Choosing an SP who genuinely enjoys what she does for a living.

[RobX 2084]

It is important for me in choosing an SP that I know that she enjoys what she does, NOT that she is good at pretending that she enjoys her work, but rather that she genuinely enjoys what she does for a living, her work provides her with personal fulfillment, she is always eager to meet her regular customers and is excited to meet new clients, she truly enjoys the time she spends with a client, and she usually leaves the appointment on a high. If this sounds like I'm dreaming in technicolor, then I would at least like to able to choose an SP who comes as close as realistically possible to this ideal.

 

I believe that if an SP does NOT enjoy what she does for a living , it diminishes the quality of the appointment. Even if she is a very good actress and able to convince the client that she is enjoying herself, I believe that that the encounter is diminished on some level, because the SP is, in a sense, a victim of the encounter, because she has to endure something that causes her psychological distress.

 

Obviously, if I simply ask an SP if she enjoys her work, before making an appointment with her, I already know what her answer will be. It will be something along the lines of : "Are you kidding? I love my work!? I would therefore like to have some guidelines to follow that will increase my chances of choosing an SP who genuinely enjoys what she does for a living. Here are some ideas I came up with. I would like to know if these are realistic, and if anyone has other suggestions:

 

• Choose Indy SPs rather than those who work for an agency, because Indys are more likely to have chosen their work because they love it.
  
• Choose SPs over the age of 25, because they are less likely to be simply in it for the money, or working for a pimp.
  
• Choose SPs who are GFE, since SPs who are GFE are more likely to enjoy what they do than SPs who do not enjoy their work at all and therefore only offer minimal services
  
• Avoid SPs who are often late or who frequently cancel appointments, since this may indicate psychological distress caused by their work as SPs.
  
• Learn to read body language, and how to determine if a person's smile is genuine or false, and if a person is lying or not.
  

Are these ideas realistic? Does anyone have other suggestions? Basically. I want to be able to choose SPs in such a manner as to ensure that the enjoyment from an appointment is not one-sided, and I especially want to ensure that the appointment does not cause the SP damaging psychological distress.

[mzcoventina 100]

As with any job there are people who love their work....and there are people who just do the work for the money. It can be hard to choose a Pro who is into her/his work...but I think after you spend a some time with us it become obvious how we feel about our work. I kicking balls for money-WHICH I LOVE!

I love my work and I love being a Domme for lots of reasons-I get to meet great people who want to explore their fantasy's that are usually a little different that what is considered 'normal'. In Western culture we are too often judged for any sexual experience that is different than two people 'in love' having missionary style sex. BORING! That's bull shit as far as I am concerned. I embrace peoples sexual fetishes and give them a safe place to explore and push their boundaries. People come to me and trust me to help them reveal their kinky side. This is the number one reason why I love my job, because my clients and I can have some fun and not be judged. People are sexual creates and being sexual in the dungeon is one of my favorite parts of my day

Mz Coventina

wwww.mzcoventina.com

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

• Choose Indy SPs rather than those who work for an agency, because Indys are more likely to have chosen their work because they love it.
  
• Choose SPs over the age of 25, because they are less likely to be simply in it for the money, or working for a pimp.
  
• Choose SPs who are GFE, since SPs who are GFE are more likely to enjoy what they do than SPs who do not enjoy their work at all and therefore only offer minimal services
  
• Avoid SPs who are often late or who frequently cancel appointments, since this may indicate psychological distress caused by their work as SPs.
  
• Learn to read body language, and how to determine if a person's smile is genuine or false, and if a person is lying or not.
  

Eventhough I do agree about your statement, I do not agree with your list...

Indies may do it also for drugs, a pimp, or in last resort... Those are reasons for agencies not to hire a girl...

I know SPs that are 19-20 years old, with a true pornstar mentality, and some 30-35 that still say they would never do this for the rest of their life...

SPs that are offering a GENUINE GFE are more sensitive regarding feelings and emotions, wich could be a desavantage...

Being late means that we are not staying at our incall location (to be read trapped in) for the whole day.

