Lack of Respect And Manners In General

[Andee 220524]

In all seriousness, I wish I had the chance to watch the house debate when I was there! Oh, and I wish I could grill the PM about a few things or two:mrgreen:

 

You'd probably do a better job than most of the elected MPs we have.

 

Back to the thread...

[Guest s******ecan****]

I'm afraid I would have been a little more direct. I would have said something to the effect of, "I'm sorry you may miss your flight. Perhaps you would rather I risk your life and the lives of everybody else on the plane just to get you here on time?" Of course I would say it with a big smile on my face. Especially when he realizes how stupid he sounded. Of course nobody thinks that you're the one they're going to blame if you fly through the storm and somebody gets hurt or killed. That makes me really angry.

 

This does however bring up the interesting point of when we feel free to "ignore" manners or civil discourse, and when we feel forced to observe them.

 

In the case of the pilot and the passenger (and in this I make no judgement of 777 whom I don't know its just an example) the passenger feels free to step outside the rules because he feels himself to be in a position of power and priviledge. He is the "paying customer". He can choose to withold future business, so he takes advantage of his temporary power and weilds it against his inferior (the pilot/employee) because he knows he can get away with it. Notice the passenger did not rush the cockpit during the flight to make this complaint because at that time he had no power, it was all in the hands of the pilot (literally) and he was wise (or had enough self control) to know a breach of social norms in flight would have landed him in a world of trouble.

The pilot stiffiling his anger and incredulity, remains polite perhaps less due to "upbringing" and social convention, but more out of a practical realization of the consequences of breaching the social norms (discipline, or termination).

Manners are always more about power relationships than many care to admit.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

The OP trying to correct the Texan in any way would be lost. It's not our job to teach other grown adults manners. Not his point.. he's just wondering about manners and rudeness in our society in general. The Texan may have been well aware of the reason for the lateness and masking his fear of flying with rudeness.

 

He may have been heading to his mother's funeral.. he may have been heading to or from all sorts of things. We'll likely never know.. and that's the thing..

 

You never know why someone is over-reacting with rudeness or any other measure of reacting because we don't talk about feelings and we're not psychic.. at least I know I'm not.

 

We are also removed from our fellow societal members my more than technology (although that's an easy one on here especially when hiding behind a fake handle), we're also removed by lack of community.

 

How many people on here know their neighbours well. Have grandparents still living near them or better yet still in their homes. I know I did as a child and many of my friends did as well. How many people have friends living near them still that they've known through childhood? I know I don't. Not anymore..

 

I make sure I develop a community and have balance in my life.. good friends who will tell me when I'm being an ass... keep me accountable and help me grow.

 

I have learned also how important it is to limit my stress by having friends who I can be myself with.. all know what I do for a living so I don't have to hide who I am or what I do.

 

Many people however hide who they are all the time.. not including this line of work or hobbying. We wear masks and hide our emotions. It's normal in our society to say 'how are you?' while never expecting a true answer.

 

Who knows what was going on in that Texan's mind.. likely he wasn't even aware. But nasty responses generally mean a lot is going on that has absolutely nothing to do with the situation mentioned.

 

How many marital arguments are started about menial things when the real issues are the ''elephant in the room'' that one is afraid to mention for fear of getting into a major argument and eventually being abandoned?

 

Not to point fingers but I'd bet a lot of hobbiests would be having sex at home instead of seeing us if their communication at home were smooth :)

 

And as for the luxury of being an sp. Damn tootin! I love being able to run my own business and turn away business if someone is rude or I don't want to deal with. When I worked 'square' jobs I didn't have that luxury if I wanted to stay employed.

[Xracer86 122]

I totally agree with omehgosh, I tend to help all my friends & end up doing everything my self but hope sometime it might turn around. I tend to find in T.O there are alot less mannered people than living here in the country, just the lifestyle in my oppinion. A very rushed lifestyle in the big city, also why I moved back to the country.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

Hear hear!

Posted via Mobile Device

[Jabba 18389]

Excellent thread!

 

Awhile ago, my girlfriend and I attended a gathering where we were seated at a table amongst several other couples. A meal was served and dancing to follow. My girlfriend (a very yummy redhead) commented to me that her other hot girlfriends at the same table thought I was very well mannered by saying "please", "thank you" and by observing other minor courtesies.

 

I didn't really understand the context of her comment at the time, although I was hopeful it was going to end-up as something really hot, wet and nasty at the end of the evening. But seriously, I was just doing what I was brought-up with - no big deal. Shrug.

 

But you know folks - it is a big deal. It may take some effort, and maybe it`s about behavioral modification. Show appreciation for another's efforts. Pay attention to the small details - maybe to the details of someone else's job. What does it cost to show some gratitude or to share some warmth?

