How do you view hobbying - A party with a guest or pay for sex

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I have noticed a recent comment or two referring to hobbying as paying for sex. I beg to differ and this is my personal view.

 

To me hobbying is NOT paying for sex and I do not get upset by it at all and these are my reasons:

 

I invite a lady to my home as a guest(or she invites us to hers for those who do incalls) and I pay for lady's time and companionship only. By all means she is a guest in my house (or we are a guests in hers, if incalls) and is treated like one (and many like myself do their best to ensure they feel like guests). What happens after is between two consenting adults. They do not have to do what they wish not to. And they can leave if they wish too. In many cases when I invite nude dancers there is no FS. In most cases the visiting lady has equally good time (I can tell by her wet ......and hot body and flushed face lol) and thank us for the great time she has had. It is a date (RendezVous) not pay for sex. The only difference is that I use cerb (or internet) to find my date instead of going to a dance bar or night club and I donate for her time and kindness with material value in an envelop rather than dinner or jewelry or ring, etc.

 

The reason for hobbying in my case is the "Variety" factor. I love variety. It is possible to do this in certain cities like Montreal (where I lived for 6 years before moving to Ottawa) by going to a night club or dance bar or at the university social events and every Saturday night (with a good chance) to come out with a different lady. I used to do this myself for 6 years (besides as student I didn"t have money to hobby). This is not possible in a relatively small city like Ottawa. Therefore if I want to do what I enjoy most (playing the "variety" game), then I have to hobby (or go back to Montreal where likely I won't have a job). I consider visiting ladies as guests and I hope that they are equally feel like being a guest and having a real good time.

 

How many of you would agree that we should enjoy our time and be happy and how many would disagree that in fact hobbying is indeed paying for sex or we should be upset about it? Am I too optimistic living in a fictitious imaginary world of my own, or at least some of you would share my view?. Views from lady providers are specially welcomed.

 

I do hope that this post does not offend anyone, otherwise I would have to request the mod for its removal.

 

PS - This post is not in any way with reference to any individual or individuals and only expresses my personal views on hobbying.

[Guest S**a*Q]

I honestly feel like it's a little of both, yeah everyone's looking for companionship, but ultimately I'm being "donated" to for the underlying reason of satisfaction, hopefully mutual satisfaction. :D

 

I don't think it's bad though, I think it's innovative employment wise, and if you're good with people, why not share your time with them?

 

If I'm happy and they're happy, then does it matter why I'm there?

 

My opinion, doesn't mean it's right though, it's just mine :D

[SmartnSexy 2089]

That's a hard question and I'm not sure any view on this is 100% wrong. I really do believe that it's a perceptions game. A gentleman will treat a lady like a lady regardless of whether or not he's paying for her time, yes, there is an underlying understanding that the time is for sex, but as you vaguely pointed out it's entirely possible for a lady to refuse you her services on whatever grounds she feels are reasonable.

 

You do make an excellent point, one which I've often thought of, and that is, how much money do you actually spend on a steady girlfriend (or even some just the slew of random bar chicks you're trying to pick up)? I'm not sure any studies or surveys for this have ever been conducted, or even conceived of for that matter. But I'd be curious to hear the results and then make a comparison to visits with SPs.

 

I don't think you should be weary about whether or not your opinion offends someone. You have a right to possess your opinion and express it. I realize that this might seem to go against the "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" policy, but I believe that we can have an adult discussion regarding this and all maintain a level of civility.

 

My own opinion is that yes, I'm paying the lady, but first and foremost, before getting off, I'm looking for that sensual connection, the closeness with another human being. The climax is just a super awesome bonus! I think Sara was right, if I'm happy and she's happy, then what does it matter?

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Well SA I beg to differ a bit. In my mind hobbying is exactly paying for sex. Like you I also see nothing wrong with it (otherwise logically I wouldn't be a member here).

 

Many ladies do use the term that the donation is for their time and companionship only but that is legal horse-feathers. Everyone clearly understand that payment is for sex. Of course YMMV in the exact type of sexual services you may receive on any given occasion. If a guy is rude, lacking in hygiene or strongly lacking in respect he may well be quite rightly shown the door with no refund. However that can occur in the context of paying for almost any professional service. Just because it can be the exception does not make it the rule.