BODY LANGUAGE NEVER LIES...

 

Well known agencies (I just hate what I'm about to write...) are very selective on their girls. They have a reputation to keep, such as well known SPs, so they will select somebody who is enjoying it... Their goal is to maintain a regular staff to have as much repeat as they can...

First sign of SP burn-out (when she dos not enjoy) is an SP who start to party or drink... It happens once in a while... Not everyday...

Regarding the age, I suggest you go more in what the girl offers, then how old she is... Is she able to maintain some sort of limit? Or to give you th service she told she were? Or was it just a trap to get you at her place?

Be careful about the GFE thing... Sometimes, girls are not able to deal with others personnal life... I know, it has happened to me... I took a 4 month vacations to be able to get rid of my clients problems...

And yes, it happens that I'm late... If I have to go to the bank, there might be a huge line up, or I can get caught in traffic just as you. I don't spend my whole life at my incall...

 

It's easy to have judgements. Lot of us are offering our time to go to the coffee shop, or have dinner, for a rate that is lower then usual, just for you to get to know us...

 

I think if you really want the true one, you should PM some ladies in here that would be more then happy to join you for a coffee!!!

[Parker 19761]

 

 

• Choose Indy SPs rather than those who work for an agency, because Indys are more likely to have chosen their work because they love it.
  
• Choose SPs over the age of 25, because they are less likely to be simply in it for the money, or working for a pimp.
  
• Choose SPs who are GFE, since SPs who are GFE are more likely to enjoy what they do than SPs who do not enjoy their work at all and therefore only offer minimal services
  
• Avoid SPs who are often late or who frequently cancel appointments, since this may indicate psychological distress caused by their work as SPs.
  
• Learn to read body language, and how to determine if a person's smile is genuine or false, and if a person is lying or not.
  

Are these ideas realistic? Does anyone have other suggestions? Basically. I want to be able to choose SPs in such a manner as to ensure that the enjoyment from an appointment is not one-sided, and I especially want to ensure that the appointment does not cause the SP damaging psychological distress.

 

The problem with this is you can't paint all people the same.

 

Firstly, I take GREAT offense that us under 25 are taken are less intelligent, less adept in good conversation (both of which are common themes).. or even less into or serious about our jobs... The fact that we're more likely to be pimped is not only the most stupid of things I've ever read, but a huge insult as well..

 

I know plenty of people over 40 who are absolute morons.. age has NOTHING to do with it...

 

Secondly, frequently canceling meaning psychological distress??

How about people have lives?? I've had plenty of clients that had to cancel (some more than once), if I painted them all as nuts I wouldn't be seeing any clients. I'm not saying if she cancels all the time she's great.. but psychological distress?? Honestly?

 

Lastly, I believe most of us do enjoy our jobs.. at least until we put up with stupid people, countless questions and have to constantly defend ourselves, our actions and our choices to others.

 

If you want to make sure she is loving her job, how about not dissecting her life, smile and way she works and just treating her like a lady... show her a good time and enjoy yourself.. if she wasn't loving her job the moment before, she will when you make her job easy by being a good client and treating her with the respect she deserves.

 

Sorry if this seemed rant like.. I just think it's really lame when I see "Oh and this one actually enjoys her work" .. We can't all love all our jobs all time now can we?

 

It just seems so dehumanizing that we wouldn't be like everyone else..

[Ashley Ann 75247]

I presume you will get many different responses to your question as it really does depend on the individual, their mind frame and of course their own view on their own business ......

 

For MYSELF (speaking on behalf of myself) in order to genuinely enjoy what I do, these are the following rules I must abide by to retain my personal and mental health......

