A question for the ladies

[Guest s******ecan****]

I seem to recall more than a few posts where Ladies have indicated attempts by clients to "negotiate" a change in her safety standards, (ie BB FS or request for BBBJ from a provider who offers only CBJ)

 

Is this as common a problem as attempts to "negotiate" rates.

[Ashley Ann 75247]

Before I begin, this is not meant to insult anyone, however I am sure it will, so my apologies in advance...:bowdown:

 

We could discuss the bare back thing till we are all blue in the face, some do it and some do not.....I returned to sp-ing last August after a 4 year break, I was very, very surprised to see that soooo many providers do this, before it was about 20% of the sp's who did so, now, my opinion, it seems to be that 20% of the sp's DO not, the rest seem to be ok with it, either right of the bat, or for an extra cost, the fact that it now seems to be the norm to provide a blow job without a condom, it kinda sorta impacts your business a little, cause lets face it if a guy can get blown without a condom, I think he will choose the lady who will do so for him without a condom, especially when their is such a variety of ladies who do so, its not like he only has 1 or 2 to choose from, there are many...

 

I have had many clients contact me, via cerb, asking for BBBJ, when I indicate that I am unable to provide that service, even though it clearly indicates on my site that I only play SAFELY;) many of them have declined to meet with me, because NO bbbj is a DEAL BREAKER...oh well :-)

I know this does not apply to all hobbiests, but I do think it applies to most,

 

There are a few hobbiests out there who insist on CBJ, but not many :(

 

Bare back is a very personal choice, for me its a no-go, but PLEASE do not think I am saying it is wrong for everyone, it is just wrong for me...:-D

[A***** A***** 510]

Bare back is a very personal choice, for me its a no-go, but PLEASE do not think I am saying it is wrong for everyone, it is just wrong for me...:-D

 

 

Good for you on sticking to your guns. Your body, is exactly that, yours!

 

I get a few calls every now and then asking for BBFS, and boy do they get an earful when asking for it, from me. :handjob:

[Kate von Katz 49953]

Vanessa, I agree completely. Coming from BC where doing bareback will get you fired from any agency, it was never something I had to compete with. But BBBJ indeed seem the rule, not the exception. I don't judge other for making their choices and taking calculated risks with health, but it is really hard to compete with.

 

And no client in their right mind will ask for BBFS. BBBJ is risky enough, BBFS is just asking for all kinds of trouble. Thankfully no one has asked me, 'cause they'd get an earful, for sure!!

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[jg24 3708]

I agree with the ladies on BBFS I saw a lady couple weeks ago and when we got to FS I asked where condom was she said we dont need one I got up dressed and left

[VedaSloan 119179]

I've been asked three times in my career so far to do BBFS.

 

I left the call every time.

[fortunateone 156618]

I've been asked three times in my career so far to do BBFS.

 

I left the call every time.

 

 

I too find this request is pretty rare coming to me. I think for myself it is the lack of PSE offerings, and doing cbj, and being more massage oriented that helps direct interest in me away from the bbfs requesters. I have heard from other sps they are asked frequently, and noticed the difference in ages and restrictions they have that made me assume that what they offer and how they offer it attracts that kind of request more than for me.

 

I think Busty Vanessa is quite right -- the norm was cbj, but also the norm was not gfe like kissing and daty being assumed, or expected. Somewhere things changed, perhaps thru new sps being ignorant of stds or the assumption that the risk of HIV is low, so it does not matter about giving the bbbj anymore. Who knows.

 

But the fact is that providing cbj means only that you are not competing with those who do provide it, and you are attracting a different clientele, or that the client will come to see you regardless. I think that as long as they know up front they can decide. Personally, I quite resent the "deal breaker" comment, and find it incredibly rude and offensive and pushy, coming from the posts of clients. It gives sps the impression that their biz is or will suffer by not providing something they do not wish to provide, it implies they are being pressured or coerced into providing it in order to get their biz, and it reminds me of blackmail, and similar to the sorts of posters who pm to sps saying they want a discount, or they will write a bad review (which seems to happen a lot to newer sps).

 

Anyway, that is my rant re: the "deal breaker" comment. I do not mind if sps offer bbbjs (I would not in a million years, lol), as long as they have fully educated themselves, and fully get themselves tested frequently and with full knowledge that that testing needs to include bloodwork and throat swabs (and in some cases, maybe eye checks) to fully understand that infections can manifest in more than just one place. If they accept that they are at risk of getting 9-10 different stds by providing bbbjs rather than cbjs, and accept that risk, then by all means........

[A***** A***** 510]

If they accept that they are at risk of getting 9-10 different stds by providing bbbjs rather than cbjs, and accept that risk, then by all means........

 

This is like beating a dead horse, you either do it or don't:handjob:

[E.D. man 691]

I believe the client should read what is provided and not ask for extras.

But, I would never go BBFS, I believe it is both safety for the SP and the client. But I read what is available from the SP if I enjoy myself I am mostly likely to do repeat and write a reco.