Your Thohoughts

[big AL 350]

Hello Everyone,

 

I am a 24 year old male who is confined to a wheelchair for life. there is something I would like to discuss with you all.

You See, I work with homecare staff throughout my day. Having the urge to maturbate during the day is something that I go through daily. However, I cannot pull my pants down myself, and I thinking asking my staff to help me do this would be a bit much and very embrassing. If I do it with my pants on, again everyone can tell. Even if my staff did pull my pants down for me, then they would have to help me clean up, and that would trul make me blush.

I am able to pleassure myself when I am in bed, but another problem I have here is the trail of sicky white evidece left on the sheets in the morning. when my staff come to get me up in the morning, my staff can tell what I have been doing. this is a very dificult thing for me to deal with.

Have only had the chance to have sex one time in my life so far(thx to an wonderful kind hearted sp, I might add) we will be getting together in November...

the urge to pleassure myself during the day has increased. it is hard and very frusterating for me to wait till I go to bed. to pleassure myself. I watch porn during the day, but have to wait till bed for the porn to come in to use, so to speak,lol. Even if I don't watch porn, I still get horny.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining or nothing ,life is life. I am just wondering if any of you have any suggestions for me on how to deal with this some what delicit situation.

 

if you have any questions or comments about this feel free to PM me.

 

thanks, Big AL

 

Additional Comments:

the title is supposed to say 'your thoughts' sorry for the spelling error

[NotchJohnson 214123]

Hey big AL, I wish I could tell you how to get around your problem but all I can do is sympathize with you since I am in a similar problem myself. No I'm not confined to a wheelchair or have a disability per say but I am married to a beautiful woman who does not enjoy sex as much as I do and I too have the urge to masturbate often. I simply can't do it when I want since my wife goes to bed late in the evening or early in the morning (between 1 and 4 am) and my son who still lives at home is on shift work and might come home between 5 and 7 am. I do have a full time job from 6 am to 6 pm and that is 6 days a week. I also have a fear of getting caught with my pants around my ankle and my tool in hand.

 

So all I can do for you big AL is share your feelings and fears. Sorry.

[antlerman 17064]

Al....you do have a bit of a problem...that is for sure.

 

So in order to figure this out we may need a little more info if you are able to give it.

-you are confined to a wheelchair

-you do require constant home care staff

-what type of mobility do you have....?

-are your home care staff regular reliable people who you consider friends...or do they rotate staff?

 

I truly do love to try and solve problems like this as I am a believer in masturbation....hehehehe....

[Guest s******ecan****]

Hey Big Al

 

Are you able to get a condom on by yourself? If so this could solve some of the clean up issues.

 

Is it possible for you to masturbate while in the bathroom, or do you need assistance in the bathroom at all times?

 

For during the day what about "Depends" adult diapers (I wish there was a better term ie disposable underwear etc). That might allow you to pleasure yourself with your pants on result in a n easier clean up.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

I am planning on going into the field of personal care, and I can honestly say that I feel for your situation. I don't know the nature of your relationship with your aide(s), so I cannot suggest anything in that department. But there are some good suggestions here. Finding a way to contain your fluids would make clean-up a breeze. Of course this pends on mobility and dexterity.

Posted via Mobile Device

[big AL 350]

Hey big AL' date=' I wish I could tell you how to get around your problem but all I can do is sympathize with you since I am in a similar problem myself. No I'm not confined to a wheelchair or have a disability per say but I am married to a beautiful woman who does not enjoy sex as much as I do and I too have the urge to masturbate often. I simply can't do it when I want since my wife goes to bed late in the evening or early in the morning (between 1 and 4 am) and my son who still lives at home is on shift work and might come home between 5 and 7 am. I do have a full time job from 6 am to 6 pm and that is 6 days a week. I also have a fear of getting caught with my pants around my ankle and my tool in hand.

 

So all I can do for you big AL is share your feelings and fears. Sorry.[/quote']

 

 

thx for that

 

Additional Comments:

I am planning on going into the field of personal care, and I can honestly say that I feel for your situation. I don't know the nature of your relationship with your aide(s), so I cannot suggest anything in that department. But there are some good suggestions here. Finding a way to contain your fluids would make clean-up a breeze. Of course this pends on mobility and dexterity.

Posted via Mobile Device

my mobility is not that could and I cannot put a condom on myself........

 

what kind of personal care are you going into?

[drlove 37204]

Please disregard my earlier post. I admit that I read your post a bit hastily, and your mention of your degree of mobility escaped me. My apologies.

[masterowls 249]

Al,

I am in your exact predicament. I am 40 years old, and was.born disabled. It sounds like your disability is fairly recent. Unfortunately, as far as privacy issues around masturbation, if you want to do it you're probably going to have to accept the fact that your staff have to help you. In my experience, most caregivers, as long as you don't ask them to actually perform the stimulation don't mind helping you get set up. As far as a mess in the morning, I have you considered a supply of blue incontinence pads? They are cheap, and disposable. Just lay one on top of the sheets, masturbate, and then throw the evidence in the trash in the morning, by which time the pad will have absorbed said evidence anyway. Please remember, that masturbation is a perfectly normal and natural desire, and I bet that 90% of your caregivers do it at least once a week, and in your situation would probably want help too.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

Special needs. Eventually I want to work solely with Down Syndrome but I'll have to start where everyone does - geriatric/hospice care.

Posted via Mobile Device

[TGirl-Kay 7484]

Hi hun,

 

I'd just like to add to what Masterowls said about incontinence pads.

