FunJay 139 Report post Posted June 25, 2010 Hello CERB -- Here is an 'edited' version of something from another board that I wrote. I just found it again and thought it was still relevant, and kind of funny. I did edit any mention of names, as I now know that CERB is a "recommendation" board, not a review board. I think the post itself is worthwhile, as it is a good reminder to MPs of what we as hobbyists are hoping for during a session. Enjoy! And feel free to add your comments!! ............................................................-- Ottawa MP Wish List.... Just a few rambling thoughts regarding some MPs around town, the good, the bad, and the ugly.....no offence meant, just my own personal opinions, experiences, and suggestions. Please, no flames. But please, do share if you have some other stories..... 1. Dear xxxxx xxxxxxx xx xxx xxxx xx: When I call and ask for a specific MPA, please please please do not tell me she is working, if she is not!! Twice now i have shown up at your establishment expecting to see my favorite, only to be told "she just left" or "she just stepped out". Rubbish! Just fess up, and tell me when she will be there! I would have waited a day to come in, but now....not so sure....... 2. Dear xxxxx xxxxxx xx xxxxx xxxxx: When i show up at the door to see one of my favorite MPAs, please do not tell me that "We are only doing Duos tonight"....even after I call to verify who is working!! For me, the duos just aren't as good as a nice, sensual, single session, with my favorite. I realize business may not be that great, but please don't snooker me into taking a duo, when I really don't want to!! Other than that, I do like your establishment! 3. Dear xxxx xxxxxxx xx xxxxxxxxxx: I have had some good sessions at your place, but to the elderly woman who is either the owner or manager, please do not aproach me when I am leaving to verify how much I have paid, and almost chase me down the stairs! More than once! I have been there before, and am not ripping you off!! You scare me!! 4. Dear xxxxx xxxx xx xxxxxxx: Please answer your phone!! And please standardize your prices!! You are all over the map in terms of service provided, and price. Consistency is key. You are confusing me, and making me nervous.....and please try to be open during regular business hours..... 5. Dear xxxx xxxx xx xxx xxxxxxxx!! Please, let me know why you keep leaving the big jug of lotion between my legs when you leave the room!!! LOL. 6. To the 'other' attendant at xxxxxxxxxx xx xxxxxx last week: when I am finished my session with someone I have pre-booked and arranged with, please don't meet me in the lobby and hassle me regarding how I "was almost in there for one hour, and need to pay for the full hour". first of all, it wasn't a full hour, you even admitted so, so why charge me extra? Secondly, it is not your concern, i was booked with someone else, and yes, we did go over by 10 minutes, because I did take a shower while there. Mind your own business!! The crazy part is, I had a great time, but it is episodes like this that make my leery of going back!! 7. Dear xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx, please let me know when there are two !! other gentlemen in the lobby sitting and waiting. I enjoy discretion, and prefer not to bump into anyone on my way in or out!! I don't mind waiting in the room while people are accommodated!! (and ps, a shower would be nice!) 8. Dear xxx xxxx, stop advertising Russian and Irish and whatever other girls, if they are not actually there! If you only have Asian, then stick with it!! Don't make me come in for nothing!! 9. Dear xxx, thanks for existing..... :-) and your new location! 10. Dear xxx xxxx xxxxx: Don't announce to a full house - hair cuts, manicures, people waiting -- "Oh you must be here for \the massage/? she will be right with you... have a seat"....Then have a sultry, long-haired woman wearing the shortest-shorts ever made walk up to me, smile, and take me downstairs. (although to be fair, she was very very attractive). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grass_Hopper 18263 Report post Posted June 25, 2010 Ok, eventhough I'm an SP, this works for me! Got it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krusty 473 Report post Posted June 28, 2010 "5. Dear xxxx xxxx xx xxx xxxxxxxx!! Please, let me know why you keep leaving the big jug of lotion between my legs when you leave the room!!! LOL." Hilarious ! ! ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted June 28, 2010 Wow...I learn something new every day. My question is...with so many lovely and talented independent ladies on CERB offering erotic massage, why would a gentleman put himself through that. I am amazed at how "unprofessional" some people are with their businesses. Thanks for enlightening us - only hope those who truly need to read this recognize themselves and take the hint! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yak2432 1499 Report post Posted June 28, 2010 Thanks FunJay. I think we can all fill in the blanks with the corresponding MP. Another one to add "Hey xxx xxxx after a mediocre 5 minute rub don't ask me "So what sort of extras are you interested in?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krusty 473 Report post Posted June 29, 2010 Dont forget "Hey XXX XXX XXX, if your sign says 30 minutes, 45 minutes and 60 minutes, with prices for each, don't give me the same song and dance over and over about how you only give 30 minute massages. and then even worse you boot me out after 25" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mmad 2842 Report post Posted June 29, 2010 Dont forget "Hey XXX XXX XXX, if your sign says 30 minutes, 45 minutes and 60 minutes, with prices for each, don't give me the same song and dance over and over about how you only give 30 minute massages. and then even worse you boot me out after 25" Unfortunately this applies to many MPs in town. The exception is every independent I've been to... when they say 60 mins they mean it (or 70 or 80). Was thinking of buying some clocks wholesale and giving them as gifts. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sophie Lauren 881 Report post Posted July 3, 2010 mmad, just wondering if I could get one of those clocks... lol... I have to admit I am one of those independants that magically turns 60 minutes, into 70, I just get lost in enjoying the company of a wonderful client... last week, I was actually very embarrassed, for the first time in 6 months I ran a late for a client, and asked him to give me 5 minutes so I could finish lighting candles, fixing my make up and setting the room for us, I NEVER run late, but just you know, one of those moments, so... because i was feeling so terrible asking him to wait, the lucky man ... was rewarded for his patience with 20 minutes to his benefit.... my bad, I never like to keep anyone waiting for me.... xxx what do you think - would a clock be helpful... lol Sophie http://sophiemassage.spaces.live.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Megan'sTouch 23875 Report post Posted July 3, 2010 I am usually very good at timing the session to be exactly the right amount. I don't extend sessions, even if I want to, because I have a friend who acts as my "security guard" and I have to call her within 5 minutes of finishing each appointment or she comes over to make sure I'm safe. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DavidLetterman 100 Report post Posted July 6, 2010 11. Dear xxx xx xxxxx, don't let the fear of making a mess stop you from providing a satisfying finish! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cellmanf1 100 Report post Posted July 15, 2010 Great list but as a side note on #4.... Dear xxx xxxx xxxx, when you're 'busy' with a client (esp. me) and working alone, please don't answer your cordless phone to make an appointment with your next client. Let the phone ring, if you're that important to him he'll call back in 30 minutes, that's what I do! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