 

1) Do NOT have a boyfriend, or be in a relationship

I am a pretty open minded person, like to have sex with no strings attached, don't really have to know someone all that well, ( gotta love condoms!!!) I love sex!!!! HOWEVER, when its time for me to settle down ( if ever) and be in a committed relationship with someone (do they even exist??) It will surely be AFTER I pull the plug on this business.....I have tried a different route in previous years,,, I had a boyfriend, we lived together (prior to my child) I would tell him to leave when someone was on the way....or I had to leave to go on a call, honestly, He would be on my mind the whole time that I would be with clients, wondering if he cared, did this bug him, as well as <why the fuck does he allow this, why doesn't he try to stop me, why doesnt this bother him???> That type of shit totally affected me, my mentality & my personal life, which then trickled down to my clients.....

 

2) Limit the clients I see & never, ever work on a day when I am NOT feeling it...NO MATTER WHAT!!!

 

Because of the low volume of clients that I see, this really helps me maintain my positive and pleasant attitude, it also helps keep me liking what I do. Keeps it fresh & exciting, NOT old & stale..A few year back, I had an apartment on the side, I would see many clients per month, ( round it out to about 2-3 clients per day, 4 to 5 days a week) the money was fantab , but I was really, really unhappy, did not like the way I felt, cause most of the men I was seeing were men I would never even have a conversation with, had it not been for the money....now if I do not like the sound of your voice, your approach or what you write to me in emails, or even if I have any kind of funny and/or odd feeling, I do not see them...this method really does work best for ME...

 

3) Not really into clients who are unsure if they are attracted to bigger girls or not, for me, what gets me off in the hardest way is when the men I see are really into & love my body!!! And yes, these men do exisit..lol!!!

 

If a man appears to be uncertain about me in anyway when he sees me, well, I pass on them too!!! I guess some feel, they drove out here, made the appointment, and might as well go through with it attitude, I pass, the amount of money is just not worth me feeling uncomfortable and taking a chance on altering my business by providing a half ass service..and NO I do NOT take money for being uncertain..not into causing drama for 20-40 cancellation fee( this only happened once so far since my return, but have no problem sticking to it!!!

 

 

Please note, many of us have the best intentions when meeting new clients, we like to meet new guys, as well as build lasting & ongoing relationships, this really is our intent (most of us anyway) and we want to get off too, sexually, and have a little high afterwards too, cause we enjoyed ourselves so much, while already looking forward to seeing the client again in the future ( this is what makes our job awesome)...this does occur for sure, BUT , I would be full of serious shit if I indicated that this happens to us with every hobbiest we meet , cause that is not the case at all,,it has to do with chemistry, and if you connect on a really hot sensual level...

 

All this to say, there is no full proof method to find a sp who genuinely enjoys her work and who will ALSO genuinely enjoy her time with YOU just cause its a for sure thing (kinda sorta)..It is a matter of finding one you can connect with on many levels...

 

Sooooo, guys, when you find that type of sp TREAT her right & do not take her for granted, you never what the future will hold for her and where her future career plans may take her...

[wendigo 687]

I may be somewhat pessimistic, but how much a provider enjoys her job (versus how much she pretends to enjoy it) does not factor in to my decision whether to see her. The thing is, the ones that are the best at pretending are indistinguishable from the ones that truly enjoy it to me.

 

That being said, I strive to make an encounter as enjoyable as possible for my companion. My approach is to be as courteous, respectful and clean as possible, but this doesn't guarantee that a provider will truly "enjoy" our time together - chemistry is something that can't be obtained by any one formula. Due to the personal nature of the business, no matter what effort I go to ensure a smooth encounter, the enjoyment aspect on the part of the provider will often be an illusion, and I can accept that.

[RobX 2084]

... I take GREAT offense that us under 25 are taken are less intelligent, less adept in good conversation (both of which are common themes).. or even less into or serious about our jobs... The fact that we're more likely to be pimped is not only the most stupid of things I've ever read, but a huge insult as well..

 

I know plenty of people over 40 who are absolute morons.. age has NOTHING to do with it...