 

I think if a lady came over, took your donation and simply gave you her time but did not provide any sexual services then I doubt you would give her a recommendation or opt to repeat. If it happened to me (I am very respectful and hygienic), then I would feel I was deceived and ripped off.

 

I think it is a bit delusional to think of it purely as a date where a lady gets cash instead of dinner or jewelry. To me it is a professional and respectful exchange of money for an intimate service.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Thanks everyone for your time, comments and participation so far. I can see that the first two respondents are at least partially agree with me and after reading the comments I do agree to an extend that this question is not a black and white thing as first it appears (to me) to be.

 

Outforfun, of course you are entitled to your view by all means and I sincerely thank you for your participation but I beg to differ for the following reasons:

 

As I mentioned I have had nude dancers, private dancing with no sex that I had as guests and we both had great time with wine and chocolate and music and flashing lights, really partying with lots of hugs and kisses. They have been invited back too. This means I paid for their companionship and NOT sex. The reason I did not recommend them because almost all dancer strongly prefer to remain anonymous however I have recommended many dancers I have seen in the clubs.

 

My point is that if the lady visits you as a guest and is treated as a guest (or you are in her place as a guest) and the choice is all hers as what to provide and not to provide based on many factors, including the hobbyist's looks and hygiene (that is why most of us use the term YMMV when recommending) and she equally enjoys her time and we reward them for their time and companionship, then what is the difference between this and dating which we take our date to a dinner or bars or buy her expensive jewelry or gifts on a regular basis to reward our GF for being there and joy she provides us with her companionship?.

 

I do agree that this may not apply to those ladies who work for agencies as some (likely most) of those ladies are under pressure and would be hard for them to refuse a client or services as they would likely get into trouble with their boss. That is likely why I have strong preference for independents who are on their own, In particular cerb indies lol.

 

To answer SmartnSexy's question, yes I used to spend a larger percentage of my income (as graduate student I was earning some) on girlfriends that I used to have while in Montreal than now I spend on hobbying lol.

 

Thanks eveyone again for your contributions and participations so far and future posts as well. It is becoming an interesting thread thanks to all of you.

[777flyer 1612]

For me I look for more than just the sex, and i go to great lengths to ensure that is my experience....

 

This hobby is DEFINITELY one that rewards you in spades AS LONG AS YOU AERE WILLING TO GIVE AS MUCH AS YOU EXPECT TO RECEIVE........

 

I have only seen 2 ladies, for a combined total of just under 10 visits. Each and every time it has been a long appointment, one that always includes a nice dinner date, which gives us both ample time to relax, and enjoy each other's company. This way by the time we finally retreat to the room, we are both comfortable with one another, are completely relaxed......makes for a wonderful evening.

 

By no means am I an expert, but for me that's my magic formula and what makes it a memorable experience each and every time...........going well beyond just the sex...

 

While in the end it is a business transaction, what makes this more than simply a transaction for sex, is how we spend the time together, the respect we show for each other, and the GENUINE CARING that develops over time, for each other.....

 

Don't believe me ?

 

Read the reviews, and see how many people repeat, and just how much better each session seems to get......

 

When you ensure that BOTH of your needs have been met.....it is a lot more than just sex......it's a friendship with some delicious benefits....

[Guest S**a*Q]

As I mentioned I have had nude dancers, private dancing with no sex that I had as guests and we both had great time with wine and chocolate and music and flashing lights, really partying with lots of hugs and kisses. They have been invited back too. This means I paid for their companionship and NOT sex. The reason I did not recommend them because almost all dancer strongly prefer to remain anonymous however I have recommended many dancers I have seen in the clubs.

 

 

I messed up the Quotey thing.. but I think that your comment is right however, you mentioned dancers, not escorts... I think that the whole escort/dancer thing is different... As a dancer, I wouldn't expect to sleep with people, or offer extras... But as an escort, it's what I do... I'm an escort cause I can hump... I can't dance worth a crap in the long run, hahaha unless you consider falling in your lap on heels foreplay... *(I actually might) :)

 

I'm not bashing anyone, but as an escort, I expect there to be some form of sexual interaction. If I was a dancer, I wouldn't expect anything, except for my job to instill a fantasy.

