazing guy. We had everything in common - both grew up in logging camps, both loved the outdoors, both were kind-of hippies. I invited him over for dinner and a movie (with a sleepover). Well, all I have to say is, folks, if yer plannin' a sleepover DO NOT order Chinese food!

 

We were in bed, snuggling, and you know that moment when you utterly relax just as you slip into sleep? Yah, well at that very moment, I relaxed a little too much and out came a fart so loud that I'm shocked it didn't make the richter scale. I laid as still as I could, pretending to be asleep. Man that was an epic fail!

[Guest S****an]

My worst fail was nearly fainting in the shower before a massage (with the MA in the shower as well, just to add to the general fun). The lady in question was absolutely gracious about it, and fortunately I didn't crack my skull or anything that may have entailed calling the paramedics, thank god.

The rest of the session was perfect, and I have no idea why I nearly fainted, although I like to think that it was because the lady caused all the blood to leave my head on its way elsewhere, lol.

[Old Dog 179138]

I can think of a few minor incidents, but this one has been with me for years.

 

It was the first time that the ex wife and I had sex (together, not ever.)

 

She had cats. Well needless to say and without going into graphic detail, I was thrusting away when one of her felines took a particular interest in my testicles. He move closer, batted a couple of times and I since I was otherwise occupied I paid no heed (he was declawed). Bad decision on my part.

 

The next thing I know he launched himself, teeth bared, at my balls. I felt a glancing sting, whipped my head up and inadvertently deliver a head butt to the ex, square in the nose. Imagine. The ex is whoozy from a strike to the head, I am battling with a cat for possession of my testicles, and despite the fact that I am on the verge of coming, I have to disengage. The cat now sees a second target.

 

Fortunately, I was able to evade. I began pursuing the cat around the ex's bedroom, still with a raging hard-on, in an attempt to reclaim at least some part of the passion that was interrupted. I succeeded in getting the cat out, slammed the door.

 

Needless to say, the spark was gone. The ex has a bump on her nose, and is lying in a state of semi consciousness, I am attempting to see if she is okay while at the same time I am writhing, not from the cat encounter (which thankfully did not break skin) but from the fact that I have one of the worst cases of blue balls I have ever experienced. Fortunately, we both recovered and a few minutes later we finished what we started...

 

And that ladies and gents... was my story.

[masterowls 249]

Mine might tho yours was pretty chuckle worthy. I was living in Surrey at the time, and decided to see a girl who worked in downtown Vancouver incall only.

so I get everything set(fees, directions so I didn''t get lost etc) and set off in my electric wheelchair via public transit. After an hour travelling by public transit and wheeling about 24 blocks I arrived right on timw and was met in the lobby by this stunning girl. I'm thinking jackpot, until she opens the door to her place. The shelf where she kept her oils and other goodies was partly blocking the entry hallaw and I couldn't get my chair in. Poor girl ended up carrying me about 20 feet, then packing me out after. Mood killer lol

[Annessa 22743]

I was thrusting away when one of her felines took a particular interest in my testicles. He move closer, batted a couple of times and I since I was otherwise occupied I paid no heed (he was declawed). Bad decision on my part.

 

The next thing I know he launched himself, teeth bared, at my balls.

 

OH MY GOD! hahaha...seriously the way you wrote that put the funniest image in my head!!! I had a good laugh out loud to that one Old Dog!! priceless!

[Guest s******ecan****]

She had cats. Well needless to say and without going into graphic detail, I was thrusting away when one of her felines took a particular interest in my testicles. He move closer, batted a couple of times and I since I was otherwise occupied I paid no heed (he was declawed). Bad decision on my part.

 

The next thing I know he launched himself, teeth bared, at my balls. And that ladies and gents... was my story.

 

 

So I guess the headline would read.....

 

"Boyfriend attacked during sexual intercourse by man-eating pussy"

[Guest o*****a*****r]

One of my fantasies is "Tease and Denial" so I set up a two hour date with a wonderful SP who seemed very anxious provide this service for a "vanilla boy" ;-) I was in heaven... I couldn't wait as all is perfect and I'm so anxious for our date!

