fr33yay0 1172 Report post Posted March 31, 2015 Hello, I have been a somewhat newb at this now for about 7-8 months. I have seen 3-4 SP's from Lyla and some from elsewhere and I do have to admit that the last few I saw from here definitely changed my mind about this hobby. So here's my questions... (1) I am the type of guy who likes the girl to be in control, I want to accept and give kisses but I want you to take control and chose what happens, when, etc... Now is this something that's normally set by the SP prior to the kisses? Or at the event? When is it appropriate to discuss these items? I feel like if I discuss them before hand, then it's too much of a "staged" event... I like to let things flow... thoughts?! SPs what do you think? (2) I have done a lot of research when choosing my SPs (of course that's depending on if they allow me! lol)... but I am missing some research on duo's. Is there such a thing? or do normally ask your regular SP? Sorry, I am at a loss for solutions and this one. I want to partake in a duo kiss session.. but don't quite know where to start. (3) What's the biggest hurdle to an independent or not? So far, I have to admit the independent certified SP's are far greater than not. Am I missing something ? or maybe I haven't seen the correct SPs? Thanks in advance! If anyone wants to respond or PM... whatever works! Cheers, C Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted March 31, 2015 (1) I am the type of guy who likes the girl to be in control, I want to accept and give kisses but I want you to take control and chose what happens, when, etc... Now is this something that's normally set by the SP prior to the kisses? Or at the event? When is it appropriate to discuss these items? I feel like if I discuss them before hand, then it's too much of a "staged" event... I like to let things flow... thoughts?! SPs what do you think? Personally, I'd let your chosen SP know when booking that that's something you're looking for. If you spring it on her during, she may be caught off guard and be unprepared. Most of us try to stay in control of the appointment anyway, but subtly so. If you're looking for something more dominatrix-y, then you should look for someone who offers professional BDSM services. You don't have to go into too much detail--what you've written here is enough. It gives the escort an idea of what you like but you haven't sat down and written out a schedule or play by play so it won't feel staged during. (2) I have done a lot of research when choosing my SPs (of course that's depending on if they allow me! lol)... but I am missing some research on duo's. Is there such a thing? or do normally ask your regular SP? Sorry, I am at a loss for solutions and this one. I want to partake in a duo kiss session.. but don't quite know where to start. You have a few options here. You can do a search of the forums for the word "duos." There was a thread awhile back where everyone announced who they were comfortable doing duos with. You can ask your chosen SP if she has a friend she can bring along or who she works with. Some advertise on their websites who they do duos with. (3) What's the biggest hurdle to an independent or not? So far, I have to admit the independent certified SP's are far greater than not. Am I missing something ? or maybe I haven't seen the correct SPs? I'm not sure I understand what you're asking here. Are you asking what is the biggest hurdle to being an independent, or are you asking why there are so many indy escorts vs agency girls? I'm confused. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted March 31, 2015 Hello, I have been a somewhat newb at this now for about 7-8 months. I have seen 3-4 SP's from Lyla and some from elsewhere and I do have to admit that the last few I saw from here definitely changed my mind about this hobby. So here's my questions... (1) I am the type of guy who likes the girl to be in control, I want to accept and give kisses but I want you to take control and chose what happens, when, etc... Now is this something that's normally set by the SP prior to the kisses? Or at the event? When is it appropriate to discuss these items? I feel like if I discuss them before hand, then it's too much of a "staged" event... I like to let things flow... thoughts?! SPs what do you think? (2) I have done a lot of research when choosing my SPs (of course that's depending on if they allow me! lol)... but I am missing some research on duo's. Is there such a thing? or do normally ask your regular SP? Sorry, I am at a loss for solutions and this one. I want to partake in a duo kiss session.. but don't quite know where to start. (3) What's the biggest hurdle to an independent or not? So far, I have to admit the independent certified SP's are far greater than not. Am I missing something ? or maybe I haven't seen the correct SPs? Thanks in advance! If anyone wants to respond or PM... whatever works! Cheers, C Well I'll toss out a couple answers for you ;-) 1) When you set up a date with a lady tell her you would prefer her to be in control of the session...keeping in mind in all communications, you are paying a lady for time and companionship only. Don't discuss specific activities, just that you'd like her to be in control. 