 

Try these phrases (and smile while you say 'em):

"After you Ma'am/Sir"

"Thank you Ma'am/Sir"

"Can I help you Ma'am/Sir"

"Please and thank you"

 

BTW - The little story I told you happened about 35 years ago. Rudeness, abruptness and thoughtlessness isn't new or unique to this technology age. Don`t make it your excuse of the day.

[777flyer 1612]

Thanks for the many comments, it's heartening to see that many of us (at least our CERB family ) still place a high value on just being good ole decent people.

 

Perhaps I overemphasized my experience, which was meant to just highlight that people should always be aware of the cause and resulting effect of a given situation, before judging someone or lashing out inappropriately.......

 

I meant to simply ask that people always be courteous, polite and respectful of others..... especially of our ladies on CERB, who often enough do not get the courtesy of a simple thank you....

 

And I am sure, my friends in customs would have had a field day in dealing with him....as I am SURE he had plenty to say to them......

 

I wonder how painful his cavity search was ???

 

SNK

[A***** A***** 510]

And I am sure, my friends in customs would have had a field day in dealing with him....as I am SURE he had plenty to say to them......

 

I wonder how painful his cavity search was ???

 

SNK

 

Now that's Karma! Glad to hear you keep your sense of humor:razz:

[toine 30556]

Nature versus nurture, interesting debate onto itself.

Regarding airline problems, the starting point of this thread, I have this to share. Take it for what it is worth.

I flew back from Europe once last year, and my journey was delayed at two points. The first delay came from the late arrival of the plane at the start of the journey. Somebody had required emergency help on the previous leg of that plane?s ?day?, so to speak. While waiting at the airport, passengers were kept informed of the delay and regularly updated, both on the duration of the delay and the reason for it. So I took in stride, and I imagine most other passengers did, too. Once on the plane, staff had been instructed to keep us happy with plenty of food and beverage, and all in all, we understood that this is the reality of today?s travelling.

Upon arrival in Canada, I had to take a connecting flight to get to Ottawa, and that is when things went wrong and I got mighty pissed off. We were kept waiting for an extra two hours, and it became clear after a while that it was a cost reduction measure taken by the airline company. During that time, we (myself and about ten other people on that connecting flight) were not kept informed by the staff, and irrespective of the challenges for local staff to deal with the company?s decision and the expectations of passengers, the reality of that journey was that I was left wondering for two hours what the heck was going on. Some ten hours after the beginning of my day, I was quite pissed off. To summarize, to get back to 777flight contribution, we have to trust people like him whose job is to keep people safe; I am often grateful that my career does not involve making life or death decision on behalf of others, and I have great respect for people in all walk of life (pilots, nurses, physicians) whose job involve such high stake decision, and do it well. But communicating to the people affected is paramount, so that they understand that the choice was between being delayed and having too high a risk of ending in the Atlantic?

 

Now, in daily life, I try to be considerate of others, keeping doors open, saying thank you and please, and all that. Yet, if I may say, I am struck by the seeming double standard: it seems to be expected that I keep doors open and yield the way to others, but how come so few adult fit women seem to behave in the same way? In this world of equality between genders, doesn?t it strike you as odd?

toine

[The General 11309]

Sometimes, we need to bite our tongues, but at the same time, perhaps just a short polite respond like, "we are real sorry that you were late, but the other options would have put your life in danger and I am sure that would not be something that you would consider a good option". Perhaps the next time, the person will be more thoughtful about their comments.

 

People flying can be the grumpest people around.

[Old Dog 179138]

And I am sure, my friends in customs would have had a field day in dealing with him....as I am SURE he had plenty to say to them......

 

I wonder how painful his cavity search was ???

 

SNK

 

I have a few buddies that work for Customs.... A cavity search isn't necessary. You can turn a complete jerk to putty by just putting on a pair of rubber gloves and pulling them as high up your arm as you possibly can.... and remember, the federal budget doesn't have money for lube.... hehehehe.

[Guest S***dst***]

The world still has a fair amount of good people in it, they just rarely speak up. Which is unfortunate.

 

Well said (all together, shortened for visual pleasant-ness) sir.

 

The good people DO speak up but they are often over shadowed by the rude ones, so you can't hear them.

 

I sat in my car yesterday afternoon while my friend got out to go into the Dairy Queen. Sitting there a man and his family pulled up in a van in the spot next to me. He opened his driver side door and slammed it into the side of my car, as if it was nothing, and got out to help get his little children out the van.

(Which really was his saving grace)

 

I rolled down my window and said to him, "Excuse me, you just dented my car with your door."

To which he replied, "No I didn't, it was like that"

That wasn't the end of our conversation, I honestly just about lost...but as I said..he had little children he was taking out of his van and decided to chose a different battle.

