sex appeal

[CristyCurves 169032]

A question asked in another thread prompted me to post this one.

Many companions use their sex appeal to attract clients, so is there anything wrong with other professionals doing the same? Do you find it condescending towards woman when it's done? If not, then how can we feel it wrong for some men to expect it? Aren't those of us who use sexuality to sell teaching others that it's alright, acceptable and that woman are sex objects?

 

This subject has always been troublesome for me as I do use mine often and also feel what I'm doing is wrong. So I'm a hypocrite! But can we sell sexuality and not be hypocritical?

[NotchJohnson 214129]

I thinks it's fair that a woman uses her sex appeal to sell what ever she is selling. Us men are supposed to be the stronger sex but I think we are weak when it comes to eye candy. Lets all face it sex sells!!!

Why would Hooters only hire young sexy ladies to serve tables in their tight shorts and shirts? because men like to see that. You would never see a young guy or older lady serving food there because it's not their policy and it would not work. I'm not a big fan of Hooters food but I still visit when I have a chance because of sexy young ladies.

Car dealership is another place where I have seen young sexy ladies selling in beautiful clothing even sometime revealing, showing cleavage and wearing pencil skirts.

 

IT WORKS !!

[CristyCurves 169032]

I thinks it's fair that a woman uses her sex appeal to sell what ever she is selling. Us men are supposed to be the stronger sex but I think we are weak when it comes to eye candy. Lets all face it sex sells!!!

Why would Hooters only hire young sexy ladies to serve tables in their tight shorts and shirts? because men like to see that. You would never see a young guy or older lady serving food there because it's not their policy and it would not work. I'm not a big fan of Hooters food but I still visit when I have a chance because of sexy young ladies.

Car dealership is another place where I have seen young sexy ladies selling in beautiful clothing even sometime revealing, showing cleavage and wearing pencil skirts.

 

IT WORKS !!

 

True, it does work and does sell, but does that make it right? If we want to send home healthy messages to the young that we are more than our exteriors, more than our our sexuality, then can and should we continue to think it acceptable?

[Ice4fun 78407]

The key to this issue is it should be the individual in question who chooses to use their sex appeal to market their specific product or service.

 

The problem comes when others choose to objectify someone without that person's consent and in doing so risk demeaning that person's Professional credibility based on how they react or behave solely based on the person's physical characteristics. In my opinion there is certainly more to everyone then how they look.

 

Cristy you have chosen to work in a industry where sexual image is a major (but not only factor) so I would assume you accept that others will look at you in that frame of reference... I hope they also see you as a strong independent business woman too.

 

If you had chosen to be for example a real estate agent and prided yourself on your competency and professionalism in that field but people chose to treat you only as the sexy lady I think you might object. Of course should you choose to use your sexy image in your ads to attract clients that should be your choice.

 

Just my Opinion

 

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[NotchJohnson 214129]

I think it is acceptable, is it fair? Maybe not. If a person is fit and uses it to her advantage and another is not as appealing to the eyes it will not work the same. This is were common sense should come in. I'll be honest Cristy and I will probably be hated by others for saying so but men are attracted to the female beauty and if we can see more or get more we will try our best to get it.

Is that what we want to teach our children? No ! I was well raised as a kid(at least I think I was) and I was never thought to look for that but as I grew older I was attracted to sex or sexy in women.

[Amber Rose 19012]

Ice4fun pretty much got it!

It's only fair, acceptable, okay, etc. when the individual is doing it herself, since she is in control of her body and what she chooses to do it. If she wants to use her sex appeal to sell some houses, cars, clothes then she has every right to.

 

However I think the lines get blurred a bit, and if someone in a specific profession is very good-looking, many people may blame their success on their looks or say they were using their sex appeal to sell, even if that person is hard-working and never tried to come off as "sexy" to get a job done.

 

No, we are not as companions teaching others it's alright to sexualize women in other professions. This is a profession where literally sex sells, and while there are some similarities to other jobs, this one is very different is how we get business done, and we have to give enough credit to men that they aren't stupid, and know the difference between this profession and others. In the same sense, we deserve just as much respect as any women in any other job, so when we're being "sexualized" it's only okay when it's on our terms, which should be the same anywhere else in the world.

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[misterdiscretion2014 2032]

In my mind, people in this business are not selling themselves, they're selling an experience, more often than not, a fantasy. In this world, more often than not, that fantasy is sexual, so using sex appeal to sell it seems perfectly normal to me. The best courtesans I've encountered are selling passion, romance, vitality, and as adults, I think we all know what activity those qualities tend to culminate in. When you are in the business of lust, it is in your best interest to do everything in your power to inspire that feeling in your patrons.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

I actually did a blog post recently about the double standards of female sexuality and I did point out that sex sells.

 

However, comparing using sex to sell companionship and sex to sell beer is a stretch. Using one's own sexiness to advertise her companionship is an exercise in total control and autonomy. Advertisers being paid to think up ads that have sexy women in them to sell beer, cars, makeup and everything else is not comparable I don't think.