2) When it comes to duos, often a lady's website has links to ladies she has as duo partners. Also, this thread, granted from last year, might help http://www.lyla.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=162123&highlight=thread And when you have your encounter with a lady, tell her that a duo interests you (assuming the lady you are seeing is one of the duo partners, nothing than a worse faux pas than asking one lady you'd like to see two other ladies)...does she know of any lady interested 3) Maybe I'm misunderstanding your question. The biggest hurdle for meeting any lady, at least me is not stumbling and falling weak kneed when I hear the knock on the door Seriously, contact the lady using her preferred method of contact, provide all screening/verification information, and book a date with her A couple ramblings Hope they helped RG 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fr33yay0 1172 Report post Posted March 31, 2015 Thanks for the quick replies... I understand for point (1)... maybe a quick blurb before hand is better. I am not talking about domination, or play, etc... I am strictly speaking on a flow level. Meaning, I like to be kissed here and do that, then I can kiss you after you kiss me, etc... instead of the good old "ok, what do you want baby?". I would rather not think about it...and just do it. Maybe I haven't found chemistry yet. Thanks for the thread of (2). I will keep looking... As for (3), maybe it was confusing of a question. I guess I had never researched the pros and cons of each... and always had a WAY BETTER time at the independent level. I was just curious as to why it was like that? But maybe no one can answer that except me... Cheers, C Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted March 31, 2015 Thanks for the quick replies... As for (3), maybe it was confusing of a question. I guess I had never researched the pros and cons of each... and always had a WAY BETTER time at the independent level. I was just curious as to why it was like that? But maybe no one can answer that except me... Cheers, C Still not 100 percent clear on your question but I'll hazard a guess. First are you asking why you had a better time with an independent companion versus an agency companion My take on it, it is entirely dependant on the companion and your chemistry with her and she with you Some ladies like being independent Some ladies like being with an agency Maybe the ladies you saw that were agency you didn't click with or just saw it as a job. And maybe you saw ladies you clicked with who also were independents My personal take on it, it has more to do with chemistry/connection and the lady liking her profession than it does with whether she is independent or agency A rambling RG 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fr33yay0 1172 Report post Posted March 31, 2015 You might be correct on that one...its day and night for me. But again, could be the SPs I am choosing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Midnite-Energies 110563 Report post Posted March 31, 2015 To add a bit more to what has already been said, the difference you may be seeing between independent and other ladies is in the fact that they ARE independent. They run things the way they want, tailored to their likes, needs and wants and they present themselves in a way that tries to attract the kind of client they want to see. Non independent ladies may have things structured for them, have rules and ways of doing things planned out for them. Some may be specifically chosen to fit into certain requirements. If you're looking for non independent quality providers, my suggestion would be to research the agencies or spa's to see how they work. Look for recommendations or threads that comment on the business itself and then find one that more closely resembles what you;re looking for. Then you can begin to research the specific ladies. However, if you're having really good results with the ladies you have seen, look at your criteria and how you choose or what you need and continue to look in this vein or apply it to the above. Good luck with your search. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mister T 45020 Report post Posted March 31, 2015 You've had great advice here, especially from Berlin. But perhaps i can add a very pointed comment (can't speak about dealing with agencies as i never have) ... (3) What's the biggest hurdle to an independent or not? So far, I have to admit the independent certified SP's are far greater than not. Am I missing something ? or maybe I haven't seen the correct SPs? .... you used independent certified SP, which only means that they have access to the verified independent area of this site. I've met Indies that are "verified" and those that are "general members" and had a great time with both, but i'm sure you meant indies in general! And too, as Midnite implies, research, research, research. And it pays to communicate beforehand a bit (an intro email could do most of that too). Hope this helps you. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