 

Now my car isn't expensive but the total lack of respect for other people/their (my) things REALLY got under my skin.

 

I was raised to treat everyone with respect, regardless of background, sexual preference etc

You always have my respect until you decide you don't want it and even then you'd have to do something to lose it.

I feel demanding people to earn your respect is arrogant and a way of self-elevation. The world could be a much nicer place IMHO if people would take on this way of thinking.

 

Nature vs Nurture will always be the argument.

I think PRIDE is the real problem in society. Everything stripped down, usually ends up at pride.

 

For the Original Post it seems to be the same.

Life is too short to harbour hatred. (even if living is the longest thing you ever do :P)

Complaining he was late yada yada wasn't going to make him..not late.. it happened and it can't be changed. Things you have no control over should not control your mood.

 

Ignorance and arrogance go hand in hand but pride is the back bone of both.

[747LeftSeat 699]

After reading a few posts about common decency and how people don't show the smallest amount of appreciation for each other and the complete lack of respect, it made me stop and think.......

 

Are we as a society forgetting our manners, or just simply being unreasonable. ?

 

A recent event really caused me to shake my head in bewilderment, and reflect on how day to day as we go about our jobs, we often don't get credit or the least amount of respect for what we do for others.....

 

Recently, flying back to Toronto, we were forced to divert in mid flight because of a NASTY line of thunderstorms across the US Midwest. I can assure you, this is no easy task in mid flight, but after a bit of adjustment, we diverted and although almost an hour late, landed safely in Toronto......

 

As we thanked passengers while they departed, a blustery 'texan' proceeded to berate me, rather loudly, for how late we were and how he may miss his connecting flight and how he may NEVER fly with us again.....

 

It took all of my good manners to smile and thank him for flying with us......perhaps i should have just flown into the storm and shook the bad manners out this pompous ass......but of course that is not an option...

 

which leads me to this.....

 

Regardless of what we do, should we not at least expect the least amount of courtesy and understanding from each other ?

 

Should we not give each other the benefit of the doubt ?

 

Because we pay someone for a service, regardless of what that service is, does that grant us the right to be complete and utter fools and treat the person giving us the service grief because the service wasn't exactly what we had expected ?

 

I would hope that we all stop and realize that for the most part, people WILL try their best to deliver as advertised.....sometimes, in spite of all good intentions, we fall short....even though of our best efforts....

 

There....I feel MUCH better.......forgive my rant...but I thought it appropriate in light of some recent posts !

 

SNK

 

 

I hear you. More than once I've sort of wished I flew through CB just to show these people why we have to divert.

 

I do wish people were more tolerant of events outside the control of mere mortals. I recently had an appointment with a lady that had to be canceled by her due to events outside her control. No big deal - things happen. I can (and will) rebook when my schedule permits.

[777flyer 1612]

I hear you. More than once I've sort of wished I flew through CB just to show these people why we have to divert.

 

Believe me, if it were just the texan and I, I would have flown thru the CB, just to see the look on his face after we bounced around and perhaps dropped a 'few' feet.........

 

Your comment made me laugh....reminded me of something I read somewhere......sort of went like this...

 

"Once flew a Cessna without weather radar into a Cumulonimbus Capillatus..... The turbulence was so bad, we were shaking like a dog sh*tting pinecones" :shock:

 

SNK

[jafo105 39057]

I always treat people the way I expect to be treated in return.

 

I had a visitor in my home recently and the man left his baseball cap on. I asked him very nicely to, "Please remove your hat while in my home or leave". He chose to leave. The 2nd time we met was in a coffee shop and he chose to keep his baseball cap on. The 3rd time we met was for breakfast in a restaurant. Again he chose to leave his baseball cap on -- while we ate. (These were all business meetings.)

 

He also had difficulties articulating his words without using profanity. (No he does not have Tourette's Syndrome.)

 

He never heeded any of my polite requests to correct his manners and courtesies.

 

One strike, two strikes, three strikes... You are gone!!!

 

I am now working with a very nice polite person.

 

No matter how nice you are to some people they just don't get that it is a two-way-street.

 

"Do unto others as you would have them do to you."

[CristyCurves 169032]

Jafo, there are all types of people in this world, the rude, those who lack respect, the preachers, those that say you should be this way or do it this way, then they don't practice what they preach, the ignorant, those who don't have manners, the foul mouthed, the spiteful, the cranky and on and on. But there are also the thoughtful, the kind, those who have manners and respect and on and on:) When you meet and deal with the type you dealt with, laugh, smile and think about someone nice, as trying to teach or change someone like that is usually a fruitless effort and not worth the frustration. When I encounter someone who is nice, kind, respectful, thoughtful or just polite, I always thank them and have no issue telling them why I'm thanking them-so- Thank you for being one of the goods ones, it's good to know there is a few;)