 

You could argue that women who are in those ads are knowingly participating in using sex to sell, but so what? That is also their choice. This is a form of shaming, in my opinion and I get pretty ranty about it on my blog.

 

Shaming women for choosing to allow their sensual, sexual nature to shine is not okay. If a woman chooses to show her body, that's her call. If I want to sell my new soap (this is an example, I'm not in the soap-making biz) by having racy commercials with sudsed up women in bikinis that's my choice, and the women in that commercial are aware of what they are involved in. Why shame them and imply that they are somehow to blame for society being a-holes about it?

 

A much better investment in time and energy would be to remind people that a human being's sexuality - man or woman - is natural and should not be a basis for shame or negative judgment, nor a basis for superiority.

 

How many times do you hear people - men and women - making snyde comments about a woman's clothes? Oh, look at what she's wearing, what a slut... etc, etc. How many times do we make bullshit judgments on someone's looks? Oh she's gorgeous, she must be an airhead... etc, etc. Oh man, did you hear he scored with ___ chicks last week? *high five* Etc, etc....

 

THAT is what needs to change. People's perceptions, attitudes and stereotypes about sexuality. We all love sex, that's why it sells so many things. But we also have a lot of hangups about sex. It's more socially acceptable for men to be promiscuous than for a woman to be. If a woman doesn't have enough sex, she's frigid. If she has too much she's a slut. If a man doesn't have sex he's defective or undesirable, if he has a lot then he's a stud, someone to look up to. These are generalizations, but they are common enough.

 

Can we take the focus off the women for a while and focus on society's beef with sexuality? It's not a weapon, yet it's been weaponized as a tool of shame and degradation and as a platform to raise oneself up on (mostly the guys).

 

I think this is less about the message that things like this are sending and more about the message that's already been received.

[Victoria Phoenix 3403]

business is business, very well put! We are not selling ourselves, but an experience, a fantasy, and you are so right! Hopefully someday, the majority of society will view it that way! As for sex appeal, I feel every woman has it, it's if she chooses to use it or not to her advantage, and how she uses it. Sex appeal can be used in many different situations, from the industry I am in, where of course I use it, or at least try too lol,,, to a woman being interviewed for a position as a bartender, or a woman trying to get to know a gentlemen better at an event,, in my opinion, it's all about how she wants to portray her sex appeal, when and how ,,and again if she chooses too

[Brad 49548]

Interesting conversation.

 

I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with sex appeal or even using sex appeal as a strength or to help sell something.

 

But of course nothing is ever so simple.

 

The problem comes when someone is reduced or viewed as *only* a sex object. I think most of us would like to be thought of as attractive, and many of us work hard to try to keep our appearances in good shape (and not just for health reasons!). But it's one thing to want someone to view you as a person with sex appeal, and another thing to be viewed as nothing but a sex object. Unfortunately it's that blurred line a lot of people have trouble with. It's why you get guys who assume if a women is well done up it's OK to catcall her, and then degrade her as a tease/bitch if she doesn't accept the "compliment". I mean, just look at the pet peeves threads on this site; it doesn't take long to realize that this profession is no exception to the fact that people don't like being approached and propositioned as if they are a toy to be used.

 

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with sex appeal. And in certain contexts there's nothing wrong with admiring someone's sex appeal and complimenting them on it. What our society isn't great on is not reducing someone to only their sex appeal, especially in situations where that isn't the trait they want others to focus on.

 

And what society needs to accept, in my opinion, is that there's nothing wrong with a lady who sometimes wants to feel and be treated sexy but other times doesn't want that to be the focus and talk of every guy she passes by or deals with.

 

I also think ladies are too often blamed for men's actions. It may be that ladies using sex appeal on their own terms and when they wish does lead to some guys treating women as sex objects in general. But if a guy can't make the distinction then he is to blame, not the woman. Otherwise, isn't it a bit of a slippery slope before we start saying all women need to stay covered up head to toe and stay at home out of sight of all men lest you tempt us and corrupt us with your wily ways?

 

Anyway, just some thoughts and opinions off the top of my head. It's a complex topic.

[YoungBeautyMirella 5600]

All of us ladies post pictures that we all individually feel comfortable sharing. But at the end of the day, our 'sex appeal' does sell. On lyla (or anywhere else that we post), that is what attracts the men first and foremost, is our pictures. Whether we are naked, half naked or fully dressed. Sex does sell. No matter what.. Of course our amazing personality is what makes them stay, but the pictures is what makes someone interested first :)

[CristyCurves 169032]

Thank you to those who responded, your opinions have enlightened and educated me. Kate your explanation certainly caused me to see things in a different light, as did Brads. Being raised by a mother who always sided with the male, no matter his indiscretion. I've often blamed my self for things I shouldn't and viewed negative stereotypes as sometimes being right. My mother, as wonderful as she is in many other ways, has a very misguided view on sexuality and sex. If a female was raped, she'd blame her, her clothing, her actions for enticing the male, if a guy is a perv, she'd blame the women for making him so. Twisted I know, but probably because of how she was raised.

I think what is important in the end is being a strong role model for others and educating our young on issues such as personal empowerment, sexuality, confidence and knowing right from wrong.