50 Shades Raven 31380 Report post Posted April 1, 2015 Most of us that offer they type of services that you are looking for advertise it on our websites. Check the websites of the ladies/agencies that you are interested in, and don't be afraid to ask questions of what you are looking for. If you are seeking a lady that likes to be in charge, by all means ask if this is something that can be accommodated. There is never anything wrong with asking, and it doesn't matter if that lady is independent or with an agency, once you find the right fit, you will be a happy hobbiest. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meaghan McLeod 179664 Report post Posted April 1, 2015 One point on independent vs agency. When I worked for an agency in Toronto, the only info I had was a name and address. I didn't know what questions he asked, what choices he had etc. When I work indy, I get an email, and a phone conversation beforehand. So I have an opportunity to know a bit before we meet. The other thing when working with an agency, I always felt like I had to leave right away because the driver wanted me to go to my next call. Also, you typically give half your money to the agency and driver. So you had to see twice the guys to meet your financial goals. I will never work for an agency if I can help it. I prefer running my business my way. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted April 1, 2015 (3) What's the biggest hurdle to an independent or not? So far, I have to admit the independent certified SP's are far greater than not. Am I missing something ? or maybe I haven't seen the correct SPs? Obviously I don't know, having never been on that side of things, but... I think the biggest difference is that an independent lady is running her own business. That means she has to do all her own screening, advertizing, marketing, and everything else. It means she may miss appointments because she can't always answer the phone. An agency may be better for someone who's intermittently in and out of the industry. But on the positive side: she's in complete control of who she sees and when; she's in control of how she markets herself; and she gets to keep all the money she collects, set her own rates, make her own rules, and probably some other things too. Which side of the equation comes out on top is an individual decision. The same answer isn't right for everyone. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted April 1, 2015 Yes to add to what Meaghan has said--when I worked for an agency, I got almost zero information about who I was going to see or what they were looking for. Sometimes, I didn't even have a name. You are going into the appointment totally blind. If you're not good on the fly, things can be awkward at first. As an indy, I am the one handling all emails and calls. I know who is coming to see me and what they're looking for in terms of service and look. We've often chatted prior to meeting, so there is no awkward initial conversation about what is going to happen. I mean, when I would do agency calls, I had a little speech prepared at the beginning about what I was willing to do and my restrictions because I had no idea what the agency may or may not have told the client. There was too much pressure on me to do everything and be everything because I didn't want to disappoint anyone. I find being an indy much more relaxed for that reason. I attract the clients I want to see who want the services I offer and things are less up in the air. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fr33yay0 1172 Report post Posted April 1, 2015 Thanks for the replies everyone, this again proves why this site is so amazing. :) I have been researching for a while now... so I guess when I reach out to my next adventure of kisses I will be sure to speak about certain items ahead of time. Cheers all! :) 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MoodyBlue 392 Report post Posted April 8, 2015 You've had great advice here, especially from Berlin. But perhaps i can add a very pointed comment (can't speak about dealing with agencies as i never have) ... .... And too, as Midnite implies, research, research, research. And it pays to communicate beforehand a bit (an intro email could do most of that too). Hope this helps you. As a new member myself, I am already discovering that I need to invest a lot of time into research and even then, when you communicate, it's important to be brutally honest. This applies to an e-mail or PM but, as I am discovering, it also requires the SP MA to be honest. Don't sugar coat it ladies because you feel it necessary or maybe it can still be overlooked. If for any reason, either party is not 100% comfortable or you get a "gut feeling" that sincerity is not there, best to move on. You reap what you sow they say. Another thing I have also learned is that I need to "cool it" and not behave like a kid in a candy shop who wants his candy right away like a spoiled child. Better to cool my jets, relax, it will happen. By doing this, it takes much pressure off, no need to jump to commitment on your first promising reply. I wanted to write a special thank you for this post because I have learned from it and it has changed how I approach all this. It would seem that research and patience are key. As they say.... "The best things in life are worth waiting for." And if I might add... will be twice as sweet. :) Thank you! 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fr33yay0 1172 Report post Posted April 8, 2015 Great post!!! :) Thanks for that Moody... I feel the exact way. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