 

One of my lovers and I have used puppy training pads to keep the bed sheets tidy. They are just the same as the incontinance pads but quite a bit cheaper.

 

November

[FineWineDiva 7343]

Yes , I have to agree with masterowls

Your care givers have needs and want to !

I have several clients with disabilities .

 

There's must be one there of your

caregivers that are open-minded

enough to understand , that you have befriended .

That's willing to help I don't think this would be the first time

they help someone in this situation .

 

There NOTHING to be embarrassed about , your human with hormones .

 

One last thing Enjoy!!!

and don't any thing hold you back !!

Al,

I am in your exact predicament. I am 40 years old, and was.born disabled. It sounds like your disability is fairly recent. Unfortunately, as far as privacy issues around masturbation, if you want to do it you're probably going to have to accept the fact that your staff have to help you. In my experience, most caregivers, as long as you don't ask them to actually perform the stimulation don't mind helping you get set up. As far as a mess in the morning, I have you considered a supply of blue incontinence pads? They are cheap, and disposable. Just lay one on top of the sheets, masturbate, and then throw the evidence in the trash in the morning, by which time the pad will have absorbed said evidence anyway. Please remember, that masturbation is a perfectly normal and natural desire, and I bet that 90% of your caregivers do it at least once a week, and in your situation would probably want help too.

[777flyer 1612]

bi_AL

 

I really don't know what to say or what to suggest or how to offer help to you.....I am writing because I was struck by your comment.........

 

"Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining or nothing ,life is life"

 

My hat's off to you for maintaining such a positive attitude, we can all learn from you, the next time we complain about trivial things......

 

SNK

[E.D. man 691]

as a teenager I use to do it the bathroom, I locked the door and think of beautiful women or read a hustler or penthouse to get going.

As the home care worker to leave you alone their for awhile. You'll be suprised as how many homecae workers or nurses will understand the situation and let you go to it, because actually blue balls can do medical harm.. So explain the situation to the home care worker or nurses. I know many nurses who have relieved quads with boners because they k now the medical harm that an over build up sperm can cause.

some may reject do to religion or ask for a friendly SP to come over once in awhile. Put alitle money aside like every month and get some help from her.

[big AL 350]

thank you everyone for your ideas. they really helped..........

[Mikeyboy 27133]

When I first read this post, I did not reply as I really didn't have any practical suggestions. I'm glad to hear that some of the posts here have been helpful. The best advice I've read is to be to be honest about it. There should be nothing to be ashamed of. We are talking about basic biological human needs. (Although I realize that it is easier to say than to do.)

I also wanted to say that reading this has given me pause to think about how we don't often appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Thank you for that.

[big AL 350]

When I first read this post, I did not reply as I really didn't have any practical suggestions. I'm glad to hear that some of the posts here have been helpful. The best advice I've read is to be to be honest about it. There should be nothing to be ashamed of. We are talking about basic biological human needs. (Although I realize that it is easier to say than to do.)

I also wanted to say that reading this has given me pause to think about how we don't often appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Thank you for that.

 

 

thx man......

[Guest S**a*Q]

I can think of an idea... maybe, for the pants problem...

 

What about those tear-away sport pants, that do up the side...? Would that work better than having to pull them down?

 

Ooh and as for hiding the evidence... haha, flashback to my childhood...

 

I used to make homemade pocket pussies for my guy friends when I was a kid. A plastic bag with lube (vaseline or hand cream when we were kids) in a warm rolled up washcloth... maybe the bag idea can work for you too...

 

All in all though, I think that the aides that take care of you totally whack it as well, so talking to them is a good idea, as suggested by others.

[Guest s******ecan****]

I used to make homemade pocket pussies for my guy friends when I was a kid. A plastic bag with lube (vaseline or hand cream when we were kids) in a warm rolled up washcloth...

 

Sara thats hilarious and touching at the same time.

[Guest S**a*Q]

I used to make homemade pocket pussies for my guy friends when I was a kid. A plastic bag with lube (vaseline or hand cream when we were kids) in a warm rolled up washcloth...

 

Sara thats hilarious and touching at the same time.

 

My girl friends never admitted to masturbation when we were kids, but the boys did. Lol, I guess that's why I talked to them about it... or thought I was a boy. Well I was a tomboy, close enough :D

[masterowls 249]

I can think of an idea... maybe, for the pants problem...

 

What about those tear-away sport pants, that do up the side...? Would that work better than having to pull them down?

 

Ooh and as for hiding the evidence... haha, flashback to my childhood...

 

I used to make homemade pocket pussies for my guy friends when I was a kid. A plastic bag with lube (vaseline or hand cream when we were kids) in a warm rolled up washcloth... maybe the bag idea can work for you too...

All in all though, I think that the aides that take care of you totally whack it as well, so talking to them is a good idea, as suggested by others.

Sara,

the tear away jogging pants idea is good in principle. They are easier to undo in order to get access, however there is one problem. Speaking as a guy in almost the exact position as Al, including having the same disability, they are unfortunately extremely difficult if not impossible for us to close after we are finished, which would make for some pretty embarrassing moments. LOL

[Guest S**a*Q]

Well then... Velcro pants, that's what we need :D Lol!

[masterowls 249]

Well then... Velcro pants, that's what we need :D Lol!

Now THAT's a brilliant idea.... I'll take 4 pair if you wanna make them... I've been looking for a way around this issue myself for 20 years... That is why I know tear offs have a few drawbacks. Been there tried it...lol:)