 

I've tried dancing... #1- I give props to whoever can do it as I cannot... It wasn't for me, but I have no issues humping someone that I just met 15-20 minutes ago, but don't ask me to dance...

 

I prefer the one-one-one or couple on one, interaction that I get from escorting, rather than stripping/dancing.

 

I think it all depends on the reference base of the girl. It depends on how they feel or act and interact with people...

[ottanon 2930]

It is what it is. Its paying for sex. You know when you invite an SP over whats instore, so lets not pretend here. Thats does not mean you cannot enjoy the company.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

Secret Admirer.. I don't know how long you've been hobbying but in my 22 years of escorting all my clients have expected sex.

 

Even with the dancers you have as guests in your house.. you claim to be hugging and kissing and cuddling.. which in my book is sexual contact. If I were only a guest or on a first date with someone I'd expect dinner our some other social outing and no sexual contact.

 

If you want to call it something else by all means go ahead. But sexual contact of some sort seems to be on your agenda with dancers as well as escorts. In other words a rose by any other name is still a rose.. doesn't matter what you call it.

 

Now.. if you say that paying outright for it is the same as a real-life date of gifts/dinner that guys pay on other dates.. I disagree. A guy buying me dinner doesn't guarantee him getting laid.. but paying me cash does.

 

Real life dates aren't blind dates for me.. an escort date is. I don't ask what the guy looks like or if we have common interests outside of whether or not I offer the type of service he desires.

 

I think you are mixing apples with oranges.. because the dancers you'd invite as you've said before are your 'friends.. you've met them presumably at a club and in many cases know them well before hand before you invite them to your home.

 

Do you also meet escorts at a club? no.. or a streetwalker on the street where you can have a chat before arranging them to be a "guest'' in your home? Would they otherwise have you as a guest or be your guest if you weren't paying them? no.. and as well i would not accept payment in the form of dinner or jewlery for this service.

 

Yes.. I do expect to be treated as a guest and treat my clients as guests like I would if I were coming over to do a tax return or whatever skill I'm being paid to provide. This one is a lot more fun however.

 

I think that most clients if an escort invited as a guest to your home acted surprised that you wanted sex on the date and left without providing.. you'd not only be disappointed but put her on this board as a warning to others.

[PistolPete 61421]

Still thinking this one out... but here is what is on my mind right now

 

...SA we are paying for sex, as far as know I continue to hand out envelopes with a tidy sum of money, to thank the great lady for her intimacy and companionship for maybe an hour or 2 hours.

 

Hell the odd time I might throw an additional lady in on the fun, and we then might be having a party but not really, because I like to get to the sex part real quick, but take my time too :)

 

Because I love my sex, I love being with beautiful women, and to express my gratitude there is money involved.That is just the hobby, period.

 

Lately I have settled into a "groove" where the fun is in a relationship where there is trust,sensuality,friendship and quality great times, and we are both are sharing the benefits.

 

Its all good in my books however anyone wants to look at it.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I never thought of hugging and kissing and cuddling as sexual contact. I haven't been hobbying for long but always thought that the visiting lady can refuse the client or services if she so wishes for whatever reason. I have conversed with lady escorts that they told me that they have refused dfk or daty when the client had a sore on his mouth or even sex when he had bad hygiene. So, all these are coming as shocking news to me lol:shock:!!! I thought it does not matter what a client expect but rather what the lady sees suitable lol.

 

Obviously the purpose for starting this thread was educational and though there has been a few comments more or less in line with my views (and bendex fully agreed with me) however, it appears that our view is likely not in a majority view from SP's point of view so far. I guess I am kind of an optimist as everyone tells me I am in life that I assume that the ladies who see me and appear happy and say they had great time with me and persistently asking me to call them back soon, they all really mean it. It would be kind of heartbreaking if proven otherwise that they all have been for monetary gains only lol:(.

 

I particularly liked flyer's response. I think he got some of his comments right out of my mouth and his post has been nominated by quite a few already.