 

I'm sorry if you were insulted by my comments. I assure you that it was not at all my intention. My reference to SPs under 25 was simply because I was under the impression that pimps specifically targeted and recruited among females who were under 25. Therefore, statistically it follows that, to the extent that the pimps were successful in their recruiting, the end result would be a higher percentage of sex workers under 25 controlled by pimps than would be the case of the over-25 age group, providing we make an additional assumption that the average SP's career span is usually very short. If my assumptions are not correct, then I agree that age should not be a criteria in choosing an SP. In any case, I apologize once again if I offended anyone. It was purely unintentional.

[PistolPete 61421]

Naomi comments were bang on, 1 should never make assumptions.

 

All the ladies are mature,intelligent and very giving that I have seen/visited regardless of their age. Being respectful ensures a great encounter always.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

"Choose SPs who are GFE, since SPs who are GFE are more likely to enjoy what they do than SPs who do not enjoy their work at all and therefore only offer minimal services"

 

I agree with most of what you said, but not this one. The reason I offer limited services as a massage provider isn't because I don't like what I do, it's because I only want to do what I like, hence I limit my services to only what I like!

 

Another thing I find is that low-volume providers tend to enjoy their work much more.

[Guest S***e]

The simple fact of the matter is that we are all individuals and as pointed out a person's age has little to do with maturity, intelligence or character. Over the years I've seen ladies ranging in ages from their early twenties to well in their fifties and they all differ as do we as clients. Sometimes things click and sometimes they don't just like other life relationships. We like who we like and that's it really. It's best to be oneself and to be true to oneself with no smoke and mirrors. Many people spend their entire careers disliking their jobs. Some people are never happy with anything and some people are just plain happy. Take it for what it is.

[E.D. man 691]

I believe you have to go by trial an error.

Are you looking for hot passionate which descibes Sin Cindy, theirs no way she can be that great at her job and not love it. I say she enjoys her work tremendously. As does Kimberly-Shea who sexuality is sensual and slower kind of sex with fullfillment, And she enjoys a good cuddle after with me anyway.

I believe chemistry is all part of the sitution too.

I have had SP's who made me think that I was doing necrophillia(sic) lifeless and boring.

So finding someone you enjoy being with may take time and several tries. And if the chemistry is right go with it!!!!

[777flyer 1612]

MP

 

i think you are using too broad a brush stroke in your analysis....and while some of your comments may have some validity, it comes down to the individual SP, and how she perceives herself and her situation......

 

It has very little to do with age, or being an independant vs agency, and so on...

 

it all boils down to the level of maturity an SP has, how comfortable she is in her surroundings, why she is in her chosen profession and so on........a healthy mind and attitude of an SP determine how she views her situation and carries herself publicly and with her clients.....

 

if you survey our ladies on CERB, you sill see a mixture of age, race, affiliation and so on.......the only thing they will have in common is their healthy attitude and desire to be in this hobby..........

 

All this shows up in spades when you visit an SP, who has a great head on her shoulders, is confident about herself and why she is in the business......

 

SNK

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Does anyone have other suggestions?.

 

Just a brief suggestion since you asked. Treat her with full repect. Make her feel safe welcomed attractive and loved and treasured, then regardless of any of above items in your list there is a good chance that she would enjoy what she does genuinely, at least while she is with you. I guess what I am suggesting is that there should be a list for us too, not just for an SP in this regard. My 2 cents.

[Guest Ou**or**n]

I think some of you are being a bit hard on the OP. I take his comments to be more in the vein of 'choosing an SP for dummies' than being meant as commandments from above. I see then as a set of guidelines for noobs to follow to get a good experience. I think his main point is that the best experience in general is with a lady than enjoys her job. The points raised to help find such ladies seemed to be meant as generalized pointers to that end.

 

Of course there are tons of great ladies that enjoy their jobs that don't fit all those criteria. Additionally if someone stuck only to those criteria they would be miss a lot of great experiences.

 

SA in his post above also gives a word of great advice - as a hobbyist your own attitude and treatment of the lady can enable her to enjoy her experience with you. There are tons of threads and great advice on this board on being exactly that type of client. Being a good client and sticking to well reviewed ladies on this board are my main guidelines to finding ladies that at the very least enjoy themselves with me.