 

Anyways she was totally amazing but after quite sometime of teasing and denying at my request I found I couldn't finish Not her fault at all for SURE, she was awesome, it was just me... the big ending never happened as planned. But to be honest I'll never forget it as my time was so "orgasmic" in ways I can't describe, with so many "different finishes" I'll never forget it... weird I know lol!

 

OCG

[Jim.Bean 241]

After having a great time with an SP I decided to head out to a club. about 2 drinks later I meet her on the dance floor. I join in with her and her friends and then head back to their table where she introduces me to her BF. Very akward cause he doesn't know what she does outside of school. It's stil a running joke whenever we cross paths

[Guest S**a*Q]

I've had numerous... "fails" in my encounters.

 

Most of them are my fault, *(Okay all of them.) as although I look good, I do not walk good. I slip and fall good, I wipe out in high heels good. I trip over non-shag carpet pretty good too. ;)

 

I think the best fail was when we were switching positions, I totally ran my face *(eyeball socket and nose) into his elbow... Not just a bump, nay! I don't do anything without a flourish. SHA-BAM!

 

...and I have a watery eye, which by the end of the 2 hour call, is what is shaping up all purple in the corner. *(I was not wearing purple therefore, fail on wardrobe too... :P Haha.) He felt horrible, but inside knew that is was totally my fault. Lol, I told him not to worry and made him feel better be describing where all the scars I have came from... Each one has it's own little humorous story of me "epic failing" at everyday activities...

 

On that note... A recent Epic Fail At Everyday Activities

 

2 days ago, I was walking down the hill here in TBay, a nice grassy hill, which in my neighborhood, I walk down all the time... This day however... my one foot decides that it's not going to do what it's supposed to do...

 

I wipe out, land on my knee, almost face plant, tuck into a shoulder-roll *(no idea how i managed that, but someone's looking out for me) and jump back up. I look around, make sure no one saw that, (although I bet it looked kinda cool this time...) brush myself off and keep walking.

 

Hahaha... yeah I'm destined to break something soon... :P

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I've had numerous... "fails" in my encounters.

 

Most of them are my fault, *(Okay all of them.) as although I look good, I do not walk good. I slip and fall good, I wipe out in high heels good. I trip over non-shag carpet pretty good too. ;)

 

I think the best fail was when we were switching positions, I totally ran my face *(eyeball socket and nose) into his elbow... Not just a bump, nay! I don't do anything without a flourish. SHA-BAM!

 

...and I have a watery eye, which by the end of the 2 hour call, is what is shaping up all purple in the corner. *(I was not wearing purple therefore, fail on wardrobe too... :P Haha.) He felt horrible, but inside knew that is was totally my fault. Lol, I told him not to worry and made him feel better be describing where all the scars I have came from... Each one has it's own little humorous story of me "epic failing" at everyday activities...

 

On that note... A recent Epic Fail At Everyday Activities

 

2 days ago, I was walking down the hill here in TBay, a nice grassy hill, which in my neighborhood, I walk down all the time... This day however... my one foot decides that it's not going to do what it's supposed to do...

 

I wipe out, land on my knee, almost face plant, tuck into a shoulder-roll *(no idea how i managed that, but someone's looking out for me) and jump back up. I look around, make sure no one saw that, (although I bet it looked kinda cool this time...) brush myself off and keep walking.

 

Hahaha... yeah I'm destined to break something soon... :P

 

I can sympathize with you....the only time I can be positive that I won't trip is when I am "two sheets to the wind" LOL

Not only that...I have a tendency to move my limbs at the wrong moment which often leads to a wack in the face or other, more sensitive, areas!

[VedaSloan 119179]

I have a bad habit of telling stories that involve me imitating my mother lecturing me about something and I end up giving away my real name sometimes. Oops.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

I had an good experience with a CERB member who gave me his CERB name during our session. I decided to PM him telling him that I enjoyed our time together, but sent it to the wrong guy! Whoops!

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

After performing an erotic body slide on the gentleman's back, I asked him to flip over. It was then that I noticed red splots on the pillow case. I pointed them out to the gentleman and asked if he was bleeding. I knew for sure it wasn't there when our session became because I check each and every sheet/towel for marks, etc.