 

If I knew it is going to be such a hot topic when I started the thread, I would have started it in the form of an anonymous poll to see exactly what percentage of respondents or readers are supportive of my way of viewing the hobby and how many percent otherwise (pay for sex). Regardless, I would like to clarify that I fully respect everyone's views and comments.

 

Again thank you all for your participations.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

SA, you need not apologize for having an opinion and point of view. The pleasure you derive from the forms of hobbying you enjoy is a personal emotion. I applaud you for standing up for your beliefs whether or not others agree! One should never feel bad in sharing their thoughts when there is no harm meant to anyone!

[PistolPete 61421]

Yes kissing,cuddling and hugging is definitely a sexual contact, shit when that happens with me I get a woody!:grin:....then it is play time!

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Yes PP and Carrie, I agree that those actions definately constitute sexual contact!

[Capital Hunter 18263]

SA, you need not apologize for having an opinion and point of view. The pleasure you derive from the forms of hobbying you enjoy is a personal emotion. I applaud you for standing up for your beliefs whether or not others agree! One should never feel bad in sharing their thoughts when there is no harm meant to anyone!

 

Thank you very much Megan. Very kind of you and highly appreciate your comments.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

I never thought of hugging and kissing and cuddling as sexual contact.

 

Really? do you dfk anyone you wouldn't consider sex with? ie another male/your mom/your postman?

 

I haven't been hobbying for long but always thought that the visiting lady can refuse the client or services if she so wishes for whatever reason. I thought it does not matter what a client expect but rather what the lady sees suitable lol.

 

Certainly but refusal implies that it was expected no? If I decide to refuse to provide services I don't also expect to be paid for my time.

 

YES. I guess I am kind of an optimist as everyone tells me I am in life that I assume that the ladies who see me and appear happy and say they had great time with me, they all really mean it.

 

Why can't both be true?

 

It would be heartbreaking if proven otherwise that they all have been for monetary gains only lol:(. I really care about ladies that I see lol.

 

Only one way to find out.. don't pay and see what happens. I think it would be worse to find out girls in the square world only have sex with you if you buy them dinner/jewlery..

 

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with being an optimist.. but why not also be a realist? There is nothing wrong with paying for sex.. in fact I embrace and rely on that concept to pay my rent! I'm happy to be a provider of such service and proud of the service and happiness I bring. Why pretend a rose is a tulip? I love both.

[Andee 220524]

I never thought of hugging and kissing and cuddling as sexual contact. I haven't been hobbying for long but always thought that the visiting lady can refuse the client or services if she so wishes for whatever reason. I have conversed with lady escorts that they told me that they have refused dfk or daty when the client had a sore on his mouth or even sex when he had bad hygiene. So, all these are coming as shocking news to me lol:shock:!!! I thought it does not matter what a client expect but rather what the lady sees suitable lol. .

 

You are right. I can refuse the client or services for whatever reason.

Well, what if the reason is because I don't feel like it because it's raining and not sunny. If I stay the time, you won't mind me keeping the money? After all, according to you, it's what I deem suitable.

 

You know what would happen if I did that? I would lose clients, get a bad rep and probably one day even get hurt.

 

I agree with Carrie that you are mixing apples with oranges.

 

The circumstances you refer to is not the norm. When guys pay us for "our time", sex is inferred. I think you should just call it what it is. The rest is all window dressing. We're all adults here.

 

You are certainly entitled to your point of view, but I am wondering who you are trying to convince - us or yourself.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I am not trying to convince anyone dear. I opened a thread for debate. I expressed my view as a starter. I was/am open to all comments for and against my own original views. I would love to read them and make my own conclusions based on the posted comments and then form an opinion. We are all friends on this board. We debate and learn from each other. That was the purpose.

 

When I started the thread, I stated my view on the subject at the time, in order to start the thread. It was more like in the form of a question than a firm view (please read my OP where I asked readers if I live in an imaginary fictitious world of my own) and then politely requested others to enter their views (pros and cons alike welcomed) on the subject. My view by no means is/was cast in stone and can be changing as the majority (of lady providers) who posted seem to indicate that hobbying is paying for sex.