 

On the point of ladies that are frequently late and cancel frequently I believe he is making the point in respects to girls that do this with a much higher degree of frequency than normal life situations. I have met more than one lady that was finding this business was not for them. As they went through this 'deciding' phase they often went back and forth - taking bookings and then cancelling some of them. We have seen this pattern - a lady starts out and is popular, has a couple of bad experiences, goes through a frequent cancelling phase and then drops out of the business. We've seen a few ladies come and go on this board that would match that description.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

I have never been with an agency but IMO a lady working for one chose this profession same way an 'indy' did just may have different views on the advantages of being with an agency and that may suit her needs.

 

As others here have mentioned, the key for the SP to enjoy the appointment is you being respectful and communication prior the encounter and a little research (posts, recommendations) may make a difference as you can sense the vibe of who you'll meet.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

I started out working for agencies and that was because I couldn't drive, honestly.

 

Becoming and indy to me has been the best choice I have made for myself in this business.

 

I'm single now and there are sides to me that I never knew existed. I'm so more sexual and free.

 

I choose when I work and who I see and do exactly what I want, have fun, meet new people and actually enjoy sex now and the new experiences.

 

I've learned so much about my sexuality that half the time I don't know what to do with myself or contain my wild side.

 

I love seeing my regulars and also meeting new people and first timers.

 

I have no reason to lie or I wouldn't be in this business if I didn't enjoy all the fun I have and being treated like a sex kitten goddess, cherished and treated like I'm the most sexy, beautiful lady in the world during my encounters I'd be doing something else.

[VedaSloan 119179]

The problem with this is you can't paint all people the same.

 

Firstly, I take GREAT offense that us under 25 are taken are less intelligent, less adept in good conversation (both of which are common themes).. or even less into or serious about our jobs... The fact that we're more likely to be pimped is not only the most stupid of things I've ever read, but a huge insult as well..

 

I know plenty of people over 40 who are absolute morons.. age has NOTHING to do with it...

 

Secondly, frequently canceling meaning psychological distress??

How about people have lives?? I've had plenty of clients that had to cancel (some more than once), if I painted them all as nuts I wouldn't be seeing any clients. I'm not saying if she cancels all the time she's great.. but psychological distress?? Honestly?

 

Lastly, I believe most of us do enjoy our jobs.. at least until we put up with stupid people, countless questions and have to constantly defend ourselves, our actions and our choices to others.

 

If you want to make sure she is loving her job, how about not dissecting her life, smile and way she works and just treating her like a lady... show her a good time and enjoy yourself.. if she wasn't loving her job the moment before, she will when you make her job easy by being a good client and treating her with the respect she deserves.

 

Sorry if this seemed rant like.. I just think it's really lame when I see "Oh and this one actually enjoys her work" .. We can't all love all our jobs all time now can we?

 

It just seems so dehumanizing that we wouldn't be like everyone else..

 

You said it!

 

I'm sorry if you were insulted by my comments. I assure you that it was not at all my intention. My reference to SPs under 25 was simply because I was under the impression that pimps specifically targeted and recruited among females who were under 25. Therefore, statistically it follows that, to the extent that the pimps were successful in their recruiting, the end result would be a higher percentage of sex workers under 25 controlled by pimps than would be the case of the over-25 age group, providing we make an additional assumption that the average SP's career span is usually very short. If my assumptions are not correct, then I agree that age should not be a criteria in choosing an SP. In any case, I apologize once again if I offended anyone. It was purely unintentional.

 

Well, your starting material is flawed. Pimps are rather outdated. Even the street girls don't bother. Nowadays, the only ladies with pimps are forced, and I can guarantee you that's none of the women here. I am of course, not including agencies under the "pimp" umbrella, in this particular instance.

 

My advice to you is try not to make sweeping assumptions, read up on some of the women you're interested in, read their posts and their website and go from there.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

Nowadays, the only ladies with pimps are forced, and I can guarantee you that's none of the women here. I am of course, not including agencies under the "pimp" umbrella, in this particular instance.