 

Neither of us could figure out where we were bleeding. Here I am thinking I operate the most sketchy massage parlour LOL :) I assured him that the sheets were cleaned properly, I turned over the pillow, and proceeded to perform a front body slide. During the bodyslide, my lips brushed slight red against the pillow case in the same spot as before.

 

If you haven't figured it out, it was my LIPSTICK that made the red spots, not blood LOL. Boy did I feel silly! :)

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

When I went on an outcall to a hotel and the guy ended up having a heart attack during our time together.

[roamingguy 300292]

My very first time with a sp. Planned the encounter about about a month and half in advance. She also sent me lots of emails with pictures for that month and half

Well time comes. She knocks on the door, I let her in.

First words out of her mouth, I'm having my period, we can do everything but...

Then she says, "gotta pay the bills hun, gotta pay the bills"

It got worse from then on

Wasn't happy about it then, but I kinda find it humorous now

RG

[Kubrickfan 12836]

When I went on an outcall to a hotel and the guy ended up having a heart attack during our time together.

 

Unfortunately, I think its fair to say Nicolette wins. :shock:

[SamanthaEvans 166767]

Yikes, Nicolette! That's my worst nightmare! What did you do? Was he okay? (Sorry, I know that's not the purpose of this thread, but I just have to ask!)

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

I was in a hotel with a very nice gentleman. We get in action in everything, and I like it so much, I have to hang on something... The head board. :icon_eek:

 

Yep, I broke it... Fortunetly, nobody was hurt except maybe my ego.

 

You should have seen the face of the manager (a friend) when I asked him to fix it up. He was laughing to tears!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Yikes, Nicolette! That's my worst nightmare! What did you do? Was he okay? (Sorry, I know that's not the purpose of this thread, but I just have to ask!)

 

Samantha, you have been PMed.

 

This is one of those incidences where it tops the list in terms of being very scared and fortunately this man survived. I have only been in one other situation where my client and I could have been seriously injured. I think someone needs to start a thread on an SP's most hazardous moments. lol.

[Andee 220524]

This gentleman planned on seeing me for months, finally got up the courage to do it, travelled over two hours from out of town. He was so excited, that he wanted to get down to it pretty much right away.

 

I obliged by putting on the condom, at which time he climaxed.

 

I looked at him and told him to relax, we still had 27 minutes left. He said there was no way he could come again, but said he was happy he met me and proceeded on his way.

 

I felt terrible for him, but he sent me an e-mail thanking me for not humiliating him, so I didn't feel so bad after that.

[MightyMouse 839]

I made an appointment to meet with a favorite SP of mine. Every encounter is hot and heavy, we can't seem to get enough of each other. After some intense foreplay she wanted to "ride" this cowboy into the sunset. Not long after we began "WHAM"!! :shock: the bed frame collapses beneath us!! :icon_redface:

 

Luckily we were able to fix it.

 

MM.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

This isn't an encounter fail moment, but I'll share it anyways. I was typing up an ad and my finger missed the "2" key and typed "1" instead. I was typing my age and it came out as 16 instead of 26. Good thing I proofread!!!!!!!

[Miss Scarlett 25073]

I am very klutzy, and have had many "fail moments", but there are 2 that stand out in my mind the most!

 

1. This one happened just after I became an SP. I was renting a room from a friend, and only had a hand me down pull out couch. The client and I had met a couple times before that and he decided this time he wanted to do missionary. We just got going and the frame decided it did not want to be out, and the bed proceeded to go back up into the couch. My client was thrown over the back of the couch, and I was sucked up in the couch. The guy could not stop laughing, he said all he could see was my legs sticking out of the couch.

 

2. I was thinking about doing duo's with one of the girls around here, and we decided to meet and get to know one another. Well she was attractive, and she thought I was too so we decided to do pictures together. During the photo shoot she decided to joke around and lunge at me, she sent me flying off the end of the bed, and I hit the floor with a loud thunk! HAHA Needless to say we both laughed so hard the photo shoot ended.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Hahaha, LMAO, still laughing! Thanks for the stories!