 

I am not firm on my opinions (as a few posts has indicated there is no 100% right or wrong in this subject and as you can see my original post has received positively by quite a few as well, including a lady service provider) or never claim I am unconditionally right. I respect other people's views and believe in the freedom of speech. And yes I could be wrong. I am only a human lol.

 

Have to wake up 5:00 am for work lol. Sorry if I offended you dear. Have sweet dreams.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... Am I too optimistic living in a fictitious imaginary world of my own...

 

I pay for sex and fantasy. I would be very disappointed if all I got was the sex. Likewise, I would be very disappointed if all I got was the fantasy.

 

As long as expectations aren't unrealistic, every client's fantasy about what "really" is taking place during and surrounding their meetings is just as valid as any other client's fantasy. I can see that my imaginary world is definitely not the same as SA's; and his is definitely not the same as mine.

 

This is as it should be. Everyone has their own needs and wants. If every person's self-image and perception of reality were just the same as every other person's self-image and perception of reality ... boy, it would truly be a boring old world, now wouldn't it!

 

So, to address SA's question:

 

... How many of you would agree that we should enjoy our time and be happy and how many would disagree that in fact hobbying is indeed paying for sex or we should be upset about it?....

 

Enjoy? Check!

Be Happy? Check!

Pay for sex? Check!

Upset? Nay Never!

[Guest]

A lot of the time a client will want more than sex. It is not uncommon for a client to take a special lady out to dinner, ect, ect. Hence the saying the girlfriend experience. Also when bonds are made the sessions are more enjoyable for the client and the sp. There is that underlined sexual tension and at some point it will be resolved. So yes it is a payed transaction for the intent of sexual actions. It doesn't mean that it can't be a genuine memorable experience. The lady visiting you is a guest and should be treated like one. If any client treated me unfairly. I would not take the money and simply walk out. In most cases you are paying for convenience. Like Carrie said you can pay for a date all you want. That doesn't mean you are going to have sex. Or the pleasure of seeing that girl naked. With the right attitude you can make anything special. It is how you perceive the world. If it was just sex we wouldn't have cerb and all the lovely ladies here. So to the ladies keep on giving a great service. To the gents keep on giving the ladies the respect they deserve and everyone will be happy.

[Guest c******n****h]

This thread has proven quite educational for me. It is clear that we all share different opinions and perspectives on this topic. I for one, recognize that there is a clearly defined expectation when seeing an SP compared to a dancer. I expect to have sex with one and be teased by the other. There are alos many, many reasons why someone visits an SP. There may be an expectation of companionship, fantasy and/or sex. The truly great providers make you feel important, wanted and the sex is often fantastic. I appreciate the effort they make, but at the end of the day, for them it is a job and I don't believe there is any emotional connection. We are the client and they are provding a service, one that we pay for, that comes with expectations. Like Carrie and others have said, if the service is not provided, reputations and reviews will reflect this.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

I am being paid to provide a sexual service. Sure there are non-sexual activities.... cuddling, conversation, laughing, etc. but you guys wouldn't be paying me for those activities if I had a penis instead of a vagina. No, the experience isn't just about S-E-X but all aspects of the experience are sexual in nature.

[Guest S***dst***]

I pay for sex and fantasy. I would be very disappointed if all I got was the sex. Likewise, I would be very disappointed if all I got was the fantasy.

 

As long as expectations aren't unrealistic, every client's fantasy about what "really" is taking place during and surrounding their meetings is just as valid as any other client's fantasy. I can see that my imaginary world is definitely not the same as SA's; and his is definitely not the same as mine.

 

This is pretty much my veiw aswell.

Most Escorts see a lot of married men. While it's not meant as a means for obtaining sex, per say, for most of them it seems a way to experience what is missing in their marriage; or better themselves in their marriage?

 

Sex AND fantasy is the big thing, as WiT states. Omg I just thought of the "married with children" theme song "Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage" (ya I'm pretty bad like that)

Seriosuly the fantasy goes with the sex, hand in hand, like a horse and carriage ;-), even if you aren't aware of it.

 

Even something as simple as who the lady is/looks like.