 

I have loved all the responses on here.. and not to be a shit-disturber but here I go..Erin.. you can't guarantee that...while it's true of most of the girls on cerb it's not true of all.. not something you can guarantee.

 

I've personally known girls who had pimps and know presently girls who's bf's would be considered pimps.. if by pimps you mean so's who take all their money and don't work/emotinally abuse them. All were/are very well loved and popular sps.

 

cerb is a great place but it has girls of all types.. and not all of the assumptions about sps are wrong.

 

Pimping is often in fact not always forced.. girls who have pimps choose them.. as ''managers''.

 

Having said that.. since most of you wouldn't know who they were it's not really an issue perhaps. Clients also rarely know if a girl has a drinking problem (unless she's drunk on the job) or a drug problem. I've seen it disguised very well. One didn't do her drugs til the evening (same as most alchoholics) and never with clients. Again.. I was slow to learn but I've learned to read the signs now. This particular girl however had a fantastic work ethic.. was never late and easy to work with.

 

As for girls who are chronically late.. I've known people in all walks of life like this.. and they're just spoiled and self-centered people.. not necessarily drug users.

 

As for GFE meaning you like your job more.. couldn't disagree more. I am not a true GFE but I love my job. You can be technically GFE and still hate what you're doing.

 

Age.. doesn't matter.. your intention and your enjoyment matters.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

I like that Carrie Moon!!

 

 

Age.. doesn't matter.. your intention and your enjoyment matters.

[VedaSloan 119179]

I have loved all the responses on here.. and not to be a shit-disturber but here I go..Erin.. you can't guarantee that...while it's true of most of the girls on cerb it's not true of all.. not something you can guarantee.

 

I've personally known girls who had pimps and know presently girls who's bf's would be considered pimps.. if by pimps you mean so's who take all their money and don't work/emotinally abuse them. All were/are very well loved and popular sps.

 

cerb is a great place but it has girls of all types.. and not all of the assumptions about sps are wrong.

 

Pimping is often in fact not always forced.. girls who have pimps choose them.. as ''managers''.

 

 

 

Pointing out a flaw in my logic or statement is hardly shit-disturbing. You're absolutely correct.

[belfastspider 240]

I agree !!!

[Carrie Moon 68826]

Pointing out a flaw in my logic or statement is hardly shit-disturbing. You're absolutely correct.

 

lol.. this is why I love you!!!

 

I meant the pimp talk.. people get upset thinking about pimps. I know I do.. I heard a story about one last night and if I'd been there I would have bitchslapped the guy myself!

[fortunateone 156618]

I just think the OP is overthinking over analyzing it.

 

If you truly want to feel that (you cannot know 1000%. only feel it is true) that the sp enjoys her work, become a regular client. Far more becomes clear to a known and regular visitor than someone who shows up once, doesn"t feel the "connection" and keeps on searching

 

Accept that it is pretty rare to find one sp who will fulfill 100% of what you would like to see, and accept the next best match. This is the one to spend time with and grow into a client-sp relationship. When you prove yourself to be safe and reliable (takes one visit), and then move onto be a regular visitor who makes and keeps his appts, does not push for more than what is freely offered (proving yourself a safe regular client), then you will by your actions find that you are visiting an sp who enjoys your visits. She might not enjoy every client's visits, but she will enjoy her time with you, and that is what is important after all.

 

Nothing relieves stress in an sp reaching for that phone than getting a call from someone who has your info, knows the way to the door, and is going to show up and be nice.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

Naoimi put it best. You want us to enjoy ourselves and enjoy our time with you? Stop psychoanalysing us, stop asking questions you have no right to ask, and stop emotionally disconnecting under the pretentious guise of analytical observance.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Old Dog 179138]

Naoimi put it best. You want us to enjoy ourselves and enjoy our time with you? Stop psychoanalysing us, stop asking questions you have no right to ask, and stop emotionally disconnecting under the pretentious guise of analytical observance.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

 

Lindsay... I have no idea what you just said, but it gave me a woody. Is that a good thing?