Ever wanted a hot Milf? Call up Carrie, Meg etc

Petite little spinner?

Hot french girl?

Young blonde?

Exotic looking lady?

Gorgeous lady teasing you with her hot body?

The popular school gril?

The sensual lover?

BBW?

Dominatrix? (as I understand it, this type of session generally doesn't involve sex?)

 

As for massage, ya I expect "sexual contact" otherwise I would just visit a massage therapist, right? (I love you ladies aswell no offense intended)

[Ronsonmultifill 112]

I am fairly new to the board and for what it is worth I will throw my 2 cents in. This is what I think and I know for sure that not everyone will agree with me.

 

Sex is never free (at least for males lol). You always pay for it. It has never happened to me that a woman has walked up to me and said lets go have sex. Whether you are dating someone, married to someone, or calling a sp. There is always a cost. Either dinner/gifts/movies/drinks ect..... for girls you are dating. Even if you are married and she makes more money than you there will always be spending money on her to keep her happy trips/gifts/date night ect... Now I know that saying this is probably going to catch a little backlash here but before you let loose on me just think first. If you were married/dating a guy and he just wanted to sit at home and do nothing all day every day how long would you stay with him honestly?!? After all this like it has been stated before you might get lucky you might not (prob not if your married lol). So I see no prob cutting out the middle men and giving a donation to a sp. I am happy they are happy it is a win win for everyone involved. I would say that this is true 99.5% of the time. I am stating this because I know someone is going to say something about a one night stand that they had 1 time where they picked up someone at the end of the night and had not paid a cent to entertain them. Even then I say you paid money to go out yourself taxi/gas/cover/drinks in order to pick up, so I say you still paid to have sex. The only diff is that you are not giving the money to the girl as you would with a sp.

 

Ok now all the people I pissed off can have at the lighter boy lol.

[masterowls 249]

Thanks everyone for your time, comments and participation so far. I can see that the first two respondents are at least partially agree with me and after reading the comments I do agree to an extend that this question is not a black and white thing as first it appears (to me) to be.

 

Outforfun, of course you are entitled to your view by all means and I sincerely thank you for your participation but I beg to differ for the following reasons:

 

As I mentioned I have had nude dancers, private dancing with no sex that I had as guests and we both had great time with wine and chocolate and music and flashing lights, really partying with lots of hugs and kisses. They have been invited back too. This means I paid for their companionship and NOT sex. The reason I did not recommend them because almost all dancer strongly prefer to remain anonymous however I have recommended many dancers I have seen in the clubs.

 

My point is that if the lady visits you as a guest and is treated as a guest (or you are in her place as a guest) and the choice is all hers as what to provide and not to provide based on many factors, including the hobbyist's looks and hygiene (that is why most of us use the term YMMV when recommending) and she equally enjoys her time and we reward them for their time and companionship, then what is the difference between this and dating which we take our date to a dinner or bars or buy her expensive jewelry or gifts on a regular basis to reward our GF for being there and joy she provides us with her companionship?.

 

I do agree that this may not apply to those ladies who work for agencies as some (likely most) of those ladies are under pressure and would be hard for them to refuse a client or services as they would likely get into trouble with their boss. That is likely why I have strong preference for independents who are on their own, In particular cerb indies lol.

 

To answer SmartnSexy's question, yes I used to spend a larger percentage of my income (as graduate student I was earning some) on girlfriends that I used to have while in Montreal than now I spend on hobbying lol.

 

Thanks eveyone again for your contributions and participations so far and future posts as well. It is becoming an interesting thread thanks to all of you.

I personally think that whether you consider a session with a Paid companion a date, depends on the connection you feel with the lady. For me, the first session _is_ usually about the sex. After that, if I feel a connection with her on more than a sexual level, I tend to refer to her as a friend with mutual benefits, and call future sessions dates. I'm actually just getting back into the hobby after a two-year break for medical reasons. (I had a rare operation called a bilateral hip resection, and because of a mistake, I had to have the same operation redone) when I have the financial resources, I plan to make this session the best "date" I can. I think I've earned it.

Those of you who are interested in learning exactly what the operation entails, can send me a private message.